Blogs

Well, I've been enjoying heroin of late. I don't use it more than three days consecutively in order to avoid a physical habit (we'll see how long that lasts).

I prefer the rush of IV coke over IV heroin but the heroin high lasts MUCH longer and doesn't have a comedown. I believe that this is due to my low tolerance.

This stuff seems to balance me. I feel more empathetic, considerate, and stable when I'm high. I know that it is a lie and eventually this shit will change on me just like the coke did.

When high on H I actually feel confident concerning my ability to quit drugs altogether. Ha! I see through that lie as well.

I know that as soon as I wake up tomorrow I will be thinking of getting high later tomorrow night.

I know that I won't stop thinking about getting high until I get some coke.

After using some coke I will still think about getting high.

After the coke is all gone I will be thinking about getting high.

When I wake up the next day I will be thinking about getting high with the addition of guesstimating how many days is long enough to do H again.

Circles are balanced, right? This circle I've outlined above is drawn much too perfect. When I crash I believe I will see this perfect circle for what it is... ...a distorted, unrecognizable shape of confusion and lies.

I must keep this 'balance' in check and recognize that I have been lying to myself without caring due to the pleasantness that makes these lies endurable.

When can I tell myself that it is over? The word scares me. 'Over' is too final. 'Over' will mean forced change. 'Over' will mean tears. 'Over' scares the shit out of me.

JUST FUCKING STOP ALREADY YOU STUPID FUCK!!!

“Are you healthy and are you happy?”, she said, in her kind voice with its lingering traces of Scottishness, she being my mum’s friend L, the occasion being my mum’s birthday meal at a local restaurant.
The question was directed at me. Health and happiness. It didn’t sound that appealing. In my twisted brain it sounded very ‘middle-class’; with connotations of gym membership, a regular sleeping pattern and the pursuit of attainable goals in the world of work.
I simply smiled weakly, politely declining to answer. Then, for some reason unbeknownst to both my current and former selves, I winked at my dad. Coffees were ordered and the evening moved on.

The conversation is relevant and significant to me now, almost two years later, because it took place on the very day that I lost my own special version of health and happiness, although I was far from aware of this at the time.
I woke up that day, thinking that all I had to face was another hangover. As the afternoon wore on, however, I became increasingly agitated and restless. My drinking had been particularly heavy that summer, and sometimes my hangovers had been infused with a nasty element of anxiety, but they had been fuck all like this. I simply could not stay still. I would move back and forth from my bedroom to the bathroom, from my bed to the toilet. The change of scenery only brought momentary relief, as in half a minute the same insatiable, horrible desire was back again. Something was just not right, there was a terrifying glitch in the matrix. It was all around, everywhere I looked. The walls of my room, my reflection in the mirror, the late summer sunshine outside my window, it all told me that something was off. I could continue, but anyone likely to be reading this can probably already relate. It was in this state I had to go to my mum’s birthday meal.
The drive from my family home to the restaurant was one of those life experiences that I could have done without. Trying desperately to relax, I twisted and contorted my body, I writhed in my seat, moving around as much as I could without bringing attention to myself. Window open. Window closed. Hands on legs. Hand behind head. Talk to my dad about football? No, the idea of having to respond to conversation filled me with terror. Window open again. Please, fuck, let us get to the restaurant.
The only way I could envisage getting through the meal was to have another drink. Whether this was through a rational assumption that I must be suffering from alcohol withdrawal syndrome, or whether it was simply an instinctive desire, I’m not sure. But for the first time in my life, I did not just want a drink. I needed one.
Finally we arrived. As soon as the waiter came to give us the menus, I asked for a beer. He told me to wait as another waiter would be taking the drinks order, and made a jokey aside which I did not quite catch, probably mocking my eagerness to get the drinks in, no doubt interpreting it as normal, healthy student behaviour. Restaurant protocol was wreaking havoc with my very biology. When the beer came, I drank half of it in one swig. Half a minute later it was finished and I had started on a glass of sparkling wine. Already I could tell that I was going to make it, I was going to be OK.
How can I describe that sensation, the way that even a small amount of alcohol had soothed me? Some alcoholics talk about drinking themselves sobre in the morning, but it would be more apt to say that whilst most of my body remained in abject terror, a tiny part of me became deliciously tipsy, and it was just about possible to hide within this bit of myself. As I drank more, I felt this friendly, euphoric part of my brain grow in stature. Soon I was able to sit still, to eat, to converse; in short to function as a human being once again. It was even enjoyable for me to act as if everything is normal, in the same way an actor or a film star might enjoy performing their role in a play or film.
It was a real buzz that I got from those first few drinks. To have those awful feelings replaced by beautiful ones is something that stays with you for a long time, and it’s something that my brain will physically remember for perhaps even longer, in the form of positive reinforcement and cravings. My withdrawal was cured, and I felt what John O’Brien (author of Leaving Las Vegas) described as the ‘illusion of health and happiness’. But it was back again the next day, with a vengeance, and moreover the cogs had been set in motion, the process had begun which has brought me to where I am today; depressed/bored, sobre and craving, at a loss as to how to regain that health and that happiness I once enjoyed.

I have had the biggest fight with my mother today, and unfortunately it has been over how much of a bitch my older sister is.

My sister is married to an abusive and very controlling man, which has led her to being very rude and harsh with her family as she lacks so much control with her life. She suffers from a typical case of sibling rivalry, as she sees me not making the stupid mistakes that she has/is. My sister and i have no relationship at all due to the competitiveness as i can't stand the games she plays, and how nasty she tends to be. Her and her husband have caused a lot of upset for me over the years. I have always put up and put up, but that was my mistake. I let too much go on and now that i try to stand my ground no one wants a bar of it.

My mother herself has also been cut off from my sister a few years ago, and badly bad mouthed to friends and family. I was expected to make things better, to pass on messages for each of them to each other and if i ever dared to say i didn't want to do it anymore my mother would go nuts at me. Which i hate - i hate fighting with anyone.

Now that i am the one in the firing line with my sister, i guess my mum is relieved it's not her being targeted anymore. Mum also fears my sister not letting her see her granddaughter as my sister has a 2 year old girl. She has used the child as a way of getting what she wants from our parents, and because they know what my sister is like, they all obey.

A lot of games are getting played in my family too. My mother constantly brings my sister up to me and talks really highly of her to me all the time, no matter how much i have asked her not too. My sister at the last family gathering completely ignored me and in fact bitched about me to other relatives while i was there. I have been very hurt about this, but i am expected to 'get over it' and move on. While i am all for getting over things and moving on, i can't without closure. But mum says "you know how your sister is, she is weaker than you.... she can't apologize and face up to her actions." but that's not ok to me, because then my mother will constantly talk about her and her daughter and rub it all in my face.

Well it all came to a head today because mum started talking about my sister as usual, so i told her i don't appreciate it - she told me that i need to stop it, and i asked mum why doesn't she ever tell my sister to stop what she does? Why am i always expected to get over shit. And like i said, usually i do - but too much has gone on for me to just keep getting over it with my sister. My mum had the nerve to tell me she 'believes things when she see's them' so therefore she wont tell my sister to stop what she is doing. Even though she has done it to my mother a few years ago, but managed to stop when the baby was born because of all the help she needs from mum now.

I know we are all adults and it shouldn't be up to the parents to stop the fight now days, but it is different rules for me than it is with my sister. There have been times when i have told my sister to go fuck herself, so she would freak out thinking i was going to run to mum and tell her what she said to me (as if i would) so she'd call mum crying and going hysterical and get mum so worked up that she'd call me and blast me... it's like wtf??? I wasn't the one starting shit! Ugh... this is never ending. And so incredibly childish.

My mum and i have agreed to have nothing to do with each other. I am really hurt, but also very over the bullshit. I need a few days to pass already so i will feel better about everything... hopefully. Good luck to them all and their stupid bullshit. And they better think again if they think they can weasel back into my life once i have had my first child. No doubt they will and i will be expected to act like nothing is wrong, like usual.

i do miss my journal

the word journal just sounds

more thoughtful


now the word "blog" comes with some interesting requirements.

such as actually writing about something.

I decided yesterday to step down from all my positions on Bluelight. This board has been such a huge part of my life since I've joined and I wouldn't give up that time for anything, but now I feel like my time here is really putting a strain on my "real life" time.

I need to concentrate on me right now and bettering my future/health.

I'll always be around to some extent but not as a mod anymore.

It makes me kind of sad to do this, but I know it's for the best. Thanks to all the people that have made such a great impact on my life over the past years, you're wonderful.

I never liked the term blog, ever.

I usually adapt well to change but this never caught on for me.

So anyway, my journal went MIA for god knows how long and here I am with a BLOG.
I promise I'll come to terms with it, like all things. Over time.

I don't remember the last time i logged into my LJ.

If cleanliness is godliness, (if i type that out again, you have permission to hit report) then i guess convenience is key. Let's not forget about all the eggs being in one basket though, diversify, diversify. Within the .RU of course

Anyway, i think i was going to write about something.

Oh yeh, dear journal i got a new stick

The end.

this very well may be my last blog/journal thing for a while.

i feel like such a fucking asshole. yea my mom's bat shit crazy but it's not her fault. she gets pissed off and yells some pretty fantastic shit straight into my face but it's understandable. bills bills bills money money money. her boyfriend left and she's having trouble financially and me being here isnt helping her at all. i only work 3 hours a day on account of daycare costs. i know i get malaura what she needs but i soak up funds. when her boyfriend was here she told me to work at the greenhouse to help the g-ma and not to worry about a full-time job, so i didnt. and dumbass me didnt think about it when her boyfriend left.

i dont really like the fact of my mom scaring the shit out of me the way she use to when i was small. phones being slammed in my face and whatnot. but dammit i can understand her viewpoint. i can see how stressed she must be and how much of a burden i am right now. i know her personality and how success is so important to her. that not being able to keep the internet and cable would be damaging to her self esteem. small things like that are what builds up and makes a person scream. i hate knowing i contribute to that.

someone talked to me today and made me think about things. i get so frustrated that she doesnt act a certain way that i forget about how im acting. and that usually means im acting like a child. then we're right back to where we were ten years ago. that's something i have to let go. i cant keep letting bullshit from the past affect me so much. i catch myself in so much self pity sometimes it's pathetic. not outwardly, god no, im sure once i verbalized what i was thinking to someone else id ask them to punch me.

ill miss the internet
it's getting cut off tomorrow im pretty sure. that's what she said at least. but hopefully when i help her get caught up with everything it'll get turned back on.

what ill miss the most though, after it does get cut off, is someone who has changed me drastically for the better in such a short time without even knowing it.

you only call me when you're lonely
is when I hear from you
you never are around when you owe me
that's all I get from you

never touch me less I'm cryin
less I'm cryin for you
never know if you are lyin
but I'm hopin for the truth

and while we got some time to kill
let's stop for a smoke or two
and have a laugh at the things we do

btw the skies today are bluer than your eyes
you say it's sun but it feels like rain to me
standin waitin to realize
sometime bad is good enough for me

never once said that you loved me
less I did something for you
then you said it's caused you never asked me
that it's cause you thought I knew

wanted me to stop the bleeding
but I couldn't stop the love
still I couldn't leave you lying
in the rain and the mud

btw btw everything's gonna be ok
and all the stars are gonna fade away
but they'll shine again someday
btw btw

[COLOR="Blue"][/COLOR]If you recognize that all of your inner hurts are caused by your own "wrong actions" or your own "wrong reactions" or your own "wrong inaction" then you will stop hurting yourself.

work this week has been full on, but good. thank god its over. i was rapt to have recieved my roster for the following week today; to realise that i have next friday off too. that will be three long weekends in a row. long weekends makes for a super happy kytn. :D jugs and hooters here i come!

tomorrow night im going out with two girls from work to get messy at a bar in surfers. we have done this twice before with magical results and i look forward to doing it again. the two girls and i are very similar in personality and have an awesome time when we go out; we feed off each others madness and spend the night in fits of laughter. i cant wait; its been just what the doctor ordered.

i dont know how to express this or where to begin but two guys at work have been wierding me out. one is a seedy old fuck who persists on saying wierd shit to me throughout the day that unnerves the hell out of me and the other is a dude three years my senior who flirts with me to keep his work time interesting. both situations are sticky as fuck and im trying to avoid them like the plague.

for example; with the older dude; im associates with his wife also; and he persists on telling me sexy jokes and making sexy comments. it got so bad two days ago while i was doing some filing; that when he slapped my ass i jumped and said "ken you seedy pirate; fuck off; im telling your wife". that seems to have gotten him to back off a little; but he keeps coming into my office to see where i am and will say "ive been looking out for you; and was wondering where you were" ill casually reply "youve found me"; but the whole thing is creeping me out.

the other dude keeps trying to make personal jokes with me and strange comments about my personal appearance. for example; during my tea break i sat at the outdoor staff table killing a coffee and cigarette and he came out, sat down and opened the paper; reading aloud an article about cocaine usage being on the rise and said "cocaine was once considered a drug that was solely used by the beautiful people of society" and turned to me and said "kytn, youre beautiful; do you love cocaine?" and was staring at me all wierd. this hasnt been a one off thing, and hes now asking more about my personal life each day and taking his break times at the same time as mine. this afternoon as i clocking out he was showing two interns some pics on his phone of his cock (for fuck knows what reason) and as i walked by he said "id show kytn, but i have more respect for her than that; too we havent had the chance to get that intimate; yet". i laughed and said "i heard its a small photo anyway" and kept walking.

this shit is wierd. i dont like it. im very professional at work; and even though i enjoy the social aspects of my job; i like to keep it professionally social; not "friends" social with 99% of people; males especially out of respect for the mr and myself.

do. not. want.

I just got a phone call from my mom saying that my uncle is basically dying. He has ALS and hasn't been doing too well apparently. He has pneumonia now and he requested that he not be put on ventilators.

My mom said that it would take a miracle for him to survive and was already asking if I could be there for the funeral.

And now I have to go to work. FUCK!

I have been using pretty hard since my girl left. Shooting coke, poppin E, chewing percs, drinkin' and smokin' weed.

This weekend I'll only be drinking. This poses a problem. I haven't been dealing with the loss of the woman I love so I expect all the emotions and feelings of loss will be hitting me at once.

I don't know if I'll be able to handle the onslaught of emotions that will most likely hit me hardcore.

Oh well... just gotta prepare myself the best I can.

She has been reading my blogs but I no longer care. I need to post to help deal with things. I need to post honestly as well so that I can get honest advice/opinions from others just like me.

The true beloveds of this world are in their lover's eyes lilacs opening, ship lights, school bells, a landscape, remembered conversations, friends, a child's Sunday, lost voices, one's favorite suit, autumn and all seasons, memory, yes, it being the earth and water of existence, memory.

Click to expand...

- Truman Capote, 'Other Voices, Other Rooms'

Tuesday afternoon at work was accompanied by the second disc of the latest Eskimo Joe album, a collection of live recordings, when iTunes ticked over to 'From The Sea' - Live at Enmore Theatre.

For a few seconds I tried to place the opening guitar chords, those distinctive riffs over the sound of a live audience. There was a place where I'd heard this once, and it seemed important to know where and what that was.

Like old blinds being drawn in a deserted house on a sunny afteroon, the revelation of that memory brings flooding light over old furniture in a room that was long ago deserted.

The date is January 30th, 2005. I'm in the lower tiers of the grandstand at the Royal Melbourne Showgrounds, in front of me is the main stage decked out under blue and orange canopies. It's almost 1pm and a crowd of thousands are gathered standing.

I remember this moment because of a photo, probably one of the least interesting and meaningful photos in my huge collection from those days, but I know from the memory of it that this is the moment that Eskimo Joe are about to begin playing - what was then - their biggest single.

A warm and knowing smile breaks across my face as the song begins. From near the front I can see a beach ball being punched around and hands going into the air after it. I'm smiling like a fool because my first Big Day Out has just started... and also because I'm madly in love with the girl sitting next to me... she is probably laughing because I'm taking a photo of nothing.

Hello hello oh hello
The world repeats itself some how
She knows she knows oh she knows

The weather that day was perfect, as was the Red Russian I consumed which led to the rest of the day being not so well remembered. I know at one point I was making grass-angels on the lawn of that same main stage during Powderfinger, caught the first part of the Beastie Boys and a spine-tingling set by the Chemical Brothers to finish.

I don't understand why I should so strongly associate with that one moment at the start, captured in a photo, that would otherwise be meaningless. As if I were to know, even before 1pm, that it would be one of the best days of my life.

Back in 2009, I turn to stare out the window, tears welling up in my eyes. It takes almost thirty minutes before I can compose myself enough to start working again, the time index on the song stopped at 2.15... I tell iTunes to skip ahead.

please find someone else to pine over.
it's nauseating, irritating, pathetic.
i don't know you. i don't need your 'help.'
the snide little comments just make me laugh mate.
please get some real friends.

It kinda bothered me for a while that I thought people would think I would somehow fuck him over as he is so well liked and respected. But then it didnt as it did not matter what other peoples perceptions were.

My perception was I was secure with someone who was respectful of women, wonderful in nature and also very trustworthy.

I was let down by my own take on a false reality. No one is who they seem.

We are talking a bit, not much as I think its too raw. But this is the ultimate nail in the coffin for trust in any friendship formed here. I just cant see how anyone can be who they say they are anymore.

I think its time to go and be where I was before this existed. I dont like the influence its had or losing people who never existed.

I’ve been in love with so many women
Tall, small, long, smooth, sexy, sleek, and fine
But only one girl is my kind
Fucking in bedroom after three glasses of wine

everything was great. i recieved a phone call late friday afternoon from my sister asking that i call my dad saturday morning as the hospital called regarding some tests he had had on friday morning; and asked that he come back immediately. this isnt uncommon for my father as he has struggled with heart disease for the past 15 years and has had more operations than i have had hot dinners. my sister asked that i not worry and said that if she found anything out sooner; she would let me know.

i went out with my girlfriends on friday night and had a blast. we girlied up, drank, danced and just had a knockout time; at 11:30pm i got the mr to pick me up as i was beat from the weeks work; and anxious to be with my family.

first thing saturday morning i called my dad and wasnt expecting to hear what i did. hes been diagnosed with an aggressive form of prostate cancer. im fucking shattered. his twin brother passed of the same condition just last year; and was dead within four months of diagnosis. this is all too close to home and surreal. he is being operated on in two weeks to further investigate and remove what they can; but are concerned that its spread to his bowels.

im in shock. i dont know what to say or even how to express it. i will be flying home to be there for his op and recovery period and to just be there with him. i really hope my boss is understanding of the situation and is willing to give me a week or two off. im finding it hard to write this without crying, so im going to leave it at that, i just had to say it outloud somewhere as im trying to hide my feelings from my family and remain optimistic for them and my fathers sake.

god i hope he'll be ok. i love that crazy old wog.

I kinda dread weekends as I know Ill probably brood a lot on the usual shit, keep quiet, avoid social stuff and knock myself out.

And,, thats exactly what did happen. Again.

Declan was a bit drunk when I got home from work, I proceeded to get drunk too. I was planning on meeting some girls out at the pub but the were not there yet either so I wasnt in a rush.

Declan is a martial arts fanatic and happily held me down in various painful grips- kinda fun but a bit rough really.

Then we compared previous sexual exploits- his all topping mine. Including a chick who took him to a farm and blew a horse in front of him.

Anyway, I cant recall this as I was drunk- I passed on going out as I had too much to drink- we had a sort of tiff about casual sex and what it really meant. He explained hes just gotten rid of the last of his 3 girls and has had heaps of it and sees it as something to do with anyone when horny.

I don't. I told him even though he is really cute, if I thought he was a loser or a total cunt then I wouldn't be interested in sex. *SHUDDER*. I said I was ok with us having this weird close friendship that snaps into rampant fucking as hes genuinely a great guy and isnt pretending to want anything else which I appreciate. He said "Oh no, shes getting all emoTiOnAl!!" and I shut up at this point as we were both drunk.

As I was being quieter than usual, he became more attentive and probably was aware he was a bit crass, so calmed down a bit. We said "G'nite lovey" to each other and the next time I saw him was this afternoon.

I couldn't sleep on Friday so I took a couple seroquels. Im saving my valium for a rainy day. That took out all Saturday when I was meant to be op shopping and sat night when I was meant to go see the girls.

Declan and I spent a relaxed evening watching dvd's, throwing things at each other and comparing burps.

Im not that anxious if we never sleep together again, I know its going to be hard to resist him but maybe Im better off just not going there. Not initiating it anyway. And he likes to put the feelers out enough to get ME to suggest it, but not actually make the first move himself. Like, he sent me another bluetooth pic of him naked in bed- which I did not respond to. Im not going to come running every time he wants to get lucky ha ha.

Besides, theres plenty more fish in the sea!

I have a date with a very cute Army guy who is Phillipino and has a shaved head soon. And Alasdair will be back from out bush in a couple weeks. AND D from Melbourne has moved to Surfer's Paradise and has opened his own restaurant. Ill be visiting him when I can. AND.... ah bugger it. Time for bed!

sos im reading through my old journal on here and have come to realize just how therapeutic the whole process is.
i mean, it embarrasses me to even read because of how ignorant i was about things. my different points of view until now. it's humbling because it makes you think of how stupid you were and still could be but builds you up for what you know now.

so many things have changed.

Witness to murder for stress's relief
Deep anger due to a false belief
Rage from your friend stomped like a fly
Taunted by those who love you - but why?
Something snaps in you, a short circuit deluxe
The fulcrum emotion set off is the crux
Your core beliefs toyed with again
Bravery's not about firepower, it's within
Every self value that you hold true
Whether family or just the power of you
This bubbling fury overflowing through
Your vessels and then striking true
Hitting your brain, your hairs stand on end
Your foe's life and values you'll viciously rend

I wonder what yukodal or jukodal is.I know only it was given to cc prisoners by such Nazi doctors as Mengele was. In the mix with meth.Is that true?Who has the slightest idea???????????

Aromatherapy has always interested me……
I love it and use it regularly.

Aromatherapy means “to treat by scents”.

“Aromatherapy is the use of essential oils to aid in the balancing of the body, mind, and spirit.”
source

Essential Oils can be used in massage, baths, inhalation and ingested (though ingesting an essential oil is considered herbal medicine and not aromatherapy).

Aromatherapy has been around for thousands of years-
Many credit the Egyptians for the discovery of aromatherapy-
Nearly 6000 years ago they used it for healing emotions, embalming, cosmetics and medicinal purposes.
Most well known was the Egyptians use of essential oils in embalming-
It is said that myrrh, cloves and nutmeg were part of this process.
They are also credited with the invention of the distillation machine.
There is evidence of aromatherapy being used in Ancient Greece, India, China, and Rome.
Texts found in Babylon (1700 BC) suggests the use of Myrrh and Cedar in many medicinal recipes.

There are stories from all around the world of the use of essential oils in healing the body, mind and spirit.
My favorite story is that of the Four Thieves .
During the Bubonic Plague there were four men, all worked at a perfumery-
They were bold in their robbing of people sick from the plague.
They would enter the homes, take what they wanted, and never got sick.
Eventually they were caught and told if they told their secret of how they never fell ill they would be released.
They told that they had made long cones (think a large beak) that they filled with certain herbs and essential oils that they wore into the homes. The inhalation of these oils kept them well.
They were then hung after sharing their recipe.
Now there have been scientific studies of these herbs and many many more that prove that they have antiseptic, antibacterial properties.
You can use a combination of these oils or singularly to make cleaning products.
Essential Oils can be found in Organic Cleaning Products sold in stores.
You can even sometimes find “the Four Thieves Blend” sold in stores.(though if you compare, they are different from each other)

I use oils in making lotions, soaps, cleaning products, body sprays, massage oils (some oils are great for soothing sore muscles) , facial steams and blends for the oil burner or diffuser to scent the room..
There are so many options ……
There are single oils and blends to clear allergies, relieve stress, get you energized, clear your mind, and open your heart…….

I hope we will continue to learn from aromatherapy’s history and continue to include it in our lives as a healing tool in the future.

Perhaps this college craze…
Isn’t so much my thing
Never before
Has life outside these walls
Been more appealing

this morning i woke, coffeed, bluelighted and smoked like a chimney before everyone at camp kytn got out of bed. i love that hour of "me" time. i dont think a whole lot during it; but thats what i love.

my daughter and i went to the mall this morning for her to buy the mr his birthday gift (its his bday next tuesday). she chose two really cool shirts that hes not expecting.

were both excited that he'll have a surprise to wake to; as he already knows of the flatscreen monitor i bought for his office; and new prescription sunnies (as he chose the frames and tint) he'll now have to brave all of the travelling he's gotta do only armed with his standard specs.

i then got my nails done, bought the little miss a new book and shirt; and stopped in at supre (which is wierd as i generally dont think much of that store) to buy myself a new shirt to wear out tonight with the girls. its a long off the shoulder fitted black number; i hope it works as well as it looked in my head. ha.

anyways guise, im off to do some housework and cook the mr and little miss an epic meal for them to sit down to tonight; and pull out my book that im killing to finish.

take care and safe travels to everyone this weekend.