Today is Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 and it is now
9:48 AM here in Brooklyn, NYC.
Music wise, I am watching Youtube...I love the "Hed Kandi" compilations as I have said
ad naseum, and have for more than a decade now. The problem of course is that so many of the artists on them have only made a couple of tracks and so there is never really a video, or at least one anyone might care to see. so...Usually I am left to my own devices as I listen to the track on Youtube, staring at the cover of the compliation or , at times, some Chill Out visual, like a sunset,etc.
"Midnight Love" by Tennishero...This track takes me back to the wooden deck at Guest House #9 on Beong Keok Lake in PP in Cambodia. The Guest House is a famous druggie dump, but that deck? Hash from all over the world, all the Back Packers, and... Rizza and I just looking out at the sunset, over the lake as the Khmer in their dugouts, harvesting their waterlillys...
www.youtube.com/?v=ugHz5EMF0UQ
Not too long ago someone brought up the question of my leaving NYC, and I was of the mind that it would be VERY soon, as in a day or two given the fact that I had just finished talking to Rizza via IM and believed we had overcome that huge hurdle... but alas, that was more than a week ago and obviously I am here.
Her mum is now going crazy, and I do not blame her because so am I...The difference being that since I was a lad of 11 I have been drilled and trained in overcoming such emotions and channeling them for advantage. I think it was neccessary, in Israel we rarely have the cases of PTSD that they have in the US. I killed my first man when I was 16 and have not had a moment's pause over it since. Contrary to what some say it never gets "easier," there is always a very heavy gravitas but none -the-less I am well grounded in what I did and why.
My mother-in-law though is a very simple woman. Smart as a whip, a degreed Engineer just like my father-in-law BUT she has never been further than Manila, and only then 2 times (1 of which was last month, which I will get to). She is a rural Bisaya woman from Mindanao and as such, her goal in life is to have many children (which she has) and to be a good wife. Fufillment to her is to have her children turn out good and that is fine, it is the Jewish way as well; EVERYTHING for the family.
Now comes Rizza, who for so long has been telling everyone that she is fine with us spending our life near the family. Reality though hit her hard. She wants to move to Europe...she would EVEN take the US at this point and there is no way I will spend my life in the West. She would take Israel as well, and that is fine with me of course, I love it but it is the family...
Rizza is the eldest daughter, the family is wealthy, and she is expected to be the second mum to the younger siblings, to help her parents as much as possible in that way as well as the businesses...and of course to produce many children to fill up the compound.
I truly do not know how it will turn out. Every morning my time, I wake up, it is evening at home, and right away Mom and Dad IM me, and ask me if I have made progress with her. Some days it is good news for them, others it is damn hard.
I am only 42, though I feel ancient with the life I have led. I have never even considered what my life would be like if she and I end. One of my biggest concerns is what would happen to her. Her family will never look at her again if it comes down to that, she would not be able to show her face in either San Franz OR in Tisa (Cebu) because of our huge extended family knowing every detail of everything.
Back there, if you look at your wife wrong you will have rumours within hours, crazy shit...
Hmmm...Let me deal with soemthing else.
I still need to get my TB reaction dealt with. I have to get the full chest work up, and then take a
9 month regimen of anti-virals to hopefully knock it out. The danger is in not keeping on my regimen, missing even 2 days can convert into a drug resistant strain according to my MD though I really need to look it up because that just sounds too paranoid to my thinking. 2 days and it is resistant? All I need...
Why do I procrastinate? It is always like that, in every part of my personal life. NEVER in the army, OR work but anything else...INERTIA squared.
Still on methadone, my usual 220 mgs.
My eldest brother-in-law, Ariel whom we call Tarik finally left for the West. He was supposed to be going to Northern Ireland but I advised him to do his best to try and snag a better placement. He ended up in Manchester, at least he will see some amazing football! Filipinos could not give a rat's ass about football (soccer to you Americans!). For some perverse reason, filipinos LOVE basketball.
Here is what is so bizarre though, so do Jews! Neither one of us have an iota of rythym and yet, both Peoples are absolutely rabid for the sport. Manchester United redeems England in my eyes because I loathe the country otherwise, mostly a bunch of Jew hating hypocrites as i see it.
Academic Boycott? Artistic Boycott (against israel)? Those are the 2 vehichles with which to effect change within a society so that in boycotting them you are saying you do not want the country to change, you just hate the country and want nothing to do with it regardless of what it does or does not do.
"Divestment Against Israel" is a piece of hypocrisy is ever there has been one. It makes no sense whatsoever. See, the rationale is Israel's "brutal oppression and occupation of Palestine," its "racist laws and actions" and so on. Problem #1 though is that Israel is the Nation of the Jewish People. Jews AND Arabs are BOTH Semites, how can we then be "racist"? Furthermore, Israeli-Arabs who make up a full 20% of our population not only have every right that I do, they have EXTRA rights. they alone of all Israeli demographics (we have many minority groups) have blanket exemptions from both Military AND National Service (the latter being a form of community service that takes half the time but gives the same social benefits).
Anyway, so Ariel is in London now, in Orientation for the NHS (Britain's socialised medicine system). As I said he will be heading up to Manchester to work in a General Toxicology Lab. Good, I can get him to snag me some decent lab equipment!
Dad and he had gone back to San Franz, and when it came time for him to depart. Mom joined them and they all headed up to Manila. they stayed in Makati again and Mom was so excited to see Jews hahahaah. Salcedo Village is the section in Makati where the Israeli Embassy is, as well as the country's own synagouge, which my Clan was 50% responsible in building.
My Clan, the Dwek, are spreadt out nicely around the world, in Textiles but mostly in Electronics. the branch in SE Asia though is MOSTLY into Textiles.
I will close with that exciting piece of news...
Anyway, shitty update but an update it is.
(Edited for spelling)
9:48 AM here in Brooklyn, NYC.
Music wise, I am watching Youtube...I love the "Hed Kandi" compilations as I have said
ad naseum, and have for more than a decade now. The problem of course is that so many of the artists on them have only made a couple of tracks and so there is never really a video, or at least one anyone might care to see. so...Usually I am left to my own devices as I listen to the track on Youtube, staring at the cover of the compliation or , at times, some Chill Out visual, like a sunset,etc.
"Midnight Love" by Tennishero...This track takes me back to the wooden deck at Guest House #9 on Beong Keok Lake in PP in Cambodia. The Guest House is a famous druggie dump, but that deck? Hash from all over the world, all the Back Packers, and... Rizza and I just looking out at the sunset, over the lake as the Khmer in their dugouts, harvesting their waterlillys...
www.youtube.com/?v=ugHz5EMF0UQ
Not too long ago someone brought up the question of my leaving NYC, and I was of the mind that it would be VERY soon, as in a day or two given the fact that I had just finished talking to Rizza via IM and believed we had overcome that huge hurdle... but alas, that was more than a week ago and obviously I am here.
Her mum is now going crazy, and I do not blame her because so am I...The difference being that since I was a lad of 11 I have been drilled and trained in overcoming such emotions and channeling them for advantage. I think it was neccessary, in Israel we rarely have the cases of PTSD that they have in the US. I killed my first man when I was 16 and have not had a moment's pause over it since. Contrary to what some say it never gets "easier," there is always a very heavy gravitas but none -the-less I am well grounded in what I did and why.
My mother-in-law though is a very simple woman. Smart as a whip, a degreed Engineer just like my father-in-law BUT she has never been further than Manila, and only then 2 times (1 of which was last month, which I will get to). She is a rural Bisaya woman from Mindanao and as such, her goal in life is to have many children (which she has) and to be a good wife. Fufillment to her is to have her children turn out good and that is fine, it is the Jewish way as well; EVERYTHING for the family.
Now comes Rizza, who for so long has been telling everyone that she is fine with us spending our life near the family. Reality though hit her hard. She wants to move to Europe...she would EVEN take the US at this point and there is no way I will spend my life in the West. She would take Israel as well, and that is fine with me of course, I love it but it is the family...
Rizza is the eldest daughter, the family is wealthy, and she is expected to be the second mum to the younger siblings, to help her parents as much as possible in that way as well as the businesses...and of course to produce many children to fill up the compound.
I truly do not know how it will turn out. Every morning my time, I wake up, it is evening at home, and right away Mom and Dad IM me, and ask me if I have made progress with her. Some days it is good news for them, others it is damn hard.
I am only 42, though I feel ancient with the life I have led. I have never even considered what my life would be like if she and I end. One of my biggest concerns is what would happen to her. Her family will never look at her again if it comes down to that, she would not be able to show her face in either San Franz OR in Tisa (Cebu) because of our huge extended family knowing every detail of everything.
Back there, if you look at your wife wrong you will have rumours within hours, crazy shit...
Hmmm...Let me deal with soemthing else.
I still need to get my TB reaction dealt with. I have to get the full chest work up, and then take a
9 month regimen of anti-virals to hopefully knock it out. The danger is in not keeping on my regimen, missing even 2 days can convert into a drug resistant strain according to my MD though I really need to look it up because that just sounds too paranoid to my thinking. 2 days and it is resistant? All I need...
Why do I procrastinate? It is always like that, in every part of my personal life. NEVER in the army, OR work but anything else...INERTIA squared.
Still on methadone, my usual 220 mgs.
My eldest brother-in-law, Ariel whom we call Tarik finally left for the West. He was supposed to be going to Northern Ireland but I advised him to do his best to try and snag a better placement. He ended up in Manchester, at least he will see some amazing football! Filipinos could not give a rat's ass about football (soccer to you Americans!). For some perverse reason, filipinos LOVE basketball.
Here is what is so bizarre though, so do Jews! Neither one of us have an iota of rythym and yet, both Peoples are absolutely rabid for the sport. Manchester United redeems England in my eyes because I loathe the country otherwise, mostly a bunch of Jew hating hypocrites as i see it.
Academic Boycott? Artistic Boycott (against israel)? Those are the 2 vehichles with which to effect change within a society so that in boycotting them you are saying you do not want the country to change, you just hate the country and want nothing to do with it regardless of what it does or does not do.
"Divestment Against Israel" is a piece of hypocrisy is ever there has been one. It makes no sense whatsoever. See, the rationale is Israel's "brutal oppression and occupation of Palestine," its "racist laws and actions" and so on. Problem #1 though is that Israel is the Nation of the Jewish People. Jews AND Arabs are BOTH Semites, how can we then be "racist"? Furthermore, Israeli-Arabs who make up a full 20% of our population not only have every right that I do, they have EXTRA rights. they alone of all Israeli demographics (we have many minority groups) have blanket exemptions from both Military AND National Service (the latter being a form of community service that takes half the time but gives the same social benefits).
Anyway, so Ariel is in London now, in Orientation for the NHS (Britain's socialised medicine system). As I said he will be heading up to Manchester to work in a General Toxicology Lab. Good, I can get him to snag me some decent lab equipment!
Dad and he had gone back to San Franz, and when it came time for him to depart. Mom joined them and they all headed up to Manila. they stayed in Makati again and Mom was so excited to see Jews hahahaah. Salcedo Village is the section in Makati where the Israeli Embassy is, as well as the country's own synagouge, which my Clan was 50% responsible in building.
My Clan, the Dwek, are spreadt out nicely around the world, in Textiles but mostly in Electronics. the branch in SE Asia though is MOSTLY into Textiles.
I will close with that exciting piece of news...
Anyway, shitty update but an update it is.
(Edited for spelling)