It's crazy, but ever since I quit my active pill addiction almost a year ago, I have discovered these untapped wells of empathy inside me. Was this always there? I mean, I have always been able to "put myself in the other person's shoes", and have always been a "good listener", and as a human being, of course have always cared about the poor/downtrodden/sick, abused kids, animals, etc.
This feels somehow different, like I have this driving need to put my feelings into
action and do something, do all I can, to help my fellow man. To this end, I am seriously considering entering a program at the local university here in Mobile to become a Physician Assistant. My dream is to work either in an E.R., or maybe work with a doctor who specializes in addiction. The latter is one area I know I could add a lot of value to, as I of course have walked that particular walk all my life.
This is something I really want to do; however, to make it happen, I will have to take a lot of preliminary steps before I can apply to the actual program. The college degree I have is sorely lacking in the biological sciences, chemistry, anatomy, etc., so I'll have to take those classes first off. Luckily, my undergrad GPA is above a 3.0, which happens to be the cut-off for the PA program here at South Alabama. I am probably going to start slowly and just dip my toe in the pool at first, maybe take one, two classes at the most the first semester. It is going to take a year and a half to two years to make up all these prerequisite classes, but I look forward eagerly to taking them.
I will have to obtain a letter of rec from a practicing physician which will not be a problem.
Then, I'll apply to the program and pray! The program takes about two years or a little more to complete, including clinicals.
Is anyone on here a PA? If so, I'd love to hear any advice/experiences/caveats you have to offer.
I hope that working in this capacity will be a good outlet for my desire to "save the world", LOL!
The other day, my friend and I were getting in her car to leave work, when a woman came walking over the hill calling to us, "Excuse me! I need to ask y'all a question!" We waited for her to come up to the car, and she asked us which churches in the area were known for helping those in need.
Well, as anyone who has ever lived here in the South can attest to, there is a church approximately every five hundred yards,
, and the small suburban town in which I live and work has its fair share. Also, I happen to be acquainted with several of the ministers of said churches, which comes to play in this story, as I really think I could have done more to help this girl.
Anyway, she was slightly overweight with bad teeth and a polyester sleeveless top. She just had that run-down rural Alabama look I see on so many faces here, a look which makes my heart want to break. She had tears in her eyes as she told me the story of how her cousin and cousin's husband had been arguing and had asked her to leave their house, which is evidently where she had been staying, and she had been out on the street for
two days. She once again reiterated that she needed some help and was hoping a church could assist her. I told her that the Pathways church close by is very large and well-known for their outreach to the community. She told us that she was hoping to get enough cash together to rent a motel room downtown so she could ride the bus line to get to other places she needed to go; the busses don't run this far out in the 'burbs.
She thanked us for our time and was on her way in the direction of the Wal-Mart, still crying.
I could have done so, so so much more to help her. It was after work, I was tired and had ridden in that day with my friend, but it's no excuse.
if I had it to do over again, and had I been in my own car, I would have:
1. Taken her to my house so she could sit down in air conditioning and had something to drink. This is summer in Mobile, Alabama, and it has been an even hotter one than average. Temps have been close to 100 degrees, with ridiculous humidity ever since the beginning of June.
2. Let her use my cell phone to make some calls, or even made them for her, as I happen to know some of the local ministers and church folk in this town.
3. Given her some cash and a ride downtown.
None of these things would have cost me much, but would have made a world of difference to this poor girl. I pray I do the right thing next time. Usually I do, so why not this time? I have picked up people I have seen walking in the rain, have helped stranded motorists, have offered shelter in my home to people needing a temporary place to stay. The way I figure it is, what is life really all about if not to help one another? Being a spiritual person, and always having had an abiding faith in God, I believe it is our imperative as humans to offer aid and succor to those who have little.
I may not "have it all", but since getting clean, I look around me and it's like, wow, I have so much that could easily be taken for granted. A nice house, enough money, a decent enough job, (for now), the benefit of higher education, a middle-class upbringing, a loving family, a healthy, happy, successful kid. My life has been blessed.
Going through withdrawal and being so horribly dopesick for what felt like forever taught me more about myself than almost any other life experience. I feel like a stronger, more capable person and my self-confidence is much higher than it was prior to ever using, (or God forbid, when I was in active addiction. All my good feelings were so false, and contingent upon my supply of hydro. What a shitty way to go through life, at least for me.)
My prayer for today is simply this: God, thank you for all the gifts you have bestowed upon me. Please help me find a way to use my talents to help other people, and please do not ever let me pass by another opportunity to offer a leg up to anyone who needs it. Let me be ever thankful for all the good I see and ever vigilant about remaining true to myself. Amen
Thanks all y'all for reading this. It's a great outlet for getting thoughts out in the open, and I appreciate anyone who stops by and takes the time to read my words. Bless all y'all...I get so much out of reading your posts, hearing your experiences and knowing that I am not alone in what I have gone through/continue to go through.
Peace Out...
JAC
