Blogs

Hey there, I am a newly registered member who's been reading and using this forum for years, but never joined the site until now.

Basically, I finally got tired of reading posts about CWE's and "How to remove caffeine from codeine products"... so I decided to make an account and inform you all on a quick and simple process I thought up on my own that is very effective.

This method in a sense is a spin-off from the "syringe method" that's been floating around on the internet for a couple years now except this one has even more advantages, primarily -> It doesnt take a fucking hour trying to push water through tightly packed powder in a plastic tube (sweet! =o)

So here is what you do.
The chemical properties of caffeine dissolved in water are on average 16mg/ml (at room temperature). So measure out about 15 ml's of water which will equate to no more than 250 mg of caffeine.

*you will need pills, a funnel, several filters, a glass and room temperature water*

-> Take 3-4 coffee filters, wet them and line the edge of the funnel with them.

-> Grind your 50 ac&c pills or whatever number you use and pour the powder into the funnel

-> next pour the 15 ml's over top the powder, it will seem to dissapear into the haze of powder but some water will still leak out the bottom

-> next twist up the coffee filters like a normal CWE and squeeze as much water as you can through the powder into the glass

-> place the twisted-up filters (containing powder) back into the funnel, un-twist and take your solution in the glass and pour it back over top the powder again

-> twist-up and repeat process of squeezing water through filters into glass

*You may do this process as many times as you wish, I'm not sure how much more codeine you get everytime you repeat the procedure, I like to do it three or four times just to be sure*

The idea behind this... likely previously suggested techniques... is that very little caffeine will be extracted from 15 ml's of water and you can pour the water through the powder as much as you like without pulling out anymore caffeine from the pills. This method is tried and true and even takes less time than a normal CWE would... I know this is like an extremely simple process but I dont think very many people realise you can actually do what im suggesting.

So stop wasting your time trying to push water through a syringe and just ring that shit out from a normal ole' coffee filter.

question or comments are appreciated. Let me kno if you found my explanation confusing and ill try to re-word it differently.

enjoy

Just got back from the barn out in Amherst played some music with my buddy Shawn. Its just me playin my guitar and a drummer. Music rules I don't think i could live without it. I think I might stay home the rest of the night get some dinner from somewhere and watch a good movie. Sundays are so peaceful.

Somewhere deep inside your mind there's a place where you can rest surrounded by the still waters of silence.

It is here were you remember long forgotten ideas and meet yourself for the first time, and be reminded of what is truely important.

This is a place of deja-vu, disassociated observation, remarkable realisation and exaltation. Within the tryptamine dream you might very well find temporary enlightenment as a permanent state of mind.

But one should not forget that this is a forced experience mandated by a chemical that's also able to swing the dream into a nightmare.

As we struggle through life balancing the middle ground of the seesaw between right and wrong, I need to remind myself to pause and look at what the dream means from a practical perspective.

Ultimately, at the very end of all that matters, nothing really means anything unless we find meaning for ourselves. Where you go, there you are, and as I dream my life passing by it's the memory of the tryptamine dream that continues to make sense.

A life of sad beauty softened by the knowledge of love and peace as seen in the tryptamine dream.

I went to Arlington last night. My best friend lives there. It is only about 10 minutes from here. Well, his girl and him came and got me last night. I needed to get out and see him and talk. We chilled in the garage and smoked some k2 (sucks I know, but we are both on probation) and drank some beers. It was a good night. This week has been the most social week I have had in a while. I have gotten out of the house and hung out with friends every day this week.

I have enjoyed it. Hopefully things will be alright. It was so good to see my friend, his girl, and his kid. She is 1 year old. Shes so cute.

We had bacon, eggs, and toast this morning. He's really got his shit together, maybe I should take after him.

Yesterday started out awesome, I woke up in the arms of my gal. We were happy and silly and the usual stuff. We had stayed the night at her place (my son is away at his fathers until later today), and so we decided to go to my house (a 5-10min walk away). We picked up a couple things at the store and came here.

We had been sitting around my place watching a movie ("Angels in America") which is pretty damn good btw. Though never finished it yet. We kept being interrupted so we decided to turn off the movie and go to the local BBQ.

We were in line for burgers and hot dogs, which is a miracle in itself because we both hate large crowds and tons of people. We were both getting pissed off with people butting in for food. Then a neighbor kid of mine lines up behind us. He's been a good kid for the past couple days (except for that morning) and so we didn't think anything today. Then he just starts jumping around yelling "THESE TWO ARE LESBIANS! LESSSSSBIANSSS!" so even though I shouldn't have, I turned around to him and told him to shut the fuck up before I pop him in the moth. He's only 9/10yrs old and probably doesn't even KNOW what lesbian means really, but the kid had been pissing me off all morning. I walked away after getting my burger looking for the kids parents to bitch them out for their kids disrespect. Found them and complained. Every time I complain about the kid, they think its a fucking joke. So I said if he doesn't stop I'm taking it to management, and they already have 2 infractions a 3rd that serious would mean eviction. The dad apologized and was like "Im sorry, I heard and Im sorry" and I was gonna say "Well if you heard why the fuck didnt you do anything dipshit" but didnt want to cause a scene in front of hundreds of kids so i said "Get control of your kid or else".

I walked away and noticed (well i noticed before but i was busy) that Sandra was nowhere to be found and I was like "Fuck" and i knew I was up shits creek already....She has PTSD, Anxiety and other issues and big crowds -- not fun for her. So I went over and asked a friend of they saw her - they didn't. I went to walk away and there was a ditch I didn't see and WHAM! twisted my ankle (almost broke it if i didnt catch myself breifly) and face first on the ground. Searing pain in my ankle and knee (that i landed on) and some lady walked up and tried "helping" me by moving the foot. I almost yelled at her not to touch it. I apologized and thanked her later but that was not freakin smart of her. I appreciate the gesture but moving a possible break (its was only a sprain but still....) was not very wise.

So I hobble home to a pissed off girlfriend. Long story that I have no energy to write about right now. No worries though we're all good and happy again.

Earlier that day I was goofing off doing the carlton dance and then the stevie wonder head wave dance thing.... and WHAM! banged my head into the BRICK door way :s

Yeah so by 6pm I was in intense pain in my ankle AND head.Then accidentally when my gf was getting up from cuddling with me, elbow WHAM! in the head where my already goose egg was forming :s


Now this morning sitting at my desk, I whack my elbow off my desk.


I guess I'm a hazard walking, dancing AND sitting.

Fack!

LOL


Oh and I finally got around to talk to her after it all gone down and we talked about what happened at the BBQ and some stuff in general. Both a little hurt with the conversation but it was stuff that needed to be talked about and worked out and we did.

She is slowly opening up to me and I to her and I am so proud of both of us for doing so.

This opening up will either bring us closer or pry us apart, and so far it seems like its bringing us together.


Now this headache MUST go

I might take some Tylenol or Aspirin and take a nap.


My gf went home for a little bit but is coming back later today :D


We had a talk a couple days ago about how if we're still going good and strong next summer (summer 2012) after dating over a year that we would look into moving in together.

Which reminds me, my court agreement ends shortly after that. Its valid until my daughter turns 13 which is Dec 2012. Then she is free to live where she wants. She tells me all the time she wants to live with me once she's done grade 8 which is 6mos after her 13th birthday. Technically she can choose to move here at any time as long as its a true want and not something because she's mad or whatnot at her dad or family in Toronto or something trivial but she likes her school and wants to end it there and not have to start a new school for only 2yrs.
We'll see.

I wish it was July 2012 because I have just this week have seen 4 homes for a good price. FULL 3 story homes detached and nice size land and house for $800+/mo

Well, we shall see. Whatever will be will be.

I'm off to bed for now. I'm in so much pain.

I am awake and cleaning to keep my mind for wondering. Listening to some tunes by Vincent Gallo. Buffalo 66 is an ingenues movie. I gotta say sometimes I feel like Billy Brown. I am not sure what today bring for me. I think today I am just going to take it as it comes. God i really miss smoking pot especially on Sundays. Just so relaxing, and the day goes by so slow. I wanna finish getting through this benzo crap first, and get my anxiety back in check before i starting doing that again tho. Its been eight months of being sober I really miss Miss Mary-Jane. I have come to realize that is really the thing i need to let go with. One day again we will come together. As for the rest of the day lets see where it

"There is only forward"

Sometimes he frustrates the heck out of me! He's spending the weekend here but since he doesn't sleep much during the week all he wants to do is sleep when he's here. And I don't like going to bed at 1 am and waking up at noon. I can't sleep that much! And usually he just wants to party nonstop, sometimes til like way too early in the morning, when I can barely function, and I don't want to do that many drugs! I don't like hallucinating due to lack of sleep. Then we have to sleep for like ten hours.

I love parties BUT if we get there at 10 pm, I don't want to stay til 7 am because I will get tired around like 3 or something. I dunno.

Tonight is the first night we aren't sleeping at the same time. I'm not tired because we slept til noon today and I'm not used to going to bed this early plus I was super pumped and expecting us to do something, I dunno what.

It's weird though, like I feel like I'm tired at normal times. Sometimes he wants to go to bed at 9 pm and other times he wants to stay up all night and sleep at 7 am. I like normal times better - like every day 2 am or something. I can't stand him changing and it's always HE gets to go to bed when HE wants.

We like to cuddle and sleep together but I can't stay still (ADD kinda thing) and so if I'm not tired it is so hard to sleep! Now he's lying in bed and I'm like fuck it I'm not wasting time in bed! It is boring to lie there.

Especially when we won't have sex because he never seems to want it anymore

Like we have sex every other weekend, that's all. Urggg.

And he blames everything on me!! Like whenever he gets mad, it's always my fault. And I'm tired of it! He makes a mess in the kitchen or something and he's just like "fuck [myname] fuck" even if I wasn't near it. I'm just like whatever and I leave. He knows AFTER that it wasn't my fault but DURING he always blames it on me!

UGH ugh ugh.

1. Have you ever done drugs?(marijuana counts!) Yes
2. How many? 5
3. Would you ever try Heroin? No
4. When you smoke weed, how many hits do you need before you're high? I don't smoke weed
5. You you buy your drugs or rely on others like a freeloader? Buy
6. Have you ever snorted anything? If so, what? speed, coke, mdma, benzos
7. Do you do drugs often? yes
8. Have you ever abused perscription medication? yes
9. Have you ever abused cough syrup? no
10. Mushrooms? no
11. Acid? no
12. Meth? yes
13. Inhalants? no
14. Would you consider yourself a druggie? yes
15. A pothead? no
16. Have you ever gottne caught? yes


Find your favorite survey or quiz on SurveyMachine!
http://www.survey-machine.com/

%)

1. Have you ever done drugs?(marijuana counts!) Yes
2. How many? 5
3. Would you ever try Heroin? No
4. When you smoke weed, how many hits do you need before you're high? I don't smoke weed
5. You you buy your drugs or rely on others like a freeloader? Buy
6. Have you ever snorted anything? If so, what? speed, coke, mdma, benzos
7. Do you do drugs often? yes
8. Have you ever abused perscription medication? yes
9. Have you ever abused cough syrup? no
10. Mushrooms? no
11. Acid? no
12. Meth? yes
13. Inhalants? no
14. Would you consider yourself a druggie? yes
15. A pothead? no
16. Have you ever gottne caught? yes


Find your favorite survey or quiz on SurveyMachine!
http://www.survey-machine.com/

%)

It was so FUN. Brittney is a sweetheart. Nothing happened, I am really glad too. As soon as I got their, who ex bf texted her [my "best" friend] and said to tell her he said wussup. Haha yeah i get the picture.

Anyway, she looked really pretty. She is little taller than me, but it is ok. We just talked about art and music and stuff. I showed her some progessive house that really impressed her. She is really into skillex and other dubstep, so I tried to show her about some dnb so she will know where dubstep got it's roots. She immediately said she didn't like dnb, but when I put some on, I could see her dancing and trying to hide it.

She wants me to paint her a picture. We almost bought some canvas but decided to wait. I am suppose to paint her some magic mushrooms, so it will be a fun challenge.



We went and ate at Cicis. There was a really gorgeous and flirty girl working there. I remembered readying in SLR forum about talking to strangers. Well I did it. It was actually quite easy. Brittney looked jealous, which surprised me. I went up to her and asked her what her name was. She told me, and I asked if she wanted to chill sometime. She showed me her ring, was really shiny. She was really sweet though and I told her I was new to the area and we talked a bit. I left feeling confident.
\

anyways, I gave brittney a hug and got a ride home and here I am. Very satisfying day, feel 100 times better.

love you, bluelight.

pce

I know I am. I'm finally admitting it.

Some days I hate you. Most of the time I miss you, even when I'm sitting around thinking about how I allowed your fucked up ways to infiltrate my life, how I let you take advantage of me, leave me stranded, only to have you disappear on me. I still randomly cry over you. I don't know why because I was miserable when you were here. But every day I miss you. Every day my heart breaks all over again when I wake up and realize you're not here, don't know where you are, don't know if you are alive or dead.

How could I care for someone who so blatantly didn't care for me, ran me over emotionally, made a fool of me, dicked me around, lied to me, got me arrested, consistently put me in harm's way, would have left me to die if I OD'd, took my money and bailed.

The most fucked up part is I think I'm most angry at you because you gave me heroin then took it away. I'm drunk and on benzos; it's all I can do to drown you out, drown out the ache of the craving, drown out thoughts of what I've done and what I might do now. I'm scared because I'm not scared. You killed what was left of me. And now I'm gone, with this black hole inside that only needs to be filled with you.

I'm angry because I truly believed in you. Trusted you. Risked my life for you. Only to have you leave me with an addiction I'm now alone in and can do nothing to satisfy.

I saw something in your eyes, something that haunts me. It is something that hurts so bad because I saw who you could have been, who you maybe once were. But it is who you no longer are.

P.S. You owe me 600 bux worth of dope, asshole.

Well how is everyone doing? I could be better. Told my psych social worker today that I've been bored... he thought I might have become manic, but the far opposite (even tho I've been using speed again, which hardly anyone knows. It doesn't tweak me out as it used to, which is good I guess anyway.)

My social worker said it's cuz I am getting used to a "normal" life again, not involving full-time gogo dancing I did for over two years, or modeling nudies, or high-end escorting I did for a couple months. He doesn't really know about all that, but he figures my life used to be a lot different. But as crazy as it was, it was more fulfilling (once I quit the dangerous stuff) than my life is boring now. I keep saying how much of a rut I am in, but I can't do much to leave it. I'm under lock and key where I live and I am not allowed to go anywhere myself except a few people, and then I have a midnight curfew. AND I AM 34.

So I just miss the good, free, real times of my life that I had for so long, and sucks how just a couple mess-ups will fuck it all up and set you back.


I'm not blaming this on drugs or alcohol cuz my fuck-ups were done sober, believe it or not. They happened because I was naieve and broke after college and in desperate need for money, and excitement. Unfortunately, that led to the other downfalls.

I've been using speed again for over a week now, and weirdly I am sleeping MUCH better, focusing MUCH better, spending a lot less money, and not trying to go out and be socially crazy. Like I used to. Still, I am really doing this to lose all that weight I gained from the psych meds they had me on. I still don't like the HIGH of speed... the jittery, the tightness and spasming of muscles, the tenseness.... maybe it's the quality of my stuff, or maybe my body has just changed how it reacts. In any case, I'm glad it's not going to get out of hand like it had before.

I am dreaming of independence, just being able to have my own place and car and job and a boyfriend or dates who aren't stopped because I live at home, with no car and no job and a messed-up recent history (not like I tell everyone that, but people find shit out.)

Anyway, I'm off to bed. i hope everyone is OK! %)

Woke up today feeling a bit more normal but still have that nasty feeling creeping in the background, but on a better note got to jam some tunes yesterday. We really weren't in tune so much but i guess everyday can't be perfect. Playing guitar is probably one of the things i really gave up on that i loved so much since i got into to stupid pills. I just lost my ambition to play started and started doubting myself on how i was playing. I have always been a bit of a negative thinker, but i have used it to my advantage to create song and write these crazy quotes and such i used to write all the time. I never let the negativity run my life. I was just able to turn it on and off as i please, but after getting in to benzos things just sunk to the lowest place i could ever be at. I am still pretty depressed right now but i am trying like i hell to fight it. Feeling like your stuck is the hardest part, but i really do try to push on. Its just so much harder now. It seems like the more the symptoms clear up the less depressed it become. The hard part is not thinking about tho. Its always on my mind

Hello everyone!! Im new at this so can you bare with me please? I am a 29 year old female. Here recently i had been an everyday pot smoker! But for some reason now after 14 years of smoking marijuana I am experiencing real bad Anxiety/Panic Attacks!! Although some of them are less severe than others there still scary none the less!! I was wondering if anyone can help explain why this is happening to me? I mean just now after 14 years really??? Im so confused !!! Most people say it is a relaxer for them! It used to be that for me But now its acting as a depression drug!! Stimulant drug use does not cause these effects!! I do take pysch meds for depression and bi- polar and anxiety like Neurontin and prozac and valium but Stimulant drugs help more than the anti depression crap!! Any comments or thoughts would be most appreciated! Please NO critics or A-holes please!! Thanks for your time and help Could i have been mis diagnosed??

What a beautiful face, what a wonderful smile, oh - what a glorious soul, oh- what a wonderful love....oh baby you're the one for me, you're perfect in my eyes, you're the fire that lights my soul, the strength that keeps me going on. Oh, yeah baby, I hope this lasts forever...

As society advances, humans start needing technology to survive only because we've molded our culture to be that way. It's a bit like survival of the fittest - whoever has the most toys and most advanced technologies are today's idols, the most popular kids in school, the most cutting-edge and trendy, whatever... you get the point. They've evolved into the Alphas of our culture.

Think about it - who has the most advanced technology than anyone in this world? The world's leaders do, of course. And you don't get much more "Alpha" than the President of the United States, the militaries, the dictators, and the royalties in this world. Each country's leader employs themselves and their military with the best technology available. The next step below them are the celebrities, CEO's, and other high-ranking members of society. They don't have the best technologies available per se, but they do have more advanced technology than what is available to the general public. Customized security systems, the latest phones or iWhatevers. Next on the social ladder we have the Upper Class. Not quite the best technology, but the best that's available to the "little" people - definitely the trendiest. Right below them we have the middle class and working class. The middle class might not have the trendiest of everything right away, but you can be sure it will find it's way into those households a few months to a year later when it falls into their price range. They usually own houses and have basic security systems - fire alarm, burglar alarms, etc. Then you have the working class, then the poor. I'm sure you know what I'm getting at.

In short, the lower you go down the ladder, the less technology becomes available to you.

And those countries, cultures, and even people who aren't technologically advanced, or at least advancing? They're hardly on our radar, if at all. I believe the last tribe of some sort of primitive language died recently. Internet, phones, and social networking have become our prime means of communicating. And when you cut off those, you also severely cut off all of your interaction with most of the people around you. People need recognition and outside connection to survive. If they can't adapt and keep up with their surroundings, they can't get that... and so they die out, one by one. It all comes back to Darwinism. Survival of the fittest.

So I was looking at some pictures of my family and I ran across some of my Grandma. She was a very special lady and I miss her a lot. When I was growing up I lived just a mile down the street so I always saw her. I t was also a good thing she lived close because I would get kicked out of the house by my mother (she was bipolar and kind of did crazy shit sometimes). So my Grandma raised me, just as much, if not more than my parents. She also always told me I was her favorite grandchild. I thought she told all 20 of us grandchildren until I went to the funeral and my older cousins told me how my Grandma told everyone I was her favorite. I have a lot of regrets. I wish my grandmother was able to see me sober. She probably never did, only when I was growing up. There is also a lot I want to tell her. I want to tell her how much she meant to me. How much I love her. How much she made me such a good man to woman. I believe in respecting womanhood. They should be loved and respected, never hurt them and give them tons and tons of love. This is about all can write right now, I miss her too much.

CONFESSIONS SURVEY

Do you love you ex?:
Yes

What did you last cry over?:
My dog dying

What's the last mistake you made?:
Went to jail

Who was the last person you said I love you to?:
My dog

Who last slept in your bed?:
my dog

Were you with them?:
yes

Where do you want to be?:
in love

Who do you want to be with?:
someone I\'m in love with

Do you honestly love your friends?:
some of them

Who can always make you happy?:
no one

Who do you love to talk to the most?:
no one

Who hates you?:
I dunno

Who do you hate?:
my stalker

What are you doing right now?:
drugs

What are you talents?:
singing, writng, modeling, photography

How often do you cry?:
not as much as I used to

What did you do last night?:
internet

Would you ever go back out with an ex?:
yes

Have you ever used a condom?:
yes

Are you a virgin?:
no

Is your boyfriend/Girlfriend a virgin?:
N/A

What's the last movie you watched?:
Chicago

Ever been in true love?:
Yes

Ever smoked?:
No

Done drugs?:
Yes

Gotten high?:
Yes

Ever gone running?:
Yes

How much do you weigh?:
119

How tall are you?:
5\'5\"

Gone skinny dipping?:
yes

Played strip poker?:
no

Gone streaking?:
no

Given a lap dance?:
yes

Made-out?:
yes

Rolled on the ground w/ the opposite sex?:
yes

Bungie Jumped?:
no

Sang Kareokee?:
yes

Been wet with your clothes on?:
yes

Seen the opposite sex naked?:
yes

Made fun of a fat person?:
yes

Laughed at somone?:
yes

Looked at someone funny?:
yes

have you had
?

Been touched by the same sex?:
yes

Ever been Horney?:
yes

Looked at porn?:
yes

Own any thongs?:
yes

Touched a genital of the other sex?:
yes

Thought about sex?:
yes

Had a
?

Favorite animal?:
dog

Least favorite animal?:
N/A

Most missed Memory?:
My ex

http://www.funsurveys.net/view-survey.php?id=406

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? yeah, i prefer to avoid it in the future
2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? yes. and i hold my breath. its not really a really good combo
3. When's the last time you've been sledding? thanksgiving in seattle
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? alone. i am a bed hog
5. Do you believe in ghosts? nope
6. Do you consider yourself creative? not in the slightest
7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife? never cared enough to pay attention to the facts
8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? aniston
9. Do you stay friends with your ex's? never really had one
10. Do you know how to play poker? yup
11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? maybe? tho i am pretty sure i need baby naps once in awhile
12. What's your favorite commercial? i skip them
13. What are you allergic to? horses and penicillin
14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights? no, i am pretty law abiding not matter what
15. Have you ever had a Choco Taco? they are yucky
16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees? cleve indians
17. Have you ever been Ice Skating? many times
18. How often do you remember your dreams? rather often
19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? in college?
20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles? yes
21. What's the one thing on your mind now? sleeping
22. Do you believe in love at first sight? nope.
23. Do you put salt on a turkey dinner? i brine thing in salt and several other spices. then its wrapped in bacon...
24. Do you always wear your seat belt? more or less
25. What cell service do you use? sprint
26. Do you like sushi? yummy!
27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident? prolly
28. What do you wear to bed? pajama pants and tshirt
29. Been caught stealing? no, i am rather well behaved
30. Do you pee in the pool? maybe when i was little
31. Do you truly hate anyone? yes
32. Bluegrass or Rap? usually bluegrass
33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be? trent resnor of NIN
34. Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole? almond milk
35. What food do you find disgusting? most cheese unless it is served with something else
36. Windows or Macintosh? ubuntu
37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" i like the game "never ever have i ever..."
38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back? i try not to
39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? many times
40. Have you ever sung in-front of the mirror? nope

1. First of all, r u a guy or a girl? girl
2. what is your sexual organ's name? i don't have one actually
3. do you masturbate? yes
4. how many times per day do u masturbate? once? its not really a daily thing
5. per week? a couple times. i don't really keep track.
6. do you fantasize while you masturbate? yeah, otherwise it wouldn't really do anything
7. if so, what do you fantasize about? bdsm related stuff mostly
8. do you use sex toys while masturbating? not usually.
9. do you use lubricants of anykind (handlotion, spit, etc.)? don't really need it since i am girl
15. do you watch porn or look at pornographic content? yuppers
16. do you get wet? well yeah, there would not really be a point to masturbate if i wasn't turned on
17. does it feel better before, during, or after you orgasm? umm, during and after? if i felt better before why would i bother with doing anything in the first place
18. do you make noises? no when i masturbate
19. if so, how loud? i am rather quiet
20. do you do it home alone or with other people in the house? generally alone
21. have you ever been caught doing it? actually no.
22. have you ever done it in front of someone of the opposite sex? yes
23. have you ever done it in front of someone of the same sex? nope

girls only

29. do you rub your boobies while you do it? not usually
30. how long do your orgasms last? they are kinda quick but the afterglow is nice
31. how long does it take to reach an orgasm? around 10 min
32. do you keep going after you reach orgasm? sometimes.
33. whats the longest youve ever done it? uh, an hour maybe? i tend to get bored

PART TWO!


1. If you had a choice as to how often you would have sex, how often would it be? i pretty much have sex when i want
2. Do you masturbate? i think that was covered above
3. Have you ever masturbated for your partner while they sat and watched? yes
4. Have you ever wanted to watch your partner masturbate? yup
5. Have you ever had a partner masturbate for you while you sat and watched? yes
6. When do you like to watch pornography? i like some porn, like the stuff on kink.com... i like soft core porn you see on cinemax cause it makes me giggle... normal porn bores me tho
7. Have you ever used sex toys? yes. plenty of them
8. Have you ever stripped for your partner? yes. i've done it in strip club too (i wasn't working there either)
9. Have you ever video taped yourself having sex? yes. it prolly shouldn't have been labelled ______ sex cause my husband's roommate found it once
10. What type of picture would you prefer to take for your partner? i take all kinds of pics
11. Have you ever had sex with more than one partner in the same day? nope
12. Do you like to receive oral sex? actually no. i find it boring
14. Do you like to give oral sex? on occasion. i like to bite, that does not go well
15. Would you let your partner cum in your face? doesn't bother me at all
16. Have you ever let your partner cum in your mouth? again, i have no issue with it
17. Have you ever swallowed his/her cum? yup. its easier clean up
21. While having sex, would you like having your partner stick his/her finger in your ass? if he wanted to
23. Would you let your partner toss your salad (eat your ass out)? if he wanted to. i prolly would not get much from it tho
25. Have you ever played fantasy with your partner? what an oddly worded question, yes
26. Have you or your partner ever pretended to be a vampire? lol, nope
27. Have you or your partner ever cross dressed and had sex? crossdressed - yes... sex while dressed like a boy - no
28. Have you or your partner ever shaved off all your pubic hair? i wax
29. How do you prefer your partner's pubic hair? well trimmed
30. Have you or your partner ever involved a fruit or vegetable in sex? no, i like to eat food
31. Have you ever had phone sex? yup
38. Have you ever had a one night stand? nope. and what happened to 32-37?
39. Have you ever had sex on the first date? nope. but i have been with my husband since high school
40. Have you ever had sex in public? yes, its rather fun
41. Have you ever given your partner your underwear as a souvenir? no, i find that strange
42. Have you ever kept your partner's underwear as a souvenir? no
43. Which pair of underwear would you give him/her? none
44. Have you ever had a threesome? no but i think it would be fun
45. What kind of threesome would you prefer? does not matter to me
48. Have you ever had sex in the same room with another couple who was also having sex? yeah, that is what happens when you share hotel rooms
49. Have you ever switched partners while having sex? nope
51. Do you like to be spanked? yup
52. How do you like to be spanked? hard?
53. Do you like spanking your partner? yeah
54. Do you like having your hair pulled by your partner? yeah
55. Do you like to pull your partner's hair during sex? his hair is too short
58. Have you ever done a heavy sadomasochistic (S&M) session with your partner? yeah
59. Have you ever played in a public dungeon with your partner? yeah, altho i went a friend not my husband
60. Do you crave being in control of or being controlled by your partner? i like to switch


PART THREE!
1. Are you in love? yuppers
2. Have you ever been in love? well yeah
3. Are you sexually active? yeah
5. How well do love and sex go together? rather well
6. Would you ever give or receive oral sex in a random hookup? if i randomly hooked up with someone i suppose i would
7. Do you even do random hookups? nope
11. Do you believe in waiting till you are married to have sex? no, i think it puts too much pressure on the wedding night if you wait
14. Is it really better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? yeah
15. Has anyone ever used a pickup line on you? the best was when someone started throwing popcorn at me because "i was too hot to hit on"
16. Do you like bad boys? yup
17. What's your favourite toy(s) if you use them? does bondage tape count? i like it because it has lots of different uses
18. Have you ever had a crush on a teacher? prolly, i don't remember
19. Ever been hit on by a teacher? i don't think so
20. Do you joke about sex a lot? i have a pretty dirty mind and i like to make comments that sound sexual
21. Can you relate anything to sex? i am sure i could if i tried
22. When was the last time you got some? a few days ago
23. Is there someone you're longing to be with, right this very second? i miss my friends on ohio and seattle, but i don't want to sleep with any of them
24. So what's your ideal romantic date? i like steak. a lot.
25. If you liked someone who asked you out, but that person didn't believe in sex before marriage, would you forget about them? i am married. but if i liked the person, i don't think i would care
26. Does someone's social status/reputation have an effect on whether you would say yes or no if they asked you out? not in the slightest
27. Would you date someone who would be likely to get you in trouble? i am pretty sure that would be my husband
28. Do you seek excitement in your love life? well yes
32. Ever walk in on your parents having sex? no, my parents actually sleep in separate rooms/houses
33. Do you carry condoms even if you never end up using them? nope, i have no need for them

I haven't been smoking a lot lately, restrictions on certain things ya know?

Me and my room mate had a bass war with the neighbor today. Its a long story, but basically, he comes out belligerent. Fuck this, fuck that. Was epic.

Damn i am still having trouble typing in the dark. Im drunk roo.

Anbyways, the neighbor was all like bangin on our door like she was tha police. Shes abusing us, One time the bass was BAREKLY up.

We won today. after my room mate got done arguing with t hem he was like "piss off!" and started punching the wall. The cops showed up later and started asking him a lot of questions "whats your birthday" and he was like "I dont feel comfortbale telling you that, I wanna make a complaint"

"yeah im drunk!!"

shit, its our house, were not oin publice, fuck off

I wpin%)%)

[ edit : so stoned, underground hiphop + weed = zen ]%)

Sometimes I get sick of dealing with drugs and illness and family and lack of money and loneliness... so I take a bunch of dumb surveys and post them on my sites and love it. Sometimes others like taking them too. So I might bore you, but I might not. here's a pretty simple one.


1. Have you ever been searched by the cops?

Yes



2. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters?

Yes



3. When's the last time you've been sledding?

Never



4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone?

Hopefully with someone I want to be with.



5. Do you believe in ghosts?

Maybe.



6. Do you consider yourself creative?

Yes.



7. Do you think O.J. killed his wife?

Yes.



8. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie?

Aniston.



9. Do you stay friends with your ex's?

Yes.



10. Do you know how to play poker?

Nope.



11. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Yup.



12. What's your favorite commercial?

The flash mob cell phone commercial.



13. What are you allergic to?

Cashews and pistachios



14. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around do you run red lights?

NO.



15. Have you ever had a Choco Taco?

Yes.



16. Boston Red Sox or New York Yankees?

Sox.



17. Have you ever been Ice Skating?

Yes.



18. How often do you remember your dreams?

Always.



19. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried?

Years ago.



20. Can you name 5 songs by The Beatles?

No but I know them.



21. What's the one thing on your mind now?

Being bored.



22. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Sorta.



23. Do you put salt on a turkey dinner?

No.



24. Do you always wear your seat belt?

Yes.



25. What cell service do you use?

Boost Mobile.



26. Do you like sushi?

YES.



27. Have you ever narrowly avoided a fatal accident?

YES.



28. What do you wear to bed?

Sweats.



29. Been caught stealing?

No.



30. Do you pee in the pool?

No.



31. Do you truly hate anyone?

Yes.



32. Bluegrass or Rap?

Bluegrass.



33. If you could sleep with one famous person, who would it be?

I can't even sleep with anyone now.



34. Skim, 1%, 2%, or whole?

2%



35. What food do you find disgusting?

Chinese tripe.



36. Windows or Macintosh?

Windows.



37. Did you ever play, "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours"

I'm sure I did.



38. Have you ever made fun of your friends behind their back?

Sometimes.



39. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew?

Yes.



40. Have you ever sung in-front of the mirror?

Always.

Joysa, as I have noted, comes from a very poor family. Her father delivers fish food to off shore fish farms in a motorised skiff but is only getting one day of work a week now. Her only sibling, a brother 21 years old, refuses to work. Her mother, obese, has never worked a day in her life. She got pregnant at 14 and ran away with Joysa's father, Joey. Her father's family are salt of the earth. Typical peasant stock with her paternal grandparents still living in a nipa, as the one room bamboo framed and palm leaf thatched huts are known. Her maternal family though? Her grandfather, an ethnic Kapampangan died before Joysa was born but her grandmother is alive and kicking. The old lady is a gambling addict and is, in local parlance, "moneyhungry."

When her grandmother found about me it was like a cash register ringing up a sale, Cha-Ching! The old windbag lives with 2 of her daughters in Angeles City, one of the most disgusting cities in Southeast Asia. Until the early 1990s the biggest American military base outside of the United States was a few kilometers from Angeles, Clark Airbase, with Subic Bay, the American Navy base an hour away. Angeles became a modern day Sodom and Gommorah where a 5 Dollar Bill bought you a blowjob from a nubile 15 year old while her mother performed a live sex act with household pets and assorted kitchen utensils.

Mark this as yet another huge difference between American and Israeli Military Cultures. In Israel we are a citizen's army, everybody serves. Therefore serving in the Israeli Defense Forces is much like living in one's hometown. Noone goes crazy, going to titty bars and getting into drunken brawls. Americans though? The bases closed nearly 20 years ago and only now the last of the huge orphanges that dealt with the Ameriasian offal that the Yanks left behind is ready to close its doors. Still, all over Angeles one sees a melange of different races thanks to dear old Uncle Sam and its wink-wink look the other way laissez faire attitude towards drunken carousing and liberal sexual mores, as long as its heterosexual anyway.

After the Americans were booted (they didn't leave voluntarily though the eruption of Mount Pinatubo did hasten their departure) many thought that Angeles would fold. To the contrary it became the number one Sexual Tourism destination worldwide. Until now I refuse to fly into Clark Airport, part of the airfield having been converted into an international airport. The thought of being chatted up by lecherous senior citizens from Wales or Switzerland simply makes me want to vomit.

I mean, I am not a puritan by any means, having fathered 7 children by 4 different women, but I at least like to imagine that my sexual partner is actually attracted to me. These Western men, obese, balding and very sweaty are bedding gorgeous 20 year olds for the cost of a dinner at McDonalds. While the girl is making a pretty penny by Filipino standards she surely isn't thinking of that wrinkled organ splayed across her face. Perhaps she is imagining her younger siblings being able to eat two meals a day instead of just one. Perhaps she is caught up in revelry of the moment imagining how good she will feel when her father is finally able to buy blood pressure medication. Whatever she is feeling though, it has nothing to do with the Western man in front of her.

Joysa's own aunt had gone to Japan as a 19 year old to work as an "Entertainer." Of course the only thing she entertained were one eyed wiggly worms but hey, it is still entertainment, right? Filipinos, even in the cyber age are incredibly naïve and gullible people. This isn't a dig at them, I find those attributes endearing most of the time. However...take Joysa for example; as most Filipinos do she had dreamed of working overseas in order to help her parents. Working since graduating from high school she was able to obtain her passport and began going to the hundreds of agencies that specialise in exporting Filipino labour. She and her girlfriend had decided Japan was the place for them. Despite Japan raping the nation in WWII Filipinos today hold Japan, its culture, and to a lesser extent its people in very high esteem. Most agencies specialising in Japan only deal with women who are sent to work as..."Entertainers." Joysa, like so many Filipinas asked what that job description would entail. The answer? Singling and dancing, like a chorus girl. When Joysa's aunt, who herself had done that very same job, discovered Joysa's intention she slapped her and called her a stupid little girl.

Joysa couldn't understand then but had surmised afterwards that her aunt had suffered greatly. I asked Joysa, after learning about this, if she had any training or relevant experience in singing or dancing, of course she hadn't. Had she had any theater experience? Of course not. So I asked her, genuinely curious, why in the world she had imagined that they would hire her as a chorus girl when she had absolutely no experience. She looked uncomfortable. I asked her, did the agency have you audition? Sing even a few lines? She offered that she had been young and stupid. I corrected her, young but not stupid at all. Her government co-operates in whoring its own youth. People like her aunt never discuss their actual experiences. All people see is a girl returning from Japan with enough money to build a real house and start a business having put their younger siblings through school. There is nothing stupid about wanting to be successful.

After she told me of another experience. A few classmates from high school had taken jobs in Malaysia, supposedly to work as maids in a Kuala Lampur hotel. Joysa had been invited to go but declined because she had just landed her current job, which by Philippine standards is somewhat desirable. Upon arrival in Malaysia the "supervisor" took all her friend's identification including her passport. She was then taking to her "living quarters," a dingy cellar in a non-descript slum. On her first night there, mere hours after landing, she was ordered to service a customer. The girl had never had a boyfriend and certainly didn't sign up to be a whore. The "owner" decided she needed to be educated and so he had three of his stand over men gang rape her. She told this to Joysa after breaking down under Joysa's repetitive questions about her "job duties," Joysa was obviously still considering going overseas. The classmate worked 3 years without a single day off in order to earn her "purchase price" and therefore the option to leave. She had a brother wire her airfare home and the Immigration fees since she had long overstayed her visa.

At that point Joysa fully understood why her aunt had reacted the way that she did. Today the aunt lives in Angeles. She is supported as the mistress of a middle class Japanese man in his 70s. Her "patron" lives in Tokyo and visits perhaps once every two years and yet he pays her bills and provides for all her needs. Joysa's grandmother, the mother of this woman, sees this as a great thing. This is the Angeles City mindset.

This is one of the few, rare times I actually had the motivation to write. Since this IS a blog and not other forum posting, it pisses me off that both BL and yahoo limit the amount I can write and I spend the time only to for this dumb ass message saying my post is too long. BL and Yahoo at one time were NOT imposing a limit as to how long or shrt a post we can write in our journal. WTF? So what? Its MY journal and no one has to read it, nor am I trying to impose long ass posts that are the regular forums. This is a main reason I dont bother blogging anymore. Since Im limited to a Galaxy Tab,which is cool, but trying to cut it so I can continue it in parts is almost impossible, because unlike a regular PC where its easy to use a mouse to cut a post and paste other parts to new posts, I cant highlight all thetext I want without the screen getting bigger or smaller, the screen rolls with my touching it, I finally said fuck it and gave up. I will have to use an email draft on my yahoo mail acct just to keep a copy of this fucking blog. Its been bugging me a long time, I just never said anything. I wish BL would let us have blogs as long or short as we like, the way it had ben before these damn upgrades.