Confliction...

I know it's best she has her own place as to not rush anything, we need to take it slow and easy but after having her here living with me in my home for a month, I really miss her being here. Though the kiddo is here, I still feel quite alone.

I had the chance to have her move in with me and I myself made the choice to take it slow, which in my head I know is right but everything else is screaming for her to come back.

It's stupid, she lives down the street from me, a 10 minute walk at most.

When you're engulfed in the person that you are so deeply in love with and is a part of your world, it's hard to let them go....even such a little distance.

We both were like, it's almost like we lived together and now she's leaving. She's not leaving, just in her own space but its still hard for me.

I'm insecure and paranoid, not that she'll cheat, I know she won't but in my head I'm thinking what if she enjoys being alone a little too much. What if she slowly stops coming around until I just don't see her anymore. Completely ridiculous but.... yeah its me.

I miss the company and conversation and since she's not online a lot, its hard, more so when I know she's so close. I can't even go see her. She lives in a student res and my kid is sleeping and even if not, he's too hyper for such a quiet house.

I'll be seeing her tomorrow but she's been sleeping with me in my bed all cuddled up to me for a month now. Now its only me in bed

When she first got the place earlier in the week she was like "Lets see how long we last before we need to be together all the time again".

I barely made it 5 minutes. I'm pathetic LOL

I guess i will have to deal with it, for at least till after Christmas. She said we'll talk about it in a year again but that's next August!

I dunno..... *sigh*

I just miss her a lot.

 

It's tough eh? Sometimes my bf and I will stay with each other for a while, not like a month, I don't think it's ever been over a week straight, but still. We lied a 10 min drive or 45 min bus ride away from each other and spent probably 4 nights together ... now that we have both moved we only see each other on weekends! I hate being alone at night
Can't wait til he's done school and hope he can move here so we can be together! :D

 

its hard going from all the time to chatting online and a couple days a week. Hopefully we're lucky enough to spend 3-4 days a week together instead of just weekends.

I barely slept last night, toss and turned and woke up every couple hours. Stupid cats didn't help by being noisy and started fighting at 3am.