a continuation...
Lovely has just turned 22 and was, when I met her, working 7 days a week in the cellphone shoppe, though on that particular day she was helping her mum cook for the party. Standing 5 feet and shapely, she had been petite enough at age 16 to win the village beauty title...at least I had thought that was what had led to her victory.
Despite my wealth of experience on Mindanao I am always discovering new things that leave me dumbfounded and scratching my head. It turns out that village beauty contests ate simply cash and carry affairs. Three days before the contest all contestants gather at the village basketball court-hu basketball being the national sport. There, male relatives guard a champagne goblet and solicit any available male, related or not, to dance with "their" girl...for a fee. The money is deposited in the glass and the man gets to dry hump the young lady- within reason naturally. The glass with the most money then determines the winner of the beauty contest. It didnt go over too well when I disgustedly told Lovely that in most countries this is called "Taxi Dancing," and is seen to be only slightly removed from prostitution. In fact, it is illegal in many parts of the US.
After "winning," the village contest committee then picks one of the contestants to then compete in the much larger municipal beauty contest. Winning at the village level has nothing to do with whether one is then chosen to go onto the municipal contest. As luck would have it, Lovely was in fact chosen to compete in that larger contest. Of course, having the village chief for a father may have been the deciding factor. In any event, Lovely refused to compete since, at 16, she had just began college.
Pressured into taking nursing by her mother and her eldest sister- the aforementioned fanily benefactor living in the US- she lodged in a rooming house with her second eldest sister, Jessa. Lovely however, had long dreamed of a degree in Hotel Management. Filipinas almost always read one of three university degrees:
A) Registered Nursing
B) Hotel and Resturant Management
C) Education
all with an eye on going abroad as more than 10% of the labour pool does. After finishing her first year Lovely was able to finally convince the family that Nursing was the wrong fit. Having wasted a year, she began reading Hotel and Resturant Management only to have her aforementioned American brother in law pull the plug when he forbade his wife- Lovely's eldest sister- to remit her salary home to her family in the Philippines. To avoid the imminent collapse of his marriage, the American vowed to continue paying Jessa's tuition, and vowed to continue Lovely's education upon Jessa's graduation. Jessa graduated later that same year but neither Lovely nor her two younger sisters were ever able to pursue a higher education. In a nation where cashiers must have a four year degree, this turn of events seriously challenged both Lovely and her family.
At age 19, to help her family, Lovely took a job at Dunkin Donuts (yes, they are here on Mindanao) where she worked 11 hours a day, six days a week, for the princely sum of P6,000 per month ($140). All but $20 went to her parents.
Although the American brother in law had vowed to provide emergency medical expences, he made no allowances for preventive and/or routine medical care. Just before turning 20, Lovely was stricken with phneumonia. Unable to afford medical care she finally collapsed at work. Because hospitals here will not provide medical treatment without a substantial downpayment, Lovely nearly died. In the end the family borrowed from loansharks and was able to get Lovely the medical care she so badly needed. After more than 30 days in a crowded hospital ward Lovely returned home for another seven weeks of convalescence. Although she was eventually able to return to her job at Dunkin Donuts, her health never fully recovered. Finally, just two weeks before I met her, she was forced to leave Dunkin Donuts when she missed ten days due to piir health.
Lovely had just had her 22nd birthday but like a large number of Filipinas her age, had never been in a relationship. Her world revolved that large house, her family, and the cellphone shoppe. She had however, just secured a passport and was beginning to make plans to join cousins working abroad in either Kuwait City, in Kuwait, or else in Abu Dhabi in the United Arab Emirates.
As the party began I found myself sitting on a chair, next to the sofa where Lovely was relaxing. Amid curious glances from both her family and Mario, Rizza's father, Lovely and I spent the next 11 hours deep in conversation. It is so cliche but it was as if we had known each other for many years. Suprising me greatly, she asked about Rizza. Unbeknownst to me, my failed marriage has been a fairly popular topic of conversation throughout Caraga, our region of Mindanao. What Rizza did, in abandoning her vows, is almost incomprehensible to most Bisaya.
I opened up to Lovely...I told her the entire story. Seeing I had a Blackberry ( I was still using a Blackberry at that point), Lovely demanded to see my wedding photos...from my Philippine Civil Ceremony. Realising it was futile to resist, I made my way to Rizza's mother's MySpace page, and allowed Lovely to look intently. Of course she wanted details of just why my marriage imploded. I explained about circumstances leading up to Rizza's running away to Cebu...things I cannot share here out of respect for Rizza's mother who has made it a point every so often, to remind me how painful Rizza's actions have been for her...and how some wounds have yet to heal.
to be continued...
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
