a continuation...
The Filipina dutifully kept sending her entire paycheck home as a remittance to her family on Mindanao. Aside from her father's token salary as Barangay Captain (Village Chief), and whatever illegal profits he could derive from that position, the remittances served as the family's sole source of income.
Not too long after building their palatial home the family opened up their cellphone store and at that point the American husband threw a wrench into the machinery when he ORDERED his wife to stop sending her check home. He instructed her to have the family send him an email on the fifth of every month with an itemised list of utiluty costs, after which he would remit the exact amount.
The husband then tightened the vice. Despite her having a job he forbade her from handeling any money. If she wanted to buy a snack she had to ask him and he would buy it for her. As things went from bad to worse the Filipina discovered that she was pregnant. Now 28, she excitedly told her 54 year old husband only to be told he didnt fancy being a father in his Golden Years.
The Filipina had hoped that the pregnancy would draw them closer. Instead, it almost tore them asunder as he angrily demanded that she abort the unborn child. There is almost nothing that can get the three disparate religio-ethnicities on Mindanao to agree...but abortion is one such issue. The practice is not only illegal in the Philppines, it is universally reviled as heinous, no better than murder, and to many, a good deal worse. The Filipina grew so desperate that she revealed her predicament to her inlaws, who in short order brought the husband to heel. As a peace offering, and at his family's "suggestion," he brought airline tickets and away they went, taking a vacation on Mindanao. The following year, 2011, their son was born.
For awhile everything was good, almost idyllic, at least until the novelty wore off. At that point the husband was laid off. When he told his wife that even the utility bills of her family were too much. Because of their son she had had to stop working and so now, according to him, they would only have their unemployment checks. It would be a long time before she learned that her hudband actually owned 8 houses and a vitamin distributorship...
Meanwhile, the family struggled on with their cellphone shop providing most of their daily needs. Unfortunately, the American's decision to renege on his financial commitment meant that all the siblings would now have to drop out of school. In the end the family took the attitude that if anything, while extremely frustrating, the American's change of heart- if that is what it in fact was-didn't leave them any worse off than they had been before he had entered their lives. In fact, his marriage to the eldest daughter had allowed the girl to emigrate to the US, thereby providing them the means with which to replace their bamboo thatched hut and construct their ostentatious home...even if they were now struggling to remain afloat within that home. This is the Filipino outlook, as much as one exists; the cup is NEVER half empty. Even if life has grabbed you tightly by the balls, smile, nod your head in affirmation, and carry on as only one can in a nation wherw $4.00 a day represents a middle class existence.
It was in this frame that I found the family as Mario, Maneses (Rizza's brother), and myself entered the family compound. The ubiqitous, gargantuan videoke machine that graces just about every Filipino party was running at full blast as some tipsy, cotton headed senior citizen did her best imitation of Mariah Carey. Up and down the street windows were shaking but very few- if any- minded. After all, virtually everyone in the village was at the party. The shop owner once again offered Mario a hearty greeting and ushered us into house itself where we were introduced to his immediate family...and it was there that I met Lovely.
English is one of two official languages in the Philippines, albeit in the form of a distinct, academically recognised dialect. A "service" is the family automobile, while a "batch" is a graduating class, and so it goes. Nowhere near as absurd as Japanese inflected English, the Filipino dialect, or "Filenglish," still leaves many native English speakers perplexed and bewildered. This curious dialect has also influenced the naming of children. One can easily meet a woman named "Shehoney," "Fullofgrace," or..."Lovely." Of the man's five daughters, Lovely might be considered the least attractive, given the Filipino conception of beauty. A woman with an hourglass figure is deemed less desirable than a skinny woman. A woman who is tall- and "tall" in the Philippines, at least where women are concerned- stands 5'6" or taller- is infinitely more attractive than one standing 5'0". Lovely would be seen as very attractive by Western standards, but here in the Philiipines her body type and her height render her plain at best.
To be continued...
The Filipina dutifully kept sending her entire paycheck home as a remittance to her family on Mindanao. Aside from her father's token salary as Barangay Captain (Village Chief), and whatever illegal profits he could derive from that position, the remittances served as the family's sole source of income.
Not too long after building their palatial home the family opened up their cellphone store and at that point the American husband threw a wrench into the machinery when he ORDERED his wife to stop sending her check home. He instructed her to have the family send him an email on the fifth of every month with an itemised list of utiluty costs, after which he would remit the exact amount.
The husband then tightened the vice. Despite her having a job he forbade her from handeling any money. If she wanted to buy a snack she had to ask him and he would buy it for her. As things went from bad to worse the Filipina discovered that she was pregnant. Now 28, she excitedly told her 54 year old husband only to be told he didnt fancy being a father in his Golden Years.
The Filipina had hoped that the pregnancy would draw them closer. Instead, it almost tore them asunder as he angrily demanded that she abort the unborn child. There is almost nothing that can get the three disparate religio-ethnicities on Mindanao to agree...but abortion is one such issue. The practice is not only illegal in the Philppines, it is universally reviled as heinous, no better than murder, and to many, a good deal worse. The Filipina grew so desperate that she revealed her predicament to her inlaws, who in short order brought the husband to heel. As a peace offering, and at his family's "suggestion," he brought airline tickets and away they went, taking a vacation on Mindanao. The following year, 2011, their son was born.
For awhile everything was good, almost idyllic, at least until the novelty wore off. At that point the husband was laid off. When he told his wife that even the utility bills of her family were too much. Because of their son she had had to stop working and so now, according to him, they would only have their unemployment checks. It would be a long time before she learned that her hudband actually owned 8 houses and a vitamin distributorship...
Meanwhile, the family struggled on with their cellphone shop providing most of their daily needs. Unfortunately, the American's decision to renege on his financial commitment meant that all the siblings would now have to drop out of school. In the end the family took the attitude that if anything, while extremely frustrating, the American's change of heart- if that is what it in fact was-didn't leave them any worse off than they had been before he had entered their lives. In fact, his marriage to the eldest daughter had allowed the girl to emigrate to the US, thereby providing them the means with which to replace their bamboo thatched hut and construct their ostentatious home...even if they were now struggling to remain afloat within that home. This is the Filipino outlook, as much as one exists; the cup is NEVER half empty. Even if life has grabbed you tightly by the balls, smile, nod your head in affirmation, and carry on as only one can in a nation wherw $4.00 a day represents a middle class existence.
It was in this frame that I found the family as Mario, Maneses (Rizza's brother), and myself entered the family compound. The ubiqitous, gargantuan videoke machine that graces just about every Filipino party was running at full blast as some tipsy, cotton headed senior citizen did her best imitation of Mariah Carey. Up and down the street windows were shaking but very few- if any- minded. After all, virtually everyone in the village was at the party. The shop owner once again offered Mario a hearty greeting and ushered us into house itself where we were introduced to his immediate family...and it was there that I met Lovely.
English is one of two official languages in the Philippines, albeit in the form of a distinct, academically recognised dialect. A "service" is the family automobile, while a "batch" is a graduating class, and so it goes. Nowhere near as absurd as Japanese inflected English, the Filipino dialect, or "Filenglish," still leaves many native English speakers perplexed and bewildered. This curious dialect has also influenced the naming of children. One can easily meet a woman named "Shehoney," "Fullofgrace," or..."Lovely." Of the man's five daughters, Lovely might be considered the least attractive, given the Filipino conception of beauty. A woman with an hourglass figure is deemed less desirable than a skinny woman. A woman who is tall- and "tall" in the Philippines, at least where women are concerned- stands 5'6" or taller- is infinitely more attractive than one standing 5'0". Lovely would be seen as very attractive by Western standards, but here in the Philiipines her body type and her height render her plain at best.
To be continued...
