I am just writin this down fresh when i just woke up becuz i dont want to forget.
I dreamed that i let a raccoon and a fox into the house. I said the fox was cute, like a little dog the size of a big cat. It had red fur. it was biting the raccoons neck and tryin to kill it.
Somebody killed the fox tho. i dont know how they got in my house or if our fox got outside but there was a group of british people and they killed it as part of them playing polo. I dont really know wat polo is but it here it was men standing in a lake. The took a giant stick thing and would hit a big 3 foot diameter floating inflatable thing shaped like a spinning top or a UFO and it had a weight attached to the bottom of it. They would take their stick and hit these giant things and they would float around the lake on top of the water, each one of them had brand names and sponsor names on it like sports brands n shit. they stood in their dressed up clothes in water up to their stomachs doin this. it moved fast.
somehow i found out they was the ones responsible that they had just killed the fox as the beginning of their polo game and thats the shit they did every time they had one.
I was there with my man and other people i dont know and i got real mad. I was gonna do somethin terrible to them, but then somethin happened.
Somehow there was a mask with the fox's eyes and nose and mouth part cut out, like if it got skinned. there had been somethin wrong with it, we was angry, cuz it was perfect still, after all the torturing it went thru before it died.
But then they changed it, somehow, it looked like it got fucked up, mauled, its little face reflected the suffering it had felt, and then somehow it became OK and we accepted this as the apology that they realized wat theey did was wrong.
and my man, somehow if he put the mask on it would take away the pain of the fox, so he took the mask and put it on his face, eyes in the eye holes nose in the nose hole, n somehow that did somethin magical and brought it back to life , or somehow made it ok again, i dont really know.
There was a big fight and a brawl where all the polo players and t heir wifes was all running and charging after me cuz i pushed a ball off one of their cars and it rolled in the water, I was beating down the women and they was all making weird aggressive sexual comments about how they are straight or gay, like "Ill beat your little straight ass" if they was gay, and if they was straight, they called me gay. shit like that. But I whupped em all, the whole gang of em.
i dont remember that part too good, but then all of a sudden we stepped inside a building, and it was like the war was off, me and my man was one of them now, now that he had put on the fox mask.
inside it was a christmas party on the top floor when it had just been june outside, but everyone was dressed up and drinkin champagne and shit. the carpet was red and green plaid. Me and my man was bein guided by one of the members of this, country club i guess.
But then down a wide set of stairs with a wood bannister there was cubicles. old fashioned kind, grimey ones that seemed very old. faded blue burlap cloth covered the squares that set up the little divided rooms. I was explaining to the guy why i didnt like their style, that i wasnt british and didnt understand their customs n traditions and hated hearing that song hes a jolly good fellow, and that killing the fox was cruel as hell. but i stopped and he went away suddenly when I seen this woman sitting at the cubicle.
she had a chair with a bamboo back and a big flat widescreen computer monitor with a picture of her in high resolution open in photoshop on the screen.
On her desk was boxes and boxes and boxes, rolodexes and file cards with phone numbers, like a old school office from the 80s. she had a desk phone and she was makin calls like crazy. My man somehow had huge money that she was tryin to invest for him but i dont know how we got there or knew her or why we would ever invest something, that aint the type of shit we ever would think about.
There was piles of files lettered alphabeticly around her and her desk and she made call after call, and i remember her sayin to my man, So n so wants you to do this one, but I aint lettin ya, its too good to be true ya know watimsayin?
Then I looked at her desk n her shabby blue cloth cubicle that was all stained, how she was surrounded by piles of files and names and numbers and was a stock trader, a banker, a high up woman, a girl with a serious job , that she had to devote her whole life to. and after all that, here she still was, sittin underground in a shitty set of cubicles.I said to her, How do you remember all these PEOPLE? And she didnt answer. I started cryin for her, thinkin how sad it was, how much pressure was on her life for her to succeed and perform and how she wasnt even gettin shhit for it.
Then i got bored of listenin to her make phone calls non stop so I seen the screen again, and it was moving. it was playin a movie now instead , the picture of her had came to life but i could tell it was her cuz she was sittin in the same bamboo chair.
It was her, eating chicken, the last chicken leg before the whole carcass was bare, and crying. There was another one and she kept eating it and the same thing when it was down to the bones she cried and cried like she couldnt bear the thought that she ate the whole chicken and now it was gone, like it was her friend, not like she was sad cuz she was on a diet and ate too much. It happened a few times and I realized it must be some kind of movie of that girl interuppted story, and she was the girl daisy.
After a while of watchin her , she suddenly looked younger, smiled with a crazy look in her eye and said, HI, IM DAISY, AND IM TEN YEARS OLD. HIJACKING! HIJACKING!
Then they went back to intrroducing the other patients.
the one girl, i dont know who, was testing the other ones, she put a piece of cut up strawberry on a spoon, and used her spoon to launch it across the table to the other girls, and each girl caught it n sent it to the next one, and that was like the intro to the movie...It looked like it was made in the 70s...Then i remember them sayin somethin about "shift nurse"
And then when I heard that I woke up, becuz the shift nurse was the worse when I was in detox. Shift nurse ruled your life, the meds you could get, all of it. I woke up fast when i heard shift nurse in my brain. And the sound of diesel powered snorting outside, Giant trucks that sounded like they are 30 feet tall, their engines like the sound a pig would make if it was a mile high and two miles long. I woke up right away and remembered the whole dream. I dont kno. they are building somethin somewhere a few blocks away but the sound of the trucks is so loud i cant sleep no more so I am awake at 8 30 in the morning to write my dream down. I have no idea wat it means. but i didnt want to forget it.
peeshe guise.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
I would do it again only because it's slightly addictive and i've done it 3 times this week. No more xanax for me.
. No more xanax for me. It lasts far too long for my liking and I'd rather not sleep an entire day away or walk around like a droan because I am so groggy.
