Blogs

my name is: g nine

this morning i was: not amused that i had nightmare again.

im afraid of: falling and spiders

i dream about: not living in ohio. figuring out a job i truly enjoy

Have You Ever…

pictured your crush naked?: and then some

been in love: yes

cried when someone died: not exactly. its usually way after the fact when i am alone.

lied: well, yeah. but i try to avoid it.

flowers or candy: candy

scruff or clean shaven: either or

tall or short: tall. i generally like people who are taller than me.


With The Opposite Sex…

what do you notice first?: smile and laugh. and how they carry themself.

last person you slow danced with: umm, i don't know. it was prolly at my wedding and prolly my dad?

worst question to ask: ones that you are not prepared to deal with. i really hate when people ask a rather loaded question and then can not accept the answer/response.

Who… (i'm gonna change this up and say Which BLer........)

makes you laugh the most?: ego_loss, lapdawg

makes you smile: unglued, vgoraz

gives you a funny feeling when you see them: any BLer i meet for the first time. i tend to be absurdly nervous and then everything turns out fine.

is easier talk to: boys or girls?: boys usually.

Do You Ever…

sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you?: not really. i prefer to just cyber stalk people. my new fun is looking up dating profiles.

save AIM conversations?: i think its the default for pidgin.

wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: picking out clothes would be easier, otherwise no.

cry because of something someone has said: very rarely.

pray?: not within the last decade.

Have You Ever…

fallen for your best friend?: yeah

rejected someone: a few times

cheated on someone: not really, we have what many people call a weird relationship.

been cheated on: no, see aboe

done something you regretted: a zillion things, including some major things. but i made the choices and i might as well see how it pans out.

wanted to die: yeah, tho now i am just indifferent.

Who Was The Last Person…

you talked to on the phone: vgoraz or my mom or unglued. i tend to avoid the phone as much as possible

hugged: kids at work.

you instant messaged: my friend nemo

you laughed with: unglued or vgoraz

Do You…

color your hair: i want to dye it fun colors but i am not sure how well that would go over in catholic school. maybe this summer.

ever get off the computer: work and sleep tend to lead to that.

habla espanol: enough to order food or tell people to fuck off

sprechen sie deutsches: few phrases here and there

fight with your parents: currently no. but 6 months ago i was ready to never see them again.

have friends you’ve lost touch with: i suck at staying in touch, so yeah.

feel happy?: meh, at the moment i am rather apathetic. but it shall pass and i will be happy again.

wish you could fly away.. far, far away?: yes, seattle would be nice. hopefully in june. with a rental car so i can visit people

believe in God?: nope. which makes teaching at a catholic school fun.

could you live without the computer?: moreso than my phone.

what’s your favorite candy?: dark chocolate with salt chunks

whats your favorite fruit?: watermelon

sunrise or sunset?: sunrise has a certain calm about it. unless i am driving to work and then its annoying.

what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain? emotional, there aren't really easy fixes for it.

trust others way too easily?: nope, i am a fairly guarded person

are your fingers cold?: not at the moment

coke or pepsi: coke zero. or diet dr, pepper.

Final Questions…

I want: to travel more

I wish: for money to travel.

I love: my friends and husband, traveling, seattle

I miss: people and things at the most random times

I fear: old people. i don't like them and i don't want to be one.

I hear: the pens game on tv

I smell: nothing, my nose is all stuffed

I wonder: when i will get my tax return so i can go to seattle

Thanks Sweet P! I'll try not to fuck this one up this time LOL


What is on your bed right now? my man and my PJs

When was the last time you threw up? 5 years ago

What's your favorite word or phrase? "ARGH! FUCK!"

Name 3 people who made you smile today? Nobody yet.

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Sleeping.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Watching TV.

What is your favorite holiday? Christmas and New Years.

Have you ever been to another country? Not yet.

What is the last thing you said aloud? "What?"

What is the best ice cream flavour? Mint Chocolate Chip.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Lemonaide

What are you wearing right now? PJs

What was the last thing you ate? A chocolate nutella sandwich.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Not for me. I baught a shirt and coat for my son.

When was the last time you ran? Yesterday.

What's the last sporting event you watched? Baseball.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? England.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message? Hmn. My bestfriend the other day.

Ever go camping? Nope but I want to one day.

Do you have a tan? I don't tan. I just go pink and burn.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? Yes, too many things and entirely too embarassing.

What is your guilty pleasure? More than I care to list.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer?

Do you drink your soda from a straw? No.

What did your last text message say? "You're my bitch mutha fuckka, wait til I get home!" -LOL, you asked-

Are you someone's best friend? Yes, for 20yrs now.

What are you doing tomorrow? the usual hubbub of a work week and having kids.

Where is your mum right now? Probably at home watching TV with my dad, they're retired. Though not sure.

Look to your left, what do you see? Funny enough my son, great timing question LOL Also some work papers, sometimes it sucks working from home. I really need my own office.

What colour is your watch? My last watch broke and I haven't yet replaced it. It was silver.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? Hot Men.

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Yep!

What is your birthstone? Dunno, I think a Dimond? I'm born in April, you figure out.

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? I don't really do fast food but if I have to I get it inside then go home with it.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate? I no longer use myspace.

Do you have a dog? Not anymore.

Last person you talked to on the phone? My man.

Any plans today? Of course.

Are you happy? Sure.

Where are you right now? My livingroom.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? Being broke.

Last song listened to? "Find The Beauty in Ugly" - Jason Mraz

Last movie you saw? The Backup Plan. I Downloaded it yesterday and watched it on my comp.

Are you allergic to anything? Yes.

Favourite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My sneakers.

Are you jealous of anyone? Nope.

Are you married? Engaged and to be married soon.

Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt it but who knows these days.

Do any of your friends have children? Yeah, a lot of them do.

Do you eat healthy? Yes, mostly but I do cheat.

What do you usually do during the day? Weekdays-Work and family Weekends-Fuck all unless planned outings.

Do you hate anyone right now? I don't hate anyone, but I am pissed off with someone at the moment.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Not daily.

How many kids do you want when you're older? Older? Hell I'm already 30! Maybe another 1 or 2 but I doubt it.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 31 *shudders*

Have you ever been to Six Flags? No.

How did you get one of your scars? Just one? Hmn. There was the skateboarding accident or maybe the one from my rollerblading accident. I think I should stay away from wheels on my feet LOL

What is on your bed right now? teddy bear, eye pillow, blanket and normal sheets... i am really picky when it comes to sleepy time

When was the last time you threw up? saturday. apparently i had the drunk g nine face for most of the night.

What's your favorite word or phrase? asinine

Name 3 people who made you smile today? the baby, vgoraz and my students

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? wrestling a kid away from his mom

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? hanging out with the baby and james

What is your favorite holiday? my birthday, or ones that give me time off work

Have you ever been to another country? many times. tho never to europe.

What is the last thing you said aloud? something about intervention since that is what we are watching.

What is the best ice cream flavor? cookie dough

What was the last thing you had to drink? coors light

What are you wearing right now? slippers, khakis, polo and sweatshirt

What was the last thing you ate? pulled pork belly sandwich

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? no, my mom and husband buy me clothes

When was the last time you ran? today. chasing a 4th grader up the stairs

What's the last sporting event you watched? currently watching the cavs and intervention

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? i suppose not ohio is the obvious answer?

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message ? vgoraz

Ever go camping? many times, tho not recently

Do you have a tan? not really.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet? prolly.

What is your guilty pleasure? more than i care to list. prolly drinking.

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?

Do you drink your soda from a straw? only if i get it from a fast food place

What did your last text message say? ok. sure

Are you someone's best friend? yuppers

What are you doing tomorrow? working. hopefully it goes more smoothly than today.

Where is your mom right now? at her house i assume.

Look to your left, what do you see? the couch, james' desk and the kitchen

What color is your watch? silver

What do you think of when you think of Australia? various BLers

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? yeah, but i still hate it

What is your birthstone? ruby

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru? depends on how hungover i am

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate? sorta, on facebook. its SO's of friends.

Do you have a dog? nope

Last person you talked to on the phone? vgoraz this morhing

Any plans today? its almost 10pm, time for bedish.

Are you happy? meh, still rather indifferent. but i am not sad either.

Where are you right now? my apartment watching intervention

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? having a job

Last song listened to? dunno, something on the radio?

Last movie you saw? kick-ass

Are you allergic to anything? horses. cats. some dogs.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? i am pretty unconcerned when it comes to footwear...

Are you jealous of anyone? nope

Are you married? yup, since sept

Is anyone jealous of you? who knows?

Do any of your friends have children? yeah, one ever got pregnant at our wedding!

Do you eat healthy? haha, no.

What do you usually do during the day? work.

Do you hate anyone right now? not really.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? yeah, we have to model proper behavior for the kids

How many kids do you want when you're older? 1, or so.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 28

Have you ever been to Six Flags? yup, it took over geagua lake. and ruined it.

How did u get one of your scars? dumbed shit while drunk and emotional,

hey all things been good sofar (knock on wood), been working like crazy at work, they got me workin the graveyard shift at work, from 8pm - 6am everyday 6 days a week, and i'm off sundays. and the libiary is closed on sundays so it sucks in a way. found out that i have a warrent out for my arrest on a loittering charge, i thought the court date was april 24th, when it really was april 16th. yeah i should do the right thing and turn myself in, but i'm going to hold off. i know i should but damn, things just started to look good for me until this shit fucking popped up in my life. ugh so fucking agravating!
other than that shit nothing a whole lot been goin on. wish i could stay and talk more but gay libiary computers only give you 30 minutes to use them. wich sucks and i got 5mins left.
ah well, just checking in here. hope everyone is cool.
drew

Stolen from Sweet P.

My name is: Sebastian.

This morning I was: Bitchy from being woken up.

I'm afraid of: nothing.

I dream about: Being truely happy, making something of my life.



Have You Ever…

Pictured your crush naked: Who hasn't?

Been in love: Yes

Cried when someone died: Nope.

Lied: Yes, but nothing serious. I rarely lie though and nothing serious. Why lie, the truth will eventually come out.


Flowers or candy: neither.

Scruff or clean shaven: stubble

Tall or short: Average.



With The Opposite Sex…

What do you notice first: Body smell then eyes.

Last person you slow danced with: Never slow danced and I don't intend to!

Worst question to ask: Are you a man or a woman?



Which BL'er...

Makes you laugh the most: my son.

Makes you smile: Nobody in particular. Anybody can make me smile, depending what they say.

Gives you a funny feeling when you see them: My man.

Is easier talk to, boys or girls: Both / neither. Social Anxiety is a bitch.



Do You Ever…

Sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you: Nah, can't be bothered.

Save IM conversation: sometimes.

Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: Biologically, yes.

Cry because of something someone has said: Nope, been pretty flat my whole life.

Pray: Not seriously.



Have You Ever…

Fallen for your best friend: Yes, when I was a kid.

Rejected someone: Yes

Cheated on someone: Not when I've been in a committed relationship.

Been cheated on: Yes

Done something you regretted: Hell yeah.

Wanted to die: Nope.



Who Was The Last Person…

You talked to on the phone: My brother.

Hugged: My guy.

You instant messaged: My bestfriend.

You laughed with: My guy.



Do You…

Colour your hair: At times.

Ever get off the computer: Yes. I'm getting more bored with being online as the weather gets better so I am only online at night.

Habla espanol: a little.

Sprechen sie deutsches: not really.

Fight with your parents: No, never have. I have cool parents.

Have friends you've lost touch with: Plenty

Feel happy: Right now, just average.

Wish you could fly away... far, far away: Yeah, that'd be cool.

Believe in God: No, but I don't disbelieve in any god either. I sit on the fence.

Could you live without the computer: Yes, and did until I was 25 (5yrs ago).

What's your favourite candy: none.

What's your favourite fruit: Watermelon.

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise

What hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain: Emotional.

Trust others way too easily: some people, sure. strangers, nope.

Are your fingers cold: Only my left cause I'm holding a cold chicken, yumm! lol.

Coke or pepsi: Coke. I hate pepsi with a passion.



Final Questions…

I want: To find happiness.

I wish: See above.

I love: My family, my guy.

I miss: Jay, a friend who's disappeared. I hope you're ok dude! (NOT THE SAME AS your JAY SP BUT THANKS FOR POINTING OUT MY OOPS OF NOT FINISHING THE SURVEY -LOL-)

I fear: nothing.

I hear: Right now? My son & my man.

I smell: Tricky question... do I smell, or can I smell something?

I wonder: What the future holds.

saw it. love it. the end.

What is on your bed right now?
Bedding and pillows
When was the last time you threw up?
Oh, I don't know......I hate throwing up. I hope its a long long time til next time.
What's your favorite word or phrase?
Transformation or Life Cycle
Name 3 people who made you smile today?
Brandon, Clint, Frances
What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
Waking up
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Talking on the phone
What is your favorite holiday?
Halloween
Have you ever been to another country?
Nope. Canada for all of 5 minutes
What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Oh come on."
What is the best ice cream flavor?
Mint chocolate chip
What was the last thing you had to drink?
water
What are you wearing right now?
pjs
What was the last thing you ate?
yogurt with flax

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
yes- 2 shirts and a skirt

When was the last time you ran?
no clue

What's the last sporting event you watched?
no clue.

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? Ireland, Scotland and Germany

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message ? Rosie

Ever go camping? sure!

Do you have a tan?
NO way! I like pale.

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
I'm sure

What is your guilty pleasure?
lattes

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot? yep

Do you drink your soda from a straw? no soda for me

What did your last text message say? 'I'm posting naked pics of you on facebook- is that okay? Shoulc I not tag you?"

Are you someone's best friend?yeah

What are you doing tomorrow?
hopeullly nothing

Where is your mom right now?
Colorado

Look to your left, what do you see? my legs

What color is your watch?no watch

What do you think of when you think of Australia? Its probably too hot for me

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?yes- 100's of times

What is your birthstone?
Garnet

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru? I don't do fast food much but when I do I hit the drive thru.

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate? I use facebook and , no.

Do you have a dog? nope

Last person you talked to on the phone?Frances

Any plans today? Nope.

Are you happy? Yeah

Where are you right now? On my couch

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? I have a few

Last song listened to? Apparat and Ellen Allien- Leave me Alone

Last movie you saw? Twilight

Are you allergic to anything? Liars

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? My black boots.

Are you jealous of anyone? Not really, no.

Are you married?yes

Is anyone jealous of you? I doubt that VERY much

Do any of your friends have children?yeah

Do you eat healthy? Alot of the time......I try

What do you usually do during the day? depends on the day

Do you hate anyone right now? no no.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
um, not sure.
How many kids do you want when you're older?
I want 3, now.
How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
ugh, 30.
Have you ever been to Six Flags? yeah
How did u get one of your scars?
Did a cart wheel through a glass window and Flipped over my bike and skidded on my chin and knees.

Stolen from everyone - this looks like an accidental Blogs theme lol!

My name is: Mariposa

This morning I was: Sleeping and preparing for family BBQ later.

I'm afraid of: Some insects, getting senile, bad things happening to friends and family.

I dream about: Pretty much the same shit as everyone else with the addition of a truly fulfilling career path.

Have You Ever…

Pictured your crush naked: Which one? Surely.

Been in love: "Halfway, half a dozen times."

Cried when someone died: Yes,

Lied: Of course. Anyone who answers "no" to this is probably lying!

Flowers or candy: I'd prefer a nice dinner or drinks and conversation.

Scruff or clean shaven: Depends on the guy.

Tall or short: Generally tall, but height isn't a prerequisite for me.

With The Opposite Sex…

What do you notice first: Eyes and facial structure; sense of personal style; hands.

Last person you slow danced with: Probably a friend at the last wedding I attended.

Worst question to ask: "Why aren't you married/don't you have any kids yet?" *rage*

Which BL'er...

Makes you laugh the most: Rangrz, Dave, RR, PFF, SA, the CEP and Lounge regulars. Others too.

Makes you smile: The TDS regulars.

Gives you a funny feeling when you see them: In a good or a bad way?

Is easier to talk to, boys or girls: Both about equal.

Do You Ever…

Sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you: No.

Save IM conversation: Rarely. Waste of memory and I use OTR anyways.

Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: I joke that I am a gay man trapped in a woman's body, but I am happy being female 3/4 of the month.

Cry because of something someone has said: Many times, and easily.

Pray: Not to a deity per se.

Have You Ever…

Fallen for your best friend: Duh-huh.

Rejected someone: I have, and the ensuing drama was a lot to bear.

Cheated on someone: Only in one relationship many years ago, and I wish I had not because it was flat-out wrong. Have not repeated and will not repeat.

Been cheated on: Yes - by the same person I cheated WITH. Go figure!

Done something you regretted: Many things, despite that in general I consider regret a useless emotion.

Wanted to die: A few times, none recently.

Who Was The Last Person…

You talked to on the phone: My dad.

Hugged: My cousin.

You instant messaged: My bestie.

You laughed with: My aunt.

Do You:

Colour your hair: It's mostly highlights and within 1 shade of natural, but yes.

Ever get off the computer: Yes.

Habla espanol: Si, pero no soy fluente.

Sprechen sie deutsches: I know the curse words.

Fight with your parents: I only have one, and we haven't fought in awhile (knock wood).

Have friends you've lost touch with: Too many

Feel happy: Yes, awesome day yesterday and no hangover!

Wish you could fly away... far, far away: Yeah, that'd be cool. I've a few places in mind.

Believe in God: Agnostic - jury's out for me.

Could you live without the computer: I doubt it.

What's your favourite candy: Godiva chocolate raspberry truffles, if anything.

What's your favourite fruit: Strawberries and coconut.

Sunrise or sunset: Sunrise on the Atlantic; sunset on the Pacific.

What hurts the most, physical pain or emotional pain: Emotional.

Trust others way too easily: I have in the past, but not really anymore.

Are your fingers cold: Nope.

Coke or pepsi: Diet Coke w/Splenda if any; I usually avoid soda.

Final Questions…

I want: it all, and now!

I wish: for many things, most immediately, peace and quiet.

I love: Spring, travel, family, friends, techie stuff.

I miss: A lot of things. Mostly being lovingly held.

I fear: Haven't we been over this?

I hear: Kids playing hockey (not mine).

I smell: really good right now, like strawberries.

I wonder: It'd take me a lifetime to answer this.

There is a person who I love dearly, and she has more than an emotional investment in me. I've already prepared her, but it's still going to fuck her life up when she's already been set back ten years before she met me. I'll stick it out until our attorney figures out a way for her to be okay, but after that I'm gone. I don't even know if I'll get that far though, because sometimes I don't have the patience and go into a blackout mode where I forget the importance of the only reason I'm sticking around. But I'm not afraid anymore. If I didn't have unfinished business I'd be gone right after I click the post button. No one can help me, and I'm tired of pretending that they can. Enjoy the lulz while they last, just remember that they have a definite expiration date. Peace.

i don't share my deep thoughts with anyone. here's a better place then any.

should being happy be such an effort?

i think i'm my own worst enemy. i have so many conflicting feelings between the person i am and the person i want to be.

the person i wanted to be was a nice guy, who was passionate for what he did. hard working, friendly with confidence. a positive person, with genuine thoughts and feelings.

the person i am is someone with a chip on his shoulder. someone isn't proud of himself. someone who fails his own expectations. it's hard to find motivation to socialise and be happy when your self esteem is pretty much non existent. i mean fuck, you shouldn't even need motivation to socialise, it should just come natural.

i can't say i've been genuinely happy for a long time now. maybe that's why i always seem to find myself reminiscing about my younger years. maybe that's why i still drive by old friend's houses and think about the fun we used to have. i realise i'm not going to move forward if i'm only ever looking back. 2 years ago i decided to journey abroad to live and work in an attempt to get out of the rut i felt i was in. it was a good experience, but i don't think i made the most of it. i probably didn't put myself out there as much as i should have. but i did find a job i enjoyed though. i loved it actually. 9 months into the job the contract ended and i was devastated. i really thought i had something going. something i could spend my energy on, enjoying it and making a living.

after 1yr abroad i came back home. i think i felt 1yr was enough, but in hindsight i really should have made more of it.

now i've been back home for almost a yr. time has flew by and i think i find myself in the same rut as i was before i went abroad. my job doesn't really excite me, my closer friends are moving on, whether it be with the love of their life, or just a change in direction. where am i going? i don't really know. it's almost as if i'm just waiting for something to happen. but that's not how life works. if you want something done, you gotta get off your arse and do it.

i realise that. but i think i just need a little help. some guidance. some influence and encouragement. i'd never ask for it though. too much pride. but when pride's the only thing you got, it really ain't worth much.

i'm stuck. i really think it's time i make a big decision to do something about it.

my name is:
OverDone

this morning i was:
unhurried

im afraid of:
the perhaps not-so-mythical fanged vagina

i dream about:
security

Have You Ever…

pictured your crush naked?:
my crush, your crush, probably everyone's

been in love:
with 'M'. That feeling has gone and I kinda miss it

cried when someone died:
yes

lied:
of course. Nowadays I may be too honest though

flowers or candy:
neither

scruff or clean shaven:
on me? clean shaven

tall or short:
doesn't matter

With The Opposite Sex…

what do you notice first?:
attitude, boobs, eyes, ass

last person you slow danced with:
Rachel, maybe? in 2006/7

worst question to ask:
how would you like to be a father?

Which BLer:

makes you laugh the most?:
Sweet P

makes you smile:
Ocean, Sweet P, n3o

gives you a funny feeling when you see them:
never met any BLers that I haven't introduced to BL

is easier talk to: boys or girls?:
chicks

Do You Ever…

sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you?:
I'm not THAT needy

save AIM conversations?:
yes, at work for referencing technical resolutions to unusual issues

wish you were a member of the opposite sex?:
no thanks. Woman genitalia is COMPLICATED

cry because of something someone has said:
what someone has said has triggered me to cry about something else

pray?:
yes, to my own concept of whatever is out there

Have You Ever…

fallen for your best friend?:
a couple different instances

rejected someone:
believe it or not... yes

cheated on someone:
I'm not proud of it but yes I have (maybe 10 years ago?)

been cheated on:
yes

done something you regretted:
many, many things

wanted to die:
many, many times

Who Was The Last Person…

you talked to on the phone:
Josh. He told me Dave B. died (RIP brother)

hugged:
hard to say. I was at a meeting on wednesday and I hugged a bunch of folks

you instant messaged:
Sweet P

you laughed with:
Shaman

Do You…

color your hair:
what is this 'hair' you speak of? I am not familiar with the concept

ever get off the computer:
rarely

habla espanol:
nope

sprechen sie deutsches:
nope

fight with your parents:
my dad. Now I just stay the fuck away from him

have friends you’ve lost touch with:
of course. My deepest friendships were when I was in high school

feel happy?:
I feel at peace

wish you could fly away.. far, far away?:
and never come back? no
for a temporary vacation? sure thing

believe in god?:
I believe in a few of them

could you live without the computer?:
yeah but it would be crippling not having such a resource.

what’s your favorite candy?:
haven't had candy in many months

whats your favorite fruit?:
honeydew I guess. Maybe any melon

sunrise or sunset?:
sunrise because it indicates a brand new day

what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?
emotional

trust others way too easily?:
I rarely trust people

are your fingers cold?:
no

coke or pepsi:
I don't drink soda.

Final Questions…

I want:
my dog to be eternally happy and healthy

I wish:
there wasn't a waiting list at the local shelter

I love:
my dog

I miss:
the days when I was 16 through 18

I fear:
my dog's death

I hear:
Jon Stewart on TV

I smell:
cigarette smoke

I wonder:
how many marbles would fit in the average vagina

Since we don't have a theme going right now, I figured I'd post another Random Survey- b/c they're mindless a amusing -
Found this one......isn't the most exciting but it'll do for now-


my name is: Ocean

this morning i was: woken up too early by my kitty

im afraid of: mice, well, rodents and highways

i dream about: living a happy life, travelling, having babies

Have You Ever…

pictured your crush naked?: Psh! yes.

been in love: yes

cried when someone died: Well, I'm not cold hearted, so , uh, YEAH.

lied:
I don't like to lie. Will try to avoid it at all costs (even coming off like a bitch or too blunt) but yes, I have lied.

flowers or candy: flowers

scruff or clean shaven: scruff. ITs hawt.

tall or short: The taller, the better.


With The Opposite Sex…

what do you notice first?:
Um, eyes, lips,cheekbones in physical-
In personality, humor, and humility.

last person you slow danced with: Panic in Paradise in my kitchen a couple nights ago

worst question to ask:
Are you pregnant? hahaha
Do not ask a girl this unless she is 9 months pregnant and there is NO DOUBT WHATSOEVER.

Who… (i'm gonna change this up and say Which BLer........)

makes you laugh the most?:
Panic in Paradise, OverDone or Paranoid Android

makes you smile: Pip, Dave, OD and PA

gives you a funny feeling when you see them:
Um, Pip

is easier talk to: boys or girls?:
Both

Do You Ever…

sit on the internet waiting for someone special to IM you?: No

save AIM conversations?: Not usually

wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Nope, I love being a girl

cry because of something someone has said:
Sure I have.

pray?: I have......and do ask the universe for a favor now and then......

Have You Ever…

fallen for your best friend?: Yeah

rejected someone: yes

cheated on someone:
Once, when I was like 14 haha I don't think it counts 'casue I was 14 and he cheated first....so maybe we weren't even together:D

been cheated on: yeah, see above

done something you regretted: Of course.....though I try not to regret b/c everything that has happened has led me to this place I am at in my life. I am grateful for it.

wanted to die: yep

Who Was The Last Person…

you talked to on the phone: PiP

hugged: Pip

you instant messaged: Redleader or Paranoid Android

you laughed with:PiP

Do You…

color your hair: yes

ever get off the computer: yes

habla espanol: not really

sprechen sie deutsches: nein

fight with your parents: um, next.

have friends you’ve lost touch with: hahah yes, I have lived in over 32 places- I've made and lost friends.

feel happy?: atm, sure

wish you could fly away.. far, far away?:
That'd be cool.

believe in God?: Not a Christian one

could you live without the computer?:
Could I? Yes. Would I want to? No way.

what’s your favorite candy?:
I don't do candy much but when I do I love HErshey bars and Andes Mint Chocolates

whats your favorite fruit?:I love berries

sunrise or sunset?: Sunset- though I have been getting up really early and enjoying the morning sunlight (just not early enough to see it rise)

what hurts the most? physical pain or emotional pain?
Emotional......

trust others way too easily?: Not anymore

are your fingers cold?:
They were earlier

coke or pepsi: I don't drink soda

Final Questions…

I want: a baby

I wish: for peace and my loved ones to be happy and out of pain

I love: Nature, my family, Astrology, my ancestors, the Pacific Northwest, changing weather, my kitties of course.......lots of things

I miss: My brother

I fear: a lot. It is something I need to work on

I hear: ghosts talk in my kitchen....well, one ghost.

I smell:
A peppermint spray I put on earlier

I wonder: if we will escape the heat this summer

I posted a 80s flash back post the other day and now its gone -- wtf?

I created a facebook group for people who are survivors and currently suffer from Mood Disorders of all kinds. I might make it something truely serious on a future date but right now its just for free talk and non-judgement.

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=118281524866818

Oh man! K and I went swimming together today... That went over real well... I think we got about 5 laps done (he's not a good swimmer; it's so funny since he is so kickass at everything else) before he recommended we hit the sauna and spa and... (at this y they were co-ed)... ooohh lala! hot and sweaty! but nothing bad. Hehehe. Yet. Showertime, and then, he asked me to give him a ride to his car b/c he parked far away... That's when things got outta control!! And we both wanted to. Hehehe.
That man has amazing lips. Wow. :-O
:-D

Now I just have to figure out how to get the other losers out of my life... Argh....

So,
Today was awesome! I found out I am going to take the WSI class (that I've already taken...grr) AND the water aerobics instructor class! DAYUMM!
When the YWCA hires ya, they want an INSTRUCTOR, dammit! Hahahah!
For realz though, the pool is only four lanes, and it is almost constantly filled by lessons or classes. One of the other instructors is about to graduate nursing school so I guess I am filling her place!
This is all under the condition that I passed my pee test, which... is not definite. Hahaha! Using the Diva Cup seemed like a good idea at the time... but no. Not so much. I hope I'm just making such a good impression with my enthusiasm for teaching that they'll let me test again and I'll fake it right this time!
Everyone is SO nice there, too! Unlike the yMca, where I had my LG recert class, everyone who works at the dub likes each other and gets along. You can tell.
My one complaint is they are very set in their ways when it comes to swim lessons. This is NOT fine to me... Since my ways are just as good! There are lots of ways to teach swimming, but the point is, once someone is COMFORTABLE in the water, they will swim well. It's not a big deal, though, since as long as I play along, all goes well (Ithink!).
K came over to my house to install Adobe Pro on my computer so I can cheat on my computer assignments haha! We made out hardcore... and I discovered something... little. That's all I'll say. Heehee!

What this thread is really about I supposed. Anyway, I posted a thread in OD's which was moved here, probably correctly as this is my first attempt at 'blogging'(still not sure what blog/s are lol, but anyway, here's what I posted.

Not done alprazolam (which does seem to be a definite fave on these boards), but out the rest of the benzo top 10 Temazepam just has to be my 11.

Funny thing happened today. FOR YONKS i've cultivated my doc, hoping that if I don't act like a 'drug seeker' he'd be more likely to do me some decent scripts now & again. But no, its been a small xopiclone script which is ok but nothing to write home about. I mentioned last week that the zops were'nt working very well and he just said well we'll have to taper your dose then! wtf?

Went in this afternoon for my reduced dose and complained a bit, mentioned that I'd slipped & hurt my back & that the reduced dose of zop was to blame. The receptionist called another doc who quickly examined me and wrote me a script for 50 15mg codeine for the back & 10 temazepam to help me sleep.



Yo for real doctors!

Click to expand...

More about shite doctors than good benzo's, but hey wtf. Have a nice day, Levvy

Here's a few spots that I used to loiter at. I haven't posted locations and I don't go there any more, so I figured there's no harm.

I struggle to understand why, in New Zealand, opiate addicts can get suboxone and methadone to help fight their addiction, but meth addicts get jack shit. Meth is just as addictive, if not more addictive than opiates, it causes a lot of damage to people and society, and yet nothing's really being done about it. Almost makes me wish I got into heroin rather than meth!

Drug counselling can only go so far... I think a medical intervention is also needed. How 'bout offering us meth addicts dextroamphetamine, dispensed and closely monitored, just like methadone. I'm sure it will do a lot to help with the meth epidemic which this country has been facing for years.

I think I am gonna like my new hours... I miss my wake and bakes. The sleeping in is nice too.

I know I said I would talk more on MSN to some of my friends but right now I am just not up for talking. Probably won't be for a few days. I'm one of those people who need some time to themselves, to just shut down and take it all in and just let the crap go. If I talk to people they end up annoying the fuck out of me and I end up snapping at them. I don't want to be angry or pissy at anyone, so I think it is just best to stay away from people for a little while. So if I don't reply, don't take it personal, I just need my space for a few days....or whenever I feel up to talking. Could be tomorrow, could be 3 months from now, whenever it is -- it is.

I have alot of thinking to do, alot of calming the F down. Alot of alot to do.

I dunno...

Still Wednesday, April 28th,2010 and it is now 758 PM...

After the Maguindanao Massacare Esmael "Toto" Mangudadatu was given 24 hour police protection. It was with 2 police bodyguards then that he decided to take his 3 daughters for some shopping and a night out on the town. Heading to Davao City's Gaisano Mall, the group were casually taking in the scene when they saw a familiar face.

Kamendan Tamino Kagi, a nephew of Andal Ampatuan Jr., the alleged mastermind behind the November killings, was also a known member of the Ampatuan paramilitary. He and his wife Natividad were also friendly with Esmael and his late wife Gennalyn, who had been killed in the bloodbath.

It was for this reason perhaps that Mangudadatu felt comfortable talking to Tamano ("Kagi" is an honourific denoting a Muslim who has made the Haj Pilgramage). Without warning Tamano lunged for the pistole of 1 of the bodyguards and failing to secure it made a dash through a nearby department store's housewares section. As Natividad ducked into an open stockroom shots rang out and Tamano fell to the floor, dead instantly. When the snoke cleared not only were both police bodyguards under arrest for murder, but so was Mangudadatu.

Natividad had told Davao City Prosecutors that they had aimicable words with Mangudadatu and as they turned to leave the Vice Mayor of Buluacan had instructed his bodyguards to kill the couple.

Although a week later Esmael Mangudadatu would have charges against him withdrawn, his bodyguards remain enmeshed in this Kakfaesque nightmare.

Politics is not an especially well paying gig in the Philippines but it is a foot in the door, inside of a system that revolves around unimaginable greed and corruption.

Even the country's Maoist guerilla movement, the NPA (New People's Army) gets its share of the spoils. Where as in previous elections the NPA has charged politicians for "Permits to Campaign, " or "PTCs" for short, this election saw them "sell" "Permits to Win," or "PTWs." For a price of 5,000 Pesos (130 US) for a Baragany Councilor (Neighbourhood Councilman) to 500,000 Pesos (11,000 US) for a Governorship or Legislative seat candidates are being assured a victory.

How can the NPA "guarantee" such a thing? In most of Mindanao (almost all non-Muslim areas) the group runs an effective parallel government. It exerts an amazing amount of influence even when not effectively fielding a complete parallel govt.

Those politicians who try and forgo the "permit" process find themselves on the wrong side of a gun barrel though the NPA no longer subjects them to actual violence. Instead it simply outmans their security forces and banishes them from the campaign trail. Cases in point:

Saturday, 4/12/2010, 420 PM;
Tagbina, Surigao del Sur Province :

Mayoral hopeful Jessie Callano and 2 bodyguards were en route to a campaign rally 30 NPA guerillas of Front-14, under Ka (Brother) Tata flagged down Callano's SUV. After "confiscating" two 45 pistols and one 9 MM pistol, they were told that until they came up with 50,000 Pesos (1,100 US) for a PTW there would be no more campaigning. After 30 minutes they were allowed to turn around and leave.

Saturday, 4/12/2010, 3 PM; Lupon, Davao Oriental Province:

Mayoral hopeful Arfran Larrobis Quinones and 8 others, including some Barangay(District) Leaders were at a campaign meeting when 30 NPA guerillas in military fatigues, from Front-18 under Ka Benjie took them hostage. At issue was Quinones and 1 Barangay Kagawad (Leader), Ronisito Pedro, not paying for PTWs. The 7 others were released.

Quinones and Pedro were then taken into the bush and kept as "guests" of the NPA as the Provincial Governor of Compostela Valley, aka "ComVal," worked to effect their release. Front-18 operates mostly in ComVal but also in the border area of Davao Oriental where Lupon is located.

The 2 politicians were released 5 hours later.


Saturday, 4/24/2010; Bisilig City, Surigao del Sur Province:

Mayor Alberto Tan, in a large convoy on Road #13, Bisilig en route to a campaign rally in Barangay San Roque in the same city was blocked by an impromptu checkpoint manned by 100 NPA. The NPA were quite concerned that Tan had been utilising the AFP (army) as his advance guard as he moved around the province as he tries to win the Gubneratorial Race.

Current Governor Librado Navarro, brother of NPA Regional Commander Rudy Navarro, formerly a priest who became known as the "Barefoot Priest" when he joined the Maoists. Governor Navarro is retiring.


Sunday, 4/25/2010; Barangay San Vicente, Bisilig City, Surigao del Sur:

2 City Council hopefuls, Narciso Curalde and Gertrude Cabatingan were waylaid at an NPA checkpoint manned by 200 guerillas of Front-14 under Ka Dino and held for 3 hours over failure to pay PTW fees.


Sunday, 4/25/2010; Barangay San Vicente, Hinutuan, Surigao del Sur:

Incumbent Mayor Candelario Viola was wanted for failure to pay an installment on his PTW fee. His entourage was stopped at an NPA checkpoint manned by 60 guarillas from Front-14 under Ka Juniel.

When the NPA realised the mayor was not present the entourage was allowed to proceed.

Wednesday, 4/28/2010; Barangay Mabuhay in Tandag City, Surigao del Sur:

Mayoral hopeful Alexander Pimentel and entourage were seized at an NPA checkpoint manned by 100 guerillas. All weapons were seized, and after a 30 minute talking down about the need to pay PTW fees he was released.


Though I am posting on Wednesday, April 28th, it is now Thursday the 29th in the Philippines and this next one just took place...

Thursday, 4/29/2010; Bislig City, Surigao del Sur Province:

Congressman Philip Pichay and bodyguards were stopped at an NPA checkpoint. Four M16s and four 45 pistols were taken from the entourage and Pichay was given a tongue lashing for his failure to pay PTW fees. He said he is terrified and will now pay.

More later...