(Continued from previous entry)
---
(...)
[Note: About an hour after we reached his place and started playing around]
Suddenly, I found myself twisted on the bed with my back to him, his legs bent and locked around mine, restricting their movement, and his arms pinning mine down beside him on the bed and stretching them above my head so I was uncomfortably contorted. It seems he stunned me with a sudden move as I don't remember how exactly did it all happen. I took a moment and then noticed that he simply held me like that, silent and still, except for both our excited breathing. I tried to struggle free but his four-limbed grip tightened and I started feeling a bit of pain in my tendons, all over my stretched and locked body. I froze for a moment with him after giggling nervously and then tried to surprise him by pulling my arms down to escape his grip. It worked for a moment, but I quickly found myself surrounded by both his arms, with which he garbed each of my wrists and, despite my struggling to break free with all my strength, I found my arms crossed in front of my chest and pulled back from behind, causing one arm to limit the other's movement. I heard him ask, "where do you think your going?" as I once again tried to freeze and surprise him with a move.
This time, it was all but futile, and the result was my yelping in pain as he tightened his grip on all four enough to cause my joints to ache, and then relaxing just enough for the sharp pain to abate but not enough so that the burn of stretching was still there. This time, his grip was hard as steel, and even at the slightest move of my arms or legs he'd press to the painful level for a moment - long enough to hear me cry out again, and back to the same position.
All of this, he did in complete silence until now, aside from the question that he asked. By then it was clear to me: he was demonstrating his power over me, and doing so with all the confidence in the world. This guy's strength astonishing, considering he is not much more built than I am and, from what I gathered from our car conversation, a year younger than me (!). On top of that, the skill with which he exacted his moves suggested extensive experience in some grappling martial art (he said that he had none whatsoever when I asked later, though I seriously doubt it). I was feeling increasingly weak, helpless, and losing control over everything.
"I'm gonna show you who's in charge here..." he said as he swiftly slid beneath my torso while maintaining his grip, and in no time had me in the same cross-armed position now resting on his belly, my body arched, and my cock throbbing furiously against the air overhead, his in turn throbbing against my lower back. Once again he pressed just enough to hear me scream then relaxed a tiny bit. He made a point of stretching my legs as far apart using his own. I was rendered immobile, completely exposed and vulnerable, and there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it.
"You're not going anywhere..." he said, "and there's nothing you can do about it!" - to spell out my feelings, and as if to demonstrate what he said he let go of me, so that I instinctively found myself trying to escape, only to find myself the next instant swiftly entangled in a different, steel-tough grip, again headed by a spike of pain. He did this again several times in what looked like a very unbalanced wrestling match. After a few tries I finally gave up.
At some point either here or between the next few events, he paused while keeping me locked in an awkward position, and proceeded to rant on random subjects! I have no idea how he managed to get on the subject, but all I know is that I was stuck in a hold for a very long time listening to his stoned rants, especially how he repeated the insignificant details. One definitely significant detail, however, was his accidentally mentioning his real name: Tom. I guessed this was part of his power game and went along with it. I am sure he was aware that I was facing his cock by the way I was positioned, and knew just how bad I wanted it. I believe that after the long-winded discussion, he ordered me to suck him off but after a while interrupted me for some reason and went back to keeping me under his hold.
"You're not going anywhere..." he repeated. I do not remember how I was held exactly but he did have one arm by the wrist and no matter how I moved it, his grip made it so that my arm became more and more contorted. He pointed out that if I keep struggling I will cause it to break, which was evident to me. I had no choice but to stop. "See? You can't go anywhere without my permission." All I could do was breathe heavily... he kept bringing his face close to mine, and every time I tried to raise mine toward it I was pushed down forcefully. After several failed attempts, I whimpered that I would do anything to kiss him now. He pretended he didn't hear and ordered me to repeat.
I repeated myself as ordered, but he just smiled a little and, once again, he let go momentarily (perhaps playing on my hopes of reaching his face for said kiss), only for me to find him straddling my crotch and pinning my arms far above my head in a classic submission hold, which he stretched until he was satisfied with my reaction to the pain.
At this point I was in some sort of an ecstatic trance, having never felt such utter and absolute helplessness under the immediate, complete control of another person. It was a mystical experience in a way, a very liberating feeling...
(...)
I then remember myself beside him on the bed and restrained again in a most awkward and rather painful contortion that got only tighter and nastier anytime I tried to adjust my body to become less awkward. I was screaming again, in equal parts pain and bliss. He eventually shifted the hold to make my body more stable while still, but it was still awkward. What's more, one of his legs passed just over and in front of my crotch, missing my dick by a hair, and try as I tried, I could never rub it against that leg. "Look at how pathetic you are. You're trying to rub your dick against my leg but you won't be able to..." he said in a matter-of-factly tone. At this point, all I could do was laugh. "And you're not going anywhere," he repeated once agian. "If you try to move the right arm, you'll dislocate your shoulder, and if you try to move your left hand you'll break your wrist..." - I most definitely felt on the edge of both, exactly as he described... "... and if you try to move your right leg, you'll dislocate your hip... and the left leg is stuck beneath my weight..." he was absolutely right. "And I guess this means..." he paused as his voice became slightly more arrogant, "that you are fucked. Right?"
I laughed. "Right."
He giggled, and repeated, "You are totally fucked - figuratively now, and you're going to be fucked both literally and figuratively next time! [we had agreed not to have intercourse this time as we were both out of condoms, and besides his roommate was there and he didn't want her to hear my screaming]"
He then just stopped in silence, no doubt himself being as turned on by his power and control as I was turned on by my lack thereof.
"So now you know who's in charge here, right?" I could only say yes.
"So who's in charge?"
I just whimpered. He momentarily tightened his grip and I screamed.
"Who's in charge?? TELL ME??"
"...you."
"That's right. And who makes the rules?"
"You do..."
"That's right," and he proceeded to explain in his now-characteristic matter-of-fact way how I am fucked if I don't follow the rules and how I'm fucked if I do.
"So in the end, either way, this means that you're fucked!" he sarcastically remarked. "It means that your what?"
"That... that I'm fucked." I giggled nervously. At this point I was unable to tell the difference between funny and intimidating. At the same time, I was reaching states of sexual arousal that I had never, ever experienced before.
"That's right".
More silent stillness. The powerful effect here was that he caused me, through my own and apparently freely-chosen actions, to prove to myself just how powerless I am against him. This was further cemented with his dialogue in which it seems the final result is always my admission - again through my own, apparently free, will - that I am completely helpless and fucked.
I then broke into laughter again.
(Continued next post)
