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I haven't shared with you here in a long time. This is where we met, I know u know. I completed training in auricular acupuncture over the weekend. I wish you were available verbally for me to tell you about it. I still have your voicemails. I can't wait to re-record them. I still miss you alot. I'm crying now, unashamed, in the MSSU library. We'll talk more later! I'm getting a laptop!

Where is your cell phone?
table
Where is your significant other?
it's complicated
What color is your hair?
dark brown
Where is your mother?
Boston
Where is your father?
Boston
What is your favorite thing?
abandoned places
Your dream last night?
can't remember
Your favorite drink?
Pomegranate Lychee Pom
Your hobby?
modeling
Your fear?
being alone with my cats when they die
Where do you want to be in 6 years?
dead
Where were you last night?
home
Something that you aren't?
thief
wish list item?
don't have one.
Last thing you did?
texted
What are you wearing?
jeans and shirt
What did you watch on TV last night?
n/a don't have cable
Your pet's name?
punk and missy
Describe your friends?
my best friend i'm in love with, i have online friends, my other friends are drug connects
Describe your life?
unhappy
Your mood?
worried
Are you missing someone?
yes
What do you drink?
grapefruit juice
What kind of car do you have?
none
Something you're not wearing?
bra
Your favorite store?
crossroads. or buffalo exchange.
Your favorite color?
green
When is the last time you cried?
this morning
Who will resend this?
nobody
Where do you go to over and over?
goodwill
Five people who email me regularly?
my grandpa
Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
past
Four people I think will respond
why?

i wish she'd call me back.... and everything would be back to normal. i am freaking out. if it's not one thing, it's something else. why is that???

Learning, practicing and strengthening my levels of patience seems to be one of the critical points in my mentality that I need to be on point with.

History reveals that I have a tendency to rush through life. Rush in accomplishing tasks. Rush through conversations. Rush through everything in a frantic attempt to get things done immediately and/or recover lost time. Time cannot be recovered so, different approaches must be made. I am definitely getting better at abandoning tactics, strategies, patterns and behaviors that have proven themselves, time and time again to be ineffective but patience is the key.

So, out with the old, eh?

This patience, though, it requires some sort of faith, or perhaps 'fortitude' is a more appropriate term. Giving things an honest try and sticking with the plan. Carrying on, knowing that inexperience disallows personal knowledge of what an appropriate time frame might be for me to expect results.

The past ten months yielded many results. Granted, I did rush frantically in some areas. Those areas are when results were less than to be expected.

So, looks like I'm just going to maintain a steady pace trying these new approaches.

Man, time certainly is a peculiar thing.

I know for myself, finding out my loved one had an addiction was like a slap in the face. It left me lonely, sad, angry and confused amongst many other emotions. I wish i could have gotten more advice from people that were going through the same thing i was. That's why i feel like anyone going through this needs as much support and guidance as they can possibly get, hopefully my experiences can help you too.

Drug addiction is a family disease. I feel like family members with good intentions go to great lengths to help their addicted loved one- almost so far that their efforts are often directed more towards keeping that “addicted person” out of trouble, rather than addressing the drug problem in itself. First off, you must learn the facts- FLAT OUT. The more you know about their disease the easier it will be to help them. We must also remember to refrain from rescuing our addicted loved one. Consequences are what led them to get help in the first place. When family members remove these consequences- the addict loses ALL motivation to get help, which obviously doesn’t help anyone. And whatever you do DO NOT support them financially. Addiction is expensive, and, in the end most often is burdened by the family.

Always tell yourself, NO ONE is to blame- addiction is a disease, not a choice so DON’T analyze it.
One of the most important things to remember when helping an addict is don’t under any circumstance make idle threats. You must say what you mean and do what you say. Addicted people DO NOT respond to threats- they have been rescued before and they do not believe family will follow through on threats.
Next, addicts are incapable of keeping promises- its a proven fact. So don’t expect them to. They may sincerely want to but their disease prevents them from doing so.

Don’t preach, lecture, or try to reason- its a waste of breath. NO ONE can talk an addict enough to make them seek recovery- they must find this within themselves in order to truly recover. Remember that only consequences are powerful enough to break the hold addiction has on their brain. Another thing, do avoid reactions of anger and pity. No matter how angry you may get there will always without a doubt be a feeling of immense pity following this. Anger is easily endured and manipulated by the addicts disease- so it’s never a good option. In addition you must remember almost undeniably the most helpful way you can better your addicted loved one is to NOT ACCOMMODATE for their disease. Addiction is a subtle foe and it will gradually infiltrate a families home, lifestyle, and attitudes in ways that often go unnoticed. Examples of accommodation include, locking up valuables, not inviting guests for fear that addicted person might cause embarrassment, adjusting ones work schedule to be home with the addict, and not taking vacations for fear of not being available for your addicted loved one. These things seem like they may require alot of hard work and commitment- and i will not glamorize it, because it is more work than you’ll ever know until you actually experience it for yourself. But in the end- it couldn’t be more worth it.


Lastly, families and friends must remember when helping an addict to recover, it is your job to focus on your OWN life and responsibilities. Families must identify areas of their own lives that have been neglected due to their focus on someone else’s addiction. It is important to reclaim one’s life or the disease will hold the family hostage as well as the addicted person. Take time for yourself, and come to accept that your loved one has a disease they will carry with him/her for the rest of their life. It’s up to THEM, their decisions and choices will decide if the rest of their life will be clean and happy. You must also accept you are merely there as an emotional support who can help guide them down the right path. The choice is ultimately up to them- and you CANNOT under any circumstance allow their choices in life effect your well being. Stay strong and smart. I did, and with that anythings possible. Good luck!
SLOW DOWN
CALM DOWN
DON’T WORRY
DON’T HURRY
TRUST THE PROCESS

Today I start on a totally "green" journey. Stop with all of the opiate "chemical" and totally go organic O. I just bought some seeds from a "Persian White" strain, and the "Giganthenum" strain. I will look for them in the mail in two days! I'm so excited about trying this for the first time! I will post my activities here as a journal and a reference for others. Until I get my seeds...goodbye.

It's been so long since I've been here on Bluelight. About six months.

I relapsed about a month ago.

I guess I wasn't ready to get clean. I had almost five months this time.

I'm not using as much as was, but I'm definitely using again. Sad to say that I feel "at home" with this habit. I tried.

Maybe someday I'll get clean, but that day is not today.

A girl got fired from my job today . . . she's a heroin addict, was asking people for money, got caught shooting up at work. Taking ten smoke breaks in a four hour shift is kinda obvious . . . I hate to judge another drug addict but at least I don't bring mine to work.

Another coworker almost got killed when with her, too. She went to cop and this other coworker was drunk (he's 17) and walked right into the house and asked to use the bathroom and the dealer whipped a gun out and told him to get the fuck out . . .

He doesn't need to be hanging around with girls like us.

Is going to the washroom. Freaks me out every time. It is like, you have to do normal things. Yeah you do it every day, multiple times a day, but it is soooo difficult!

I also hate it because I have to leave my boyfriend. And that scares me while tripping.

But going to the washroom is weird. There are lights and stalls and taps and figuring out what to do with the toilet paper is so frustrating! If there are sober people there, it can be even weirder. How about when you're camping? Outhouses while tripping aren't fun either!! I saw things coming at me. I hurried .

I try not to go to the washroom as much on psychedelics, just because it is weird and uncomfortable. But if a trip is lasting 6-8 hours, you've gotta go (most of the time, and to be "healthy"). Trips me out every time ... so weird.

can sombody give me some insight on hair folicle testing???

Today was very crappy as well as the other day. Health wise that is.
I was getting brain zaps yesterday and today it felt like i was going through withdrawals and all that shit. Just feeling out of sorts

So I flaked out having THE conversation this weekend. She referred to me as her girlfriend and then she goes "Oh sorry, what are we? Sorry for just saying all that" and I just go, "Whatever. Whatever you feel comfortable with." and so that earned me with a "Oh I guess we can have no labels for now, go with the moment."

me = *facepalm*

I think she's in love with me, and I just think I might be getting pretty close myself.

She's pretty amazing.

I dunno......everything is just out of my comfort zone but I enjoy every moment of it.

i know, typical emoshit... but seriously... i just feel like nobody gets it... why i do what i do... myself included...

like, Pavlovian training should get most animals capable of learning to learn not to hurt themselves... it doesn't matter if i know the outcome will be bad... i do it anyway...

pain

its just all pain...

all i feel is pain...
and frustration, because i'm causing MORE PAIN!!!

I really need to post a proper update... there's a lot going on in this busy little life and mind of mine. Until then, here we go with a survey, copied and pasted from animal_cookie.

Where is your cell phone?
3 feet across my desk.

Where is your significant other?
Working hard at his day job.

What color is your hair?
Golden summertime blonde. I got all the chemicals right; it's quite stunning without any gray.

Where is your mother?
If there's a heaven, my Mom is there. She died in 1996.

Where is your father?
He should be at work in California.

What is your favorite thing?
Adventure.

Your dream last night?
I am sure I had a few, but nothing that really sticks out. Side effect of long-term benzodiazepine therapy.

Your favorite drink?
At present, flavored seltzer as I'm on a health kick. Usually, Long Island Iced Tea.

Your hobby?
Writing. I've been keeping and indexing personal notebooks. I also obsessively read.

Your fear?
The unknown, in general - with driving as a very close second.

Where do you want to be in 6 years?
Happy and free of drama.

Where were you last night?
At home, alone after a long weekend out of town, doing Excel spreadsheets, and having an extremely awkward talk. Yikes.

Something that you aren't?
Definition can vary over time. I'm not disrespectful overall. I'm not a person who takes anything for granted.

wish list item?
Mariposa needs a new pair of shoes.

Last thing you did?
I sent a text message.

What are you wearing?
A very light cardigan, pink tanktop, sparkly necklace, green khakis.

What did you watch on TV last night?
I don't generally watch TV except for Hulu and downloads. I'd like cable, and may sneak it on housie within the month.

Your pet's name?
They are all feline and living the good life with my family in California. Neko, age 11 (Siamese mix, blue eyes, raccoon-type tail), Sasha, age 3 (ginger tabby, my little lovecat), and Albert (littermate/brother with Sasha, also age 3). I love them; alas, housie's allergic, so they live with my family.

Describe your friends?
The best friends a person for which a person could wish. They come from different backgrounds, ideologies, some are related, some are not. Some (well, many) are Bluelighters! All are in my thoughts and my heart. I am very blessed.

Describe your life?
A clusterfuck. I need to start doing my own filing and buy another cabinet. It's Monday, after all.

Your mood?
Also a clusterfuck. Personal reasons.

Are you missing someone?
I miss my mother. I'd like to hear her laughter when she was normal, which was not often. I miss my housie too. She's pretty cool even when she's batshit manic.

What do you drink?
Most of the time, it's water out of a Brita pitcher or a safe plastic bottle. If I'm drinking alcohol, it's vodka mixed with whatever or a Long Island Iced Tea.

What kind of car do you have?
1995 Toyota Tercel. Silver. Very basic. I'd like an SUV again, but I'm not willing to finance a hybrid at present. I hate driving. I have to drive to get where I want to go, though, so I'm going to run this thing until its engine dies (hopefully not anytime soon). Did I mention I hate driving? My little automobile is speedy

Something you're not wearing?
Earrings. They annoy me on myself; very stylish on others and on me at times. Just not right now.

Your favorite store?
Powell's Bookstore, Portland, Oregon. It's the largest independent bookstore in the USA. I never lack for perspective when I go get lost and read for hours. They won't be going out of business like these jackass 'overcorporations' and the people that work there are wonderful! They've gotten me all my texts in all domains, timely, and cheaper than expected. I'll go there anytime.

Your favorite color?
No clue. Probably clear.

When is the last time you cried?
Today. My right eye has a messed-up tear duct due to allergies. From emotions? Happy ones, yesterday. Sad ones, about a month ago.

Who will resend this?
I won't re-send this beyond BL. I'll guess that any of we regulars should welcome the newbies. I know I look forward to welcoming others to Blogs. I really like the process of others expressing their thoughts.

Where do you go to over and over?
Yosemite National Park. Family has a home 30 mi outside there. We can't go there in winter unless I'll get in a turboprop, which isn't likely, as the roads are impassible if the snow gets above 1500 feet of elevation.

Five people who email me regularly?
I'll keep this relatively anonymous for all purposes.

Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
London, UK. It's another home in many ways. Locally, probably anywhere away from my desk.

Four people I think will respond?
Many of my favorite folks already have; I'm late in the game and I'm not the predictive type.

Sittin' here bored. Counting down the hours until I can take another dose of methylone and feel something. I've already had 470mg's, which leaves me with 1.5g's. I fucking love this stuff so much, but it's so fucking expensive. I pay $140 for 10g's which isn't too awful bad. The vendor I buy from is out of town for the next week so when I'm out, I'm out. That's definitely a good thing...I need time to let my body readjust and level out. I want to take a break so bad, but I don't..haha

But anyways, I'm sitting here playing Halo Reach to pass the time and occupy my boredom.

If anyone at all would care to play, my xbox live gamertag is p8ntballa

Hit me up

1. what are three ways to win your heart?
Honesty, Loyalty and a good sense of humor .

2. do you like lightning?
I miss it. We rarely get them here, so when we do I get excited. I don't miss Tx Tornado warnings though.

3. have you ever cut someone else's hair?
Yes, but more like trims.

4. last person you said ‘i hate you’ to?
Eh. I don't know.

5. rain or sunshine?
How about partly cloudy?

6. last stupid thing you said to anyone?

Who knows!

7. biggest turn off?
Cocky people and liars

8. fave movie?
Too hard to choose.

9. would you date someone who smokes?

Yeah.

10. would you date someone who was addicted to drugs?
Probably not.

11. what’s your biggest turn on, physically?
Not sure- I think the personality will make me physically attracted to someone......That seems to shine through.

12. would you have sex w. someone you weren’t dating?
Probably not.

13. have you ever missed someone and regretted breaking up with them?
Missed, yes.

14. have you ever dated someone more than once?
Yeah.

15. if you could go on ONE DATE with any celebrity, who would it be?
Alexander Skarsgard .


16. what’s your relationship status?
Single

17. do you like cuddling?
Sometimes.

18. do you hold grudges?
I don't hold a grudge, but I don't forget.

19. do you regret dating anyone?
Anyone before the age of 17, yes.

20. hugger or kisser? Style?
Style? I don't know. Both.


21. missing someone?
I miss Clint.

22. most important lesson you’ve learned from your exes?
I learned a lot from my ex.


23. are you happier single or in a relationship?
I don't know. I think I'd be happy in a relationship but I'm happy now and I'm single.

24. how important are looks?
I need to be attracted to someone, but again, if the person is good, it will show through into that physical attraction.

25. would you rather date someone who was SUPER-HOT or someone who was nice?
Nice.

26. do you stay friends w/ the people you’ve dated?
Sometimes??

27. would you fight over someone you wanted to be with?
Fight who? Probably not- if someone is with me, then I shouldn't be fighting to be with them.

28. do you kiss on the 1st date?

I don't know.

29. if someone cheated on you, would you take them back if you really loved them?
Probably not.

30. some random girl comes up to you and says “who the hell are you”? What do you say back?
Um, I have no idea. I guess it depends on my mood.....

31. are you spoiled?
Not really, no. Though I am trying to spoil myself a bit atm.

32. name three things you would not tolerate in a relationship?
Well........cheating, lying, abuse.

33. which one of your friends do you think would make a good prostitute?


34. did you miss anyone today?
My brother.

35. last person to see you cry?

My mom.

36. Who/what made you cry?
My brother going to Afghanistan.


37. are you a forgiving person?
Yeah, I think so.....probably too forgiving.
I'm working on that.

38. would you ever share a girl/boyfriend with your best friend?
um, no.

39. i’ve come to realize the last person who gave me a hug…
was my mommy

40. are most of your friends guys or girls?
both.

41. how long does it take you to get ready to go out ?

and hour or so

42. how many people do you know of named Adam ?
None.....?

44. what was the last thing you burnt ?
? I don't know.

45. what is your full name?
You know it or you don't

46. do you worry about the size of boobs?
No.

47. are you addicted to gossip?
Nope

48. what are your favorite magazines?
The Mountain Astrologer

49. did you ever spend all day/night getting pretty for a guy/girl?
No.

50. did you ever cry during a romantic movie?
Yep.

51. what’s the biggest turn on about guys/girls?

I don't know........Humor and intelligence.


52. what color do you absolutely despise?
I don't hate any color.

53. have you set your hair on fire?
um, yeah. It wasn't cool.

54. have you ever ran into a door because you didn’t see it?
Sure have!

55. have you lost a friend recently?
I wouldn't say recently but yeah-
I'm trying to keep my distance. I need to learn from my mistakes and learn to say no.

56. is it easier to forgive, or to forget?
Forgive.

57. do you give out second chances too easily?
I think a second chance is fine if it's someone you care for and it isn't something too terrible.
But I have limits.

58. is it awkward when you run into your exes?
I don't run into exes.

59. have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Sure have.

60. is your life simple or complicated?
Both.

61. are you taller than 5′4″?
I am.

63. is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
Nope. It's dyed.
I was natural for so many years- I needed a change.

64. does everything really happen for a reason?
I think so, yes.

65. tell me something people may not know about you.
I'll tell you almost anything you ask.

Can anyone point me in the direction of a good doctor in SLC, or even Tampa since I will be traveling there this week? I am new here, so I am not sure how this allworks... Thanks in advance

Where is your cell phone?
charging
Where is your significant other?
bbq
What color is your hair?
brownish
Where is your mother?
iowa
Where is your father?
same
What is your favorite thing?
kittens!
Your dream last night?
forgetful
Your favorite drink?
water
Your hobby?
reading
Your fear?
earthworms
Where do you want to be in 6 years?
content
Where were you last night?
home
Something that you aren't?
gnome
wish list item?
peace
Last thing you did?
eat
What are you wearing?
clothes
What did you watch on TV last night?
cops
Your pet's name?
azrael
Describe your friends?
fun
Describe your life?
boring
Your mood?
okay
Are you missing someone?
yep
What do you drink?
water
What kind of car do you have?
bus
Something you're not wearing?
shoes
Your favorite store?
sephora
Your favorite color?
blue
When is the last time you cried?
yesterday
Who will resend this?
someone
Where do you go to over and over?
home
Five people who email me regularly?
spammers
Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
bed
Four people I think will respond
mods

so fuck it if someone recognizes me.

i've been doing speed for 11 years. i love it. i have no desire to quit. i'm lonely as hell. i have one best friend and it's complicated to say the least. why does everyone treat me different when i tell them? i am an honest person, i don't steal, i have a job, i have a good heart. aren't there others like me, in my area? i guess not. fuck it.

Where is your cell phone?
Bedsidetable
Where is your significant other?
Nonexistent
What color is your hair?
Darkbrown/greyingslowly
Where is your mother?
Home?
Where is your father?
Same
What is your favorite thing?
Ummmm...
Your dream last night?
Intense
Your favorite drink?
Water
Your hobby?
Whichone?
Your fear?
Irrelevance
Where do you want to be in 6 years?
Dunno
Where were you last night?
Bar
Something that you aren't?
Skinny
wish list item?
Dunno
Last thing you did?
Exhale
What are you wearing?
Nothing
What did you watch on TV last night?
Nothing
Your pet's name?
Nonexistent
Describe your friends?
Diverse
Describe your life?
Mellow
Your mood?
Decent
Are you missing someone?
Verymuch
What do you drink?
Liquids
What kind of car do you have?
Nonexistent
Something you're not wearing?
Anything
Your favorite store?
Internet
Your favorite color?
Green
When is the last time you cried?
2009?
Who will resend this?
Bloggers
Where do you go to over and over?
Work
Five people who email me regularly?
Coworkers
Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
Tofino
Four people I think will respond
Bloggers

I just want to kill myself. Every day I'm alive brings me closer and closer to doing it. I have nothing to left to live for. Sure, a few people would miss me but nobody would really care.

I would just be another memory tucked away in the back of someones mind.

Fuck it.

Where is your cell phone?
bedroom
Where is your significant other?
sleeping
What color is your hair?
brownish
Where is your mother?
ohio
Where is your father?
ohio
What is your favorite thing?
snuggles
Your dream last night?
panicky
Your favorite drink?
beer
Your hobby?
cooking
Your fear?
spiders
Where do you want to be in 6 years?
seattle
Where were you last night?
RATM
Something that you aren't?
goonie
wish list item?
smoker
Last thing you did?
awoken
What are you wearing?
pajamas
What did you watch on TV last night?
nothing
Your pet's name?
---
Describe your friends?
colorful
Describe your life?
peculiar
Your mood?
hungry
Are you missing someone?
yes
What do you drink?
anything
What kind of car do you have?
malibu
Something you're not wearing?
undies
Your favorite store?
thinkgeek
Your favorite color?
silver
When is the last time you cried?
yesterday
Who will resend this?
BLers
Where do you go to over and over?
beach
Five people who email me regularly?
coworkers
Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
PNW
Four people I think will respond
BLcrew

and counting.

My stupid cousin takes me for a worthless drug addict. I hope she cries when she reads the mail I sent her.

Where is your cell phone?
table
Where is your significant other?
None
What color is your hair?
hair?
Where is your mother?
Pennsylvania
Where is your father?
D.C.
What is your favorite thing?
Dogs
Your dream last night?
None
Your favorite drink?
Water
Your hobby?
Weights
Your fear?
Failure
Where do you want to be in 6 years?
Here
Where were you last night?
Meeting
Something that you aren't?
Tyrannosaur
wish list item?
Bike
Last thing you did?
Ate
What are you wearing?
Jeans
What did you watch on TV last night?
Tosh
Your pet's name?
sigh
Describe your friends?
nonexistent
Describe your life?
Peaceful
Your mood?
Balanced
Are you missing someone?
Yes
What do you drink?
Water
What kind of car do you have?
Hyundai
Something you're not wearing?
Condom
Your favorite store?
Macy's
Your favorite color?
Black
When is the last time you cried?
No
Who will resend this?
Dave
Where do you go to over and over?
Gym
Five people who email me regularly?
OneWord
Favorite place I'd like to be right now?
Vagina
Four people I think will respond
Bloggers

Things are good here, the drama has died down. Unfortunately that means its got to the point where I start to worry, get jealous and second guess myself. Which is absolutely ridiculous....well I hope anyhow. See I even second guess my own thought process bah! LOL.

I don't know why I think anything of anything that will go wrong cause hell she even made youtube channel full of songs to me:

http://www.youtube.com/user/sogladimetyou2011

I dunno what to think but I am going to try to calm the fuck down and just take it one step at a time. Breathe, Breathe, relax.

Such a wonderful feeling, on the edge of this precipice.

The name you were given?
spork

Do you have a sense of who you want to be?
i think so.

Does the thought of your death scare you?
death doesn't, but what leads to death does. i don't want it to be painful.

Do you believe in reincarnation?
maybe, more towards yes these days.

Are you family oriented?
i think i would be if i had a different family. that sounds awful haha, but we're just not that close. i love them to pieces though.

Do you celebrate holidays?
some

Are you one to focus on what you want, and go after it?
if i really really want it, yes.

Are you listening to music?
no

Would people consider you, emotionally, weak?
no, i'm pretty good at hiding my emotions.

Are you, physically, weak?
embarrassingly so.

Do you believe every rumor has some truth to it?
i take every rumor with a grain of salt.

Do you ask a lot of questions?
i have them, but i don't ask them.

Are you self-centered?
i can be, but i think everyone can at times.

Are you out to prove something to the world?
no, i don't really think so. or maybe i am, but i just have yet to find out what it is i must prove.

Are you an only child?
yep

Do you have a favorite movie?
across the universe is one of my favorites.

Grilled cheese, or tacos?
tacos, oh god yes tacos.

Do you have a "best friend" or several close friends?
i have 3 soul sisters. when we're together, magic happens.

Is there one person you confide in?
i confide in different people for different things.

Are you confident?
working on it

Would people consider you 'cocky'?
i don't think so.

Do you have a favorite song?
i have several songs that i love, but not really a favorite that comes to mind.

Do you cuss often?
not as much as i used to

Have you ever felt left out?
perpetually.

Do you do your best?
if i really believe in what i'm doing.

Do you give in easily?
yeah, probably too often

Can you walk a straight line, not using your arms to balance yourself?
not if i'm trying to. definitely not.

Do people approve of you?
some do, some don't. whether they do or don't is their own problem.

Are you good with parents?
no, not really. i'm awkward with most people, but i do well with little kids. they don't judge.

Do things really get better in time?
YES

Can you play any musical instruments?
i played the clarinet in school. i got it back from my parents a couple years ago and just need to buy some reeds for it and see if i still got it.

Do you tend to be in the middle of drama often?
i try not to be, but it happens sometimes.

If so, do you think you may bring it on yourself?
sometimes.

Ever been in denial about anything?
haven't we all?

Is there someone you can tell everything to, and they love you anyways?
i think there are a few, but i don't tell anyone everything so who really knows...i might be in denial about that one

Have you made a lot of mistakes?
yes

Do you learn from your mistakes, or do the same thing time and time again?
i learn eventually.

Ever felt like no one understood you?
way too often.

Do you believe in being weak, in order to become strong?
yes, life has a way of tearing you down to build you back up.

Do you ever "baby talk"?
yep, i love my azibear.

Are you willing to help someone, who wouldn't help you?
yes

Do you judge people because of their pasts?
it depends on how distant their past is and the circumstances. i try not to.

Ever felt like it was you against the world?
uh-huh

Is there a difference in being in love, and loving someone?
yes. i love a lot of people and in different ways, but i've only truly been in love a few times.