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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I lost my family. I miss my children. My boys. My babies! My beautiful babies! What have I done!?

I do not want life anymore. There is nothing left.
 
jackie jones said:
Thank you, guys. Truly.

They are just the words that came out.
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Remember you're still a cool individual and to take care of yourself you got to remember that you're important too.

Sometimes we lose track of who we are and who we want to be, or become.

The self is not a static being, it is ever changing. Try to think about how people change over time. People grow closer and they grow apart. It is just a part of life and it's something I've been dealing with a lot these last few months. A lot.
 
madness00 said:
But it never catches up to me because i keep adjusting the lie to fit my particular situation.
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Are you able to be honest if you want it? Its hard but possible. Some things may take months but still.

I guess my mind has decided that truth is the best way to go or something. But then I make little lies, sometimes, around the truth till its more interesting.

TLDR: I dont like being called a sociopath or a psychopath cause Im doing my best.
 
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IDK i think i'm fine at being honest i just am the master of twisting shit around to allow myself to continue with antisocial behaviors in particular that aren't good for me. At least that's what my therapist tells me.
 
Have the shakes. This hasn't happened in a while. I had a small snack in case its blood sugar-related but maybe my body's just shutting down from stress. god this fucking sucks
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Remember you're still a cool individual and to take care of yourself you got to remember that you're important too.

Sometimes we lose track of who we are and who we want to be, or become.

The self is not a static being, it is ever changing. Try to think about how people change over time. People grow closer and they grow apart. It is just a part of life and it's something I've been dealing with a lot these last few months. A lot.
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I used to be daddy, and that was all I ever wanted. I still provide for them however I can. Specifically, I shoplift for them and get them things to make them happy, however superficial it is, at least I am doing something. I am missing so much though. Going day camping. Bringing them to the fish hatchery. Driving in the country and finding turtles. Just playing and making them smile. The way we used to be.

I cannot be philosophical about it.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Remember you're still a cool individual and to take care of yourself you got to remember that you're important too.

Sometimes we lose track of who we are and who we want to be, or become.

The self is not a static being, it is ever changing. Try to think about how people change over time. People grow closer and they grow apart. It is just a part of life and it's something I've been dealing with a lot these last few months. A lot.
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Nice advice! I like the positivity amidst the difficulty of what others are going through.
 
I had a therapist appt Thursday. My therapist was only doing sessions over the phone and Skype. I told them I’d just call in April and reschedule.

What am I going to say over the phone to him anyway? “Life fucking sucks. I don’t care about anything. Ok, Bye.”

Waste of time.
 
Similar thing happened here. In-person therapy is so important, at least for me, because my therapist can often tell when i'm lying based on my body language. And probably similar things can be deducted from the body language as well. Plus it's just wicked impersonal over the phone.. Don't give them your money for doing nothing!Lol.

For me it is hard to find things i "care" about, but i can think about it like a quarantine, because why not. What would i take with me into quarantine? Maybe family member, food, pet, music? What would i do if i were there for a year? Read up on stuff? Work out? Would i get bored and try to find other quarantined people and make connections with them?

IDK - too little time to do things we don't care about, and too much time to convince ourselves that none of it matters.
 
If I end up in the shrine, do not be sad for me or question what could have been done. It is what I want.
 
Okay.

I wonder if we asked everyone in the shrine if they could have a second chance, how many would take it.

It would be interesting.

Because death is inevitable and forever. I know i'm going to die eventually. But the prospect of a potentially even slightly better tomorrow keeps me alive.

New experiences. New feelings. New people.
 
madness00 said:
Similar thing happened here. In-person therapy is so important, at least for me, because my therapist can often tell when i'm lying based on my body language. And probably similar things can be deducted from the body language as well. Plus it's just wicked impersonal over the phone.. Don't give them your money for doing nothing!Lol.

For me it is hard to find things i "care" about, but i can think about it like a quarantine, because why not. What would i take with me into quarantine? Maybe family member, food, pet, music? What would i do if i were there for a year? Read up on stuff? Work out? Would i get bored and try to find other quarantined people and make connections with them?

IDK - too little time to do things we don't care about, and too much time to convince ourselves that none of it matters.
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If I spoke to my therapist on the phone, I’d just say “Life sucks and I regret being born. OK BYE!!!”
 
clicked on this thread to mention the same thing. i do not see my therapist again for at least a month due to the virus scare. he wants me to send him an email once every friday, which is quite basic like your's CTC. i say, 'i'm eating, sleeping, and not doing dope" and he replies "good, good."

prior to this i'd been seeing him in person once a week. for over a year now. i look forward to the appointments. i've seen over 20 therapist and he's one of two i trust. the other was a pediatric therapist when i was 15. on the bright side, i also look forward to the cash. the emails are free; i made sure.

therapy is stupid expensive. i can't go see whoever my insurance will cover, because they're medicaid and i don't even to want them to know i'm mentally ill.
 
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