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Mental Health Mental Illness Support Thread V. How do you feel?

I’m feeling exhausted today, literally exhausted from doing nothing. Mentally exhausted! I need to be beside the sea to get some salt air into the lungs.
My startle reflex is high for some odd reason too and even laughing causes me slight anxiety. Think I’ll take 6mg diazepam to calm myself down.
Hope everyone else is doing good!
 
schizopath said:
Existential crisis at 25. Feeling pretty depressed. I cant stop thinking that people who bullied me back in the day were right after all.
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No one deserves to be bullied. But I understand it's not your rationale, but your inert, undesired feeling that broke into your Inland Empire. Self-reproach probably ties into your habitual amphetamine use. In any case, the mind is always focused on something. It might as well be positive thoughts. But you're just gonna keep up your amphetamine abuse so it's nigh impossible.

Tell me, are you able to obey yourself? Are you able to have the strength to start commanding God so that he obey's you?
 
madness00 said:
David Lynch fan?

Yes, i'm stalking you.
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I got that pseudo-philosophical jazz from a videogame im obsessed with called Disco Elysium. Fuck, it's so good if you like RPG's. Listen to this writing:

​


Damn, that is some great William Borrough's "Naked Lunch" shit.

You can stalk me, but I think that's a pretty boring hobby.
 
madness00 said:
Do you think it could be the change in sunlight? Or anything you can pinpoint?
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Weirdly enough today has been fine, no problem at all. Only difference I can think of is yesterday I smoked amnesia haze hash and today I smoked bud of some sort.
 
Flower power!

Smoking weed gives me perspective. Makes me more aware of things that surround my life, physically and mentally.

Not a fix-all, but in moderation a very powerful tool, IMO.

Anyway, good to hear.
 
schizopath said:
The way I see it, any talk with a stranger is small talk. It has no substance and is just boring. So its the same for me.

Id much rather talk about the meaning of things or just some next level craziness.
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Yesss...this is so me. Surface conversation is a complete waste of time to me and I tend to dive deeper sooner than others. For those who like taking things too slow or are prudish about certain things, they wouldn’t like it, but oh well. If we can’t have a deeper conversation or if you’re too uptight, I don’t need to deal with you anyway. It’s a nice way to weed people out.

More and more, I’m wondering if I’m on the spectrum or something.

I need to call the clinic and see if my therapist is seeing patients again or no. I turned down doing a session over the phone last month...just seemed like it would be too weird.
 
Oh, I started watching this movie on Amazon called ‘Third Contact’. A therapist is trying to figure out why 2 of his patients committed suicide. In the beginning, a patient is calling the therapist out on his bullshit and the therapist said the best thing ever:

“There’s nothing wrong with you. Do you get it? There’s nothing wrong with you! Take a look around you: War, famine, disease, poverty, death...of course you’re fucking depressed! Happiness with everything going on, now that’s an irrational frame of mind. So my job is to go around encouraging people to be irrational by being happy.“

Ah, if only all therapists were that honest. It’s not based on a true story, but it was refreshing.
 
madness00 said:
Flower power!

Smoking weed gives me perspective. Makes me more aware of things that surround my life, physically and mentally.

Not a fix-all, but in moderation a very powerful tool, IMO.

Anyway, good to hear.
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Weed was always the one drug that sent me absolutely nuts. Like super anxious and crazy. I tried so many strains and different ROA but it was all the same. My heart rate shot through the roof, my hearing became over sensitised and smell. It was absolutely awful so I haven’t touched it again and won’t. Same with mushrooms, they have sent me nuts. The only drugs I’ve handled are synthetic chemicals.
 
It's funny how things work. Heroin makes me puke all day, and meth I can tolerate high doses, while just yesterday in The Lounge a couple people said they can tolerate heroin, but meth makes them puke. And amphetamines.. some people slow down, some speed up.

But the thing that we all need to figure out, is how to handle sobriety. Because it's how we spend the majority of our life (for most people).

So glad you know weed doesn't work. Process of elimination.
 
Finally near a place where I can call normal. It's not nice being forced into a medically induced coma for years just because you experienced something that "isn't a thing"... at least not in America.

*I may have exaggerated on this post.
 
A good thing to come out of this mess is I found out my psychiatrist is going to call me later for my appointment. No dumb Face Time, just a phone call and he will send my scripts over. Thank God!

I was about to try to get ready to go to the clinic for my appointment because there’s been an answering service all week and I couldn’t get ahold of anyone at all. A secretary called me this morning to tell me what’s going on.
 
madness00 said:
So far no mood change for the spring, which is great in regards to stability and over all mental health, but i always do enjoy some hypomania.

Very stable. Almost too stable, to the point of chronic bordem.

Therapist keeps emailing me asking how i'm doing, i tell her i'm fine and that Kitty is good too.
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Awwww kitty!!!! Love her! :)
 
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