How young is too young?

[scureto1]

I'm not even sure what Pharcyde is talking about in his post - I raised a theoretical question and he's saying that I did something and he's going to smash me? Sure, sounds like a perfectly reasonable person with a valid opinion.

And Genericmind what I'm getting at is the question of when you think a girl/woman is capable of making the decision for herself whether she wants to have sex. Is it at 18, simply because that is the cutoff for adulthood here in the US? Does that mean its okay for a 12 year old girl to have sex as long as she's Japanese (age of consent in Japan is 12)? I agree that you have that right and authority if we are talking about your own daughter - that puts her under your protection and authority. But what makes you think you have the right to decide for a sister if she is to be allowed to have consensual sex or not? Don't you think that is pretty insulting to her, for you to assert that you know better than she does what is okay for her to do? (I am referring to 1 teen to another teen sex here, not child/adult sex).

I also notice that no one answered about whether they'd want a female friend to smash a 21-24 year old woman for having sex with their 14-16 year old brother.

 

[GenericMind]

But what makes you think you have the right to decide for a sister if she is to be allowed to have consensual sex or not?

I'm her older brother. She's a minor. I'm looking out for her best interests and she knows that. I'm not sure what kind of family you live in, but in mine younger siblings respect and listen to their older siblings.

Don't you think that is pretty insulting to her, for you to assert that you know better than she does what is okay for her to do?

No I don't think it's insulting to her, because I do better than her what's ok for her to do and not do. She's a minor. I'm an adult. I have more experience in life than her.

I also notice that no one answered about whether they'd want a female friend to smash a 21-24 year old woman for having sex with their 14-16 year old brother.

No, I'd simply see that it stopped. If she persisted and wouldn't leave the brother alone, then yes, I'd probably get a female friend involved to persuade her with force.

 

[coopie]

I think of how immature and naiive I was at 15/16 - and then I think of my relationship with my ex when we were both 21. There's no way 15 yr old me could handle a relationship with my ex when he was 21 - but it was no problem when we were both the same age. I don't see a 15/16 yr old teenager being very emotionally equipped/relationship savvy enough for a relationship with an adult, no matter the extent of previous relationship/life experience. Young = dumb (no offense intended)

+ My ex did the school girl thing (barely legal) and he told me she turned pyscho stalker when we wanted to end it (like glen close style), he went out of his way to avoid her years later. I'm not saying all 15/16 year olds would become unhinged over a break up - but there emotional, hormonal and immature - the risk is high, IMO.

 

[mludd]

No, I'd simply see that it stopped. If she persisted and wouldn't leave the brother alone, then yes, I'd probably get a female friend involved to persuade her with force.

So you're saying there's a double standard at work?

 

[GenericMind]

If you consider trying to avoid violence against a female a double standard, then yes.

 

[mludd]

If you consider trying to avoid violence against a female a double standard, then yes.

Well, if you don't try to avoid violence toward a male to the same degree then it is a double standard. It also implies that you feel that women/girls need to be protected from situations that men/boys don't need to be protected from.

 

[GenericMind]

No, that's not what it implies. It implies that one instance I can handle myself while the other instance requires involving another person, which is more difficult. Both situations result in the same outcome: The male or female pedo stays away from my family member.

 

[mludd]

No, that's not what it implies. It implies that one instance I can handle myself while the other instance requires involving another person, which is more difficult. Both situations result in the same outcome: The male or female pedo stays away from my family member.

Someone who wants to have/is having sex with a 14-16 year old is hardly a pedophile.

 

[GenericMind]

Predator, pedophile, call it whatever you want. My opinion remains the same.

 

[mludd]

Predator, pedophile, call it whatever you want. My opinion remains the same.

I think you should try looking up the relevant definitions of those words before you use them, it would really help the discussion.

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

I would personally say that someone who is above 16 and having sex with a 14 year old is a paedo. Period.

Slight grey area with 15 & 16 couple fucking...pretty much the same age/development - just a law between the two, so I think that's actually OK(here in the UK the age of consent is 16, but if you're 16 and they're 14/15, and you sleep together I'm pretty sure in most cases nothing would happen).

If you're going to have sex when you're 14 - do it with someone your age or a year older - this rule I would say applies til you get to about 17.

After that any guy who systematically goes for barely legal girls is suspicious as fuck...get a girl your own age!

I agree with Mike (GM) - I think child sex offenders should be castrated (don't really agree with capital punishment), and maybe have a brand on their face/side of the neck with a 'P'.

At the moment my brother's friend is sleeping with a famous rock stars daughter, they're actually together, but he's 18 going on 19 and she's not 16 for another 4 months. I think in that situation it's a case by case basis - she seduced him the first time they slept together, like a lil jungle cat pouncing on a gazelle - was quite funny the story a few days later.

With this one here OP - it seems you've made the right decision. Maybe see how old she actually is, then maybe be cautious friends until she's around 17/18?? Or just forget it completely, and wait til you find someone who's closer to your age (with any luck a bit older )

Peace

 

[GenericMind]

I think you should try looking up the relevant definitions of those words before you use them, it would really help the discussion.

I think I'm aware of the definitions and, for the sake of this discussion, consider them all in the same category. Deal with it.

 

[mludd]

I would personally say that someone who is above 16 and having sex with a 14 year old is a paedo. Period.

And you'd most likely be just as wrong as GenericMind. Pedophiles are those who are primarily interested in prepubescent children, someone who is primarily interested in children in early adolescence is known as a hebephile and someone primarily interested in those in mid-to-late adolescence (teenagers) is known as an ephebophile.

 

[mludd]

I think I'm aware of the definitions and, for the sake of this discussion, consider them all in the same category. Deal with it.

Well then, you're wrong and happy to be wrong so I see no point in continuing this discussion.

 

[GenericMind]

And you'd most likely be just as wrong as GenericMind. Pedophiles are those who are primarily interested in prepubescent children, someone who is primarily interested in children in early adolescence is known as a hebephile and someone primarily interested in those in mid-to-late adolescence (teenagers) is known as an ephebophile.

And I view every one of those subcategories with the exact same disdain, think they should be treated the same, and think are all equally as deplorable.

So again, it's irrelevant.

 

[Jblazingphoenix100]

And you'd most likely be just as wrong as GenericMind. Pedophiles are those who are primarily interested in prepubescent children, someone who is primarily interested in children in early adolescence is known as a hebephile and someone primarily interested in those in mid-to-late adolescence (teenagers) is known as an ephebophile.

That's just semantics - end of the day, it's too young/twisted/not cool - emotionally/physically just not right.

 

[Pharcyde]

I'm not even sure what Pharcyde is talking about in his post - I raised a theoretical question and he's saying that I did something and he's going to smash me? Sure, sounds like a perfectly reasonable person with a valid opinion.

no no no you misunderstood or I didnt express it right.............any and all sex offenders I would smash

 

[scureto1]

no no no you misunderstood or I didnt express it right.............any and all sex offenders I would smash

What I was trying to do with my questions was clear up the point that lumping everything that involves sex in a form you don't approve of into one mass category is a kind of irrational way to look at it. I can totally understand you hating people who prey on children and I get behind that completely, but "sex offender" is such a blanket label to throw on people and it colors a lot of people who don't really deserve to be in the same category as a child rapist.

A 55 year old man in Japan who has sex with a 13 year old girl is not a sex offender but he's probably still exploiting her and possibly even harming her. Not a sex offender, probably DOES deserve smashing.

A 19 year old guy in the U.S. having sex with his 16 year old girlfriend might get the label sex offender if he was unlucky enough - his girlfriend would probably be just as upset or more upset than he was if it happened. Sex offender, probably DOES NOT deserve smashing.

It isn't as simple as you are trying to make it.

 

[GenericMind]

I don't think Pharcyde meant to imply that his definition of "Sex Offender" has anything to do with the various legal definitions in different countries.

 

[Pharcyde]

I dont chomos are chomos are chomos