Blogs

August 5th, 2013 - A day which will live in stinky infamy, I went to drop off the kids at the pool. My kids are quite tougher, denser, and fatter than most, because daddy has chronic constipation.

Anyways, the expected happened, again. Yes, again, I flooded the toilet. And the plunger couldn't deal with this serious kind of shit.

So I picked up my trusty auger and went deep. I could feel it bustin' through several layers of unyielding turds. Boy was I happy that I could flush again.

After a job well done, I began to retract the auger, but noticed it's stuck on something hard. With my surgeon hands, I gently went back and forth in an attempt to dislodge and hopefully not have to deal with anymore of this caca, but no luck.

I eventually lost my patience, and applied MANLY force. As a result, the auger soon proceeded to swiftly exit the shit-hole, with some stubborn turds attached. The intense recoil then flung various pieces of feces in a circle pattern all across the bathroom walls.

Apart from the walls, mirrors and myself, items which received a baptism of doodoo included our toothbrushes, combs, mouthwash, shampoo, soap, towels, rinse cups, sink, dentures, and q-tips. But hey - at least my face was spared!

Among the comments made from amused family members was this gem: "You don't take shit from no one - except yourself!" Har har har.

Till next time, goodbye bitches.

I just don't think I can take the constant nerve pain anymore, I'll miss you my brothers!

Oh and FadedJoe(you know who you are!) I hope you fucking rot you lying fuck! I know you know as you would have tested like I told you but noo, you greedy fuck, even after I begged your bitch to switch the trade you wouldn't because your one of those MDMA obsessed faggots who want to roll 24/7....

Jeremy'sDemo is probably an UC, he claims to not want to use the names of synth noids? He's apart of some completely open site like chemsrus or something to that effect looking to buy anything he can, yet that dumb MF'er wants to use wish wash to hide it? You tell me if you find that shady. Oh and when I gave him a supplier if exchange for one he knew of with AB-FUBINACA. He gave me some two bit mostly scam looking site anyone with half a brain could find, (almost like the now defunct ECchems) decide yet whimpers like some bitch ass pussy when I give him a legit over seas supplier with a fair track record....? Strange.....? You tell me but unless he's a twelve year old...... Oh and fuck you JD for crying when I gave you a legit source and you gave me like two a god damn baby could find, not to mention nearly non-existent on SoS...
Have a grand one!

it has been a year since i moved back here. in a weird turn of events, unglued and i get along better than we did when we split. i think living in so cal forced us to have a more traditional relationship and that obviously didn't work out so well. i'm still dating, which is fun. nothing serious, it is more like finding friends with benefits, or as vgoraz says "fucking with a side of dating".

i'm a lot happier now that i've stopped caring what other people think. i am content with being weird. this is prolly the first time that i am not self conscious about how i fit into various labels. i suppose it took 31 years, but i am not trying to be everything to everyone (who can resist quoting everclear?)

Rant about losing Stim Rant
---------------------------------------------Starting around 5:20am this morning, I spent 2 hours writing, editing, rewriting and condensing the ultimate Stim-Rant of the century, whilst tripping simultaneously, as a result of a multi-day binge on MPA, 5-MeO-DALT, Alcohol and Sleep Deprivation.
Apparently, BL (which is henceforth an entity in itself) didn't appreciate my frantic tap-tap-tapping away at the keypad with the enthusiasm of a spoiled child at Christmas after a double dose of Ritalin. BL found it more suitable to not submit my post, blaming a 'missing security token', whilst making it impossible to access my post by going back a page, which I can do every single other time.

T'was a Fucked Sprout as I was writing, but now I'm both coming down hard and incredibly pissed off about losing my Stim-Rant. Bad times.

---------------------------------------------


Version of Stim-Rant after some editing, I think, definitely not original.
---------------------------------------------

Fuckedy-fuck-fucked is ol' Sprout.
Had 3.5g of each MPA and 5-MeO-DALT delivered on Wednesday. What started as a low dose of MPA to check I wasn't sold bunk has become the most functional binge I've ever been on. Had 4 hours sleep in the last 72 hours, in addition to minimal solid food intake, though I have been consuming protein/meal replacement shakes and various vitamins/supplements/minerals etc. to ensure my body isn't entirely depleted. I have barely been 'not high' since the package arrived. I've been dumping MPA into bottled water and drinking it constantly, at higher and higher concentrations, sometimes alongside 5-MeO. The first dose of MPA was 30mg dissolved in water and consumed over 15 minutes. After 2 hours I thought to myself 'This is shit, I barely feel altered'. Then the last 2 hours became clear: I had cleaned, no, blitzed the kitchen, hallway, living room and bathroom. I didn't even realise how effective MPA was being until it began wearing off. I felt zero difference between sobriety and high, but the effects were obvious on retrospect.
Thursday I worked for 16 hours straight on University assignments and by Friday morning (zero sleep) I'd completed all my work, along with the work of 7 (!) other people due to their sheer fucking laziness: A mini dissertation and group presentation that was supposed to take 8 people an entire week ended up being done by my completely gacked out self in just over 4 hours.
Friday (I think?): MPA throughout the morning, 3 drinks in the pub at 3pm, before heading home to get ready for going out 'on the town' that night. 11:30pm myself and 10 others leave for the club, after I consumed several rather sizeable doses of both MPA and 5-MeO-DALT. Fairly average club night - Deep House, not my thing but couldn't help dancing like a spastic octopus with no rhythm, ha! 30mg 5-MeO-DALT bombed and 3 small MPA redoses were eaten as raw powder - the cat piss flavour of good Phet alongside that yummy, Sulphurous Thiophene ring. Redoses ~30-45mins apart (I think: sense of time fucked). Had the wrong time memorised for the last bus to my town from Manchester - it left at 2:15am, as opposed to 2:30 like I thought, leaving a very pissed off Sprout when I got to the bus stop at 2:20am. Had to get the only other bus running anywhere near my place. Jumped on said bus as it arrived promptly at 3am to drunken jeers of Manchester's dregs. Got off at 3:40am and had an 8-mile walk at stupid hours of the morning, alone, in the freezing cold, with a 'waking hangover' and a stim crash with typical Tryptamine Stomach. Obviously I justified re-dosing MPA and added a ridiculous amount of it, ~400mg to approx 100ml water. Ended up drinking half of it to wash down a finger dab of 5-MeO
Fell through front door at 5ish, watched sunrise while tripping, amazing.
Cue me stood in kitchen corner at 6/7am as a sweaty, hardcore gurning, heavy tripping watching sunlight filter through steel blinds and explode into colours. Primary mostly, some secondary.
Oh, one more thing: I gave 2 friends of mine some MPA before we left for, and while at, the club, no more than 125mg each total (including redoses) and they both said it felt 'like MD(MA) but smoother ... streamlined'. One of them spent most of the night frantically jaw gnashing, eyes wide, pupils dialated extremely, announcing 'This feels so fucking goooood!' repeatedly.
The comparison to MDMA shocked me as I get zero empathy and tactile euphoria unless I add some 5-MeO.
I think the pair of them comparing it to MD says more about the quality of the '£35 a gram' (price alone says it all) 'brown powder' (again; the fuck?) 'MDMA' they are used to than it does about MPA. I imagine it is nothing more than low dose speed, the cheapest empathogen their dealer can get, dyed brown and cut with brown sugar. Hell, maybe Bisto!

---------------------------------------------

This rant is not V1, the original piece is irrecoverable. This was edited in some places at some point in the AM on Saturday, I don't remember doing it but my memory is shot.
Note: change in language usage, syntax, grammar, punctuation and overall tone.
It took so long to write that I was dosing, writing while high, writing while crashing, and writing while getting close to baseline.
---------------------------------------------
It is 1:30am on Sunday morning as I type this, mental state has deteriorated, massively. Sleep Deprivation Hallucinations began at 8/9am on Saturday, tunnel vision, things on visual periphery were, and are, compressed, still images appearing to move as if a video. Bodily/mental state continued to worsen as hours went by. At 3pm on Saturday I was stood upright watching TV. According to my brother: in the space of a few seconds my chin tucked towards my chest with high velocity and I collapsed into a heap on the floor. I do not remember this happening. I do remember awakening with a shock, a huge buzzing noise in my ears, and seeing a pile of clothing in the corner begin to move towards me, growling, hissing and snarling as it did. A panic attack ensued.

Everyone is a selfish deluded idiot! Nobody will look twice at this.

Everybody deceives everybody. All I want is to know that I'm not alone. I feel like that even on BL I am alone. Nothing I say seems to interest people, throughout all of my life I have tried to integrate into society. To be 'normal'. Everything I try seems to fail.

Nobody cares about anybody but themselves! This makes me angry! Then I realize that I am not much different sometimes, this scares me. Are there good people out there? Are we all narcissistic? Is altruism only an investment for a possible personal advantage?

Life is one big complexity, we can never know anything as an absolute certainty because our perceptions can deceive us. I can't trust anyone completely. Is this just the way life is? Is it really everyone for themselves? I'm so scared of being hurt again.

I'm in my early 20s. I work full time and I hope to re-enroll in university. I wanted to study Neuropharmacology, recent events however have made me want to just understand the complexity of the human brain.


Psychology - How can I protect myself from this big bad world?


Why do we lie? why do we cheat? Why do we even take drugs? How do they affect our brain chemistry/ physicality/ psychology? We all seem to be slaves to our own psychology, no matter how much we know about it.

I try to connect with people but nobody seems to see things the way I do, and when they do, I don't believe it. They could be trying to use me for their own needs, right? How do I know what and who I can trust?

The sad (and purely pessimistic) thing is that there are so many blogs on here that nobody will likely read all of this or take notice, nevermind think to comment.

If life is just a ride then why has it taken me here?

Why am I a slave to my job? I used to be so anti-conformist! Living on the dole in a rented flat smoking MDPV with close friends who I could trust with my life, now only to find that almost every one of them is either a cheater/ liar or on some form of medication.

Is this just part of growing up? Am I destined to work forever and feel trapped? I was much happier learning from free sources on the internet whilst on the dole, I felt like I was actually progressing as a person. Now I just feel numbed by the conventions of the average working class person.


I can only pray that whatever 'god' or guiding force in this ever so fractile and complex universe can show me a way out.


I can only hope that I'm not alone. I feel socially inept, a bit insane and out of place.

Got bored a few months ago and wrote a random poemy thing. or whatever it is. turned out more like a rap verse. first time i had bothered to write one

First of all i can neither rap nor usually rhyme,
But this sort of stuff pops into my head from time to time
The irony of society has always been funny to me
A nation obsessed with material objects and money
The integrity of a nation defined by a concentration of media manipulation
Endless bad news in papers and on every tv news station
Get arrested in a pub for illegal drugs when alcohol is one of the worst
Fuck up your body, domestic violence, hurt, get raped, cry to a nurse,
Question everything, realize lies that demonize people until their own demise,
Enlightenment, internal revelations beyond limitation take you by surprise
As time mysteriously flows and flys,
What really matters, thats for you to decide

"Don't ever let anyone else's bullshit dictate your happiness. You only get one shot at life, so make it count."

“Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust. You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode. So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today.”
― Lawrence M. Krauss

"The truth is, you don't know what's going to happen, life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed." - Eminem

“Every person is unique. the most important thing is always be true to yourself”

“Being yourself is like showing your soul to the world, being somebody else is like showing your shadow in the dark.”

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty." - Winston Churchill

"I have realized that the past and future are real illusions, that they exist in the present - which is what there is and all there is." Alan Watts

“Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today.”

"Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be." - George Carlin

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.” -Jimi hendrix

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away." - shing xiong

"you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick." - George carlin

"Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience."

"The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain."

“Limitations live only in our minds. But if we use our imaginations, our possibilities become limitless.”

http://Cool Hand Flex & Ron MC Crew Kool FM 1995[video=youtube_share;_iCCdW-019o]http://youtu.be/_iCCdW-019o[/video]

nuff said

WE run tings tings no run we


this our sound n we r proud y'na got dis riddim anywhere

BIG UP KOOL FM London .%)




like it na luv it

I was a courier. There were many more couriors than normal in and out of the place I went to. There were cones at the entrance and across the road, and I sped in and seemed to come close to hitting someone. Not close, but they were also driving. Theresa- a girl who worked at my old company has just recently started working for us. This is the same client I have served for awhile, since I was with the other company. I switched over because they went to this company. For some reason I was sticking around there for a good amount of time. I remember Theresa holding a baby. Recently in life she introduced me to her "baby"- a dog. The baby she was holding looked like a newborn. Someone else was holding it at first, wrapped up tightly in blankets. There was also seemingly a cracked egg, on a neckless (?). It was brown/ruddy. The newborn baby spoke with a grown man's voice, with knowledge about something.

I was waiting at the hub where we pick up. Usually John does this, waiting for orders to come in. My route goes really far south, so I don't handle many of the local deliveries, as I am gone for at least 6 hours, usually. But this night in this dream, I was back at midnight. And I'd usually go home... But I didn't. And there was Pizza there. And this seemed common that John or I think it was John, would buy pizza, and leave it out for everyone. I remember in some part of the dream, before, I ate pizza, and drank beer even. Like my treatment had worked and I could tolerate these foods. I remember going to the grocery and picking up this rolled up pizza that was in the frozen/cold section, but was ready and warm. I was still hesitant to eat this pizza, that John got. The Cheese, mainly. Dairy was is of my worst allergies. I took a piece of pepperoni, somewhat smaller than the others, and laid it on top of the cheese pizza, which was laying on top of the pepperoni. The pizza was Pizza Hut, or Pizza King. And then, I remember going to the bathroom. And suddenly I was in John's van, in his passengers seat, going there. Like there was a toilet in that position. And I seemed to be down the road from the hub where I pick up. Everything was coming out fine but then I felt a sort of block happens and I felt I might have to reach down there and pull it out. Then I just stopped going. I may have woke up feeling like I really had to go, but didn't really have to.

Perhaps when I went back to sleep I remember being with family. And once again eating and drinking things I normally wouldn't. Or on the verge. The pizza, before, I had one bite. And nothing bad happened. But I fear it.

I was in a parking lot of a block of stores adjacent to where a family who I worked for in one block also had another store. I worked at their natural foods store, and this was like a greeting card and party store. Jeff- the owner, was sitting outside. I am in debt to them, and they don't know. I never fully paid my tab from when I worked with them. I have a hard time paying it because I don't want to seem awkward. Right now its kind of lose lose. Here, I had gum in my mouth. A lot of gum. And I started to choke, about. And I think I almost reached in to grab it. But I may have swallowed it. Or became unconscious. Family was near, but some distance. I think some people may have been on their way to assist me.

Was with family. At my grandmas. Drugs seemed to be involved. I found a website/blog by looking at a map. There was a white area, where you could hover over it, in something like Google Maps, and the white was made up of blocks. The first one I landed on, it was like synchronicity. My ex girlfriends father, one who really liked me, for whatever reason, had written things. The timing seemed around the time Alisha, an ex, would have received a message asking her to marry me. There were pictures of her, I think, and then I saw above, and this was surprising, pictures of my family... A family picture at my deceased Grandmas, where we were. Each blog entry was marked with a picture of him. I was really curious how he got the picture of us. That Alisha may have given it to him, but was curious why I mattered to him. And that maybe I misjudged how much Alisha was into me. I seemed to lose the page. Then found it. And after the date that she received the message and I sort of reneged, there was a picture of her Jeep... Her red Jeep, wrecked. Windows all shattered, but intact. Cracks spreading out from points. In one. Others fractured and opaque. Then I lost the page, and kept trying to find it... Searching maps around Henderson, TN. The white areas. I wasn't having much luck. I wanted to study. Reflect.

My family went out. The lost page was still on my mind. We went to the market... Seemingly a Whole Foods. And my brother we ran I to an in my dream old good friend of his, that he had to separate from. The friend was working there. And better off. So was my brother. And my brother was a lot fatter before. This guy maybe too. And looked better now. He was arranging produce. They seemed to be partners back then.

Outside... My mom was going to buy beer for young girls, near a Rally's. This is out of character. And they had someone old enough anyways. Mom said she couldn't then.

I found a caterpillar, when we were somewhere. It was green, and large. And I kept scooping it up in a small glass jar- letting it crawl in, to put it outside. But it was smart, and kept coming back in. I commented to my mother, about it. And referenced moths or butterflies. Their complexity. And I saw eyes on it looking back and forth... Surveying, aware. Then, it was full grown cat. I wondered if it was a mimic. If I should worry about it, it coming from something like an insect. But it was very much a cat. Long haired. Grayish with black hair, and perhaps a hint of the green caterpillar it came from. It used its claws on me... but like a normal cat, didn't seem bent on really hurting me.

Somewhere with lots of people, my hand felt swollen in the palm. Painful. I saw a splinter. I applied pressure below it and pushed forward, and it popped out clean, but with pus and a translucent red goo attached, mostly on one end. I seemed to be another person, but me. Like I was watching a movie. Experiencing the thought and feeling of another perhaps. The splinter became large. And firm. About an inch long, and black. I stuck it in the eye of a man, and killed him I think. I was simultaneously simply me as a witness and knew what happened. But it was also separate. But the splinter also had a purpose. Did the man die? I forget. I know it was snuck in as a splinter. Or that's what I deduced. And men were wearing hats. Top hat like. But the smaller top hat. And rounded.

Then there was a certain regression. I remembered how my mother and a friend of hers became friends. And how I and perhaps my sister and brother became friends with some others, through my mothers friendship. I saw us as children.

Then I started trying to find Randy, Alisha's dad. I physically went to these places on the map and asked about him. Two men seemed to know who he was. They got information. I found out he used drugs. And it seems Alisha told me, or someone associated, here, that he used drugs up until she was born. He seemed a wild one. And I was jealous. How wild he could be, and how rich he had become. How healthy. I continued searching, and found myself in some house. Nobody was home. But then they were. Many cushions. Blue was a major color. They seemed to be expecting me. And I was there to rememeber. My own history.

And this seemed in the future, but I was my same age. And a cop pulled over for no reason when I was on the side of a road. Dirt. Red dirt, it seems. Orange. Maybe. Lots of trees around. Like Gatlinburg area or close. The cop seemed as if I did nothing wrong, but ordered a who gang of guys to beat me. I had memory of this happening to others. But I had done nothing, except maybe I didn't do something that would mean I call myself subordinate? Or lay down. So they beat me. Around 20 of them. And this happened many times. They seemed to be like the "unsullied" in the Game of Thrones show. Light darker skinned. The cop was closest to the leader one... I don't remember his name.

There was a place of work. Cutting wood. I was disobedient. I didn't feel I should have to do what they tell me to.

Then I ran. I ran, around a block. I was in my vibram five finger shoes. I seemed to be able to run easily. Then I was running in a marathon. And at a... stoplight I got behind the girl I was competing with. And she got ahead because cars were blocking my way to turn... I had to wait. But then I was in a car. And so was she. And I couldn't break the speed limit too much. And I saw red dirt. Red clay. Going down a hill. The road seeemed cut into quite a lot of it. Then there was water, which I drove through slowly. Quite a lot. A river overflowing. But it was shallow. And clear. On the other side, or still in, a man, Black, was walking.

Last night I dreamt I was curious about dating girls, who were in prison.

And I was trying to teach my mom, and perhaps another girl, how to play the game, Dark Souls/DS2. Specifically, I was showing them how to use a bow with poison arrows. I rarely use poison in the game.

One girl was Black. Her parents were with her. She had been at work, released for work. And she was going back. She had short hair. I wanted to ask her out, but something stopped me.

Another girl was a dirty blond, White. A bit taller than the other. And I seemed to become more involved with her in the time before she had to be locked up.

The environment seemed to resemble Dark Souls. And by playing it, it was as if we were in it. But it was still a game, even though integrated.

Title says it. Last update was in March, so here's 11 months' worth of work condensed into 4 images...(seems a bit of a strict cap, bluelight!).

It all started back in july 2012. I was working at a plantation warehouse, making almost a stack a week.
I used to be a 'hardcore' stoner, but I dropped that habit awhile back. My only interests at the time were driving & cars.
I could care less about anything else. I guess I already had the whole 'junkie' mentality going on. The "Fuck it" attitude.
Anyways, it all began with a single phone call.. one of my childhood friends called me, asking for a ride to camden. I happily obliged. I mean,
I had nothing else to do at the time, and she was putting up money for the ride.. So the adventure begins..

Initially I thought I was just picking her up, but her junkie boyfriend came along as well. I didn't mind. The more the merrier. Whatever.
It was about an hour and a half round trip. I vividly remember the first time entering camden.. It wasn't impressive by any means..
I'll be honest, it looked like a shithole. I locked the doors on the car. I'll admit, for my first time in camden, I was a bit scared, but I think I handled myself well.
Anyways, her boyfriend gets out with the money and heads around the corner.. Seconds seemed like minutes, and minutes seemed like hours..
Finally, about 5 minutes goes by and he comes back with the H. They told me to head out of camden & go to this gas station that was close by so we could do our junk..
We arrive at the gas station, and I recieve 2 bags.. I had no idea what to do with it.. I definitely wasn't going to shoot up for my first time.
Neither of them were shooters, so I simply followed their process of getting high. Dump it out, chop it up, and snort away.


That feeling. God that feeling was so right. Nothing mattered, no worries, everything would be ok. I fell in love with it.
Just one bag and all your worries wash away completely. I was comfortably numb. It couldn't get any better than that. And.. it never did.
For about 6 months I frequently drove amanda & brandon to camden to cop dope. I wouldn't say I was addicted to H.. not yet, atleast.
It took about 3 months before I was deep in the rabbit hole. Withdrawaling like a bitch laying in bed, hoping some plan would unfold..
& With this couple I was hanging out with.. there was always a plan in the making. It usually involved me as the driver, most of the time.
B & E's, finding receipts paid by cash on the ground & stealing merchandise from large franchises', scraping junk metal.. etc.. the usual.
My dislike for the couple only grew from that point on. These two were horrible people. If it wasn't for them, I probably wouldn't have a criminal record.
It got to the point where I resented them once I found out their true motives, which was, "Screw everyone & everything."

Their plan all along was to get me addicted to junk so they would have a reliable ride to go cop. & Honestly, I didn't hate them for that.
I hated them because they were straight up scum. They were always plotting for a way to scam or rob. So after 6 months of bullshit I had it.
I cut them off, and ignored them. This was also around the time when I switched to the needle. & It was glorious.
I rode solo for awhile until I found a friend who wouldn't fuck me over. That friend was ben. He was a straight up guy, I liked him.
He reminded me of myself so much, and the best part was, he had his own vehicle. He's the kind of guy who would do everything in his power to get you a bag if you were sick.
So for the next couple of months I was copping dope with ben. He never turned to the needle. I absolutely refused to shoot him up or have anything to do with it.
I knew which path he was headed on. I already walked it.

Ben was scared to drive into the hood or get out the car to cop. So I always had to drive in for him, and most of the time I copped the dope.
He was only 3 years younger than me, but he wasn't an idiot. We sort of developed this unwritten mutual agreement that we would never try to pull a quick one on one another.
And we never did. Ben ended up telling somebody rather important that he was stuck on dope, and he was sent to NA meetings and all this bullshit. Dec 18th was the last ride
to camden with him. The day after he hits me up and says "yo bro, I can't do shit no more. not even bud or readys" Well, whatever. I can deal with that. It sucks, but shit happens.
I recently met another dude who does dope and has his own vehicle as well. Joe. He's also a straight up guy, but a bit older than me. I'll occasionally go out to camden to cop
for him. But other than that, I ride solo, yet again.

It's not bad riding solo. The only aspect that sucks is the resources. If you don't know alot of people who do dope, you can deplete your resources rather quickly.

Anyways, Joe was a cool dude. However, there were a few things I didn't like about him. He took everything for granted & was a dope snob. Wouldn't sell you a bag,
Even if he had bundles & you were sick. Tough shit. Whatever, I can respect that. But when you start joking around, calling me your 'drug-mule' you done fucked up.
I ended up working for Joe. Joe ran a pizza shop business, I was his dishwasher. Fast forward - One day we're headed to Camden, and we get pulled over..
I end up taking a ticket for him because he had a border around his license plate. Great, as if I could afford this bullshit ticket? Hah. To make matters even worse..
Joe tells me he has to start letting dishwashers go because he has too many of them. Fuckin' prick. You mean to tell me, I just took a $100+ ticket for you, and you're going to fire me?
What a prick. Fast forward a couple months, I end up fuckin' joe over for $120 bucks. After all, he kinda deserved it... for the most part. Shit happens.

I didn't feel like much of a prick, it was bound to happen. His selfish attitude & rediculous personality almost makes it impossible not to fuck him over.

And bit its head off, then bit the back section off. I seemed to play a part.

Family seemed to be at a race. Indy 500. In the middle of the street, we were. I was in my underwear. I think. Old neighbor-friends there too.

I honestly never would have expected to hear this from Christians in general, but the fact that my expectations were proven wrong is a hugely pleasant surprise.

As more "normal" people in America and the rest of the world begin to speak out against such tyranny on a minority group - because that's what we street drug users are - our cause will gain momentum, and we may yet live to see the end of a futile conflict of interests and control on a group of people who don't deserve to be deprived of their freedom because they chose to consume a forbidden-by-man-for-the-wrong-reasons substance.

They used the Easter Holiday weekend as a chance to speak up, as it is the time when most people tend to attend church services (with the exception of Christmas).

And here it is in its entirety:

Easter_2014_Faith_Leaders_Statement said:

April 16, 2014

As faith organizations and religious leaders, we are committed to bettering the lives and realizing the human potential of society’s most vulnerable individuals and communities. More and more, this means addressing the consequences of mass incarceration and preventing those to come – and thus healing the many wounds of our nation’s misguided war on drugs.

When it comes to drugs, we should focus on the goals we agree on: protecting our kids, protecting public safety, and preventing and treating drug abuse and addiction. We join together to ask you to repeal policies that unnecessarily criminalize millions of people and place a vastly disproportionate burden on poor and black communities – and to replace those policies with just, effective and evidence-based approaches.

The United States imprisons more people than any other nation in the world – thanks in large part to the war on drugs. In 2012, there were more than 1.5 million drug arrests in the U.S., the vast majority for mere possession. The destructive effects of mass criminalization on communities across the country – particularly communities of color – cannot be overstated.

Approximately 2.7 million children are growing up in American homes where one or more parents are incarcerated. One in nine black children has a parent behind bars. Two-thirds of these parents are incarcerated for nonviolent offenses, primarily drug law violations.

And the cycle of punishment does not stop after incarceration ends. The effects of a conviction roll on and on – including the denial of child custody, voting rights, employment, business loans, trade licensing, student aid and other forms of public assistance. Criminal records are also used as a basis to deport legal residents and to bar other noncitizens from visiting the U.S. Through these draconian policies, we have created a permanent under-class of millions of Americans – with major implications for American democracy. More than 5.5 million people are disenfranchised due to a criminal record – including nearly 1 in 13 black people of voting age.

We urge you to re-evaluate our current policies and call for the repeal of these counterproductive laws. Guided by principles of compassion, justice and fairness, we make the following recommendations:

1. Repeal laws that criminalize drug possession and replace them with policies that expand access to effective health approaches to drug use, including evidence-based drug treatment.

2. Eliminate policies that result in racially disproportionate arrest and incarceration rates.

3. End policies that unjustly exclude people with a record of arrest or conviction from key rights and opportunities.

Despite our diversity, we are guided by our religious principles to serve those in need and give voice to those who have been marginalized and stigmatized by unjust policies.

We cannot sit silently while a misguided war is waged on entire communities, ostensibly under the guise of combating the very real harms of drug abuse. The war on drugs has become a costly, ineffective and unjust failure. Our people deserve better.

We urge, in the strongest terms, a complete rethinking of U.S. drug policies – and we believe the recommendations outlined in this letter are a good place to start the conversation.

This Easter Sunday, and in light of our current realities, we, leaders of faith call for a rebirth and resurrection of communities burdened by the harms of injustice oftentimes masquerading under of the guise of law and order and criminal justice.

Click to expand...

Hoorah!

This is a little projected I did a while back. It lists every major opiate with it’s half-life and bioavailability for Oral, IM, IV, Rectal and Intranasal. Defintiely a useful little tool when you find yourself with some opiate your aren't familiar with and you want to find out what the best route of administration would be.

My friend was wearing something that delivered nitrous to him from a tank. A head covering. And for some reason a piece of popcorn was part of it. He had to stop because he couldnt take the buttery flavored popcorn.

I had been negotiating/talking with what seemed to be a DEA agent. He had caught me with something, or almost did, but our relationship was more educational. I went through various classes, in something, where he was present. Many others were as well. I don't rememeber much about these classes. Or even if they were classes. I know they were weird. The DEA guy reminded me if the red headed actor who plays on Homeland in the lead role.

I drove a large SUV. It was mine or a close friends. Rich kid.

I started going to these sessions stoned. I haven't been high in a while. I felt the guy knew but didn't care much.

A girl I knew, Melissa, asked me how many times I had thought about marrying her. I said passively, a lot, perhaps. Or simply, sometimes. We were in my car. I took her down the road, where I felt a lot of sexual tension. She lives in the country. This was there. She took her underwear off and got out. Blue dress. Stood there against a barbed wire fence, and hopped over. This was a yard with a lot of beat up vehicles. Like a small junkyard before and beyond the fence. Beyond the fence was soon a small valley and field and trees. Perhaps a stream down the way. It was night, but bright enough. Perhaps lighting from the property. I wanted to stay before the fence. But, I felt that it was probably a place of business, and it was night, so said okay. As soon as she climbed (gracefully) over, a guy raised up from behind a car to the right and ahead a little, with a rifle and aimed I think. I said "whoa, alright, I'm sorry, we're gone", but this guy chose to make it difficult. I wondered what a dude was waiting like that for in the middle of the night/early A.M. then he called in his buddy who probably took us into a kitchen in a residence, at gunpoint. They were threatening Melissa, asking sexual things, I think, but I managed to get their attention mostly on killing us. I couldn't let my pride go. For some reason we had pizza, and they wanted some of it. It wasn't that the pizza was a big deal, it was my pride. They were trying to get me go back down... To give something up. Fuck them. After some manly discussion of this guy telling me he can take me, and me saying not if you give me time to plan (and at one time I could take three of him, I told him, and awoke saying it aloud), I told him about the federal agent that had been nosing around, and that if anything happened to me, that he'd ask which is the last direction I went/he'd find out, and this was a road that led directly there. I remember the visual of a gun pointed one direction- a hand gun, and then a second handgun against it, side to side, now one side as I did, rotated to face the other direction. Stand off.

I'm pretty sure I was getting away with everything.

Melissa is a wreck. Maybe that's what I associate her with. She is so damaged.

77 looks kind of like two feet, upside down. It can. That's the price that I paid in my dream for some dress shoes, that I got from someone associated with my neighbor, across from my door. Indians. $77.xx. The shoes were too big, although they seemed to fit surprisingly okay, but I still wanted the right size. I usually wear around a 10.5, and these were around size 13.5.

Today, I heard a voice of a native English speaker coming from their apartment, as I came back from errands, and turned my head to wonder who it might be, as most language I hear from there is not English. The voice- a man said "I have a friend that works for Angie's List"- what I caught of it. There were two pairs of shoes next to the door. I've never seen shoes at the door.

Angie comes from Angel.

Other than that, I dreamt I was going to see this girl... And she was going to let me do anything I wanted to her. And she was messed up. And I took my friend's spot in a spa-hot tub, and there was another girl there. And this girl was a girl he was going to spend time with, but he is married. And I ended up helping him, by doing so, because I told him a secret on what to do next. But he was still mad at me, and I struggled. The girl took me back to where she stayed. A girl I remember, named Christina, was there. This was a beat down building where people were staying. They were squatting. It was very cold. I felt bad that this girl was staying there, and I think I offered her a place, or wanted to, with me. But there were many others. There seemed to be a hole down through the center of the building. I could see people on the different floors, laying down.

Dad my brother and I were going to go see a movie, and then go to my grandmother's gravesite.. And we were going to return my shoes I had just bought. And my parents yard became full of dog poop, which I was afraid of stepping in, but somehow managed not. But my brother didn't seem to care.

ug I have been alone with the baby all weekend... am not used to such an empty house... no one to talk to ... no one to help w baby.... just me and him.... making me feel depressed.... at least his dad should be back tonight...
well at least I will hopefully be starting a masters program this fall... being a stay at home mom is NOT my cup of tea... I mean it was great for a while and I don't know that I would have been able to breastfeed for the whole year if I had worked but am starting to be over it
I know this one chick who had a rocking career and shit then got married and prego and moved to cali with hubby and now plans on being a stay at home mom.... that is fucking batshit to me but who knows maybe after a year of being with baby she will get an au pair ( I had to google that spelling) and start selling real estate in cali
....
ug oh and I applied for and then accepted some 9$ an hour job that I start tomorrow but I am starting to think that maybe it was a bad idea because its a nice job but ... I would rather work in a restaurant in town so because I think that would be more fun and social and potentially more money which would all be good for my summer until I hopefully start school in the fall*
* just have to get registered and stuffffff...........

Lol

DXM Movies
So tell me, What movies do you like to watch while on a DXM trip???
I like a few movies like,

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Requiem for a Dream
A Scanner Darkly
The Wall
The Song Remains The Same
The Doors
Wanted

Thats just a few ive liked to watch..... give me some of your movies!!!!!

Lol

Lol

DXM Extraction From Delsym
It wont let me post the pictures here so i Made each step (1through 8) a link to the pictures.

1. Empty 3 3oz bottles of Delsym into a gallon of water and shake it up very good. Let sit for 4 to 6 hours. (You can do this with more or less Delsym. The most I've used is 2 5oz bottles)
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514

2. Let it settle to the bottom for 4 to 6 hours. You will see the powder bottom after 4 to 6 hours and you will know its ready!
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514


3. Cut the gallon down the side and let the water drain out the best you can.
Photo 1
Photo 2
Photo 3


4. Now cut the top off and cut down the gallon and drain as much water as you can! DO NOT Shake it up make sure that you DO NOT disturb the powder. You will end up losing a lot.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514

5. Cut down the side and Drain it as much as you can without disturbing the powder.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514


6.Use a turkey baster to suck the water out ... An eye dropper works even better. You will suck up some powder, This is why i suggest maybe using more Delsym. Always expect to lose a little bit.
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514

7. Until you've got all the water you can out. Scoop it out with a spoon or a razor. Try to get as much as you can. Put it on a mirror or a glass. (If you think you left alot behind, You can rinse the jug out with some water and run that through a coffee filter)
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514

8. Let it dry. This is an image of it ALMOST dry. When its dry it will be fully powder. To speed up the drying process you can put it under a lamp. NEVER put it in the oven!!!
http://www.drugs-forum.com/photopost...action&cat=514

Well thats what i did. Its about 1500mgs dxm polysterix...
I dont like doing this though. It seems to be a very light trip and it doesn't last. But if i drank 3 bottles i would probably trip hard! IDK Drinking it is much better for me. I like to do 2 5oz bottles of Delsym (1776Mgs) which puts me at a very intense 3rd plateau. I love this very much. I get nice CEV's like creating my own world or going threw my own mind stories. And when i look at certain things i get nice OEV's. The entire experience is great. And the body high is nice to. But be careful people. I read that alot of people do not like Delsym because of the long duration and how less intense it can be Compared to Hbr. When in all reality, it can be even more intense than Hbr! But I have also read that people love it also. I think its a 50/50 thing.

I really wanted to show the photos here but it would not let me...

Well I hope this is a good contribution to the site I hope this helps someone or those who are interested in extracting dxm from Delsym.

I really can't stand being sober. It's the most uncomfortable feeling I can possibly imagine besides opiate withdrawal. It makes me feel way to awake restless anxious angry and depressed. I have really felt this way for as long as a I can remember. Now I have got myself in a fucked up situation where I agreed to go to rehab. I don't want to go to fucking rehab and be sober! If I could just smoke weed there I would be fine. Might be ok if I could eat a handful of benzos everyday there. But sober? Just fucking kill me now! Not to mention the fucking withdrawal I'm gonna be dealing with. Ugh fuck what have I done bluelight? I don't even want to be sober and I'm going to have to listen to a bunch of assholes go on and on about how great it is. They better take my fucking shoelaces away. Talk about being suicidal shit.

All this just too please my fucking parents. Did I mention I'm 25 years old pretty fucking pathetic huh? A grown ass man bending over for his parents because I'm too much of a pussy/fuckup/loser to strike out on my own. God that's sad to write but so fucking true. I wish I had the courage to move to San Francisco and live in golden gate park. I really don't even know what I'm scared of I really don't care if I live or die. I mean I tried to kill myself last week. That's what started this whole fucking mess. What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I such a pussy?

Instead I'm looking at thirty days of opiate withdrawal sobriety. Fuck my life!