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Junky Love

%) Notice the sick sound effects of a needle going thorugh skin that I used for the audio. 8)

I'm really tired of waking up with this morning anxiety, but it's hard to avoid given what's going on and that every day recently has been an onslaught of constant action all involving survival seriousness. I know comparing myself to others is pointless but I can't help but notice people I know flying past me on the road to personal progress and development while I remain in the dust, struggling with things like money and career. I'm beginning to question my place in the world again, if I'll ever get to that place where I'm okay with my lot in life. Poverty really stinks and so does lack of mobility. They're both things that can be changed, it just feels like I am climbing a big mountain this year.

It's not even because of drugs anymore. I've been clean for months... and in the absence of that, I am stuck with all that has been avoided. Being anxious, panicked, depressed, and frequently suicidal in a place where support resources are low has been really challenging. Human connection has never been more important than ever and I'm trying my best to keep it all together. Unfortunately, people can only do so much to help... I see it in their eyes, that courteous earnestness that eventually becomes having to turn away. People don't want to be reminded of their own unresolved inner work, and also I'm sure it's just not the greatest to be around a depressed person all the time.

The scary part of all this is that this is a hill I seem to be climbing alone and no one can really help me with it, deep down. People are islands of comfort and reassurance, but they can't stand with me as I face myself and the tasks ahead. It's something I have to own up to... and in that, there is no remedy for the loneliness. When the sheer terror began, I was trying to reach out for anyone I could to keep me company, so that I didn't feel like death was so near... which is so unlike me, being an introvert who has been alone for years. Now I realize I was just trying to cope. I thought I had dealt with these fears of death before, having almost died so many times now. But it's clear to me that this is a new kind of fatality in the making, even though I'm not 100% sure of the form it's taking on. It's the death of what I thought mattered (and I truly, sincerely believed it did). It's scary having those internal structures whittled away at by burgeoning awareness that it either no longer serves a purpose or it was total delusion in the first place. There's no comfort for me now, no refuge, no hiding. I am terrified.

Gradually, incrementally, I am coming to accept that this year I might die. And maybe that's okay. I've made a good go of it up until now, done a lot, realized a hell of a lot more, and met a lot of nice people. I would like to see the story continue, especially where new love is concerned... but those feelings of hope are countermanded daily by a deep seated fear that maybe I don't really belong here, and nothing is mine anyway. I would rather die than live a mediocre life where there is no sense of connection, no sense of family or belonging, no companionship and partnership, no tenderness, no love, no hope. I can see the emptiness in every moment, the utter meaninglessness. I thought this was supposed to feel liberating? Why do I feel so saddened by it then? It feels like the void... I stare into it, and it stares back, reminding me that nothing is real. I don't really know how to be with this information. It's almost a step too far. But at the same time... give me freedom or give me the bridge. I can't handle being on this fence anymore.

Little Red Balloons

Favorite song?

[video=youtube_share;aXAU4MmMIMo]http://youtu.be/aXAU4MmMIMo[/video]
Favorite album?
Ronnie James Dio

http://youtube_share;B0zMFN6bMlo]http://youtu.be/B0zMFN6bMlo[

Favorite live performance?

When something comes together it is great.
Mike Ness and Bruce Springsteen doing Bad Luck
http://youtube_share;2OxZ3zdon-k]http://youtu.be/2OxZ3zdon-k

At Woodstock 99, I was in heaven cuz I was really into Kid Rock then and always into CCR. So when he did Fortunate Son, I was happy as a clam. My friends teased me, but so what.
http://=youtube_share;XX74TLYT_gw]http://youtu.be/XX74TLYT_gw

Discussion of any off shoot projects from members of the band?

Mike Ness has a covers project. I love his country covers. I don't like
modern country, but the old stuff is great.
I also will put their appearance on a radio show "Storytellers" with Social Distortion

I fought the law
http://youtube_share;cJB-AzHysoA]http://youtu.be/cJB-AzHysoA
Gamblin Man
http://youtube;TrNrp-dNUpM]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrNrp-dNUpM&list=PL71D30294E01FD86B&feature=share&index= 2
Storytellers 1
http://youtube_share;_oph2INT4Rc]http://youtu.be/_oph2INT4Rc
Storytellers 2
http://youtube_share;un3vdoBSES8]http://youtu.be/un3vdoBSES8

Recommendations of similar artists?

I love The Dropkick Murphy's and Flogging Molly - Makes you want to drink green beer
Hard to Believe Fastway formed Flogging Molly

Cadence to Arms/Do or Die
http://youtube_share;f23ENPznbN4]http://youtu.be/f23ENPznbN4

The Devil's Dance Floor
http://youtube_share;TSwaVvF7rdU]http://youtu.be/TSwaVvF7rdU

Oh Glorious Dimitri! I beseech thee!

Robert E. Kahn and Vint Cerf

Robert E. Kahn was born December 23rd, 1938
Vint Cerf was born June 23rd, 1943

I walked in my door and the timer for the oven went off. My chicken was done. I had been to the gym to shower, while it cooked. I go to the gym to shower because the painters painted my bathtub wrong, and every time I shower here it makes me sick, from fumes, still months after I moved in. So I go there.

Pulling in the parking space outside, the track ended-- The track "My Little Universe", by Depeche Mode. "My Little Universe is expanding". The time was 4:44, according to the clock on the dash.

Getting home from work, before, another song- "Angel" ended as I parked.

At the gym, I saw a very mixed fellow, who works there every morning. He is Black, White, "Puerto Rican", and maybe something else. I reflected, again, on my seeming feelings against Whites disappearing into others, and I feel I misunderstand myself. I like this guy. I like another guy, named Byron, who I used to work with, who is Black and White. It's not that I hate people. Or have strong feelings, of wanting them out. Especially not in the U.S. I started a thread earlier, about "White Genocide", in which I talked about how so many brown colored people are entering Europe, and how they are on a course to outnumber the natives, potentially. I posted images of projections of the "average" American (I think it was), in 2050, and they were all mixed. Everyone mixed. All races. My problem with this was that they were all mixed into White. White with them. And white was gone. Meanwhile, the roots of those that mixed in, are still there, in the native countries, where the roots of Whites, are gone.

I still have a problem, I guess, with that. I do.

But I don't hate people, really. I don't exclude that guy- Nito, who works at the gym, or others. I find mixes interesting, to be honest. But I don't want everyone mixing. I don't want whites to be gone.

I also viewed pictures of "blond haired blue eyed" Iranians/Persians/Afghanis. These were in my reflection/on my mind. It was interesting to me, how closely I "relate" to the faces. It is said that Alexander the Great's armies left these genes in these regions, potentially... But it's also been said that they were naturally more White, and that Arabs, with Muhammad's armies, added to the genes in Persia, Afghanistan, etc. It is just interesting, to see "White" genes survive, for so long, in these areas, if they are in fact from Alexander the Great's armies. They look Iranian/Pakistani... But they look European. Kind of like how you can look at a child and see both the mother and the father, and some can only see one or the other, sometimes, but I see both. And, I can accept them. "White" doesn't really... Matter. It does, but it doesn't. I guess it depends on the mix... But then I'm wrong about that, too.

I don't know. I just don't want Hate. "My little universe is expanding" reflected my once again "acceptance", of others, and finding likeness, in other places.

I still feel the same about Europe, though. I feel some borders are good.

%)

Yo Peeps!!!!

I'm gutted man, was looking forward like allll day to tucking into a nice Magnum Infinity; chocolate n caramel flavour.... oh the hoy, oh Heaven! Bliss! Delight! Journey into luscious chocolate, into fatness, and into I don't careness because this is my gorgeous, chocolately, heavenly moment.... oh yes, yes, yes let's go..... Into the fridge.... ahhh yes, the Go into the fridge and where the hell is my damn Magnum infinity, man?! My Goodness the world has just ended.... No, No, NO!!!! Destraught... need serious consoling here innit... hahahahahaha Oh mannnnnnnnnnnn, lol

Anyway how's everyone doing? I'm chilling here with a nice glass of wine.... Sun has been shining all day, got good family, people who care for me.. What more could a girl want, eh?! Have like such a beautiful garden out ther...... Shittttttttt I've forgotten to water the damned flowers, trees n stuff! Ahhh they'll keep... Got some good plums growing, some blackberries, apples, raspberries.... Is gna be a good September this year....

......Ahhhh bliss! I can't WAIT until the Autumn.... I LOVE the Autumn, I love Winter! Being lovely n cosy n stuff! Drinking hot chocolate, heating on, knowing 'tis cold outside but 'tis lovely, warm n cosy instead.... Canna beat it, But one canna beat nature either! Summer is like an open, hot summer's day - everything's alive, everything's so open, so free, so OUT-THERE, windows open, people talking, animals walking, plants thriving, children out play, happy, free and singing.... Everything being watered, people trying to fit in everything they could....

Oh I love life, life is what one makes it, life is free, life is a struggle, but make of that what it want, we embrace it like a gracious cuddle.

Take care ya'all. Sorry for my BS... waffling and stuff, just fancied doing a blog innit!

Goody day to all.

Now time for a garlic-breaded chicken butty! Well ya gotta compensate somehow, eh... Was traumatising not having that magnum I've looked forward to all day y'know hahahahahaha

Love yah!

Evey

Up for a little trivia? Why don't you test your drug knowledge with a video game I made called "Name That Drug!" See if you can guess the drug on the screen before the name scrolls across the page. Get 27 out of 27 right and I'll consider you a Master of Illegal Narcotics! If you do well, post your score in the comments. Have fun!

If someone today were to boast of the health benefits of heroin, cocaine, LSD or methamphetamine they would be deemed nothing less than bat-shit crazy delusional, or perhaps a pawn of Satan, here to plant the seeds of corruption and demise in the minds of the young, tempting them to taste the forbidden fruit and lure them into a life of hedonistic pleasures. At best, they would ridicule him for the absurdity of such preposterous thoughts and write him off as an addict, delusional in his attempt to justify his destructive behavior. He would be denounced for slanging such reprehensible pro-drug propaganda that could only been intended to corrupt the minds of young children who might believe such heinous lies. The anti-drug crusaders allow no room for grey area or self-interpretation. All drugs are unequivocally, universally bad for you. Those who use them are considered unstable, weak-willed flunkees who lack self-discipline and a moral compass. They are unequipped to cope with reality so they use drugs as a cowardly means escape. Nothing good can come of illegal drugs and those who are brazen enough to dare question this universal truth are dealt with cruelly and promptly removed from decent society. As if the social and legal ramifications of drug use weren't enough, anti-drug crusaders need you to believe that all drugs rot you from the inside and will inevitably eat away at your body until you die. It is black and white. It's not good enough to say that they can lead to addiction and that can have devastating consequences to your life. Or that not practicing harm reduction can lead to life threatening diseases like AIDS or Hep C. We must also unquestionably believe and that all drugs also ravage your hair, skin, organs and will ultimately kill you. While a large percentage of the population happily insists on killing themselves slowly with a transfat, high-sodium, processed sugar, take-out diet. And have no problem popping mood altering prescription drugs for anything and everything, including anxiety, depression, hyper-activity, menopause or low-testosterone.

But what people have a tendency to conveniently forget, is that almost every drug at one point in time, was legitimately used as medicine for many of these same conditions. Some, like heroin, were even used for more legitimate medical purposes. In fact, there are opiate painkillers used today that are stronger than heroin. I read a blog the other day that said something like "If heroin came in a pill form, would you be curious enough to try it?" All heroin is, is a pain killer that has been made illegal. It is no different than any other pain killer on the market. Cocaine, at one time, was considered a miracle drug. Methamphetamine was used by Nazi German to increase the productivity of their soldiers. LSD has been used successfully for many psycho-therapy purposes. But for one reason or another, usually when the drug proves to provide unintentional "feel good" benefits to the user, Lord forbid, they have been labeled ILLEGAL. At that point they become target for a free-for-all hate campaign where truth is often overshadowed, and often blatantly denied, in order to thoroughly manipulate an uneducated public to willing jump on the anti-drug bandwagon. There's an attempt to erase history and replace it with a story that is more in-line with the new way of thinking. To a degree, this works. But if you do a little digging, you find bits and pieces remaining.

This is a video I made of medicine that was widely used and popular among our not-to-distant ancestors. My intention was not to make some grandiose political statement like I just prefaced it with. I simply wanted to provide some entertainment value. Because it's fun to look at all these different drugs that have become such taboos in modern society that if they were to be recommended today by a health care professional, that doctor would no doubt lose their license. But there was a time where they were not only acceptable, but easily purchased over the counter, or through mail order, without a prescription. It's not the drugs that are dangerous or harmful, they are just another type of medicine, just like everything else we use today. It's how we use them, and the prohibition of these drugs that make them so dangerous. At the time the Harrison Act was passed, the majority of heroin addicts were upper class, Caucasians, over the age of 40. Slightly more women were users, since it was not considered socially acceptable for women to drink, so they turned to heroin instead. Many doctors recommended that their male alcoholic patients switch to heroin because it didn't cause violent outbursts or lend to domestic abuse. That's a very different picture of the heroin user we've come to think of today. This could be, and no doubt will be, a topic large enough to deserve its own blog. But for now, I'll just leave you with this little video featuring medicine of a bygone era. Enjoy

In America we cant buy the potent thujone infused absinthe that exist over in Europe. Most absinthe in the store actually contains no wormwood. Herbsaint is an example of a thujone-free variety of absinthe. Developed just after the ban on absinthe as an absinthe substitute it has a long history of use. It's most famous used the legendary Sazarec cocktail. Recently the original 100 proof version of Absinthe has appeared on the shelves at my local liquor store. I bought a bottle for $21 bucks and was pleasantly surprised.

I feel like I should still try to review the liqueur because it does taste pretty damn good. There are balanced notes of herbs, anise, and licorice. Its a sweet liqueur with hardly any hint of alcohol. It reminds me of a cross between Jager and Sambuca. I prefer to drink it straight. No chaser is necessary. I'm going to try and mix this with redbull. I think A Herbsaint and Redbull is a great idea but I'm afraid the redbull might cover up the greatness that is Herbsaint. Anyway cheers! Here's to the dream that they legalize absinthe!

EDIT: I wrote this without the aid of ADD medication and now I must update it because it looks like shit.

Woke up hungover and in a bit of a panic. I broke my one rule with drugs. No blacking out. I'm afraid i didn't get weed the night before like I intended. My wallet was empty but no sign of my pipe or stash. But my scented candle was light! So I knew I had been smoking last night. Finally find the weed and its of excellent quality. Covered in purple crystals. Check my liquor stash and find out that I drank on the order of 3 beers and a fifth the night before! That means I'm probably still drunk!

I'm feeling like shit. Used to happen to me all the time a few months ago. Trying to remember what I used to do in this situation as I don't get hangovers much anymore. I used to chew tobacco and drink coffee while I watched the Weather Channel with my roommate. We did this almost every morning for months. Something about the Weather Channel and its peaceful music go well with the feelings of self-loathing that accompany a hangover.

So I sit and smoke my purple weed and watch the Weather Channel. Don't even know why I couldn't give a damn about the weather at the moment. I microwave some hot wings and eat about half of them. Why do I do this to myself? Time to test the hair of the dog theory. I grab a bottle of New Amsterdam gin which is the smoothest liquor I've got right now unfortunately. A sip of gin and a bowl hit later no improvement. I've got another hour to kill or so then I'll take a benzo and hopefully be on the other side of things. I think if you have a morning drink then you shouldn't have a morning benzo too or you won't wake up properly.

So as I look at the clock I've been awake for over an hour. Still haven't killed the hangover. To me the hangover is a necessary part of the experience of drinking. I need some time where I'm forced to think about why I drink so much. All these thoughts are running through my head. I'm way too young to be an alcoholic. Or an addict of any kind for that matter. Why did I let this happen? Am I fucked for life? How fucked up is my health now and how fucked up is it gonna be?

So basically 3 hours past and I'm mostly over it. I'm out of what I consider "hangover" territory and more in the after-effects territory. My hangover cure of alcohol, diet coke, benzos, and purple weed worked pretty well. Still got a long way to go of course but the critical part is over. So that's a day in my hungover life. And it's definitely not worth a making a shitty movie about.

so, I've been fighting my dope battle for the past few months and been on and off; the days that I am "off" I tend to go bananas with other drugs/alcohol.. thats right, I said bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! so on Tuesday I didnt use dope but was asked to go to a bar that night and hung out w/ my cousin and a few friends and just sat there and drank. on the way home I was moving into the far left lane and the girl infront of me also moved into the lane at the same time and I ended up rear ending her on the highway; to be honest, I dont remember it all that well but I remember NOT being that fucked up. but because I rare ended here I am at fault, so I am suffering from this. also, because I felt I was OK and I was going NUTS on her infront of the cops, they thought otherwise and asked me to do a breathalyzer. well, thats something I should have NEVER done because I blew a 1.SOMETHING.. and it was def. WAY ABOVE the legal limit. this is my 2nd DUI, so I spent the next 12-15hrs in jail before being released. the minute I got released I called the dope man and was delivered a gram within an hour. its sad that I just got locked up and now have a case infront of me and all I am thinking of is shooting dope. sad, right? well, I only sniffed it that day, so that is a good thing, right? I had to sniff cuz I had no pins left and had NO CAR to get more, so I sniffed the full G and remembered why I hated sniffing and went to the needle.

anyway, I am dead broke and have this case infront of me. I know I will have to go to 2 weeks of a detox since its my 2nd offense; I am also going to the methadone clinic on Tuesday to start treatment; this is something I had planned before the accident but now w/ the accident I am not sure if I SHOULD or SHOULDNT go. I want to go in order to stop using dope, save money and hopefully save my life. also, since this is my 2nd DUI they MAY have me piss testing so methadone might be my only escape. then again, since I have no car getting to the clinic may be a huge waste of time. I am just not sure right now.. but I do know I need to smarten the fuck up and stop using.

the sick me tells myself, "you should have used dope that day and you never would have went out and had a drink". isnt it sad that I tell myself I should have been SHOOTING HEROIN rather than have a drink and then driving. sick, right? I tell myself to shoot dope cuz its cheaper and safer.. but yet I've OD'd multiple times and almost died. sad how the mind work, right? wow.

well, I thought I'd just post this to keep myself updated for future purposes and also get the word out to all.. DONT DRINK AND DRIVE. its much more safe to shoot dope and drive.. HA! whats sad is I am dead serious and what even more sad is that it actually IS MORE SAFE to do drugs and drive.

I dont know, peeps. just wish me all the luck, man! I am going to need it; headed back infront of the judge for the 98393939th time. I am so sick of this all; I actually went to go away for a while to get sober and my mind straight.. sad that I say that, huh? why do I want to go to jail? who says that!? addicts do... because we need it to get away from the drugs.

back in 04 when I was picked up for trafficking 80's I went away for 3 years and stayed sober for 5 years. I actually felt great back then because I ended up relapsing and getting back into the scene. now ive been miserable and just looking for reasons to use/stop using. I am trying, man.. I am TRYING!

OK, thats it for now.. just wanted to write this all for my own reasons so I can look back 2 years from now and remember the DUMB SHIT I've said all throughout life.

Taking away a non-violent person's freedom because he or she happens to prefer "taking the edge off" by consuming parts of a plant instead of alcohol (which is a known neurotoxin, cardiotoxin, and hepatotoxin) is irrational, and motivated by "concerns" having absolutely nothing to do with health. Alcohol is also quite habit forming, which is heightened by the fact that going cold turkey off of it (acute withdrawal) is considered a medical emergency which can end in death (as occurred tragically in the case of Amy Winehouse).

There are countless functional recreational consumers of marijuana who are very punctual, skilled, and dedicated to their workforce contribution. They also pay their taxes, abide by every other law in existence, and don't cause trouble or behave belligerently in public - which is more than I can say for the average consumer of alcoholic beverages who can easily go from silent to violent in a matter of minutes, and capable of causing a lot of physical harm to his significant other.

It is examples like the one above which are precisely why the "street drug" using minority sees its prejudicial and prohibitionist counterpart of society as leading a life of double-standards.

It is examples such as the fact that street drugs are available in prisons across the nation - smuggled in by those who swore to uphold the law - which serve to undermine any remaining sound logic in relation to the war on (the people who choose to use street) drugs.

After 43 years of the same never-ending futility of crime and profit disguised as crime and punishment, where private prisons sue their governments if their inmate levels go below a certain percentage in relation to the number of available beds, and in which the prisoners are forced to work unreasonable amounts of hours every day for less than a dollar, or be sent to solitary confinement where they slowly lose their minds, makes it pretty clear why there exists such international organizations such as Law Enforcement Against Prohibition, or why the US is the world's biggest jailor, with about 5% of the world's population, and 25% of the world's prison population respectively (well ahead of Russia and China).

The police can continue to grasp at the remaining straws all they want in order to fill their monthly drug-bust quotas, which will do a lot more harm to the victim of such incidents than smoking some marijuana, but will help the arresting officer to receive that eagerly-awaited promotion, and the ability to afford that convertible he always wanted.

And meanwhile, his victim, a non-violent marijuana smoker who is otherwise an honest, law-abiding individual, is looking at a shattered life for reasons related more to the fact the he was caught using a street drug, and little else if anything. Capitalism at its worst - blurring the line between it and fascism (at least from the caught marijuana smoker's perspective, and perhaps many others like him).

Hopefully this era of unjust oppression against marijuana consumers, and other plants which have been used for thousands of years, will end soon, and the cops can go back to chasing after actual crimes in which the victim did not consent to being victimized, because a detective deserves a promotion for once, even if (s)he doesn't fill up his/her quota as quickly as the average narc nowadays.

When I took it I was at school I think I was like 13 or 14 not sure but it was a long time ago my friend had a ton of them like no joke at least 2,000 pills of course he didn't bring all of them to school he probable brought 15-20 not sure but after him showing my other friends the pills in the bathroom we always went there in the morning cuz the adminastraters can't see you and no one else really goes there before school but anyway he gave us like 10 pills and my other friend had some vodka but anyway he e kept the rest of the pill but he said to take two so we did I think there were 3 of us who took the pills but we went to class and about 10 minutes in to class I started feeling it it feel like I drank a monster and I said I wanna take another so me and my friend each took 1 more with a little bit of vodka But anyway my other friend had a different class but like 10 minutes after that pill I felt it even more and more like my head was tingly and I kinda made me happy and exited it was pretty good I think I lasted like 4 hours I was quite a while ago.
DOSE
50 mgs for every 100LB
INFO
It lasts about 4-5 hours it varys from person to person. Some people say it has a crash, personally I didn't experience one
TIPS
If you have alcohol drink it, it makes it better

I kind of felt like I was watching a movie.

I was in Africa. There was a large armored vehicle. I was driving it through a long dirt road, with mud in places. I was stuck. Large wheels, kind of like a monster truck. It reminded me of a Warthog, off of Halo, but much larger. I was stuck once, but then I pulsed the accelerator and freed myself.

The road was long. Trees were at each side. Dirt- red orange dirt, made up the landscape, and road. And at the end of the road, I took a left. And I felt that someone might be after me, or might attack me somewhere, going with the theme that I was driving that particular armored, off road vehicle. There was a store there. It was a store with many things. Clothing. Food, perhaps. A large television in one of the aisles, which was playing a Terminator movie. There was a girl working there. Not African. She seemed to be Serbian, or something- or that's what she said she was (but looking at "Serbian women" in google, I could find no representative... Though I don't feel like I see Germans or Irish or English that really represent me, either). That was the location I felt, from her words. Her eyes were blue, and she was dark brown haired. Beautiful. Sexy. Another customer came and got something- also a White person. He was shorter than me, and had a shaved head. I was on my guard. I delayed checking out, and started looking around again. I think I was buying some dry, clean clothes.

The girl seemed to enjoy my company, and as I stuck around longer, asked me if I'd like to get a drink with her- a coke. I wasn't opposed to sticking around, but I didn't really want a coke (though, I did, but I didn't). Before she left to get one, which was outside perhaps in a machine, I kissed her on her forehead, and she fell back, not violently, but fell to the floor, as if someone might if they were "taken aback" with feeling. I was surprised how it seemed to effect her. She was so beautiful.

From here on, she seemed to accept me as potentially something more. I was going to see her again, I think. I wanted to. But on a map, perhaps this was before, I pointed to Cairo. It felt I was South- pretty far South. I said I needed to get to Cairo, Egypt, and seemed to have trouble saying them both.

That's about the end that I remember, of that dream. There were others, but some were violent, and I don't really have a linear way to talk about the others.

Dream girls. I have had quite a few dreams where I meet a girl, and I wish she was real, when I woke up. If only I could get over real girls as easily. Or put them in the right category, of "not able to get".

When I took it I was on a pretty empty stomach it made me feel really really happy and like I love every one but I kinda thought I was gonna have like a heart attack or somthin I was textin my friends lying in bed it was really nice, personally i would not be able to focus more like every one says but the crash FUCKING SUCKED it was terrible kinda makes me second guess do again cuz I mean it was horrible I was sweaty and hot and my bones ached it felt like I had the flu but it passed over 12 FUCKING HOURS LATER worst feeling in my life.
DOSAGE
30mg for every 100LB and if you took your dose and your still not feelin it every 20min take another 20mgs untill u feel good
INFO
It lasts 4-6 hours depending on your dose and weight
The is like the worst thing in the world
TIPS
AS soon as u feel it dying down start eating and drinking a lot of water and gator aid it will help it pass quicker and some people say to smoke a little ganja to.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IM NOT TELLING YOU TO DO THIS /IF U OD ITS NOT MY FAULT

Today, the idea a doctor or dentist recommending you smoke a Camel, or anything other cigarette is downright obscure! But that wasn't always the case. Cigarette ads frequently boasted of the health benefits of cigarettes, and even enlisting the sponsorship of doctors, dentists and athletes. Today, scientific research and evidence has shown us just how bad smoking is for you. Over 443,000 people die every year thanks to theses cancer sticks. Even more are harmed from secondhand smoke, an idea that would have seem preposterous to to our grandparent's parents. But even though we know how harmful they can be, new people start smoking every day, cigarette companies continue to find new ways to attract customers and over $35 billion dollars are wasted on cigarettes every year. That's an appalling number. Cigarette smoke is more damaging than just about every legal and illegal drug available. And that includes heroin, cocaine or any type of psychedelic. And they're harder to quit than just about anything else as well. Most recovered heroin addicts or alcoholics will tell you they had a much easier time quitting drugs than they did quitting cigarettes. In fact, many were never able to quit and still smoke cigarettes, despite the fact that it's much worse for your body than the drug they were able to quit. I can tell you first hand, I hated smoking cigarettes. Every single one that I put to my lips made me mad. But I couldn't stop. And many other addicts I've talked to have felt the same way. If I hate it so much, why is it so hard to stop?!? Primary because the cigarette companies pack them full with extremely addictive chemicals, ensuring they have a customer until they kill them.

This second installment of Our Junky Forefathers takes a look at cigarette ads, before the government stepped in and declared smoke a public heath crisis. Apparently before false advertising was illegal as well. But I'll just let you see for yourself. I really don't think I have to give any more commentary than that. You can draw your own conclusions from these ads. I have faith that no one breathing today could be swayed by their persuasive intentions. But at least they will provide some good entertainment and have great shock value

Twentieth Century Cigarette Ads - "Your Doctor Smokes Camels!"

I was in a place, where I was propping Alisha up, and I had been bouncing around to different girls, prior, propping them up, or being there. I had them placed, like locations- at locations.

There had been something- some design that I had activated (lit up, on the ground) for a friend who was to be coming. It was on a timer. Perhaps it was me. I felt it was me, but Richard was also who it was.

The place where Alisha was at was in a forest. I was on a hill. There was what seemed to be a root of a tree that I was propped up against, providing for her a place to rest up against me. I wanted to make her more comfortable, so I provided perhaps another part of my body, for her head.

I had to go, again. And soon it was like I was playing a videogame. I was flying. Sex was also something that seemed to be part of it. It felt like Halo. I was flying, and attacking, and winning. But somehow I was then on the ground. I was then watching a show, at my friend, J.R.'s, and somehow this was still connected through this journey, through this dream. These words are nothing like it. And I felt I might pass out, like J.R. would, in a position, watching a show.

Then I go, again. And I'm in a desert, it seems. ISIS was approaching. I met Richard along the way. He carried a single rifle, with a scope. It didn't seem we were against them... Or at least, we weren't organized at the moment, against them. He told me that they let him pass- that he saw them, and they didn't attack him, echoing news reports of them being civil, to certain civilians, that I have heard awake. We kept walking. We ran into friends of ours. We then turned back around. Perhaps it was because our air support, or our army's air support had arrived. It just seemed like the thing to do, to turn and fight. My friend Alston, who had seemingly had some combat experience, and another, showed up. Brian was there, too. Alston was squeezing water out of a what seemed to be big eye dropper. I wondered why he wasn't better prepared. Then people were peeing in pitchers. Brian peed in one, and seemingly filled the entire thing up. I mentioned I drank my own pee. I could feel the heat from his own. He jokingly offered his, but I said no. I do remember getting some water.

I don't remember having a rifle. But somehow, I felt armed, lightly. Maybe I just had a plan to get armed.

We had a plan, Richard and I, perhaps, to avoid conflict... To let the ISIS pass. We weren't armed well enough to fight. I had the idea to go around the side of a building, which was labeled Steak and Shake. On the side was a small alleyway of sand, and some grass. There was a fenced in unit of some kind, AC or power, that I hid behind at first. There was a hill leading up to where they might see us. The section was only about 12 feet wide, or so, in the largest parts, and not that long.. About as long as a Steak and Shake would be, or other restaurant. I put my hands up, surrendering, letting them know I was there. I got down on the ground, in the open, with my hands exposed, to not be a threat. I had seen them crawling over, and they were dressed in fatigues, and a ski-mask, the first one I saw. He had a sort of weapon that seemed like it had a large end to it, like a grenade launcher. I didn't want to scare the guy and get shot, so I made myself clear. I saw him take aim, so I ducked further, and moved back, out of not wanting to get shot. He raised the gun again, when in view, taking aim, and I had a feeling this wasn't one of the ones that wasn't up for shooting non-combatants. I knew I was done, unless something miraculous happened... which not happen. I'm not sure if I heard the sound, but I felt my senses go, slightly. That's all I felt. I was aware of being shot, right in the dome of my head- the front. I could still process, but felt messed up. And I didn't move. I wanted to die. I wanted to say to finish it- kill me, as the one shot hadn't done the job, and I didn't want to suffer. I saw the guy's face- a kid. An adolescent Black kid. He was laughing to his friend, who had jumped over the fence just after him. I almost said "finish it, nigger", pissed at how lightly he took killing another, and as he was laughing and joking about it. I decided not to let my final words be these.

Then, I woke up.

I've been having some vivid dreams lately. I have upped my iodine intake considerably, through the use of a "Lugol's" iodine solution. It's good stuff. The bottle cracked on the way to me, in the dropper area, so I need to report that and maybe get another sent.. But the stuff is still good. Apparently a side effect of more iodine in the diet can be increased, vivid dreams. It is no doubt happening. I'm also speaking easier, with people. Not to say I'm "on it" anymore than normal, but for instance, at work, I am at work. I get the job done. I seem-I feel professional, in how I do things. Not that my work is at all hard, but with this, it just seems easier. I am in pain, and even as I am in pain, I don't let it get in the way of work. I'm confident, even if I am imperfect. I don't let it get in the way.

http://acausal.net/blog/2014/06/19/war/