One day several months ago, I looked outside on the front porch. There appeared to be a package left on the doorstep, but as I looked through the glass and got closer, it moved. I thought, "What the...." I opened the door and there was this peacock standing there looking at me. "Dude," I said. He just stood there bobbing his head from side to side. Against my better judgement, I went into the kitchen to get some bread. Something told me that I might regret this. It's not that peacocks aren't cool animals, but just from past observations, birds tend to shit all over the place. When I came back, the peacock had walked across the front lawn. "Hey peacock!," I yelled. He turned around, looked at me, and walked back towards me. He stopped about 2 feet from me and it was clear that he wasn't going to come any closer, so I threw the pieces of bread on the porch, which he ate. "Don't make me regret this," I told him. He ate, looked at me bobbing his head side to side and then walked away. I didn't know it yet, but this was not the last I would see of the peacock.
A few hours later, my Mom came out of her bedroom and I told her all about the peacock. Sure as shit, he came back. "Oh he's beautiful," my Mom said. He looked at her and bobbed his head side to side. I took pictures of him on my phone and of course my Mom went into the kitchen to get pieces of bread and raisins for him and put them in a bowl along with a bowl of water. The next day there were about 7 piles of shit left on the porch and the food was gone. Damn it I knew I shouldn't have left him food. I never knew there could be so much shit from one bird. He did both big piles of shit and a bunch of little white piles as well. The piles are not easy to clean up because they are messy as hell. I told my Mom that she should stop feeding him, but she said she felt bad. A few days later, I heard her scolding the dog for supposedly shitting in the house. Mom stepped in it and left a bunch of messes for her to clean up. She was extremely disappointed in the dog and she told him so.
A couple hours later I opened the front door and saw that some peacock left piles of shit on the door mat. I said, "Mom come here, I want to show you something." She saw that what happened was she went outside in the morning to pick up the mail and tracked peacock shit all through the house and then she felt horrible for scolding the dog. I heard her scold him and it wasn't that bad. I could hear her whispering to the dog,"You made a mess for him mom," over and over. If it had been me scolding him, he would have known it. Still, Mom picked him up and apologized over and over how sorry she was for scolding him, but then she turned her anger towards the peacock. "This is why it was a mistake to feed him," I said. "We can't do it anymore." I was happy to feed him if he would only he would shit in the plants instead of all over the damn porch, but the peacock will not do that.
This is why Mom and I stopped feeding him. However, the peacock kept leaving multiple piles of shit all over the porch and then it was on between me and the peacock. I would see him and chase him off. He and I probably look like something out of a Mel Brooks movie, me yelling and chasing after him, and him running away as he bobs his head back and forth. I did some research on the internet and it said that there are 2 things that peacocks don't like: water and Cheyenne pepper. There is no way I could squirt him because the hose is too far away from the porch. I started dusting the front porch with red pepper and for a while it worked. However one morning at 3am, the peacock decided to go to the back of our house. He didn't like the porch anymore, so at 3am my Mom heard this knocking at the double French glass doors of her bedroom. She heard this knocking and when she turned the light on, she saw that it was the peacock. She opened the glass door and he stood there bobbing his head from side to side as if to ask, "Hey what's the deal? Give me my food!" Mom sent the peacock away, but the next afternoon as she was in the kitchen chopping up lettuce and vegetables, there was this long, upside down neck staring at her as she was chopping salad. He had flown on the roof and was looking down at her in the kitchen window wanting to know, "Where's my food?"
This guy was something else. We would like to feed him again, but when we did there was twice the amount of shit to clean up. We found out that he is known around our neighborhood as the hobo peacock. There are no other peacocks or peahens, just him. We see him walking around the neighborhood and on our neighbor's lawns, but he will not leave. A few days will go by with no peacock, and just as Mom thinks he's gone for good, he leaves a present for us. "We have not seen the last of him, and are stuck with him for good." Last night there was a knock at her bedroom window and of course, it was the peacock.
i can get out of bed!!!!! I actually feel motivated. And this is SO FOREIGN to me. I feel great
i never cared wether i lived or died. I actually preferred death. 
❤
