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I am ready for another blog post already I suppose. I don't wanna flood my journal with too many entries per day would like to keep it limited to one nightly entry and make it a new habit.

So I am committing to not just AA which I found a sponsor in last night but one NA meeting and one SA meeting per week. Gonna do a few more than one AA though. The thing about my compulsions is they seem to be connected and all three of those twelve step groups fit my situation. Some poly drugs users simply choose to use AA for the support and fellowship as I have come to see in the past couple days. The programs are nearly identical. I want to try to keep my mind as open as possible and be more accepting of people from all walks of life hence I think I should at least try all three together for a good chunk of time maybe 90 days and see if I don't need all three programs and perhaps AA meetings will be enough.

In my area NA and SA are small & tiny compared to AA. I was relieved more than a couple of people also struggled with drugs in them.

I hope this is the last psytrance track I share let me break up the bleak sobering nature of my presence sorry I had some kind of spiritual drug induced breakdown on LSZ which snapped me out of all drug use including the remaining blotters I got rid of. Why the last? Psychedelic culture is a dangerous risk for me it seems harmless and beneficial for many though. Call me one of the unfortunate few to have come to this realization my ego might forget again and again...



The art of living truly and fully I am not even close to grasping onto yet. At the pace I was going at it might never happen.
I did
can now get it delivered to my door with no extra charge
they sell everything else aswell
be jelly
I picked up a Heine and set down the Ecstasy of Gold by Widowmaker Brewing I imbibed a little less than half of so far perhaps I should take a bike to get the alcohol out quicker before I turn into a vicious werewolf who was last seen outside a crackhouse during a raid the one random night drinking like over five years back I decide to go into the hood to smoke down on and ran into a jacked up white crack dealer who was on his way to an Embassy Suite who gave me his numba and smoked with me in his ride wanted to know if I was undacova first ain't act like I am from the hood even in it but they like me well the good ones with some humane spirit left even balls deep in the game until it gone and they turn on ya

I should not be drinking hence i made a blog post about it waaaaaa honestly blotter makes me tense at present I have to avoid it if want to quit drinking right now but I have a few to move through yet for therapy aware of the risk but I don't binge drink on acid ever at least lol unlike stims anyways coworkers wanna trade me some standard Lucy Twenty Cinco for a couple oh yes done at this job in less than a year so are they garden center run by a greedy old millionaire no one likes to be around who works there haha
I am a raging drug addict struggling to live to see tomorrow that is what I am and want to escape from NOW Godspeed hitting a meeting tomorrow they call SOS but generally you put out the signal and I eat too many lifesavers at work?
So needless to say it wracked my noggin very hard and fast and sorted a bunch of stuff out in terms of taking the recent negative trash patterns of living in mind, thought, and deed like very quickly once it grabbed hold of my brain did not even take a third of a 150ug tab
Recently I called my mom and told her I was worried about my mortality and was thinking of going to the hospital to get injected with ativan to kill the bad trip which resulted from having taken propylhexedrine the day before and not sleeping well then also drinking alcohol and taking kratom then that night when I redosed Aladdin I started freaking out about my CNS or heart or respiratory system and texted her actually and she brought over a melatonin and two mg of lorazepam which knocked me out into a fluffy worriless sound sleep all night long thank God or her rather will have to pay much greater attention to set & setting for my upcoming LSZ trials have an outstanding time for me sometime
To conquer the 6th dimension, one must have tried amp, meth, eth, mda, mdma, & mde. To conquer the 9th dimension, one must also have tried pma, pmma, and pmea.
I think I finally found a healthier ( notice healthier does not necessarily mean healthy just better than huge amounts of hot chocolate) way to flavor kratom. Coconut bulba tea flavoring power. According to the label it’s 1/3 the calories of the hot chocolate mix I was using and only 4 grams of sugar The package says to add sugar to it but I didn’t need to. Still waiting to see if I get a migraine from the mix but so far so good
Earth is a place where you are made ashamed of being human. That alone cuts you from all life.
This is a special place where we talk about special drugs and we kindly worship them for they are the true God's of reality. Would you turn to the faith of God or would you turn to Drugs in times of desperate need. That's the question you must ask yourself
Get 1013'd (Georgia) or Baker Acted (Florida), captured by the police, and escorted to a major hospital's Emergency Room. Most of you won't remember a thing. Huh?
Did Not Like Me Then.
And They Do Not Like Me Now.
Everything Is Possible. Some Things Are Plausible.
I've Been Living Here So Long That I Started Calling It Home. WOOT: Out Of This World!
Hey everybody who might be concerned! I'm definitely still alive and I'm gonna do my best to be more available to the forums in general. I have been replying to my inbox for folks who need help with tapers and things of that nature. It's been a tough year. When I got furloughed from my English class I assumed it would be short-term. Now, a year later I'm still pretty unsure when I'm gonna go back. I've had seizures for the past 5 years, so general labor is difficult. Without seizure-specific medications, even outside of events I just feel like shit, clouded cognition, no motivation and anxiety. Then I stop eating, then the seizures get worse. It's just been a big snowball.

I'm not pleading for help. I know pretty much everyone is in the same boat. I just want everyone to realize that I actually care and I have no intention of abandoning the forums. I'm gonna do my best to catch up on things, but I'm definitely having a tough time. I'm sorry to anyone who I have personally let down through inattention. I feel guilty and selfish. I hope everyone is doing okay and not losing their minds. I've got love for everyone on here.

Ryan
Liminal Spaces Are Defined As The Space Between 2 Or More Other, Concrete Spaces, Where Ordinary Rules Of Physics Are Not Always Followed,

But They Can Be Thought About In Other Ways As Well. Examples Include The Space Inside A Wall In Your House, Being In Purgatory, Or Standing Beneath A Doorway Separating Two Rooms--Which Is Bad Luck By The Way.

The Nuclear Age, Started By The Equation E = mc^2, Has Led To Hundreds Of Nuclear Events In The Last Century, And Space Time (Measured In Parsecs) Has Been Warped By Each Event. Personally, I Have Experienced The September, 1981, Plutonium Bombing Of The Regency Mall In Augusta, Georgia; The August 29th, 1997, Uranium Virtual Reality Calamity Whilst Working As A Patient Transporter At Athens Regional Medical Center; And The July 5th, 1998, Neutron Bomb Explosion In Atlanta, Georgia, Which Originated At A Rave At Lorretta's Disco; And The 2006 Boston, Massachusetts, Harbor Tea Party Bombing, Which Was Visible From Alpha Centauri, And Was A Photon Bomb.

Do I Like Being Nuclear Bombed? NO! Of Course Not, But Life Happens. It's Your Experiences, And What You Learned From Them, That Counts. Anyway, What's My Point?

My Points Are Two Fold: (1) Although The Age Of Aquarius Started In 2000 AD, The Boston Bomb And All The Others Have Earth In A Liminal Space--Where Past, Present, And Future Coexist--For Around Another 300 Years, And (2) The Final Solution May Involve A Nuclear Fusion Bomb, On Earth, Big Enough To Envelope Our Entire Solar System, Which Will Then Have 2 Stars: The Sun & The Earth.
I am experimenting with new ways to flavor kratom because I am concerned that 4+ cups of hot chocolate a day will result in major long term health issues.

I identify as having a “ little side” basically means that my childhood was buggy enough that part of my personality and preferences stayed in preschool and yes people who don’t even know that one can have a little side frequently comment that I seem particularly gifted with children from 0-6 years of age.
I bring up my little only because that side of my personality seems to dramatically impact my food preferences. When we go to a new restaurant my family gages whether I will like it or at least find something I can eat based on whether they have a kid’s menu.

so imagine trying to get a picky 4 year old to deal with the taste of kratom and you’ll have an idea of what I am up against. Of course it’s easier than it would be with an actual kid because it is an inward battle and the grown up side of myself knows what the benefits are.

My kid side still calls vanilla ice cream unflavored too. So things have to be pretty bold to even be considered “ flavored” on that scale let alone blocking the taste of anything gross.

so yeah that is the struggle. Oh and I get migraines and it seems like mixing certain things with kratom makes them migraine triggers even if I can do them alone.

cinnamon for example is great on toast or rolls but too soon before or after kratom or mixed with it, instant migraine.

so far, the 2 best things I have found to flavor kratom are lemonade ( which I had a weird reaction to but I’m going to try a different brand)

and a mix of black tea, coconut milk and a bit of regular milk (whole although I plan to try it with other percentages too),

The worst thing so far was mint tea it seems to enhance the earthy taste of the kratom

peach tea was a close second on the worst tasting ideas list.

For travel I hope to come up with something that is completely powdered that I can just add water to.
At the moment, I pre-measure my kratom and put it and SwissMiss hot chocolate mix in empty mini M&M containers and carry them in sandwich ziplock bags in case they spill

Chocolate whole milk completely blocks the taste of the kratom but I try to keep that for when I am under the weather and feel like if it is at all bitter it won’t stay down ( during a full on migraine usually)

Anyway, coconut seems to be the heavy lifter in my tea mix. Now if I can just find powdered coconut extract...

Going to try a bit of maple syrup today too since my housemates are doing pancakes for dinner tonight and I offered to treat for real maple syrup instead of fake pancake syrup junk

I will keep updating this thread with experimental results. It might help someone else, who knows?

one other thing, I know I could put the kratom in capsules but I find drinking it helps me stay on track with my hydration goals. Drinking water or anything without carbonation is another item on the list of chores my kid side hates. So yeah somehow mixing the 2 chores together makes them both more doable
It kills germs really well, and it gets you high AF. I tried it once.
The Only Gay Sex I Practice Nowadays Involves The Socratic Koan, "What Is The Sound Of One Hand Clapping?"

Whois The Master Beta?
Who Will Oversee The Overseer?
Who Will Watch The Watchers?
Aries: It's Not All About You!
Taurus: Stubborn, Intolerant, Overly Acquisitive.
Gemini: You Need To Finish What You Start.
Cancer: You Are Crabby AF.
Leo: They Say You Are A Good Leader, But You're Also Pushy. And Can Be A Bully.
Virgo: You Would Be A Good School Bus Driver.
Libra: You Are Completely Devilish.
Scorpio: You Would Be A Good Mortician.
Sagittarius: You Are A Space Cadet.
Capricorn: Awkward, Boring.
Aquarius: You Are A Perverted Psychopath.
Pisces: Wishy Washy.
Last night I got up to turn off my bedroom light and I was back in bed before the room was dark... Lol, but seriously, I'm faster than you.
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