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Withdrawal & Craving MEGA-thread

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^ I understand that you want to be sober, but really, for your health, maybe you should taper instead of outright stop?
 
Deep thoughts come my mind sometimes during this frickin' benzo wd. I thought today for a long time since that I want to die. This is far more challenging mentally than I never wanted.
Pop benzos for the rest of your life or go through a hell. And I have the worst personality type for this.
 
surprisingly enough im doing good on the physical side i started working out again if that has anything to do with it but on the mental side of the field i want a good dose of morphine but im going to hold off let my tolerance drop
 
urgh starting to need to up the subs again - mild opioid withdrawal
annoying but manageable i spose

i see the doctor at the clinic on monday and im hoping if he just puts me up 1mg it shud hold me...
 
the only thing i'm craving is my boyfriend's (i guess i should say ex, since i left him tuesday night) arms around me... and my poodle cotton's kisses. he kept my dog from me and i'm about to lose my mind. i'm having hallucinations where i see him. i thought he was at the foot of the bed, where he always sleeps... and when i realized it wasn't him i lost it. i'm so messed up in the head right now. i don't know what to do with myself.
 
carsons_koolaid said:
the only thing i'm craving is my boyfriend's (i guess i should say ex, since i left him tuesday night) arms around me... and my poodle cotton's kisses. he kept my dog from me and i'm about to lose my mind. i'm having hallucinations where i see him. i thought he was at the foot of the bed, where he always sleeps... and when i realized it wasn't him i lost it. i'm so messed up in the head right now. i don't know what to do with myself.
Click to expand...
Close your eyes and fill your mind with music that you like
Or go for a walk
 
Muscles feel stiff. My body is in stress and it is starting to get into my mind. I WANT TO SCREAM THAT THIS FUCKING HURTS! I would so want to have a full body massage, preferably by a hot fitness woman.

This is agony... I feel so restless... The self-hypnosis cds are downloading... At least I can drop myself with Seroquel, but I struggle couple hours, If I could watch Matchstick Men which comes soon from the TV.
 
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I am OK now, muscles feel surprisingly relaxed, but I have taken 12,5 milligrams of quetiapine.
 
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Now that I am not alone anymore in this halfway house, I started noticing my physical withdrawal symptoms. Fucking whole body tremors. I have an ability to relax already, so they stopped now.
 
I can't even make it to the withdrawal stage. I succumb to the intense cravings first. I lie, cheat and munipulate my way to more drugs. Im the one with the connects so money keeps coming at me, but it's not for me. It's hard to balance it all, I owe people money and drugs. Today I am using company money to buy and Im going to have to explain this next week, maybe even loose my job, I don't know. But I can't stop it, or don't want to.
 
Argh, bollocks! If i'd known how intense drug cravings can be, I would have stayed well away from opiates.

I've relapsed a number of times due to boredom and as a way of coping/escaping stress. Hmm, I seem to manage ok when i'm at home, away from university but when I go back I fall back on bad habits. I guess it doesn't help that I don't get on with my housemates particulary well and my friends, well we only hang out when it involves drinking. :|

Obviously i'm grateful for the support from my family but at 25yrs old I shouldn't be relying on them so much. Bah, it just sucks when you feel as though you're alone. I know I can make it better but it's so much easier just to use opiates to fill the void. BLAHHHHHHHH, i'm being a soppy cunt. Bloody wd's. :X
 
I'm not craving or w/ding. Although last summer I would have been. I am a little upset my xanax script didn't go threw today. Oh well.
 
7th day without diazepam. At the point of half life. Restlessness, muscle stiffness, anxiety, depression. I am so tired too.
 
^I hate the tiredness too. I always nod off and spend half my day napping. Although, I guess thats better than not being able to sleep!
 
No physical cravings or withdrawal, and no desire for drug, but craving the feelings I got from the drug, albeit fake.
Bit of a contradictory time coming off speed innit, when your in that phase where you know you cant face the stuff itself, but you crave what it brings.
 
The dreams have been the worst part of the cravings lately.

2 nights ago Lacey K shot me up and I woke up feeling fantastic. The feeling faded quickly.

Last night, I railed a bunch of powder and shoved what I had left in front of my stepdads nose. He loved it and we went on a run. He understood the excitement of it all.
 
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