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Withdrawal & Craving MEGA-thread

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Madmike

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Nov 17, 2007
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If you have bad cravings or suffer from withdrawal of any kind, here you can tell it.
 
I am so exhausted. My daily benzo intake was cut by 30% yesterday. And I get nastiest sickness if nitrazepam is reduced. I don't want to get up from the bed but I have to soon. Even writing this is difficult. It is hard to explain. I shouldn't tell what various drugs I crave because I am keeping that as a secret from my self too, I think when I get my life back I'll start using EVERYTHING again, but not speed or alcohol. Or that is how I sometimes feel, in my weak moments.
 
My close friend just relapsed after 2 years clean time. I have 6 months clean time and made plans to get some dope Monday. Hopefully I'll change my mind by then. I've had chances to get it these past 2 weeks but said no. She is even willing to drive there and pick it up for me cuz I'm too scared to drive to the bad parts of the city since I don't have my own connects anymore. I'm scared that one time will cause a relapse and once ur addicted its easy to get w/d after a short time. I wish she was still clean so I wouldn't have the desire. It's stupid for me to even consider it but I guess thats cravings calling. Dope is such a nice feeling.
 
Honestly, intherapy, think of all the bullshit. It feels like having a part of you chopped off.
 
InTherapy82 said:
My close friend just relapsed after 2 years clean time. I have 6 months clean time and made plans to get some dope Monday. Hopefully I'll change my mind by then. I've had chances to get it these past 2 weeks but said no. She is even willing to drive there and pick it up for me cuz I'm too scared to drive to the bad parts of the city since I don't have my own connects anymore. I'm scared that one time will cause a relapse and once ur addicted its easy to get w/d after a short time. I wish she was still clean so I wouldn't have the desire. It's stupid for me to even consider it but I guess thats cravings calling. Dope is such a nice feeling.
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If you have ever been addicted before then using just once will result in very intense cravings that will persist for a long time and you're 99% sure to relapse. It's just the way the brain works I'm afraid.
 
InTherapy please dont we need you around here not out running the streets and fucking up your life :(
peace love and light
mat
 
^Thanks for the kind words of support. I want my friend to stop buying it also. But I can't tell her parents cuz they'll kick her out and with her criminal record she can't support herself. I brought her some suboxone so she can take that when she has cravings. I don't know what else I can do to stop her. She's been doing good and if she gets caught she'll probably go to jail. And with her doing dope and being my friend it's putting me at risk for relapse. And I don't want to stop talking to her cuz I'm her only friend. Stupid situation. I've known her since 8th grade. Gotta be strong. I'll talk to my mom, she knows about my past addiction. I thought about me and my mom kidnapping my friend and taking her to my mom's house. My mom cried when she found out my friend was clean for 2 years.
 
1,600 mg of codeine has kept the baddies away today. Expecting pods to arrive sometime next week, hopefully monday, I wish the postal service ran on weekends.

IMO if you pay a fuckload for priority mail they should continue shipping it on the weekends, showing that it is in fact, a priority and not just an overpriced occasionally faster service bound to the same limitations as regular mail.

Fuck you Canada Post.
 
^Fuck Heroin, seriously. Just flush that shit down the toilet. I did that once long time ago when first feeling the grip of addiction years ago. Didn't work with my recent dope addiction.

I just found out that u can get codeine on the internet from a Polish online pharmacy. I take 1mg of sub per day. Do u think 15mg pills will do anything to me? I'm assuming not since someone here mentioned 1600mg. That's like hundreds of pills.

I don't even want this shit. Bad idea cuz once the dope feeling is gone I'll want more and more and more...into infinity. The feeling is good but I do stupid shit when the mania of high hits. Like go buy a bunch of craft shit that once the dope wears off I won't use.

We should all make a pact not to use. And give ourselves stars for each time we said no.
 
^Codeine is only relaxing, no euphoria, doesn't last long, but it's cheap.. which is a good thing. Good dose of codeine is ~300 mg, it has a ceiling of 400mg, which limits the potential. Codeine is only really decent if you combine it with something else, maybe some benzos or a few beer, a couple of bowls something along those lines.

But if you got a tolerance codeine won't do jack, make you a little sleepy maybe, but overly not worth wasting money on if you're taking subs.
 
^ Yeah, that's what I thought. It's like a $1/for 450mg online thou. Is that cheap? Is that even allowed to be said here since it's pricing info?
 
InTherapy--Do NOT use. Please. Honestly, I will find out where I will be Monday (either at work or at home) by Sunday and I will send you that phone number and you can call me instead of going and getting dope.

I'm in chicago area too, so it'll be local :) <3
 
Thanks, I'll try. Chances are I won't. IF my partner found he'd probably not even wanna look at me. He's my biggest deterrent from use. We were both hooked and he knows I have an addictive personality so now he doesn't even bring any drugs to the house. Which is good cuz I take anything that's mood altering. So fucked up. I really need to be in a totally drug free environment in order to stay clean.

xxkcxx...how r u doing when it comes to dope? are u taking a break or still using?

the sad part is that I wouldn't even need to leave my house. My friend would bring it here.
 
^ well then when she calls you to tell you she wants to come over, you tell her "let me call you back" and then call me and ignore her for awhile.


I'm not doing well at all. I'm stopping on Monday because I have probation in a week, but I'm guessing I'll pick up where I left off after that. Things have to get better though because I'll be starting to see the PO 2X a month instead of one, so that'll cut into my using quite a bit. Blessing in disguise I get. I've been really upping my dose the past couple days.
 
InTherapy82: god damn it has been made easy for you.
There must be something you can think of which would ease the cravings? You need to do something fun now that you are sober, even you'd have depressed thoughts. Do you know anyone who would make you laugh? make a phonecall. If everything seems too difficult, could you take some suboxone over that 1 mg?
 
intherapy - id agree on upping the subs
1mg is a tiny dose - it takes me 20mg to stop craving heroin

im in a similar situation to u
i normally block my (methamphetamine) cravings with constant activity
unfortunately constant activity to me is riding my horse, and hes quite strong - doesnt bode well wen ive got phlebitis in my upper arm

i can ride another horse im working with for my friend (milly - dubbed a 'problem horse' due to her constant bucking but to give her credit shes newly-broken and my friend uses a shit dentist so her teeth might b bothering her, plus shes 13 and probly a bit alarmed at us suddenly getting on her back wen shes used to being a broodmare)
she has a softer mouth than maverick (meaning she doesnt pull) but shes a boring ride cos shes only just learning to walk and trot with ppl on her back

with maverick, my cravings r curbed by galloping, trail-riding, competing and jumping
its almost like meth without the needle

so im suddenly craving my adrenaline fix
in the past thats always bn meth
so im craving meth
a lot

i guess i just take it one day at a time the way i always hav
prayer helps - as does snuggling with my bf and talking to him honestly about how im feeling

i dont find steering the topic away from meth in the least bit helpful cos its still on my mind so i just talk about it and how im fiending and luckily pauls a gd listener

also im doing an outpatient program and i told my counsellor today i was fiending for meth
i think its best to make as many ppl as poss aware of the situation so they can b there to support u
 
^I dunno if we'll ever stop craving meth. I know I wouldnt touch opiates if someone offered me some right now but meth, Id go for it for sure but only because I know the next day I wont me in agonizing physical WD's.

Neither of them are worth it though.

Sounds like you really love and know your horses DW, im glad you have a healthy passion that you can persue for the rest of your life.

But a good 300mg shot of meth would go greeeaaat right now but that would totally contradict the last few posts ive made so im gonna have to get this off my mind for now.

Im just siting on 6mg xanax and a glass of chardonnay, kinda wish it was whiskey but a glass of wine every now and then is nice. I had some Argentinian red the other night and it was some of the best wine ive ever had outside of Italy and Europe. Its amazing how absolutely shit cask wine is compared to a good quality wine but good wine is expensive which I guess is a good thing because I like to save it for special occasions. Im so glad though that I cant really feel my opiate WD's atm. Im off to bed soon though before the benzo's wear off and im in pain again.


All I need now is a partner and im sure that will make things a hell of a lot easier. I just hope theres someone out there who's wiling to love someone as fucked up as me.
 
the_ketaman said:
All I need now is a partner and im sure that will make things a hell of a lot easier. I just hope theres someone out there who's wiling to love someone as fucked up as me.
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I have thought that I don't want to find a partner when I am fucked up, because I wouldn't love myself and then couldn't love her then either.

In the morning when my blood sugar was low, I got some odd cravings for wine, 15%vol. which has a lot of sugar in it and tastes like sweet juice.
 
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