Withdrawal & Craving MEGA-thread

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im so drained of energy and depressed. Havent had crack in like 3-4 days, i dnt even remember. Cravings are intense atm and i cant stop sweating. I want a blast sooo bad , this is awful :X:X:(:!:X:(
 
1st time on BL in months (since I quit the non-smokable Sch I-s) ..
My bank account has never been so empty, and I've never felt so desperately clean .. Downing the usual supply of local beer in lieu of AirCon, and as always its not doing the trick.
Got clean last month due to health issues; this month it was the job search that had me prematurely forfeiting my stash. Once my brain clears itself of the cobwebs, its on to the predicable schedule of boredom, punctuated by brief waking dreams of drug-induced bliss.
Payday is still a fortnight away, but I think a trip to the big city is in my future .. I still have one bank account left to cash out.
 
Uh I have equated craving to a little green monster that lives in my brain. If he doesn't get the drugs he wants he goes nuts. he starts beating on the inside of your brain and chewing on your neurons. Ripping out things like common sense, your future, your self-worth, your dignity...whatever if it doesn't get fed enough.
Just chewing and chewing...in this case saying "meth, meth, meth, meth."
It doesn't matter even if I do feed him. I can only afford a quarter of a gram. By the 2nd hit the pounding and screaming stops...only to return when the pipe is empty.
Damn it all to hell. A quarter of a gram is just enough to make you want more!
 
would quite like some xanax (well alot), my neck feels so stiff and tensed up i can barely move it and my anxiety is through the roof.
 
I've been clean from adderall six days and this is discouraging... I hope it'll be much better in a month. Maybe it's better not to be clean, I don't know..... I'm not sure why I'm getting clean myself except I want to give sobriety a chance - lol

Wingnutlives..i hope things are getting better for you? i ask myself every god damn day why i'm "getting clean". how long and how much did you use..i know its a bit late to give encouraging words for the beginning part but in my opinion the long withdrawn part called life is the hardest. let me know how your doin?

This sucks! WHEN DOES IT GET BETTER???

The one day at a time thing... well TODAY SUCKS. I feel that if I can't get high and numb out, I'm going to explode. I am so angry and frustrated. I cry all the time. I've even done stuff to hurt myself, just to feel something else other than what's going on inside.

Chris..oh man i can only imagine. my bf quit heroin around the same time i quit addys and i can only imagine. i dont think it ever get better. :(




I quit using adderall on a regular basis for 37 day..and then i faultered. ive done it atleast 3 or 4 times since and i dont really know if that counts as a relapse. heh. i just couldnt handle life without addys. i havnt tweaked in two months and 7 days. but as i said before i slipped up and took atleast 90+ mgs each of the 4 times. :( does it ever get better? or should i just say fuck it and give in..the devils are killing me man.
 
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