So here is my open letter:
To Dolly Doctor,
I am single first and foremost because I'm completely selfish and can't imagine having to share my time with someone who would be more of a hinderance than an interest. I don't want to date your cousin or your workmate and the fact you think I would be so desperate as to need someone to be set up with is an insult, even if you don't mean it to be. I sporadically have new men in my life but if I don't talk about them first it probably means I don't like them very much and I would prefer you don't bring them up. People in couples are rarely truly jealous of the single however they like to say things to make others think they're still on the hip side of married.
Kindest regard(s),
UAN