The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

[JessHalo]

lol is that a joke kate or are we sharing? * real laugh*

 

[Bluebell]

lol is that a joke kate or are we sharing? * real laugh*

*cough* think Kates sharing her perverted ways, dirty mare

 

[JessHalo]

wrong.. very wrong.

Nigella should be pissing on a big bowl of Delias mashed potato. Now thats hot!

 

[koneko]

 

[badandwicked]

Why do seagulls live by the sea?

Cos if they lived by the bay they'd be bagels.

 

[maxalfie]

Convince people that you were famous in the 1970's by walking grim faced out of a police station.

 

[pinkpapaver]

what keeps Dracula's wife awake at night ?


His Coffin.....

my answer to that is the answer to this joke.

why does santa have three gardens?

so he can hoe hoe hoe :D

 

[pinkpapaver]

Convince people that you were famous in the 1970's by walking grim faced out of a police station.

^ another good un.

i threw my toast out of the window this morning because i wanted to see the butter fly

 

[badandwicked]

Had to get the guys from AA to tow me home tonight coz of the snow.
It was a right laugh, 6 pissed up dudes pulling me on a sledge, they were all over the place.

 

[mattnotrik]

Wait till SHM or sam the grim face reads that..............I find it damn funny but on EADD stuff about Jew's don't go down to well, trust me on that one.

Nothing goes down well with sam really, anything at all in fact. My picture of a bacon butty was so outrageous and offensive he edited my post and put NSFW tags on it...


My Protestant girlfriend just bought a pair of Union Jack knickers.

Every time I take them down there's a fucking protest.

 

[maxalfie]

I just went to check my Tesco burgers are in date. Aaannd they're off.

 

[jancrow]

Good one!

 

[swedger77]

RAY PARLOUR. If you need extra income, open up a tanning salon and name it after yourself.

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

RAY PARLOUR. If you need extra income, open up a tanning salon and name it after yourself.

LOL etc.

 

[pinkpapaver]

Veggie burgers r next to be taken of the shelves . Apparently they were found to contain traces of Uni-Quorn

Interesting to see that "Shergar Bum" is an anagram of "Hamburgers"

GOT BARRED FROM TESCO CAFE TODAY WHEN I WAS ASKED IF I WANTED ANYTHING ON MY BURGER,,,,,,I SAID £5 EACH WAY PLEASE,,,!!!

Tesco Quarter Pounders: The affordable way to buy your daughter the pony that she's always wanted!

 

[Shambles]

UniQuorn

 

[strungout2010]

I just went to check my Tesco burgers are in date. Aaannd they're off.

BRILLIANT ! ...............i just woke the Mrs up to tell her that , but for some reason she didn't find it very funny ? miserable bitch.

 

[pinkpapaver]

Best burgers recipe. Mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions. I mean.... Scallions..

 

[ponch]

A cow walks into a bar. Barman says 'why the long face?'

Cow says 'Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!

 

[Ismene]

George Best drank so much he had someone elses liver removed.