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Sexual Preferences vs "Transphobia"

phantom_alyce said:
I've slept with a variety of people of different races, religions, genders, and sexualities. I have not been with a trans man though, and that's purely out of coincidence (I simply haven't met any). Not wanting to sleep with someone because of their genitalia is not transphobic by definition, it's simply preference. I could say I have a preference towards men of a certain race, but I think that is the issue; stating what you are or are not into is when the "race/phobic/so-on card" pops up. People just can't say "no", they feel the need to go on long hate-fueled tangents. "Phobia/phobic = a dislike, fear, or aversion to something." People try to argue with the actual definition of a word/words, and follow it up with what they learned in a 3rd grade biology lesson without realising education continues after that, and that ignorance only worsens the situation. Everyone has preferences, people need to learn to just say "no/not interested/no thanks".
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I think the issue is not having a genital preference, but refusing to sleep with a trans person who has had bottom surgery simply because they are trans, or constantly bringing up your unwillingness to sleep with trans people in unrelated conversations as a way to be transphobic.

Not sleeping with or only sleeping with certain races is fucking weird, though.
 
It's not weird at all. Sleeping with others is sexual, and is biological, and biologically I'm not interested in sleeping with someone whom I can not get pregnant. That has been normal for thousands of years. Having a preference for sleeping with the opposite sex of your race compared to other races is not abnormal.
 
Idk --- hypothetically (this hasnt happened I live in the styx, theres no trans ppl lol) if I found someone attractive but than found out they had a dong --- or honestly use to have a penis even, I would be out.

(Does that make me transphobic?) Maybe it says more about me that I would bail based on past history. (Probably does in fact)

Thinking about the woman I am with as a man at any point would just stall the engine --- even if it was a natural woman who acted too much like a man. Way beyond tomboyish --- the ick the kids call it I believe. I am not immune lol

This is just an honest take from a hick in the middle of nowhere, who should be pretty desperate to get laid by all rational logic.
 
@Electrum1 Trans people have existed for thousands of years, it occurs naturally during the gestation period shortly after conception. And sleeping with someone for pleasure has been normal for thousands of years. They (trans individuals) have just suddenly been boosted into the spotlight now as a political pawn. Not wanting to sleep with someone due to whether or not they have the correct genitals to be impregnated, is technically genital preference.

@arrall I'm viewing it from the bigoted stand point of not accepting someone who is born differently, but I see your point!
 
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Electrum1 said:
It's not weird at all. Sleeping with others is sexual, and is biological, and biologically I'm not interested in sleeping with someone whom I can not get pregnant. That has been normal for thousands of years. Having a preference for sleeping with the opposite sex of your race compared to other races is not abnormal.
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So you never have sex unless you are attempting to get pregnant?

And we are talking about people who have had full “sex changes” and are therefore sexually indistinguishable from those of the opposite sex outside of their ability to reproduce.

I also don’t understand your argument against not sleeping with people of different races. Do you think that non-white people can’t get pregnant?
 
notsmokeymcpot420 said:
Idk --- hypothetically (this hasnt happened I live in the styx, theres no trans ppl lol) if I found someone attractive but than found out they had a dong --- or honestly use to have a penis even, I would be out.

(Does that make me transphobic?) Maybe it says more about me that I would bail based on past history. (Probably does in fact)
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This could be worth examining.
Why would you care?
 
arrall said:
I think the issue is not having a genital preference, but refusing to sleep with a trans person who has had bottom surgery simply because they are trans
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Is this really that odd? It's certainly not 'phobic'. If someone is legitimately 'cis' and heterosexual, why would they want to deviate at all?
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Is this really that odd? It's certainly not 'phobic'. If someone is legitimately 'cis' and heterosexual, why would they want to deviate at all?
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We’re talking about trans people who are completely indistinguishable from cisgender people of their preferred gender based on body shape and characteristics and genitals following hormone treatment and surgery.
At that point, what is stopping you?
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Well that's odd; what if a woman had a hysterectomy or tubes tied or IUD or is on the pill?
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Then Electrum clearly wouldn’t be interested, since he is only interested in sex for the purpose of reproduction.

Given that he has never mentioned having children, I presume he must be a virgin if his argument is an honest one rather than a thinly veiled attempt to justify transphobia.
 
arrall said:
We’re talking about trans people who are completely indistinguishable from cisgender people of their preferred gender based on body shape and characteristics and genitals following hormone treatment and surgery.
At that point, what is stopping you?
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Nothing would stop me but I'm not 100% hetero lol. I just don't think if someone is hungup on being straight that it should be considered 'phobic' just because they like women who have a uterus.
 
I think it might be similar to what smokeymcpot said. Someone's life history can impact your interest, it's mental right?

I don't like women that have been ran through. Sure a one night stand, whatever. Probably wouldn't give them oral though. And for life partner, maybe it was my Catholic upbringing, but I prefer being with someone who has never been with someone else. And that's a mental hangup right? Nothing wrong with that in my book.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
I don't like women that have been ran through.
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I’m not a big fan of that language…
It feels a bit misogynistic.
But if you want someone who has had less sexual experience (and thus is more likely to not be as good at sex) then that’s your choice, I guess?
Cream Gravy? said:
Sure a one night stand, whatever. Probably wouldn't give them oral though.
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Showers are a thing.
Cream Gravy? said:
And for life partner, maybe it was my Catholic upbringing, but I prefer being with someone who has never been with someone else. And that's a mental hangup right? Nothing wrong with that in my book.
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And it always comes back to Catholicism :(

You know that they destroyed every existing known copy of The Book of Eve, a biblical text that advocated for celebrating the bodies of women and the menstrual cycle, pulling out during sex / having recreational sex, oral sex, etc.?
If it wasn’t for the work of the Catholic Church, Christianity would be advocating for people to have healthier relationships with our bodies and enjoy recreational sex.
And a lot less kids would have gotten molested….
 
arrall said:
Why not? What is the difference there at that point for the purposes of reproductive sex?
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Because some people (maybe yourself, idk) are hungup in their own way on trying to out and define hangups as being xPhobic or hateful, when sex is a completely gut related thing. Why do I like girls wearing Chuck Taylors? Hell if I know but I like it. Why do I hate when women wear 2000s mom jeans? Heck if I know. Probably an accumulation of external stimuli over the course of my life that created dislikes and likes that are entirely subconscious. Like if a girl used urban slang around me, it would shrink my dick into a turtle type thing. Why? Probably an accumulation of external stimuli over my life that tells me 'no'.
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Because some people (maybe yourself, idk) are hungup in their own way on trying to out and define hangups as being xPhobic or hateful, when sex is a completely gut related thing. Why do I like girls wearing Chuck Taylors? Hell if I know but I like it. Why do I hate when women wear 2000s mom jeans? Heck if I know. Probably an accumulation of external stimuli over the course of my life that created dislikes and likes that are entirely subconscious. Like if a girl used urban slang around me, it would shrink my dick into a turtle type thing. Why? Probably an accumulation of external stimuli over my life that tells me 'no'.
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Let’s say that you had no way of telling and she never brought it up, though.
What then?
 
Cream Gravy? said:
Probably an accumulation of external stimuli over my life that tells me 'no'.
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And is it really so inaccurate to posit that said stimuli is the constant transphobia pushed by patriarchal, insecure culture that would rather we hate transgender people and ethnic minorities than focus that anger on the billionaires and politicians and the Epstein class?
 
Cream Gravy? said:
So I'm a bit of a prude. Why is that the world's business? It only effects the sex life of myself and my partner.
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Like I said, it is your choice to feel that way.
I’m more interested in discussing why people seem adamant that they don’t want to fuck people who are trans but have the physical appearance and genitals to make them indistinguishable from cis people of their chosen gender, or people who refuse to fuck people of a different ethnicity and skin colour.

Those are the conversations that I believe need to be happening.

If you think it is important to be saving yourself for marriage with a partner who does the same and you aren’t forcing it on others, then that is your choice and I hope it works well for you.
 
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