• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Self-harm support thread v. 3

Hey guys, haven't posted in a really long time on here but I'll probably be doing so again for a little while.

Since it's summer and I'd be in a bikini around people I've tried my fucking hardest not to cut. (I cut my upper/outer thighs.) People have seen and asked about all the scars so I guess it doesn't even matter.

Anyway, I've been having a real hard time lately. I gave in and cut both yesterday and today, and I don't even feel any better about anything.
 
For some reason, all the tragic events that have occurred over the last two years have all been on my mind at once lately and I can't stop thinking about them. Literally all day every day at work I have to fight back the tears, and the second I get in my car to go home I start sobbing. I go home, lay in bed and cry pretty much the rest of the day til I fall asleep. It sounds so lame and cliche but I'm not exaggerating one bit.
 
iv'e been using h for a little over 2 years now and its been about 4 or 5 months since ive cut. Lately its been getting alot harder to find reasons why not to. My lifes just gone to shit lately and i just cant seem to out of this fuckn state of apathy im in. It just seems like nothing is going to get to better. I know things could be alot worse than they are right now, I know i need to change something in my life, but for some reason i cant stop fucking up
 
^^ Yeah I know what you mean hun, when things just all seem to be shit at the same time. It's too much sometimes.
If you could change one thing about your life right now, what would it be?


Tootsie, it's not lame or cliched hun <3
Have you ever gotten help for your depression or anything? If you've been in this rut for a while and you can't seem to get yourself out, perhaps its time to think about getting help?
 
It sounds so stupid when i think about it but all i realy need at the moment is to get a job. Im not realy sure how bad my situation is right now, as of maybe a month ago i as still on the shit list. I ran into one of the people ive been trying to avoid and she was still threating to kill me. So im trying to decide if i should just leave the city but i need money to do that. I dont know what the fuck i should do
 
It's not stupid at all! It's really important for a number of reasons, work gives us something to do, and motivates us and makes us feel like we've acheived something, and also provides us money so we can do the things we want/need to do.
So #1 task should be to get a job, could you just go down to your local supermarket and ask if they have any positions vacant? If you want to leave your city and start afresh somewhere else, it'll take about a month's worth of pay to do that, do you reckon? But once you get a job you can start getting regular money, and work towards happiness <3
 
yeah thats what im going to start doing tomorrow. Im trying to make a list tonight of places to go. Im trying to stay positive but its hard to keep all those negative thought . I just cant help feeling that im going to fail and im going to end out on the streets. I have to try though, i just need to focus on staying clean at least off of the stuff that stays in your system for longer than 3 days.
 
Yeah hun I know it's hard to stay focussed, especially when your brain is stuck in a loop of negative thoughts. Stay strong though, I am sure you will get a job, even if it's not tomorrow or the next day, just keep on trying hun. Then once you land a job you will instantly feel a bit better about yourself and be able to stay on track <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
Tootsie, it's not lame or cliched hun <3
Have you ever gotten help for your depression or anything? If you've been in this rut for a while and you can't seem to get yourself out, perhaps its time to think about getting help?
Click to expand...

My doctors put me on SSRI's when I was 18 but I didn't like taking them, now I wouldn't care, I'd take the fuck out of them. I don't really know how I can get any real help. I have no insurance, no money and no one I can even talk to anymore. Coming back and posting on BL was my last resort.
 
Hey Tootsie, if you ever need to vent...

Tootsie said:
My doctors put me on SSRI's when I was 18 but I didn't like taking them, now I wouldn't care, I'd take the fuck out of them. I don't really know how I can get any real help. I have no insurance, no money and no one I can even talk to anymore. Coming back and posting on BL was my last resort.
Click to expand...
Aside from posting on my most frequented thread you also have an amazing "Blooper" avatar! I'd go pink Shyguy, but that's me ;) Please let me know if you ever need a shoulder to...type on. You are beautiful and worth of happiness!
 
Shyguy? decent, decent.....

I'd still go with Bombomb.... although I always wondered if goombas would be psychedelic if eaten. After all, they do walk around on their own.
=D
 
By far the more dangerous non-boss bad guy...

Ixchellian said:
Shyguy? decent, decent.....

I'd still go with Bombomb.... although I always wondered if goombas would be psychedelic if eaten. After all, they do walk around on their own.
=D
Click to expand...

But Mouser is superior! I can still play the regular NES Super Mario Bro.s 2 in about twenty minutes. Yeah, I'm old school like that! I love 8-bit!
 
^^ Hehe take it to PMs you two ;) <3

Tootsie said:
My doctors put me on SSRI's when I was 18 but I didn't like taking them, now I wouldn't care, I'd take the fuck out of them. I don't really know how I can get any real help. I have no insurance, no money and no one I can even talk to anymore. Coming back and posting on BL was my last resort.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure what services are available in your area but is there a community center that offers free or reduced-cost counselling? That would be a great start hun, it's worth checking out <3
 
Thank you littlegirlblue. <3

And n3o I don't think there's anything like that in my area or even in a near by city, but I'll look into it a little more. Thank you.
 
even though I'm not religious by a damn sight..... padres make for good free counselling. yeh just gotta wade through parables sometimes to get at the crux of their advice.

They also usually have contacts with a lot of local free community/mental-health resources.

Sometimes there's no way around it; hurt pride or no, I've stooped to those, shelters & free food from soup-kitchens to stay afloat.

Just gotta let the mind lead out of the shit, and the ass will follow.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top