☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

[Deleted member 521610]

Stay strong buzz I can tell you now you are not a shit person. And if anybody says you are they are a asshole. My best friend is bipolar and i see him in many states but i always will understand him because deep down he has a good heart when even in hypo manic impulsive states he might be acting very ego centric.

I always learnt to accept everybody and i really do feel for those who suffer from bipolar because it is not there fault its something they have to deal with that people won't understand without having it. Sadly society still seems to judge those who struggle when its truly no fault of their own they should be grateful they don't have to suffer from such challenges in life with mental health. So fuck them you are a good person man i can tell easily. 20's is truly a rough period like Xoroth said.

We have to learn to also not judge ourselves to hard this is something i always do so hard on every mistake i make every situation i fuck up while on a crazy drug / alcohol fueled mood.

Man i always see people promoting anti bullying messages yet they bully and judge the most and if you are not in the norm of whatever bullshit standard society set then so many assholes will judge said person instead of ever reaching out and offering help for said persons struggles they go through. I see it all the time. Which is why my best and closest friends will always be those who went life with tough problems because they always the most accepting. Yet i see all the time people had their life handed on a silver platter with never a worry or anything bad judge everybody act all high and mighty.

hang in there bro and i hope you manage to find something that helps you get through life.

 

[Cream Gravy?]

Stay strong buzz I can tell you now you are not a shit person.

Seconded; anyone who can believe themselves to be a bad person clearly isn't one. To have the self awareness to think such a thought means you're already good enough to worry about how you treat others

 

[cosmic charlie]

It's not an easy life having bipolar I have been symptomatic since my teens. Some years are worse then others I deal with Maria sometimes Buzz and Lamictal deff helps it I would give it a try. Lithium interacts with all kinds of drugs including psychedelics like LSD so id be wary of it if you plan to keep on tripping. I find that the psychs help me tremendously with the depression and I deal with that pretty significantly at times. Id give the Lamictal a try before you go on something heavier, thats just my opinion.

 

[Xorkoth]

No, I insisted on trying sober for a while. Apparently Lamictal doesn't do too much for (hypo)mania which is my biggest issue, I think. Lithium was floated.
I mostly don't want to give up psychedelics, it's the only thing keeping me in touch with my true self so to say.

Totally understandable. From what I have heard (from Charlie and others), Lamictal does not really interact with psychedelics. Lithium certainly does though, as you know.

You're definitely not a bad person.

 

[Xorkoth]

I don't remember if I posted this in here, but on Friday I was trying to work out a complex issue at work, hoping to highly customize the programmers' workspace in our new software platform. I worked way late, on and off until about midnight, trying to get it work. Finally I gave up, and figured when I got back to it after not thinking about it, I'd figure it out. Well, sure enough, I did. I started looking at it again this morning, and thought of a new, much simpler approach, and the first attempt was a success. It always works out that way, it seems, with programming.

Also, Python is the shit, I'm loving it.

 

[JackARoe]

I don't remember if I posted this in here, but on Friday I was trying to work out a complex issue at work, hoping to highly customize the programmers' workspace in our new software platform. I worked way late, on and off until about midnight, trying to get it work. Finally I gave up, and figured when I got back to it after not thinking about it, I'd figure it out. Well, sure enough, I did. I started looking at it again this morning, and thought of a new, much simpler approach, and the first attempt was a success. It always works out that way, it seems, with programming.

Thanks Xorkoth. Perfect example of how a lessening of resistance enables thigs to happen. The path of least resistance is how to let the answer in. I can be a weird guy at work, when we are stuck on something I will suggest we close our eyes and take our mind off the problem to let the answer in. lol I mean every answer is right here, but sometimes trying to hard is the resistance that prevents the answers from coming through. I have often solved programs by taking my dog to the park and not thinking about the problem. Then out of the blue the answer comes and it works.

When I was in programming school out last project was due the next day. So it is 10:30PM in the computer lab. Lab closes at 11:00PM. 20 of us have our programs done but could not get them to execute. So I go out to my car, take a full pulls from my pipe and the answer came to me. I went back to the lab, it is 10:45PM. I try what I just thought and it worked!. Then the rest of the class was copying my screen. One guy says wow you reak man, so I cover up the screen and say do you want the answer or not? lol (freaking nerd) We all passed the next day.

I hope everyone is feeling and staying well. My favorite Robert Hunter statement: Don't let the bastards steal your heart along with your hat and hand bag!

 

[Deleted member 521610]

going to sign up to the gym today. Got myself creatine and protein powder and a meal plan. Jacked dude on roids at the shop was really chill and helpful.

Going to start mostly with free weights to build my strength up first to a decent level. i really need to work on some tricep strength.

 

[Xorkoth]

Thanks Xorkoth. Perfect example of how a lessening of resistance enables thigs to happen. The path of least resistance is how to let the answer in. I can be a weird guy at work, when we are stuck on something I will suggest we close our eyes and take our mind off the problem to let the answer in. lol I mean every answer is right here, but sometimes trying to hard is the resistance that prevents the answers from coming through. I have often solved programs by taking my dog to the park and not thinking about the problem. Then out of the blue the answer comes and it works.

When I was in programming school out last project was due the next day. So it is 10:30PM in the computer lab. Lab closes at 11:00PM. 20 of us have our programs done but could not get them to execute. So I go out to my car, take a full pulls from my pipe and the answer came to me. I went back to the lab, it is 10:45PM. I try what I just thought and it worked!. Then the rest of the class was copying my screen. One guy says wow you reak man, so I cover up the screen and say do you want the answer or not? lol (freaking nerd) We all passed the next day.

I hope everyone is feeling and staying well. My favorite Robert Hunter statement: Don't let the bastards steal your heart along with your hat and hand bag!

So funny how that works, isn't it? My usual solution to a programming problem is to take a shower, or else smoke some weed. But I have too much baseline anxiety to smoke weed recently. Also that can backfire, sometimes, making my thoughts too disorganized. But weed does tend to work quite well. Also microdosing is really good for it. Actually I should microdose, it's been a long time since any psychedelic has touched my receptors at all (a long time for me anyway, like 3 months probably).

I just installed a new toilet, my friend came over to help me. Everything fit fine, it doesn't seem to leak. Only problem is the water tube is like 3 inches too short, I failed to measure the height to the tank. So I have to replace that. I also fo8und out my shower is leaking down into the garage a bit. It's definitely some part of the shower. So I need to fix that. Then I need to patch a spot in my siding... gotta do all this before Friday when the appraiser is coming.

Then, after that, I need to get the same friend to come back and we're going to build a roof and some extra support posts into my deck balcony. So much work! But it's a good kind of work.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

when i was doing my math double major i would always smoke weed then do the assignments. Every time i did a calc 3 assignment while stoned i got 90% on it.

Cannabis is really amazing tool for math and programming i reckon. Thats why in 1960s computer programming classes at universities where filled with weed smoke inside they made a new rule only to smoke out side because they could not see shit anymore with how cloudy it got.

 

[Vastness]

Definitely sympathise with the reluctance to give up psychs, @Buzz Lightbeer, and whoever else said that recently, if anyone. Since deciding to try out an SSRI that was one of my main concerns, but it's perhaps easier for me since I already knew I was abusing them in a way, by which I mean, not getting much useful out of them anymore, usually combining with stims and/or dissos... also had already decided to embark on a planned 6 - 12 month phase of total sobriety to see if my life improved so thought in the absence of fun drugs I may as well.

For the record though if it's any consolation to anyone struggling to stick to their own substance-oriented resolutions, my own efforts are becoming more and more farcical. I made 60 days sober as a nun, days 60-80ish started to dabble in some noots like racetams, eventually the better ones like Semax analogues, etc, which tbh still seems fair enough sober to me. Then day 80-100 started on the odd valium, just 5-10mg to sleep now and then... then maybe phenibut sometimes in the day... then just last week I drank 4 beers in a fit of depressed, likely SSRI-induced unsettledness and since then have been stacking PPAP HCl, Flmodafinil again, and diazepam occasionally in the daytime now... does this still count as sobriety?

Arguably, definitely pushing it. Am a long way from the dangerous proximity to benzo dependence I was like 6 months ago and in my defence I think this sertraline has really been fucking up my mood for the worse the last week or so. Hopefully it levels out and I'll just quietly wean myself off the stuff I'm currently using to keep myself afloat... would be nice if a doctor could prescribe me a benzo and a stim for a short time just to assuage some of that inevitable substance (ab)user guilt from augmenting my own prescription but, unlikely enough that I probably won't even try.

At some point in the next few months I may well be unemployed, and oh my god sweet jesus I cannot wait, I know this is a weird sentence to say but anyone who paid attention to my occasional rambling dissatisfaction at my unsatisfactory partnership I've been trapped in for the past 5 years plus might remember me constantly vacillating between various degrees of stress related to this. Absolute best case outcome would be that we sell the company for a solid sum that would give me some real breathing room to decide on the next road to take in the tapestry of my life... and even in the worst case I'll be free. It could still drag on for maybe 6 months yet but... please god, finally, light at the end of the tunnel, it's gonna be over... if sobriety, however brief, gave me anything, it was clarity about what's really important in life, and the ability to take action towards that.

Anyone else having a difficult time - trust your own judgement. Things might get better and I hope they do. If you trust yourself, even if you're wrong, you'll usually be right in the end. I have no idea if that paragraph actually makes any sense so please noone pick it apart too much if it doesn't sound right to you lol, but if you can find any positive meaning in it - just ignore the rest!

 

[Img_9999]

Weed and math, or any other school assignment, never really worked for me. I feel dumber for sure while high haha, I never understood the people that were able to study while on cannabis.



Damn, guys, this weekend there was a story on the local news about a guy that got busted importing 5-MeO-DMT and Methallylescaline. I got really sketched out because the package was a really small one, 1.5 grams in total. They made a whole sensationalist piece about it, and the fuckers even showed the name of the website lol, I guess that was just a mistake from them but a really dumb one.

I'm kinda worried now, because I used to think small packages were literally impossible to identify and seize by customs. And even if they did, I would have guessed they would put no effort into tracking down the one importing it. But this news story breaks that narrative for me. The poor guy got arrested and everything. I had a package seized a couple of years ago (which contained 2C-B-FLY pelletes, I assumed they were bulky enough to be detected at customs and were the culprit. Guess not necessarily?) , and got a notice but nothing came out of it. This busting sketches me out because I know if I get a package seized again I can possibly face consequences. Scary stuff. Guess I'll stay away from ordering for a while. Fucking cops, why won't they just let us explore our minds and be high ?

 

[AutoTripper]

Weed and math, or any other school assignment, never really worked for me. I feel dumber for sure while high haha, I never understood the people that were able to study while on cannabis.



Damn, guys, this weekend there was a story on the local news about a guy that got busted importing 5-MeO-DMT and Methallylescaline. I got really sketched out because the package was a really small one, 1.5 grams in total. They made a whole sensationalist piece about it, and the fuckers even showed the name of the website lol, I guess that was just a mistake from them but a really dumb one.

I'm kinda worried now, because I used to think small packages were literally impossible to identify and seize by customs. And even if they did, I would have guessed they would put no effort into tracking down the one importing it. But this news story breaks that narrative for me. The poor guy got arrested and everything. I had a package seized a couple of years ago (which contained 2C-B-FLY pelletes, I assumed they were bulky enough to be detected at customs and were the culprit. Guess not necessarily?) , and got a notice but nothing came out of it. This busting sketches me out because I know if I get a package seized again I can possibly face consequences. Scary stuff. Guess I'll stay away from ordering for a while. Fucking cops, why won't they just let us explore our minds and by high ?

I was a smart cookie myself. Upon re-entering the psychedellic universe, January 2019, I saw way ahead what was coming. I spaced big orders over 1 year, good stock to make absolutely sure I could go fully crazy eventually or any time lol!

All orders were a total success, to UK. Then the best gang of all, Dutch, serving me phenomenally well, an awesome range and array of top quality goodies, all the lysegamides available, tryptamines like 4-aco, the god molecule 5 meo good good prices and service, 3 MEO PCP other dissos, loads benzos, Stims etc.

After last January, before even actual Brexit finally, Border Force took authority, free movement of goods within the EU was no more, I had two orders seized.

1st was 100 micropellets of 1cP. Clearly labelled at 150 ug each.

The company voluntarily reshipped me 50 tabs. Labelled 1cP-LSD 100 ug each.

Professional Border Force said I tried to import 50 GRAMS of 1PLSD!

Wrong compound, and WRONG amount.

They called my 50 trips, Half a Million Trips, apparently without any clue.

There was no legal threat. Just an invitation to contest it in court, paying legal costs if I lost, or accept forfeiture of the goods.

I think they called it goods as well, on reflection now I see- they got ONE thing right haha!

 

[Deleted member 521610]

This work load is alot. I might acutally have to restort to taking some ritalin to keep up with it. I only have 6 pills though and i need to use them very wisely.

 

[Img_9999]

Professional Border Force said I tried to import 50 GRAMS of 1PLSD!

Law enforcement are fucking idiots everywhere. In the report of the bust I mentioned on my last post they said they found "concerning amounts [of methallylescaline]". But it was only 0.5 grams lmao. And then there was a cop saying that the stuff was active in sub milligram amounts.

 

[Deleted member 521610]

Crazy how paths can cross with people in life. Just as i was about to relapse into stimulants my friend i made around the uni hits me up and now we made a study group we both study different things and now i have a gym partner. Truly the most kind hearted real person i met in this city so far. I have alot of respect him for been a gang member yet also been so positive and promoting a massive transformation towards a brighter future for all.

I truly believe in some things are meant to happen. Not many people i have met that i can just straight be open and tell them i was also a addict without been judged.

I always connect with true people that lived it hard and have life experince over some fake as people who got fed with a silver spoon.

 

[Vastness]

I was a smart cookie myself. Upon re-entering the psychedellic universe, January 2019, I saw way ahead what was coming. I spaced big orders over 1 year, good stock to make absolutely sure I could go fully crazy eventually or any time lol!

All orders were a total success, to UK. Then the best gang of all, Dutch, serving me phenomenally well, an awesome range and array of top quality goodies, all the lysegamides available, tryptamines like 4-aco, the god molecule 5 meo good good prices and service, 3 MEO PCP other dissos, loads benzos, Stims etc.

After last January, before even actual Brexit finally, Border Force took authority, free movement of goods within the EU was no more, I had two orders seized.

1st was 100 micropellets of 1cP. Clearly labelled at 150 ug each.

The company voluntarily reshipped me 50 tabs. Labelled 1cP-LSD 100 ug each.

Professional Border Force said I tried to import 50 GRAMS of 1PLSD!

Wrong compound, and WRONG amount.

They called my 50 trips, Half a Million Trips, apparently without any clue.

There was no legal threat. Just an invitation to contest it in court, paying legal costs if I lost, or accept forfeiture of the goods.

I think they called it goods as well, on reflection now I see- they got ONE thing right haha!

Kinda surprised you had trouble, not advocating or advising any law breaking myself of course but from what I hear on the grapevine of certain experiences, customs control is fairly lax unless you're trying to import kilos of the stuff. I'm guessing the issue was really that the exporting company was too honest with their labelling, of compounds which were, presumably, legal in the country of origin, and it started getting flagged by the ridiculous Novel Psychoactive Substances act of the UK which maybe came in roundabout then... if they had just labelled it as "supplements" for customs or something vague seems highly unlikely there would have been a problem unless maybe they were already being watched and on some kind of red list for extra inspections.

Courier used matters too, IME, oops I mean IMO, some carriers have their own internal customs processing agreements which have moderately different procedures that can sometimes be exploited with a little testing of perhaps, more borderline items. If the exporter is justifiably but unhelpful honest and unwilling to accommodate requests for a certain discretion, there are also reship services which as far as I can tell must operate in a kind of grey area as many of them offer rewritten customs documentation as a service, which is surely some kind of shady. I've never been brave enough or had the need to truly test the limits of the vulnerabilities in international import control systems with anything explicitly and obviously illegal all that said, but they surely are there for those willing to put in the effort.

Hoping this post isn't a little bit too much information on potentially dodgy practices, maybe I should know better and if so someone please give me a heads up and I'll delete with my apologies. But I'm hoping there's enough conceptual distance here from any actual advocacy or instruction for crime, and that it's of some interest in a neutral sense at least.

 

[Vastness]

Damn... bad luck then I guess. I know things do obviously get seized sometimes but I was sure they needed some kind of reason to just wantonly open other people's mail. I'm inclined to think that it must be the sender's address was already flagged or, perhaps, the courier used wasn't ideal. UK border force aren't gonna just randomly grab a couple of small packages from a corporate-owned cargo plane, surely. Granted, I don't know the exact inner workings of importation, although I wish I did.

 

[Pfafffed]

@Xorkoth I’m not sure how low your low dose of Kratom is but I generally use 2.7g (I have a scoop that always weighs out .9g, I take 3 of those) once a day every other day, sometime I’ll take 2 doses in a day if I need an extra boost of energy. I find this routine really easy to maintain without having any withdrawal symptoms and still getting to enjoy the effects of Kratom.
I really like the effects of low dose Kratom. It just feels like a super caffeine to me. When I keep it at this low dose I don’t feel WDs on my days off. Sometimes on days I don’t take any I’ll have a shitty day or feel low energy, maybe it’s because of the Kratom, but on other days that I don’t take any I feel completely fine or even better than if I had taken some, so who knows, I just write them off as shitty days. Working out on off days helps, an endorphin high is very similar to a low dose of Kratom.
I know you’ve struggled with Kratom addiction and its a very uncomfortable thing to go through. I’ve skirted the edge of it many times. But I do believe it’s possible to use it respsonsibly with very little negative effects. The key is not using it every day and keeping doses low. The Kratom high doesn’t get that much better the more you take but the withdrawals certainly get worse. When I realized that 3g feels about as good as 2-3x that much I decided to stick to that dose. I’ve been maintaining this for around 2 months now and the days off are really not that bad. My intention is to lower my dose and see how low I can take it and still feel good effects from it.
I really like Kratom, I feel like I function better on it. I prefer it to stimulants when I need to focus on a task and get it done. Stims make me feel like I’m on a drug, I can’t eat or sleep. Kratom is pretty transparent. I’ve noticed no negative effects on sleep, appetite or libido from taking it this way.
I’m not trying to convince you to stay on Kratom. I just thought I’d share what’s been working for me.
I believe in better living through chemistry and feel like we can make drugs work for us without being enslaved to them. It just takes a little fine tuning and will power.
This post was brought to you by me, high on Kratom, YMMV.

I hear you, but one thing that I've found over the years is that it's easy to assume that my personal, lived, internal experience is generalizable to other people's personal experiences. I've learned to respect that just because I can use a drug responsibly, there's no reason to assume that other people can do the same. Hell, that's how all addictions start, don't they?

If someone identifies that upon careful reflection they can't have any relationship with something without it eventually becoming toxic, I have to respect that even if it isn't true for me.

Off topic, but I can't allow myself access to Facebook. At all. I will use it with a shocking degree of compulsivity, like sometimes 18hrs a day. The strange thing is, I have no issues at all with other social media. I have friends that have recognized their unhealthy relationship with Instagram, but couldn't care about Facebook. It's funny what gets its hooks in us.

I also really, really liked kratom for the same reasons that you do. Unlike you, the miraculous benefits that I got from it faded with time even though I never used it at high doses at all or continuously for any significant period of time. I think my heaviest use may have been a total of 4g in three days while trying to bang out a bunch of job applications. It's easily the best performance and life enhancing drug that I've ever come across, which is why I was so protective of it, and it still stopped being beneficial eventually. I would love nothing more than to find a way to reset my brain's adaptation to it.

 

[Xorkoth]

Yeah I (obviously) love kratom's effects, too. Actually my early kratom experiences (the first 2 years, way back when) are easily in my top drug experiences of any kind. My early highs with it - preparing it in the traditional method with crushed leaf and 2 x 20 minute low simmering extractions, discarding the leaf material - would come on like cocaine (actual, good cocaine, not jittery stimmy bullshit cut cocaine) and settle into a heavy oxycodone-like high. Especially with cannabis, so euphoric, and very druggy. In fact I used to vastly prefer it to hydrocodone and oxycodone. Somewhere along the line that changed. Now because of years of morphine/poppy tea abuse, kratom is quite weak for me, but it still substitutes for opiates and I still like it. I also noticed an immediate change ion the quality of kratom's effects once it caught on in America and all you could find was micronized powder. When I used to get crushed leaf back when there were like 2 sources and only a few Erowid reports, the effects were substantially better and I don't think it was just because my receptors were virgin, because once I had to switch to micronized powder because it was all I could find, I remember at that batch thinking "man, this really isn't as good".

Anyway the only reason I am not dosing it multiple times a day now is because of my time lock safe. I simply cannot stick to a certain dosage rate with opiates, including kratom. I've never once managed it. I always increase dosage, or with a lot of discipline I can reduce dosage but I guarantee if I don't stop at the end of this long taper, a time will come, soon, when I am dosing daily again.

I wish I could do it, because when I dose a small dose without being dependent, I do get very nice life-enhancing effects from it, it abolishes anxiety, increases motivation, basically a stimulant, anxiolytic, and antidepressant, all in one.

Weed and math, or any other school assignment, never really worked for me. I feel dumber for sure while high haha, I never understood the people that were able to study while on cannabis.

Oh man, I was a massive pothead in senior year of high school and all of college (and a few years beyond), 24/7/365 (first thing in the morning, last at night, all through the day). I had a 3.95 GPA in college, I smoked before EVERY class. At that point it ws just state dependent learning. At the time I felt it made me smarter, now I don't think that was true, it's just that I was able to learn through the high. Actually I think it probably made me better at using my brain because I had to learn to operate despite being inebriated. Same deal with psychedelics, for a few years at the beginning of my job after college, I tripped at work a lot and had to learn how to behave normally with my co-workers, and do my work, while tripping.

 

[Bella Figura]

I LOVED Kratom’s effects. With edible cannabis, one of my favourite recreational herbal highs.

But very allergic to it. It causes my illeocecal valve, lower left colon, like a tap stopper, to shut tight and nothing will pass through.

If I keep taking Kratom it just cements and fortifies it.

It would kill me to take it for over a month via malnourishment and constipation.

What makes you think it's an allergic reaction rather than just standard constipation everyone gets with opiates?

Pretty sure I've gone up to a week or two without taking a dump before. OH THE DISCOMFORT.