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My little contribution to the internet... (Opiates)

neversickanymore said:
aliencowstorm.. so good to see you sir and even better to hear that you are doing good. miss you around the boards though, hopefully you can come back comfortably and help others with thier struggles I know it helps me allot..

again damn good to see you ACS!! :)

EDIT: Here is that thread.. its a good one so you may want to check it out sossick and you may want to throw in an update alien >Day three, this sucks<
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Thank you, neversickanymore. I really does feel great to be able to come back and see how people are doing. I'm going to take things slow on the forums, but that's just another part of me that's changed (learning patience). I learned that I can handle things in small doses and that serenity will always avail itself to me when I do what's in front of me and no more.

Love this group and really miss seeing stories like SSotPs. It's a reminder of what was and an inspiration to keep taking things one day at a time.
 
neversickanymore said:
such a long way from day three.. =D=D=D

So sick maybe given aliens success you may want to follow his lead?
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Day three feels like a lifetime ago. living the KISS life right now (Keep It Simple, Stooopid).

Recovery makes me appreciate life and everything I have so much more. Missed you neversickanymore and the rest of the gang.
 
aliencowstorm said:
My sobriety date is May 7, 2013. BL was the place where I chronicled my sobriety and without this place I'm not sure I would have made it. I tell myself, this is my karma (what will be will be, no matter what), but by putting one foot in front of the other and following a path that's been set out I've made it a little over 90 days now.
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ACS- First of all, congrats man! 90 days is awesome. Having someone to lean and support sure does make it easier eh? I couldn't do it without her, and when I would get to thinking about how a handful of pills would make me feel better..or get me to sleep..then all I would do is think of her and the kids. Sure helped me... I read through you post that got linked above, it's neat to see your early frame of mind, and those early struggles. Now 90 days!

inflorescence said:
How's it going now? Having some problems with the old PM but was wondering how you are feeling. <3
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I'm feeling pretty good. Day 14. Got some sleep last night and only woke up once, but was able to fall right back asleep. Last night I had taken 1/2 of a Melatonin. From here on out I won't even take that. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll be falling asleep and staying asleep naturally. How are things with you?
 
Day 15

Hit the wall pretty good today, I feel like shit. Maybe I'm getting sick, more than likely here come the PAWS.

I'm good though, no desire to use. Man I want this time to stick SO BAD!
 
Day 16. Eventually fell asleep last night, made me feel a lot better today after I got that 6 hours or so.

Crazy to see my bank balance holding steady over the last few weeks. Mind numbing to think of the money spent on this addiction...
 
Hey you,
Yes things aren't too shabby this end. Really glad to hear you are doing so brilliantly <3My sleep pattern as always is terrible and it's getting me down. Was thinking of starting on the melatonin again myself. I have no energy when awake and have so much trouble getting to sleep. Any how someone mentioned a suplement called Gaba which looks very interesting. I have opted for a vit suplement that has that and some other hopefully helpful ingredients. I have also bought the nightime version which I wont mention a brand name of but it's ingredients include
'melatonin, L-Theanine, and Inositol that help provide you with deep, restful sleep. It also contains a blend of mood enhancement compounds, including 5-Hydroxytryptophan (5HTP) (this excites your brain with Serotonin),Vitamin B6, GABA ( this is a neurotransmitter), and antioxidants (Resveratrol, Grape Seed Extract, and Red Wine Extract).'

Gotta be worth a whirl for me. I really don't think if you feel need them some suplements would be such a bad thing for you unless you have an amazing diet?

Keep me posted and PM me now and again. You are doing so well. You should be so proud of yourself :)
 
Day 19. Going through some mild PAWS, I knew they were coming though and was ready for em. I took an entire month off work so I don't have to go back until the beginning of September, I'm hoping my energy levels go up by then. My biggest thing right now is learning to live a routine not centered around pills. I spent the early morning running some errands with my son and it felt great to be out and not constantly thinking about when I could take another 30 and not having to worry about having some with me or stashed in the car.


inflorescence said:
Was thinking of starting on the melatonin again myself. I have no energy when awake and have so much trouble getting to sleep.
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I was amazed that this helped me, however it really seems to do the trick. I've been trying to sleep without it but still having trouble, probably a couple more days and then I'll stop with the melatonin.

inflorescence said:
You are doing so well. You should be so proud of yourself :)
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I feel pretty good, and I appreciate that! I'll def be checking in from time to time.
 
Le'Mix said:
Well done dude, great job so far, keep it going !
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Thanks man, I appreciate it!

Day 21 for me. 3 weeks, hard to believe but it feels good to know I'm coming up on a month.

We were over at my in laws last night for a bday for someone in the family....We had gotten there pretty early and were having such a good time we ended up staying much later than we normally would with the kids. Towards the end of the evening I got this great feeling because I hadn't thought about pills all night, I hadn't thought about how shitty I felt all night and I didn't need to worry about sneaking off to swallow any or count what I had on me...It was glorious!
 
Day 23. Still going strong...

Nights are still a bitch... and not just with lack of sleep still very, very restless. Trying to keep a good attitude about it though
 
S0SickofThesePills said:
Day 23. Still going strong...

Nights are still a bitch... and not just with lack of sleep still very, very restless. Trying to keep a good attitude about it though
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Best way m8, sounds to me like you have this cracked. But I don't wanna jinx you so I will say good luck still. :)
 
27 Days! Can't wait for that one month!

Nothing but a daily vitaman now for the last handful of days. Still rough getting to sleep but getting better. I know what to expect at night now more than anything
 
Threw it all down the drain....back to day one....

Fuck. Kills me to even come back and read these posts. I had gotten so far and now I start over.

Well. Day 1. In mild withdrawal. So incredibly disappointed
 
Don't beat yourself up about this<3 Addiction is a hard hard hard thing to deal with. Your doing great. I hope your withdraws go quick. Please take this opportunity to look at what happened last time and make the correct changes to create a more peaceful recovery and increase your chances of success. We all "fail" until we succeed.. you can do and will do this=D
 
neversickanymore said:
Don't beat yourself up about this<3 Addiction is a hard hard hard thing to deal with. Your doing great. I hope your withdraws go quick. Please take this opportunity to look at what happened last time and make the correct changes to create a more peaceful recovery and increase your chances of success. We all "fail" until we succeed.. you can do and will do this=D
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Thanks man. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond. Every time I go through WD I of course get a little depressed and there is some crying involved :) lol

This time feels different though....the disappointment and guilt are unbearable. I don't have too many more of these in me, I want out so FUCKING bad. My wife is so let down, even though she's so damn incredible she doesn't want me to see it. I can hear her crying all the time....

I just want to scream FUCK FUCK FUCK

I don't feel as strong as I did when I kicked in August
 
Throw the guilt and shame out the window as it does no good and just drives use and makes us miserable<3

You are not a failure or looser or weak.. addiction comes from our unconscious and we dont control our unconscious, but over time we can retrain it and learn ways of dealing with its manipulations. Your doing great man.. just go give your wife a hug and thank her for all she's done and say that you are not giving up and you will continue to fight this and will never give up.. dont promise her that this is the last time as that can get us in real trouble.. just promise to do the very best you can and then let your actions do all the talking. You can and will do this. Please take some time when you can and look at this thread as I hope it will allow you to throw out allot of the guilt and shame when you are able to understand how addiction works in the brain. It sure helped me when I took the time to figure out whats going on and as soon as I did a huge weight of shame and guilt were lifted. <3

The Brain and Addiction (under construction) ;)
 
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