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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

@needhelp123

My symptoms(no specific order) depression, anxiety, strange insomina, memory impairment, cognitive deficits.

But these issues are affecting my relationships. For example, I would be video chatting with my new girlfriend I would forget what she would tell me.
 
@adumbral - there was a point around month 9.5 when everything started to clear up, like to the point that I thought I was recovered. But in general there was always a trend of slight improvement, each month I'd see the symptoms go down a little bit in severity. I'm at month 13 now and I only notice a very small amount of symptoms. I feel a general anxiety and depression that is uncharacteristic of me, also a lack of motivation and happiness, so I know there is still a little something lingering around. However for the most part I feel Ok and back to normal.

One thing that I've also noticed is that my memory is back to usual, but I'm constantly doubting it and I always seem so sure that my memory is still impaired. Yet when I play memory games or take a memory test, my memory is fucking amazing. So clearly there is no physical problem with my memory, just some kind of doubt about my memory skills which blocks me from using them properly.

The only thing I'm sure that I'm still dealing with is depression and anxiety. Everything else is just a symptom of those things. insomnia, memory impairment, cognitive deficits, all are symptoms of depression or anxiety. And its unclear which is the bottom issue, since anxiety can step from depression, and depression can stem from anxiety.

anyways bottom line is I only focus on battling two things, anxiety and depression. Everything else is just a sub-symptom of those things and not worth investigating. Better to just focus on the one/two issues that everything else stems from.
 
If you were talking to me needhelp123 then yes I've had every symptom plus one or two unique ones too. I had visual blurriness but not HPPD. Migraines and headaches, head pressure, etc. They were very common in the first 3 months but became infrequent through months 3-9. Around 9 months they dropped down to the regular level that everybody gets them, one every few days, sometimes once every day if I get stressed a lot.

One unique symtom I had was intense itching without any kind of rash or bumps. It went away after about 6 weeks. It was basically like the meth itch or coke itch, cept I didnt do meth for years and only did coke a total of 3 times. probably did a total of less than a quarter gram.

Some symptoms are just strange like the itching one. Couldn't really explain that one but skin problems run in my family so who the fuck knows what happened. It's one of those things I just choose to forget about, rather than tug on it like it was a ball of yarn (because you know how that story goes, you just keep tugging and tugging and never getting to the end of the anxiety ball).
 
Makes sense thanks! I’m at around month 9 with no sign of it slowing down. Fingers crossed that my story is like yours.
 
Needhelp123 said:
Makes sense thanks! I?m at around month 9 with no sign of it slowing down. Fingers crossed that my story is like yours.
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thats because it doesnt have signs of slowing down, it kind of all stops at once. Its not an overnight thing but over the course of 4-5 days you'll just randomly feel better.

my major recovery was around month 9.5 so just hang in there. You're due for an upgrade anytime now dude. Once you have a major recovery you might not have any lingering effects at all. Some people do have lingering effects that stick around up to the 2 year mark. very few people have issues for longer than 2 years if they are dealing with the issue.
 
Has anyone got experience with Ketamine? Whether it can induce or worsen LTC-like symptoms, anxiety, or it's moreless safe drug regarding this?
 
For anyone looking for a small shine of light..

Every symptom is almost 100% gone..

The symptoms that bugged me the most were my cognitive deficits, but I can honestly say with confidence that my cognition is returning to where it was. I have had huge improvements in my memory, and my ability to concentrate on things..

I am 1.5 years into my LTC, and I believe I have atleast 3 more months to go before I am completely healed.
 
db1995 said:
For anyone looking for a small shine of light..

Every symptom is almost 100% gone..

The symptoms that bugged me the most were my cognitive deficits, but I can honestly say with confidence that my cognition is returning to where it was. I have had huge improvements in my memory, and my ability to concentrate on things..

I am 1.5 years into my LTC, and I believe I have atleast 3 more months to go before I am completely healed.
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Thats good to hear man. If you dont mind me asking, what was your recovery like? Like did you do yoga, eat healthy, exercise, quit drugs at the very beginning or later into treatment.

I didn't do many healthy behaviors consistently until like the month 9-10 zone. Now Im at month 13 and still havent gotten into a 100% healthy disciplined lifestyle (i still need scheduled exercises and meditation and a stricter diet, but everything else is pretty disciplined).
 
ixkx said:
Has anyone got experience with Ketamine? Whether it can induce or worsen LTC-like symptoms, anxiety, or it's moreless safe drug regarding this?
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That would be me, I've read about ketamine's antidepressant effects and decided to try it. Which reminds me... I had depression, lol now it's gone, so +1 step on the recovery. The experience itself is horrible, I don't know why people take it recreationally. Makes you drunk-like, but in very weird way, your vision is like with after effect, similar if you play a game with lag. Went to bed and slept... never tried it again.

However the aftereffects are it's indeed making you feel more dull to the negative aspects in your life, I wouldn't recommend it tho. Only if you've tried everything else.
 
zeroluck + ixkx - ketamine's antidepressant effects come from injection of the liquid form of ketamine. Snorting it doesn't have anti-depressant effects.

I did ketamine (snorted) a few times during the LTC. I had a good time and felt good for a few days after but I attirbute that to getting far out on a psychedelic and feeling a lot more comfortable back in my body, not really to the drug itself.

I'm also a big fan of ketamine so I handle the experience well. The first 5-10 times I did ketamine it was a difficult experience because it's just so weird that I didn't know how to handle the experience. By the time I did it on the LTC i was very skilled at it though so everything went well.

My recommendation is don't try snorting powdered ket unless you are very experienced with the head space it puts you into. If you can get liquid ket and inject it into your veins directly then you might consider it for the antidepressant effects. Also I heard it hits you like instantly when IV so make sure you have someone else there to help you. Preferably dont do it IV at all though. Ketamine done IV is best done in a hospital situation.
 
BTW guys I've been reading a bit about substance induced anxiety disorder and it seems to fit the LTC symptoms.

I've heard of quite a few people getting SIAD after just one use of mdma, but people also get it after one use of weed, meth, alcohol. It's a rare condition but it's out there.

LTC = long term anxiety disorder induced by drugs.

people could probably get it from any kind of bad trip, maybe even a lsd bad trip. people have reported getting panic attacks and then developing panic disorder or agoraphobia from lsd trips. Probably because they didnt use proper set and setting, but still its out there.

Just trying to say the LTC isnt as rare or unknown as we might think it is. It's rare but people have this condition and usually dont know what to call it, or they just dont call it anything/just say its regular anxiety.
 
My MDMA experience wasn't bad tho, it was incredible. Had zero anxiety or worries, any negative emotions actually.

The nightmare started on day 2 after taking it. My memory was so bad that I was confused what's going on most of the time.

After awhile the dpdr came...

I'm so happy for db1995 tho, having his cognition back is amazing.
 
Not everybody gets the panic attacks or anxiety during their trip or afterwards. Some people get it 3-5 days afterwards.

the dp/dr is supposedly tied to panic attacks. And the anxiety is tied to the panic attacks.
 
I never had a panic attack in my life, the weird thing is my anxiety started around week 2 or 3 because of the fear I've damaged myself permanently...

Last two days I feel anxious again, but will take 1mg Xanax once and see how long it will last, I know the half-life of the medicine, but I think the purely psychological effects last longer.
 
Hi guys,

first of all sorry for my english as its not my first language. so here is my story...

Summer 2017 I went to a festival and did probably 6 pills over 3 days. I remember last day was very hard. The pill wasnt working any more and I was walking so slowly like my whole body was just so drained. Day after I felt ok but it all started the following night. I had the worst nightmares like people were raping me and shit like that and it was so real! when I woke up I felt so wierd. I had two brain zaps. My vision was blurry. When I looked into mirror I could not recognize myself. I felt like I was hight and could not concentrate on anything. I thought it will disappear after few days but after a week nothing really change and I started to be very anxious. I had several panic attacks and I had to go to work after my two weeks of holiday. I remember my first day at work. I just started to cry and had to go home and took another week of holiday. First moth was really hard but I knew I have to work and its just temporary so I learned how to live with it. Now its been year and half and I got promoted at work. Live normal life. BUT....... its still not me! I have only one side effect and that is the blurry vision. Its like my brain dont catch up with my eyes. The picture I see its not clear and its even worse if Im tired and Im tired very often. Its very tiring especialy if I have to focus on something. Most of the days Im ok with it but some days I just think will this ever stop? Will my vision return back ever? I want to be me again! Its like looking trough dirty window. I read some people have the same problem but I never found anyone who got rid of it. I wish you all good luck with your LTC and I know if we all could turned back the time we would!
 
Hi all, just dropping in. I first came on here exactly three years ago after suffering some bad anxiety/panic after an MDMA binge on NYE 2015 going into 2016. I just felt a sense of duty to come back and offer some reassurance to those suffering now.

I'm now three years on, and I'm functioning absolutely fine. For me, the symptoms in the beginning were the usual: panic attacks, persisting anxiety, closed eye visuals, derealisation/depersonalisation, insomnia, pretty much every anxiety symptom you could think of. Now, there is nothing left.

The best advice I can give any of you is this: time heals all wounds

You have to give yourself time. Of course, other things help along the way, namely stopping all drug use (I still drank alcohol fairly regularly, I'm not sure if this may have prolonged my recovery), exercise, mindfulness, anything like that. But crucially, you have to give yourself time, accept your situation, and keep going.
 
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