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MDMA Recovery (Stories & Support - 7) [ALL LTC posts go here]

The source is obviously the same for both the anxiety and the cognitiveb issues. If you treat one, there's a good chance to benefit the second as well.

However, I'm questioning myself if we're masking the problem or treating it. Just like an anology like the insulin for a diabetic.

Yes, I can live healthy, including being positive and .etc... Yes this will increase the current baseline, but 2-3 years down the road if I decide to stop will I crash?
 
I could tell you soon,but you know sometimes have to medication the problem ,if you wanna fix it. Just make the right solution.If there is biochemical disbanding if your brain its not possible to fix it only with motivation words.
I would say its just my opinion!
 
Jesus Christ zero, you really need to learn how to resist the anxiety. Your actions can empower it or they can drain it of its power.

if you want the concern to stop, all the excess thinking and theorizing about the LTC, then you need to let all the LTC thoughts go away.

honestly I think we've all looked and tried to understand the LTC. Even the people who specialized in brain chemistry in college failed. Fucking nuerosurgeons have failed. Why in the unholy fuck are you still putting your thoughts and energy into this? Do you honestly think you're going to come up with the solution when such giants of intellect have failed?


All I'm saying is I see a negative pattern of behavior that is reinforcing the anxiety and allowing it to come back. You are stuck in a feedback loop of "Anxiety > research to relieve anxiety > disbelief of evidence> anxiety > research to relieve anxiety> disbelief of evidence"

and maybe somewhere along the line you break the chain every now and again, but consistently I see you stuck in this same cycle.

the other thing im trying to say is you dont have to understand the LTC at all! you have it! and it takes time to heal! so stop looking at the god damn clock, stop thinking about when it will end, worrying if it will end, worrying worrying worrying. You should know the value of good health practices by now, and that they are important to everybody not just LTC sufferers, so stick with the good health practices and stop thinking about when this will all end.

do your absolute best to push all LTC ideas out of your head. Don't think about the LTC at all! zero! resist all LTC thoughts.
 
I had the same believes year ago, been the biggest advocate for "rewire your brain with positive thinking". But after succeeding and eliminating my toxic thoughts and killing the worrying, my cognitive lacking is still present, so... yeah that's that.
 
I had the same believes year ago, been the biggest advocate for "rewire your brain with positive thinking". But after succeeding and eliminating my toxic thoughts and killing the worrying, my cognitive lacking is still present, so... yeah that's that.

I don't believe in fake optimism. Most days I'm in a neutral zone and I think that is OK considering I'm only 14 months into recovery. I still deal with lingering anxiety and paranoia but it's very manageable.

I think just learning how to deal with thoughts in a regular way is much more beneficial than positive thinking. When I have an anxious thought or paranoia I just step back and go like "wow, wtf, again?! god damn, get the fuck out of here" then I find something that will keep me immersed and away from the thought. And yeah when I get one of those paranoia "what if" thought chains it will usually stick around for a few days but if I continue to persistently identify them as "paranoid and irrational" then eventually they go away. Key is to just carry on as usual. Identify them as not-useful and don't believe them, just carry on as usual.

Also I've noticed that my cognitive skills aren't really lacking but I still have this belief that they are. I've taken multiple memory tests and play memory games regularly, also taken a few intelligence tests. And yeah man my cognition is all there, memory is all there. but I still have this belief that I'm missing something. I feel like something is missing, but when I look at the nuts and bolts, everything is working just fine.

Sometimes if I'm busy thinking about something or otherwise caught up in my mind, my memory skills are sub-par but that's just how memory works. If I can't focus and concentrate on the task at hand, my memory is going to suffer because my attention is split. part of it is focused on the thoughts, the other part is on the task at hand. When I am able to focus on the task at hand (usually easier in the morning when I'm full of fresh energy) my memory and cognition is excellent. Later in the day its lack luster but thats also normal.
 
It seems you're just not having the issues I do, and it's understandable that you can think they way you do right now. But if you were in my shoes and have days where you're confused 90% of the time, you have no idea what time it is, when you woke up, what's going on and what your day plans were then maybe you'll get my viewpoint.

EDIT!
Alright... it turns out weird. After lionheart mentioned the memory tests, I've decided to take one random online.

https://gyazo.com/52992b8d6f0ba178673db68f72481b55

Turns out I'm better than 70-80% of the people out there... I'm confused. They don't seem as the type of "share-wh*res" websites where they give you fake results so you make their page more popular. If I'm not afraid I may take an IQ test as well, before I had just enough to qualify for Mensa, but feel like not prepared yet.

EDIT 2: Seems they've formed their sentence incorrectly. top xx percentile means, you're better than the rest, so actually my memory is horrible... great! No jokes, I've almost teared up, kinda wanna die right now.

That's the test if somebody cares.
https://www.humanbenchmark.com/
 
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^
Zeroluck I where youre coming from. I started a new job working at night and it just reaked havoc on my already bad insomina. I only got about 15 hours of sleep this week :/. I am not stressed or anxious when I try to get to sleep either.

I am honestly trying to learn this new complicated position but I just not meeting the mark. I am not retaining any of the information that they teaching me. The seriously have to go over the same tasks 3 to 4 times just for me to fail at performing it on my own.

I am seriously thing about doing some of these nootropics to heal some of this brain damage.
 
People with GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) could have the same issues with memory, but doesn't explain why when you retain low anxiety the cognitive performance doesn't change according to this.
 
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number memory - 10 digits, 70%
reaction time - 350, 24%
verbal memory - 44 points, 72%
visual memory - 8662, 38%

all done at 9 pm. Might have gotten higher if I took them 1 hour after waking up with some coffee in my system.

Seems to prove that I'm just another regular joe though. All my systems seem to be average. Some above, some below, thats normal though.

also I only took the tests once and had zero test anxiety. if I took them multiple times I might get a better average.
 
yeah i got a 41% when I re-took the visual memory one. Seems like even if I retake them multiple times I only get a little bit of variance like plus or minus up to 10 points. plus 10 if I focus, minus ten if I get distracted.
 
I got 78 and 88 on th visual memory. I’ve also had professional testing and scored well, still feel like complete shit tho
 
Hey everyone. Thought I'd post a link to the following thread here as it may be of interest to those of you who are suffering from complications brought about by MDMA (ab)use: https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/88jqg2/nacetyl_cysteine_nac_and_its_probable_mdma_loss/

This other thread also contains some interesting comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/8yl2fp/nacetyl_cysteine_nac_and_its_probable_mdma_loss/

An interesting quote from the former link:

NAC reversed LPS, MA and LPS + MA-induced anxiety-like social withdrawal behaviours, as well as MA and LPS + MA-induced deficits in recognition memory. PPI deficits were evident in MA, LPS and LPS + MA models, with NAC reversing that following LPS + MA. NAC reversed LPS, MA and LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical dopamine (DA) and noradrenaline (NA) elevations, LPS and LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical 3,4-dihydroxyphenylacetic acid (DOPAC), serotonin (5-HT) and striatal NA deficits as well as LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical 5-HT turnover. Decreased IL-10 in the LPS, MA and LPS + MA animals, and increased TNF-α in the LPS and MA animals, was reversed with NAC. NAC also reversed elevated lipid peroxidation and ROS in the LPS and LPS + MA animals.

HTH
 
Thanks for the information psyloq, would this work after years of the take those?
 
I honestly don't know but it seems to potentially be the case, yes. Best advice I can give you is to jump in on the action on one of the other threads over at Reddit and ask around.
 
Hey everyone. Thought I'd post a link to the following thread here as it may be of interest to those of you who are suffering from complications brought about by MDMA (ab)use: https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/88jqg2/nacetyl_cysteine_nac_and_its_probable_mdma_loss/

This other thread also contains some interesting comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/MDMA/comments/8yl2fp/nacetyl_cysteine_nac_and_its_probable_mdma_loss/

An interesting quote from the former link:

NAC reversed LPS, MA and LPS + MA-induced anxiety-like social withdrawal behaviours, as well as MA and LPS + MA-induced deficits in recognition memory. PPI deficits were evident in MA, LPS and LPS + MA models, with NAC reversing that following LPS + MA. NAC reversed LPS, MA and LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical dopamine (DA) and noradrenaline (NA) elevations, LPS and LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical 3,4-dihydroxyphenylacetic acid (DOPAC), serotonin (5-HT) and striatal NA deficits as well as LPS + MA-induced frontal cortical 5-HT turnover. Decreased IL-10 in the LPS, MA and LPS + MA animals, and increased TNF-α in the LPS and MA animals, was reversed with NAC. NAC also reversed elevated lipid peroxidation and ROS in the LPS and LPS + MA animals.

HTH

Thanks for this. I have ordered some from MyProtein in the U.K. didn?t realise it was so readily available. Will report back my findings in due course.

A quick update - I seem to have experienced what lion did.... one day I woke up feeling better. Not 100% and I have lingering anxiety and insomnia. But i am able to manage my symptoms without too much trouble.
 
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