I see Dumb people.
- Thread starter MazDan
- Start date
MazDan
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2003
- Messages
- 16,745
I went to supercheap yesterday to check out there 12V air compressors.
I need to get a really big one for the truck because it takes a long time to pump up the big tyres I have. And each time I go away driving the rough stuff, the tyres get let down and need to be re aired.
So Im checking them out and this young guy comes up and offers to help.
I asked if these were the biggest Car compressors they had. He said yes that they were.
I said that I was sure i had seen bigger ones there and he said Oh yes we do have bigger ones.
Now Im feeling a little confused, but knowing they also sell big 240V compressors I assumed that he may be thinking of them so I carefully said.......... Yes but are they 12V compressors? In other words do they run off a car battery?
Yes.
oh Beauty i thought. Then take me to them.
We come around a corner and here is a heap of huge 240V compressors and he stands there proudly displaying them to me.
Mate they arent 12V compressors...........they are 240V.
No they arent mate......they are 12V. I know because we have used them here and I plugged them in.
Oh really?? I reached down and grabbed the lead with the 240V plug and showed him...........but it has a 240V plug.
Then a thought occurred to me.............Oh have you been running them via an inverter?
(An inverter is an electrical device that changes 12V DC such as you find in your car into 240V AC and hence you can run small electrical tems depending on how powerful the inverter is. Supercheap sell inverters and hence its fair to expect that he would know what I was talking about)
Oh No he said..........we just plug them in.
Mate..........is this where yiou plug them in, and I showed him a 240V powerpoint............yes thats it he said very much relieved that i had suddenly lost my thickness and understood him.
Yeah seriously, I could tell he thought I was as thick as a brick.
Mate...........thats a 240V outlet. 12V is what you get in a car..........I cant run this off a car unless I use a very very big inverter.
Oh is that 240V? Then total redness overtook his face.
I was speechless.
I need to get a really big one for the truck because it takes a long time to pump up the big tyres I have. And each time I go away driving the rough stuff, the tyres get let down and need to be re aired.
So Im checking them out and this young guy comes up and offers to help.
I asked if these were the biggest Car compressors they had. He said yes that they were.
I said that I was sure i had seen bigger ones there and he said Oh yes we do have bigger ones.
Now Im feeling a little confused, but knowing they also sell big 240V compressors I assumed that he may be thinking of them so I carefully said.......... Yes but are they 12V compressors? In other words do they run off a car battery?
Yes.
oh Beauty i thought. Then take me to them.
We come around a corner and here is a heap of huge 240V compressors and he stands there proudly displaying them to me.
Mate they arent 12V compressors...........they are 240V.
No they arent mate......they are 12V. I know because we have used them here and I plugged them in.
Oh really?? I reached down and grabbed the lead with the 240V plug and showed him...........but it has a 240V plug.
Then a thought occurred to me.............Oh have you been running them via an inverter?
(An inverter is an electrical device that changes 12V DC such as you find in your car into 240V AC and hence you can run small electrical tems depending on how powerful the inverter is. Supercheap sell inverters and hence its fair to expect that he would know what I was talking about)
Oh No he said..........we just plug them in.
Mate..........is this where yiou plug them in, and I showed him a 240V powerpoint............yes thats it he said very much relieved that i had suddenly lost my thickness and understood him.
Yeah seriously, I could tell he thought I was as thick as a brick.
Mate...........thats a 240V outlet. 12V is what you get in a car..........I cant run this off a car unless I use a very very big inverter.
Oh is that 240V? Then total redness overtook his face.
I was speechless.
TheLoveBandit
Indefinite break from BL - contact other admin
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2000
- Messages
- 39,032
^^something about 'blind leading the blind' or the 'deaf yelling at the deaf' comes to mind on that one 
vanth
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Jun 19, 2006
- Messages
- 4,883
Klue said:Hmm, I dont understand that post as much as it seems I didnt understand eggmans.
Klue sleep now.
:D
eggman was joking (I think?!) when he said he didn't know what a new jersey was or how to "pump gas"... because that is all very American and we're just dumb Aussies here in Aus Social.
Klue
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2006
- Messages
- 10,476
Hmm. ^
The use of a smiley or a wink wouldnt go astray I think. Hint hint
But really, I was tired.
Dumb people- There is this really muscley guy down at the beach virtually everytime I go there who stands on the beach sunning his self. He is brown as a turd hey. He is just asking for a plethora of cancers to pop out of his skin one day. (I thought maybe he was a model or in manpower or something, either way, dumb dickhead)
:D
The use of a smiley or a wink wouldnt go astray I think.
Hint hint But really, I was tired.
Dumb people- There is this really muscley guy down at the beach virtually everytime I go there who stands on the beach sunning his self. He is brown as a turd hey. He is just asking for a plethora of cancers to pop out of his skin one day. (I thought maybe he was a model or in manpower or something, either way, dumb dickhead)
:D
ClubbinGuido
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2004
- Messages
- 22,219
One time I had to talk to an Aussie.
ClubbinGuido
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2004
- Messages
- 22,219
eggman88888 said:
I understand completely.
arizona83
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2005
- Messages
- 453
I once went to my local bakery one morning hungover looking for a greasy feed to put some lining back on the stomach. I saw a chicken fillet burger sitting in the bay-marie and I asked the girl "How fresh is that burger?".
She stupidly replies "It was made today", to which I quickly said "Well obviously!".
The poor girl didnt know what to say so I took pity on her and bought the burger.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
She stupidly replies "It was made today", to which I quickly said "Well obviously!".
The poor girl didnt know what to say so I took pity on her and bought the burger.
lostpunk5545
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2003
- Messages
- 10,324
Did you get cancer?
lostpunk5545
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2003
- Messages
- 10,324
Cancer? Cancer?! I dream of cancer -
Cancer can eat my bones:
O, lucky I would consider myself
To be racked by cancerous moans.
A fate more evil, a life more lost
The Devil for me foresaw:
Imagine the day I woke to find
The Milats had moved next door!
II
Was I a man of the bourgeoisie?
Ha! Of course I was more than that!
I was a latte drinking, clever thinking
Documentary making pratt.
I ran my own film company,
I was an artist, I was sure.
Then I heard my neighbour say:
"I'm Alex Milat. I'm in next door."
III
My films explored the evil side
Of Mankind's unknowable self;
My kids all went to private schools,
My wife, she bloomed with health;
The critics applauded my visual style
And my dissection to the core
Of the Freudian, Jungian evil id.
Then the Milats moved next door.
IV
Ivan, of course, was doing time
But his brothers are all free men.
"There's me, there's Walter," said Alex Milat,
"And Richard - in all, there's ten.
Me and the wife moved in last week,
And when Richard's coming we're unsure.
You like films? Well, I'll bring over some… shots.
Wink. Wink. We only live next door."
V
A shadow, a pall, hung over my days
The first weeks after I found out.
The bruchutto was off, the antipasto stale
At the cafes where we'd all hang out.
"It's good for your art," said my cameraman,
"They're just the sort your films explore."
"Fuck my films," I told Toby, "you pretentious git -
My fucking films don't knock on my door."
VI
My wife was a painter, sculptor too -
Her studio was set up at home.
"I can't stay here," she'd scream at me,
"It's impossible to work alone."
Her exhibition was coming up soon -
A review in the Age for sure.
"Just stay calm," I'd scream - so loudly, too,
I bet you they could've heard next door.
VII
A couple of months after they came
I got a call from my children's school:
"Your daughter's been caught smoking pot,
And your son's started playing the fool.
The counsellor's asked them both to say
If their home is quite safe and secure."
By his tone I knew straight away
He lay the blame right at my door.
VIII
My next film was a critical flop
For the first time in my career.
"He seems to have lost his ability
To show evil up close and near."
I read that review, and gave a laugh -
Critics always think they know more.
Fucking critics should try living up close
To the people who live next door.
IX
Toby left me the very next month
To shoot a Gillian Armstrong flick.
"You know," he told me when he left,
"I always thought you a soft cock prick."
Funding dried up; grants turned down;
My wife couldn't take any more:
"I'm leaving," she said, "I'm getting out.
I can't live here with them next door."
X
But the way she said it, how she left,
I knew the Milats were her excuse:
She married a successful film artist,
Not a failure. The final proof
Came when I heard three months later
She'd moved in with some director bore
Whose film was at Cannes. She was gone -
But I couldn't blame the people next door.
XI
My children went to some alternative school
Where all the hippy children go;
After that, we sort of lost contact -
I last heard from them two years ago.
I got a job in advertising
Shooting commercials - on video, what's more.
No super 8, only mainstream crap
Designed for the people who live next door.
XII
And yesterday came my greatest shock -
Oh, Truth comes bound in Pain:
I went to next door's intercom
And asked for Alex Milat by name.
"Who?" said a voice, incredulous.
"Why, they're not living here no more.
They moved out nearly two years ago.
Hey, aren't you the weirdo who lives next door?"
XIII
No matter how easy or sweet life is,
Be sure - your life will change;
There is a shadow hangs over us
That leaves none of us the same.
There is another person waiting to come
Buried in your deepest core:
You'll be found out. Who you really are
Lives behind your very own door.
Cancer can eat my bones:
O, lucky I would consider myself
To be racked by cancerous moans.
A fate more evil, a life more lost
The Devil for me foresaw:
Imagine the day I woke to find
The Milats had moved next door!
II
Was I a man of the bourgeoisie?
Ha! Of course I was more than that!
I was a latte drinking, clever thinking
Documentary making pratt.
I ran my own film company,
I was an artist, I was sure.
Then I heard my neighbour say:
"I'm Alex Milat. I'm in next door."
III
My films explored the evil side
Of Mankind's unknowable self;
My kids all went to private schools,
My wife, she bloomed with health;
The critics applauded my visual style
And my dissection to the core
Of the Freudian, Jungian evil id.
Then the Milats moved next door.
IV
Ivan, of course, was doing time
But his brothers are all free men.
"There's me, there's Walter," said Alex Milat,
"And Richard - in all, there's ten.
Me and the wife moved in last week,
And when Richard's coming we're unsure.
You like films? Well, I'll bring over some… shots.
Wink. Wink. We only live next door."
V
A shadow, a pall, hung over my days
The first weeks after I found out.
The bruchutto was off, the antipasto stale
At the cafes where we'd all hang out.
"It's good for your art," said my cameraman,
"They're just the sort your films explore."
"Fuck my films," I told Toby, "you pretentious git -
My fucking films don't knock on my door."
VI
My wife was a painter, sculptor too -
Her studio was set up at home.
"I can't stay here," she'd scream at me,
"It's impossible to work alone."
Her exhibition was coming up soon -
A review in the Age for sure.
"Just stay calm," I'd scream - so loudly, too,
I bet you they could've heard next door.
VII
A couple of months after they came
I got a call from my children's school:
"Your daughter's been caught smoking pot,
And your son's started playing the fool.
The counsellor's asked them both to say
If their home is quite safe and secure."
By his tone I knew straight away
He lay the blame right at my door.
VIII
My next film was a critical flop
For the first time in my career.
"He seems to have lost his ability
To show evil up close and near."
I read that review, and gave a laugh -
Critics always think they know more.
Fucking critics should try living up close
To the people who live next door.
IX
Toby left me the very next month
To shoot a Gillian Armstrong flick.
"You know," he told me when he left,
"I always thought you a soft cock prick."
Funding dried up; grants turned down;
My wife couldn't take any more:
"I'm leaving," she said, "I'm getting out.
I can't live here with them next door."
X
But the way she said it, how she left,
I knew the Milats were her excuse:
She married a successful film artist,
Not a failure. The final proof
Came when I heard three months later
She'd moved in with some director bore
Whose film was at Cannes. She was gone -
But I couldn't blame the people next door.
XI
My children went to some alternative school
Where all the hippy children go;
After that, we sort of lost contact -
I last heard from them two years ago.
I got a job in advertising
Shooting commercials - on video, what's more.
No super 8, only mainstream crap
Designed for the people who live next door.
XII
And yesterday came my greatest shock -
Oh, Truth comes bound in Pain:
I went to next door's intercom
And asked for Alex Milat by name.
"Who?" said a voice, incredulous.
"Why, they're not living here no more.
They moved out nearly two years ago.
Hey, aren't you the weirdo who lives next door?"
XIII
No matter how easy or sweet life is,
Be sure - your life will change;
There is a shadow hangs over us
That leaves none of us the same.
There is another person waiting to come
Buried in your deepest core:
You'll be found out. Who you really are
Lives behind your very own door.
Strawberry_lovemuffin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2002
- Messages
- 15,527
^ is that like some sort of form of tourette's?
lostpunk5545
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 20, 2003
- Messages
- 10,324
No, that's some form of TISM...
Shakespearianesque act spouting would be a pretty cool form of Tourettes though.
ZOUNDS!
Shakespearianesque act spouting would be a pretty cool form of Tourettes though.
ZOUNDS!
da` grey area
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2005
- Messages
- 689
I eat ear people....
%)
I eat ear people....
%)