Well, well, well. It looks like my reputation has preceded me. I think Kiah has been talking. No sense telling her about it because she's rather possessive of me by now and she's really doing a bang-up job of bringing in contraband, but I spent an afternoon not-so-secretly checking out the pickins, and here's my take.
Hayley: She's in for murdering her husband. But word on the block is that he was fucking her sister. Maybe death was a little harsh, but not entirely unjustified. She seems lonely.
Aimee: This bitch has the deadeye of a serial killer, which is in fact what she is.
Michelle: A little bird told me she's only into ladies. She'd do it for the respect, but for her it would all be a game. She's in for manufacturing explosive devices for the Taliban. Wrong kind of crazy for me.
Simmone: She's a pre-op M2F it turns out, who hates men with a passion yet can't stop being attracted to them. Considering she is in here for soliciting sex and then murdering the John (three times no less), I'm gonna have to pass.
Kathy: This poor 17 year old girl was prescribed an SSRI for a bout of seasonal depression, and unfortunately it brought out homicidal tendencies in her, and this former good girl murdered her entire family. Ever since she is haunted by their screams and the only thing that quiets the voices, however briefly, is drawing blood, preferably the blood of others. The more blood the better. Add this depravity to the fact that she's underage... prison or no, Shadowmeister has moral standards.
Katy: She's actually innocent of the crimes she was convicted of, which is the cold-blooded murder of her boyfriend via throat slitting, O.J. style. And everyone knows it, too. Although I find her quite attractive, I wouldn't really be in any danger as she's a nice lady. So I'll pass. Not enough respect to be gained here.
Brenda: Is the one who actually killed Katy's boyfriend, because she was fucking him and he refused to leave Katy for her. But this bitch got away with it scot-free. However, she's so depraved that she set off a bomb in a children's hospital just so she could get put in the same prison block as Katy, for the sole purpose of tormenting her. Although she's certainly as depraved as it gets, Shadowmeister has standards, and murdering sick children for the opportunity to fuck with someone whose life you already destroyed is over the line. Not to mention, she's way too much of a loose cannon anyway. Someone this twisted could do anything, at any time.
Gorgeous Georgios: Shadowmeister is a well-known heterosexual ladykiller whose reputation with the women is stellar, thanks in no small part to Kiah's exuberant declarations of his testicular fortitude and robust meat sword. Although I'm sure Georgie is one sick, twisted fuck, his gender immediately disqualifies him from consideration.
Jo: Whoa, now THIS is a fucked up lady. She actually recently got another consecutive life sentence for stabbing a fellow lady inmate in the kidneys (both of them), causing a slow, agonizing death, right in the middle of some rough scissoring. Rumor is it was with a dildo shank. Her motivation? She just wanted to see what would happen. This bitch is legitimately crazy. During my observation I found her having an animated discussion with her vibrator about whether or not it wanted to be sheathed in flesh in an entirely different way than it was intended to be. Evidently the vibrator declined, and Jo became so enraged that she seized out, and upon returning to consciousness, she used her dildo shank to dismember the vibrator into its component parts. At which time she pissed and shit on the remains. So, again, wrong kind of crazy.
RESULTS:
I'm choosing Hayley. Not only is she dead sexy, she also probably won't kill or mutilate me. However there is a possibility. She did dismember her husband afterwards, and there's always the chance that the speculation that he deserved it is wrong, and she's just a sick fuck. Adds just enough of that element of danger, without a huge chance of it going too far.
