H.M.P. Bluelight Towers - Top Dog

Yeah I guess I figured Christmas would be the last day. Oh well. All that Xanax sent me into next year already.

ok whose hole is tightest round these parts , invegausr and I are bored
 
drop your cocks and grab your socks boys.

mal is coming in dry to show how much he cares unless you place an order tomorrow (i'll be taking photos so you can relive the magical moment for years to cum). don't let leets or your fam down. we'll get together and do some trading later over a game of cards.

@Shadowmeister: did you leave enough for the rest of us? (even though i'll pass on sloppy seconds)
 
quarter payload of paper LSD
quarter payload of Papaver somniferum
half payload of MDMA

with .8 g's left open to clear the wall and keep out of reach of dirty grubbin hands per usual

GMT 1413

images
 
14:34

:)

1 iPhone
1 "Mommy Got Boobs", "Teen Fidelity", and "NaughtyAmerica" subscriptions
5 more gs of Test.
Ounce of Crystal
Ounce of Weed
Half o Coke for the boys
10 Xanax and 5 Seroquel for the come down


Thanks again fam.
 
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The time has come to cater to those inmates who aren't willing or ready to subject their minds to the universe with psychedelics, and for those for whom all drugs are fun. It's time to make an order for Everything Else.

Depressants:

  • 2000 grams of Na-GHB <-- It'll go quick!
  • 1000 grams of methaqualone powder <-- Because my hook ups are the dankest
  • 1000 mL of 2-methyl-2-butanol <-- Because I have become known as the guy who can get you stuff you've never even heard of and I have to keep up my reputation. Also it lasts longer and is much less heavy/bulky than alcohol and is less toxic.
  • 100 grams of etizolam <-- For drug comedowns
  • 1000 grams of diazepam <-- For a more classic benzo haze
  • 1000 grams of phenibut <-- This shit's great, trust me

Stimulants:

  • 2000 grams of 95% purity cocaine <-- because duh
  • 2000 grams of 4-MMC/mephedrone <-- Because you know the other 2 kilos are already gone
  • 1000 grams of pure methamphetamine <-- Otherwise the tweakers are gonna make trouble
  • 1000 grams of ethyl-hexedrone <-- Because once the others run out we'll need something to hold us over

Opiates:

  • Sorry, get your opiates somewhere else. We here at Shadowmeister Services Ltd™ used to have a serious problem with them and do not want them around

NOTE: Make sure to use a large enough drone.
 
Prison Officers reveal:

Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!




TOP DOG

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RESULTS for
Episode #4 - Lie down with dogs, you get fleas

and
Bonus Mission #4 - Fetch! Good dog


Ready?
Well let's take a closer look at the PROSPECTIVE RECRUITS



PRISON OFFICER KIAH ANDRUSJAK
PO-KIAH-2.jpg

SHE IS IN LOVE WITH YOU, WOULD "DO ANYTHING FOR YOU SWEETIE"
POOR MAD DELUDED COW
YOU TOLD SOME CONS TO STOP TEASING HER ABOUT HER HUGE TITS
SHE FELL FOR YOU THERE AND THEN
YOU'D FEEL SORRY FOR THE STUPID BITCH
IF
SHE WASN'T MAKING YOU SO MUCH MOOLAH

SHE BRINGS:
MOBILE PHONES
SIM CARDS
CHARGERS
RACY PICTURES OF HERSELF
[THAT YOU SELL TO EVERYONE]
TERRYS' CHOCOLATE ORANGES
[ YOU MENTIONED ONCE THAT YOU LOVED THEM]
TOBACCO




PRISON OFFICER SAF BOZKURT
PO-SAF2.jpg

SHE HAS THE HOTS FOR BAD BOYS
BUT SHE ALSO HAS A BIG THING FOR CASH
CONSTANTLY STRIP SEARCHING DUDES
INSISTS ON GIVING FULL INTERNALS EVERY TIME SHE HANDS OVER CONTRABAND
"IT'S A GOOD COVER, AND IT'S GOOD FUN BABY"

SHE BRINGS:
MOBILE PHONES
CHARGERS
SIM CARDS
AN AMAZINGLY STINKY AND SERIOUSLY POWERFUL CHEESE WEED




PRISON OFFICER LAINIE MARTIN
PO-LAINIE-2.jpg

TOTALLY BATSHIT CRAZY

MORE ISSUES THAN A NEWSTAND
LOVES ROUGH DIAMOND GEEZERS
FOR HER THIS JOB IS LIKE HAVING THE KEYS TO THE SWEETSHOP
LOVES THE GOOD LIFE
LOVES BEING DOMINANT
WRESTLING

SHE BRINGS:
MOBILE PHONES
SIM CARDS
CHARGERS
BURN
ALL DOWN THE FRONT OF HER LEOPARD SKIN GYM PANTS





PRISON OFFICER JOHN WALLACE
a.k.a.
WALDO
PO-WALDO-2.jpg

JUST DOING IT FOR CASH, LOTS OF CASH
FAT GREEDY DICKHEAD
HE BRINGS:
MOBILE PHONES
A TRULY EXCELLENT AFGHANI HASHISH





PRISON OFFICER DICK STACK
PO-DICK2.jpg

BULLSEYE!
THIS MAN IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST CRIMINALS IN THE PRISON!

HE BRINGS:
MOBILE PHONES
SIM CARDS
CHARGERS
6-APB
AMERICAN DISPENSARY QUALITY WEED - ALL SORTS OF BRANDS, JUST ASK
SPICE
MAMBA
LSD
STEROIDS
PHONE MEMORY STICKS
PORN
PILLS
2C-B
MUD
SNOW
ANYTHING YOU WANT LOL
THE MAN IS A WALKING CRIME WAVE
A REAL ASSET TO YOUR TEAM



NOW LET'S SEE WHO IS


TOP DOG
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EPISODE #4

AND WHO IS DISRESPECTED PRISON BOSTON TERRIER!
 
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THIS WEEK'S WINNER:

MAL3VOLENT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP DOG!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 47
Doing Business with KIAH = 4
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
ALPRAZOLAM = 1

TOTAL RESPECT = 57

An astonishing run so far from MAL3VOLENT, he is dealing with the pressure to maintain and stay at the top like a real man and just keeps on coming up with the goods time and time again!

Introduced ALPRAZOLAM to the inmates of H.M.P. Bluelight Towers.
HOT CAKES!

His highly abusive yet financially profitable relationship with a woman with the mental age of a 15 year old but the owner of the most beautiful tits in the prison service has won him so much RESPECT. The intimate stories he tells and the saucy pictures he sells of his Prison Officer girlfriend delivering the contraband Terry's Chocolate Oranges the other lags love so much means his legend reaches far beyond the walls of H.M.P. Bluelight Towers.

Wearing the laurel leaves and the purple MAL3VOLENT is the real Caesar of this Nick!


top-dog-cell.jpg


MAL3VOLENT IN THE TOP DOG CELL



RESPECT!



MADNESS00
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 41
Doing Business with LAINIE = 4
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 2
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
TRADITIONAL DRUG DEALER = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 48

ON EVERY STREET, IN EVERY CITY THERE'S A NOBODY WHO DREAMS OF BECOMING A SOMEBODY.


Only a few know how to make that dream come true.

MADNESS00 and his crew ABDU and THE TWINS know their market and they know it well. A full range of good old fashioned DRUGS, the proper ones, allsorts for every taste. This crew is working well with MADNESS00 running tings.

The strangely abusive, yet highly profitable relationship that MADNESS00 has with LAINIE MARTIN shows how he exploits in the most disgusting fashion a weak woman suffering from a serious mental delusion.

A delusion that made her develop a parasocial attachment to a damaged heroine character in EASTENDERS - a famous soap opera; a delusion which MADNESS00 actively encourages and enables; then cruelly exploits for his own criminal gain. His callousness is truly remarkable. His willingness to wear the loudest shirts known to man to fuel the fires of this fantasy purely so he could flood the nick with gear has however, IN THE END, won him huge RESPECT from the other LAGS.

He took the mockery about the fancy shirts LAINIE made him wear, but nobody laughed when they wanted a phone, the sickest porn or some burn.

MADNESS00 is a powerful force in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers, a serious snarling shagging contender for TOP DOG


RESPECT!



BPTUBBS
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers THE MAN!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 39
Doing business with SAF = 4


TOTAL RESPECT = 43

A natural in Criminal Anthropology BPTUBBS makes this look so easy. Do not be fooled! Beneath that laissez faire attitude lies a ruthless and determined psychopath weighing up the odds and picking and choosing his battles carefully.

His business relationship with the perverted sadist SAFAK leaves one to wonder who is really abusing who? SAFAK's constant and overtly intrusive and even barbaric probing of his every bodily orifice on handing over contraband occasionally left BPTUBBS bleeding and shaking with shock. The full psychological impact of this debasement and the long term physical and mental effects for BPTUBBS combining business with pleasure like this cannot be underestimated and it can only be a matter of time before the sexual volcano that is BPTUBBS erupts!

His willingness to "take one for the team" and sort everyone out for gear has boosted the RESPECT levels BPTUBBS enjoys from his peers

BPTUBBS is playing the long game, he knows life is not a sprint and likes to consider all the angles before striking. If this means sometimes he misses good business he accepts this, as it also ensures he doesn't make spur of the moment errors. The game tactics of a TOP DOG

RESPECT!



INVEGAUSER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BLOCK BARON!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 19
Doing Business with KIAH = 4
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 5
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
DRONE MAXIMUM PAYLOAD = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 29

INVEGAUSER has made some superb SNAP decisions in his latest return to social prison life! It is when the Criminal Anthropologist overthinks matters he errs. Still running solo INVEGAUSER has set up distribution lines and "pop-up" BASH HOUSES to deal with the quantity of GEAR he is punting out.

His drone deliveries were barely able to clear the wall as the weight of every delivery exceeded manufacturers recommendations. But then everything INVEGAUSER does exceeds manufacturers recommendations.

Taking the ALPHA role in a mutually beneficial relationship with a scheming fellow criminal, INVEGAUSER demonstrated that working with him was all about trust and mutual respect. A business relationship with INVEGAUSER is of genuine benefit to all involved and the fact he was also getting his maulers on the firmest tits in the prison service was just a bonus...

INVEGAUSER has super boosted the level of RESPECT he enjoys. The racy, autographed pictures he sells of KIAH's bouncy bits ensures his legend reaches far beyond the walls of H.M.P. Bluelight Towers

The LOVE he got from his FAM meant he had the best stash of contraband EVER SEEN! Christmas was as WET/BROWN/WHITE/GREEN/SWIRLY as you wanted courtesy of INVEGAUSER It can only be a matter of time before he becomes TOP DOG


RESPECT!



SWILOW
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers BAD MAN PINUP!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 19
Doing Business with WALDO = 3
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 2
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK TROPE = 1



TOTAL RESPECT = 25

This is what we are here for!

SWILOW demonstrates yet again the truth of the old maxim "birds of a feather, stick together". Made a beeline for the inveterate criminal WALDO and struck a deal that will ensure a steady flow of contraband for his eager customers. A stroke of genius using WALDO to bring in a good steady flow of QUALITY GEAR.

SWILOW demanded a SHEEP and a tank of NO2 from his FAM. Classic use of THE IMPOSSIBLE TASK to terrify your gang members. When SWILOW actually asks for something the FAM can organise, they fall over backwards to prove their competency!

So it is that requests for 8 balls of heroin pre-warmed by being stored in an anus seem reasonable and almost benevolent while also increasing the mystique and RESPECT that SWILOW rightly enjoys.

SWILOW has not rested on his laurels and is moving up in the promotion zone. With crime on his hands the accolade of TOP DOG is well within the reach of this degenerate recidivist!


RESPECT!
 
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SHADOWMEISTER
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers TOP THUG!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 13
Doing Business with KIAH = 4
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 1
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
SCREWING SCREWS = 2
Special RESPECT bonus unlocked:
DRUG DEALING HERO = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 21

SHADOWMEISTER simulates grief in the face of tragedies, fakes open fear in perilous situations, and shams symptoms of pain after a fight. This makes him that most truly dangerous of psychopathic individuals, an evil bastard who through cunning use of his understanding of empathy knows exactly how to exploit any situation to maximize his own personal well being.

In an abusive yet strangely caring relationship with a vulnerable woman, SHADOWMEISTER regularly demonstrated to the other cons that banging KIAH in the broom cupboard wasn't just about him getting his filthy maulers on the most perky tits in the prison service; for example the Chocolate Oranges she smuggles into the prison which he then sells with a FILTHY LEER about the hiding place she uses gains him massive RESPECT.

His FAM poured a CORNUCOPIA of psychedelic drugs over the walls of H.M.P. Bluelight Towers. With no SAFE HOUSE or CREW SHADOWMEISTER was forced to use the OLD POTTING SHED to conceal his incredible cocktail of drugs. With the help of some associates on the inside an excellent customer base has been established, the cultish Ayahuasca type ceremonies SHADOWMEISTER leads in the OLD POTTING SHED are changing the personalities of the most unpleasant criminals in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers, possibly forever!

For many of the cons the ace in the hole is the daily PEEPING TOM sessions SHADOWMEISTER organises for the less spiritual inmates who watch from hideyholes while he FLEXES a tripped out KIAH. The high definition pictures of the DEPRAVED acts he performs with KIAH's bouncy tits and juicy arse he sells to all and sundry ensure his reputation reaches far beyond the walls of H.M.P. Bluelight Towers.

Fueled by thrill-drugs and wild sexual encounters he has serious potential for TOP DOG


RESPECT!



ZEPHYR
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers CAPO CRIMINE!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 10
Hobbit = -5

TOTAL RESPECT = 5

ZEPHYR Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. SENIOR PRISON OFFICER FULTON MACKAY is slightly encouraged by the inmates progress towards rehabilitation.

A small time tough in a big time world. Still one of the most feared individuals in the prison.


RESPECT!



SPEEDKING
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HARDCASE CRIMINAL!
RESPECT
points totalizer:
Convicted Armed Robber = 4
Asset Deliveries OLD POTTING SHED = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 5

Exploring the prison, SPEEDKING discovered a drone behind the OLD POTTING SHED. He was wise enough to keep his mouth shut and is using the ASSETS he stole to smooth his way through prison life.

Although a new guy, his jacket ensures SPEEDKING is RESPECTED among the prison population


RESPECT!



SPECIFIED
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HARDCASE CRIMINAL
RESPECT
points totalizer:
Convicted Armed Robber = 4
Special RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Stealing and Abusing Drone Asset Deliveries = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 5

Exploring the prison, SPECIFIED discovered a drone behind the OLD POTTING SHED. He didn't keep his mouth shut, proclaimed his visions in tones of thunder and was seen by everyone using the ASSETS he stole to TRIP LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER all through Christmas on someone else's gear.

Although a new guy, his jacket ensures SPECIFIED is RESPECTED among the prison population


RESPECT!



CAPTAIN HEROIN
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers MAIN MAN!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 8
Hobbit = -5
Special RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Fucking Odd Behaviour = 1

TOTAL RESPECT = 3

The pressure is getting to CAPTAIN HEROIN as he took to hanging out at the back of the Old Potting Shed and asking people to play games with him. Asking questions like that at remote locations with his current RESPECT levels ensures he remains one of the most feared individuals in the prison. However, should the RESPECT the other cons hold him in fall any lower, the gutter awaits convicts like him.

RESPECT!



WO1FG4NG
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers COOL GUY!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
HOBBIT = -1
Special RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Chapel Bash House Crew = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 1

WO1FG4NG Won back some RESPECT from the other inmates, by hanging out all week in the PRISON CHAPEL carrying out repetitious manual work and giving tips on bashing and drug use.

Currently lecturing new cons on how to do official and unofficial "easy time" in prison and get early parole. He is playing both sides and keeping it all together like a man. Hell bent for the hot seat!


MKAY!



ALASDAIRM
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers COOL GUY!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
HOBBIT = -1
Special RESPECT Bonus Unlocked:
Stealing and Abusing Drone Asset Deliveries = 1


TOTAL RESPECT = 1

ALASDAIRM Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. A lucky find behind THE OLD POTTING SHED ensured that ALASDAIRM and his new found chums had a wonderful Christmas. The probation officers haven't drug tested him yet and are allowing him to lecture new cons on how to do "easy time" in prison and get early parole.

Church goer.


BOO!



NEVERSICKANYMORE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers COOL GUY!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 3
Hobbit = -2


TOTAL RESPECT = 1

Probation Officers are delighted with the progress NEVERSICKANYMORE has made. Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. Lecturing new cons on how to do "easy time" in prison and get early parole.

Church goer.


BOO!



NOODLE
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers COOL GUY!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 3
Hobbit = -2


TOTAL RESPECT = 1

Probation Officers are delighted with the progress NOODLE has made. Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. Lecturing new cons on how to do "easy time" in prison and get early parole.

Church goer.


BOO!



THE LOVE BANDIT
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers COOL GUY!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 3
Hobbit = -2


TOTAL RESPECT = 1

Probation Officers are delighted with the progress THE LOVE BANDIT has made. Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop carrying out ultra-low paid, mind-numbing, and repetitious manual work. Lecturing new cons on how to do "easy time" in prison and get early parole.

Church goer.


BOO!





WELCOME TO THE GUTTER



SHADY'S FOX
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
HOBBIT = -1


TOTAL RESPECT = 0

SHADY'S FOX Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop smashing Ministry of Sound CD's with a toffee hammer. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.

WOT A MUG


BOO!




MEL22
H.M.P. Bluelight Towers HOBBIT!

RESPECT
points totalizer:
Current Total = 1
HOBBIT = -1


TOTAL RESPECT = 0

MEL22 Won no RESPECT from the other inmates, just hung out all week in the prison workshop smashing Ministry of Sound CD's with a toffee hammer. The Probation Service are "promising" to "look into" a Home Visit if the GOOD CONDUCT continues.

WOT A MUG


BOO!




MAL3VOLENT
IS
TOP DOG

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RESPECT!


IT'S ALL TO PLAY FOR!

WATCH OUT FAM FOR EPISODE #5

"Give a dog [or two] a bone"


COMING SOON!

BlueLight_Logo.png

FIGHTING THE RIGHTEOUS
&
BULLYING THE WEAK
 
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Episode Five: Give the dog[s] a bone

Welcome to H.M.P. BLUELIGHT TOWERS!


This is a:

Criminal Anthropology Simulation Master Class
Open To All Forum Members

Episode difficulty level:5
PLAYER WARNING:
EPISODE CONTAINS % RISK OF "DEATH BY MISADVENTURE"

Ready?
Well let's play:




TOP DOG

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Episode #5 - Give the dog a bone



(i)You blagged your way onto the Vulnerable Prisoners Unit and SHANKED one of those ANIMALS right the fuck up.
(ii)You framed a MUPPET for the stabbing although EVERYONE knows you did it.
(iii)You recruited some SOUND LADS to enforce your will and sell your GEAR.
(iv)You COERCED a SCREW into bringing your contraband into prison.

You're looking like a man who can do whatever the fuck he wants.

After all this work you want some serious relaxation.

IT'S THE SEASON OF GOODWILL TO ALL MANKIND FFS

You need some loving. What you want is

A BABE WITH PASSION

A WOMAN ON FIRE

A SEXY SIREN TO DRIVE YOU WILD...


A BAD GIRL WHO DOES BAD THINGS

Luckily H.M.P. Bluelight Towers has a women section - Category A prisoners...

Category A prisoners are those whose escape would be highly dangerous to the public or national security. Offences that may result in consideration for Category A or Restricted Status include: (Attempted) Murder, Manslaughter, Wounding with intent, Rape, Indecent assault, Robbery or conspiracy to rob (with firearms), Firearms offences, Importing or supplying Class A controlled drugs, Possessing or supplying explosives, Offences connected with terrorism.

Seriously mad bitches then! Your pet prison officer can get you into and out of the women's wing for a night with your PARTY PACK. They are not happy about it, but what can they say?

Quite a lot as it happens. They point out that some of these girls are mean. Meaner than blokes. Prison Officers have been found seriously mutilated in the past having fallen for the charms of one of these sirens.

This however adds to the thrill of it all. You want that BAD GIRL loving.

Study the mugshots of prisoners below and pick the most PSYCHO BITCH

One that might cut your dick off halfway through you jumping on her bones. Uggers or not, SHAG AND SURVIVE and the RESPECT you gain will be insane!

Not so Secret RESPECT Bonus:

It's TWO to a cell in H.M.P. Bluelight Towers, you can also nominate a UNICORN so you can be the LUCKY PIERRE and yes, you'll be the man, dog!

HOLIDAY SEASON!

CHOOSE THE GUTTER TRAMP FOR YOUR GUTTER SEX



HAYLEY

bone-hayley.jpg








AIMEE

bone-aimee.jpg










MICHELLE

bone-michelle.jpg










SIMMONE

bone-simmone.jpg










KATHY

bone-kathy.jpg










BRENDA

bone-brenda.jpg










KATY

bone-katy.jpg










GORGEOUS GEORGIOS

bone-Georgios-Gorgeous.jpg










JO

BONE-JO.jpg



Remember: For you this is just for fun,
For these people it's all about the RESPECT from shagging with the TOP DOG!

Be warned! All of these girls are willing and able for anything, but for some that includes MURDER!

WHO YOU GOING TO BANG INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK?


I will publish the results in about a week. Keep your eyes PEELED for Episode 6 of this exciting prison simulation!



CHECK IN HERE REGULARLY FAM TO SEE WHO IS THE RESPECTED





TOP DOG

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EPISODE #5



AND WHO IS THE DISRESPECTED PRISON NEUTERED UNDERDOG!



BlueLight_Logo.png

THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES
IS MORE DEADLIER THAN THE MALE
 
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Well, well, well. It looks like my reputation has preceded me. I think Kiah has been talking. No sense telling her about it because she's rather possessive of me by now and she's really doing a bang-up job of bringing in contraband, but I spent an afternoon not-so-secretly checking out the pickins, and here's my take.

Hayley: She's in for murdering her husband. But word on the block is that he was fucking her sister. Maybe death was a little harsh, but not entirely unjustified. She seems lonely.

Aimee: This bitch has the deadeye of a serial killer, which is in fact what she is.

Michelle: A little bird told me she's only into ladies. She'd do it for the respect, but for her it would all be a game. She's in for manufacturing explosive devices for the Taliban. Wrong kind of crazy for me.

Simmone: She's a pre-op M2F it turns out, who hates men with a passion yet can't stop being attracted to them. Considering she is in here for soliciting sex and then murdering the John (three times no less), I'm gonna have to pass.

Kathy: This poor 17 year old girl was prescribed an SSRI for a bout of seasonal depression, and unfortunately it brought out homicidal tendencies in her, and this former good girl murdered her entire family. Ever since she is haunted by their screams and the only thing that quiets the voices, however briefly, is drawing blood, preferably the blood of others. The more blood the better. Add this depravity to the fact that she's underage... prison or no, Shadowmeister has moral standards.

Katy: She's actually innocent of the crimes she was convicted of, which is the cold-blooded murder of her boyfriend via throat slitting, O.J. style. And everyone knows it, too. Although I find her quite attractive, I wouldn't really be in any danger as she's a nice lady. So I'll pass. Not enough respect to be gained here.

Brenda: Is the one who actually killed Katy's boyfriend, because she was fucking him and he refused to leave Katy for her. But this bitch got away with it scot-free. However, she's so depraved that she set off a bomb in a children's hospital just so she could get put in the same prison block as Katy, for the sole purpose of tormenting her. Although she's certainly as depraved as it gets, Shadowmeister has standards, and murdering sick children for the opportunity to fuck with someone whose life you already destroyed is over the line. Not to mention, she's way too much of a loose cannon anyway. Someone this twisted could do anything, at any time.

Gorgeous Georgios: Shadowmeister is a well-known heterosexual ladykiller whose reputation with the women is stellar, thanks in no small part to Kiah's exuberant declarations of his testicular fortitude and robust meat sword. Although I'm sure Georgie is one sick, twisted fuck, his gender immediately disqualifies him from consideration.

Jo: Whoa, now THIS is a fucked up lady. She actually recently got another consecutive life sentence for stabbing a fellow lady inmate in the kidneys (both of them), causing a slow, agonizing death, right in the middle of some rough scissoring. Rumor is it was with a dildo shank. Her motivation? She just wanted to see what would happen. This bitch is legitimately crazy. During my observation I found her having an animated discussion with her vibrator about whether or not it wanted to be sheathed in flesh in an entirely different way than it was intended to be. Evidently the vibrator declined, and Jo became so enraged that she seized out, and upon returning to consciousness, she used her dildo shank to dismember the vibrator into its component parts. At which time she pissed and shit on the remains. So, again, wrong kind of crazy.

RESULTS:

I'm choosing Hayley. Not only is she dead sexy, she also probably won't kill or mutilate me. However there is a possibility. She did dismember her husband afterwards, and there's always the chance that the speculation that he deserved it is wrong, and she's just a sick fuck. Adds just enough of that element of danger, without a huge chance of it going too far.
 
Okay, my unicorn option is Katy. At some point SELF-RESPECT is as important as the respect of others, and she honestly would just be a good time, she's super sexy, willing to please, really wants to get the respect that shagging The Shadowmeister would garner, and I won't have to worry about TWO bitches possibly stabbing me because Katy's no threat. At least I don't think so.
 
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