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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Are you happy with your life?

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My life is so deeply fucked that I'm actually in awe of it. I feel like a character in my own neo-fascist dreamworld. And that's awesome because I'm aware now that there are folds and wrinkles to this underbelly of life that are full of dark and glistening pleasures yet unforseen to me. I can actually go to jail for having a girlfriend. Wait, let me repeat that, in case you missed it. I can go to jail for fucking. It's considered a trigger for relapse in the 1st year of Drug Court, and if the Judge finds out, I will get 4 days in the county jail instantly, 14 days for a second offense and 90 days if I get caught with my pants off for a 3rd time. I'm 26 years old and for the first time in about 14 years, sex has been elevated to the level of forbidden pleasure. HAHAHA, thank you drug court, it's gonna be the best fucking sex I ever had!!!
 
it makes me really sad to read that anyone thinks of themselves like that, cigarettewater
ill bet its not true that ur stupid or a failure
uve just got, as uve already said, low self-esteem
evryones worth being on this planet, including u
 
drug wench is right, u just gotta see the positive side to things..
sure life is fucking crap sometimes, i definitely know that
but its never to late to change it around..
wont happen over night tho.
have you considered counselling or anything? (not for everyone, me included, but counselling works wonders for some)
 
cw,

You need to snap out of it. You've got one foot in the past and one in the future, and you are totally shitting on the present - your present. How many cigarettes did you smoke today? I don't care, double it tomorrow. You're worried about cancer? That's a mental trap if there ever was one. I wish I could slap you... slap you until you get so pissed off that you kill me, dispose of my body and get away with it. Maybe then you could really enjoy a cigarette.

My point? Do whatever makes YOU happy. Not what you think will help you measure up to someone elses standards. You will wither up and die before you succeed at pleasing the people around you. That's not what you were put on this earth to do.
 
You only live once and do it for yourself ;)
i've made some dumb decisions, i am no role model!
but i know i'm gonna stick this out 'til the very end, and i'm trying to turn my life around, kick this evil drug that has consumed my life for six years EVERY SINGLE DAY(not to mention my bank balance!)
but, im oddly content in a way????
i know ill be off this shit soon....and it will make me stronger
 
I have to say I'm pretty happy right now. I got a lot of things going on that I could dwell on - my dad is very sick, I'm probably going to jail for 2 months, I can't drive so can't work - but as I grow I am learning to forget about these things during the day.

When you're looking into the sunlight everything seems brighter.

I met a wonderful girl and have fallen in love with her. I am about to chill with my ex-gf who I also love, but as a friend. We are going to my friends house, who I've been chilling with for 6 years and is a real cool dude. I have a good circle of friends who I always have a good time with. My Dad may be sick, but he is still alive. Though I am looking at jail, I'm not in it now. I can't drive or work, but I still get money.

I'm doing my best to be happy, and so far it's working. I've noticed that when you try to be happy, if you try hard enough, life gets better.
 
^wow, this is an attitude i am really inspired by!
and there i was feeling a little sorry for myself cos im watching a lot of friends going down due to drugs atm (got one crashed on the couch right now....) and im hooked on valium and hav to do a slow taper (slower than most due to my epilepsy) so i cant take my ADHD meds and therefore go to uni (which costs so its not worth going along and failing)
but i read a few of these posts and it puts things in perspective
esp urs nickatina, so thanks for that <3
 
Yeap, life is as good as it gets right now. I have a great boyfriend, I'm going to graduate with my Master's next year with a 4.0 and will get a new car as a present, I'm vice president of the honor society, I have money in the bank, I live in a nice house, I am in good health and in great shape, I haven't been doing any drugs or drinking ridiculously, basically everything is going pretty good. It hasn't always been this good, but it's great at the moment.%)
 
drug_wench said:
^wow, this is an attitude i am really inspired by!
and there i was feeling a little sorry for myself cos im watching a lot of friends going down due to drugs atm (got one crashed on the couch right now....) and im hooked on valium and hav to do a slow taper (slower than most due to my epilepsy) so i cant take my ADHD meds and therefore go to uni (which costs so its not worth going along and failing)
but i read a few of these posts and it puts things in perspective
esp urs nickatina, so thanks for that <3
Click to expand...

That's awesome, it really makes me feel good to know that people can look at my attitude and want to emulate it. The girl I am seeing right now has done that too, and the people in her life have told her she is "morphing" because of it.

I was hooked on benzos too, because I wasn't always this relaxed - quite the opposite, actually. After I got off benzos it was tough for a while, the rebound anxiety definitely wasn't fun. But once the cloud lifted from my head, I think I developed a new appreciation for every time of emotion, good and bad. Because while I was hooked, I basically didn't feel at all, and it ruined my personality. The way I see it now is we, as humans, live for emotions, and to deny ourselves that is to take away our life force.

Then think about this - when we feel bad about ourselves, what do we do? We sit around and mope. We usually choose to isolate ourselves, procrastinate, almost waste away. This only makes the situation worse, especially with all the time to dwell on these bad feelings. But when you are feeling good, the tendency is to go out, get stuff done, hang out with friends and enjoy the feeling. This is productive, and leads to more good relationships, more self-confidence, and less time to think about the bad.

So I think what I'm trying to get at here is that if you focus your energy on thinking about what is good with your life, and forget all about the negative feelings, it snowballs into something even better. Good luck with your taper, remember that there is a LOT of light at the end of the tunnel.
 
im happy with who i am. but i need to improve myself. that never stops of course...but once im done with that at least to an acceptable point, thats when i will worry about finding a serious relationship with a girl. drugs alcohol etc + relationships have always been disastrous for me.

Word is bond~
 
Yeah i suppose.

I don't sit there and beam happiness 24/7, but generally I have alot in my life I should be happy about, and I have a good income to allow me to travel and do the things I want. The others my parents make up for which is great considering I rarely ask, they just give to help me out :D.

I do well in my studies, I have a boyfriend I love and who loves me just the way I am, and the cutest dog in the entire world.

And my life may actually turn out the way I wanted it to in 6-7 or so years. *maybe* Lol

I don't have any of my revolting drug habbits I used to, and I feel I've learnt the life lessons that I needed to at a relatively early age, to continue to have a decent life ahead of me.

All in all, It's okay.
 
Depends on the day.

Sometimes I feel OK about my life... will look at my job and see that I get a sense of fulfillment about it, that I’m young but already found a job that I love. Will feel like the people in my life are good and care about me, I’m not alone. That I have some strength for being financially independent, that my drug use and eating disorder are under control….

Other days I hate my fucking job and it just makes me depressed because it reminds me that I’ve failed at what I wanted to do, feel dumb and stupid for opting for a shitty university because it would allow me to work… feel like I lack the ability to be vulnerable and connect with other people. Feel like I can't control my finances in a responsible way, that my drug use is out of control and that I’ll never get over my ED.

Generally I feel sort of whatever about it. I make enough $ and am responsible enough to have a home, a car, clothes, drugs. I have friends, a job that's decent, pays well and the people that I work with like and care about me. Could be a lot worse.
 
Right now? Yes, but only because i'm finally off probation and found a 2nd job. It could be better though, I wish I wouldn't worry about the future so damn much as it keeps me up at night sometimes. I also wish I could stop being so damn lonely and get a damn girl and have a long lasting relationship that isnt doomed from the start but oh well, you learn from your mistakes I guess...
 
I'm happy when I'm with the bf and things go well, or when I'm high.
Other than that I'm either flatlined emotionally, medication maybe
or in the blackhole I call depression and suicidal ideation
so I would have to say no.
People would look at my life and say, hell thats not all that bad..
its more about how I feel though, still lacking a job too...
 
First thing, fuck this winter. I've let it kick my ass.

I think the key to feeling alright about things is understanding whats going on. Throughout all of this FUCKED UP SHIT i've put myself through, i've had a sense of peace and understanding beneath it. That willl always be with me.

Whats going on is that I KNOW i'm on a spiritual path, and there will always be ups and downs.I know what I need to do- go with the flow of things, don't fight it, and goodness will always prevail.I've been fighting it.

So I guess through all of this unhappiness, i'm still alright with things. I'm aware of whats going on.
 
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