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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Are you happy with your life?

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Horrible at the moment. BF hates me, won't talk to me. Dunno if I can fix it. After all I have done to show him how much I love him. They haven't fixed my k-pins scripts, their mistake and I'm so upset about that an anxious. And apparently the Tramadol arrived LAST month here in town and they can't find it. Are you fucking kidding me. I just have drug floating aroudn that I need SO BAD! PLus I haven't slept. I'm going to crawl back in that hole of depression becuase my sunshine that made me try ti keep going is fading and may be gone. Just kill me, please
 
I don't think you're suppost to be happy with your life.
If you're happy it means there's nothing left to do, you've finished,
and when you finish it's time to die.
While you're alive, you're suppost to be working on it, getting there, you're suposed to be unsatisfied, otherwise you just sit there twiddling your thumbs, lingering, and taking up space others could use.
 
ive thought about this alot and i dont think ive ever been 'happy'...even when i was making alot of money or when a girl i liked liked me back, or when i achieved something great, it didnt make me happy...maybe for a moment i was sort of content but within a few minutes i looked at something else that i wanted and went after that thinking that would make me happy....
 
Libby said:
I don't think you're suppost to be happy with your life.
If you're happy it means there's nothing left to do, you've finished,
and when you finish it's time to die.
While you're alive, you're suppost to be working on it, getting there, you're suposed to be unsatisfied, otherwise you just sit there twiddling your thumbs, lingering, and taking up space others could use.
Click to expand...

I feel this way but i have been searching for what i need to be working on.
Bettering myself?
I have friends that are happy and always in good spirits no matter what is thrown at them and they say 'enjoy life' like it is just that simple.

n3ophy7e, I really don't know why i feel this way all i know is i have never felt any other way it is one of the many constant things in my life.I don't deserve to be happy, hell maybe my sadness is my happiness and Ive yet to appreciate it.

I JUST DONT GET IT
 
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Yes bettering oneself, I feel self improvement is the meaning of life, as for your friends who are just in good spirits no matter what's thrown at them and 'enjoy' life, be careful making that judgement. I would bet a fair amount that nearly all of my friends would (incorrectly) judge me to be in that category if asked.

Anyway, you can't appreciate joy without knowing pain, why do you think good guys die in movies? (By the way I saw this really awesome movie today, cant remember what it was called but there was this awesome old korean war vetaran and young asian boy/man abd his sister who were his neighbours, fucken awesome movie) Your hardships are necessary, they define who you are. Don't be upset with being upset, if that makes any sense.

Edit: Gran Torino, go and see it, unless you're American and it's already been and gone at your cinemas, probably because New Zealand always heaps behind at getting shit, sucks balls.
 
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I am. Things have been reaaaallllllly hard ...the last year i guess:) but things are good today. This week-for the first time in too long I am actually excited for the future and content with the present.
 
Welp .... went from going to a nice college , living in a nice dorm, having awesome friends to hangout with all day everyday a cool ass girl ... well i was addicted to opiates during this time but i was still happy.

Now, i sit at home all day and think what a piece of shit i am and wonder if the sub program is really gonna work out and if i'm gonna pass my drug test and blah blah blah.

I hate my life at the moment. Dope takes the pain away but it's so temporary why even fucking bother anymore?

I start a job in 2 weeks and just got 200 bucks to last me till then. Prob spend the money on dope even though i shouldn't..... but hey i'm only gonna use once a weekend right!! YEAH FUN FUN FUN. My sleep is filled with weird ass dreams , constant tossing and turning and waking up every fucking hour thinking a dream is real or some shit. I love my family so much and they want to help me and want the best for me .... but i don't want the best for me because life at the moment fuckin blows dick. I'm only 19 so much time to change things around and i know this but everything just fucking sucks lately.

Got so depressed yesterday or day before can't remember copped 3 bags of fire thought i waited long enough for the sub to wear off but noooo barely catch a fucking buzz. Now might fail a drug test because of it so that was a pretty dumb decision.

I wish i had some faith in my life. What someone earlier in the thread said about life being pointless .. yes i guess this is true if your an atheist. Fuck it who cares anyway?

The thought of dieing and never seeing my family and friends again is the most depressing thought i think one can have and it arises in my mind quite often.... i hope there is a God and i hope there is more than this shitty depressing life on earth.
 
dubcity - sounds like PAWS
it wont go on forever, tho i wont lie, it hangs around for awhile
if ur on the right dose of sub then it shud minimise the symptoms

atm i shud hate my life cos basically evrythings going wrong!
i think its my relationship with paul that keeps me going tbh
 
Happy. Almost every day.
Stressed, maybe, about the day's plans, but basically always looking forward to most or all of the day, especially the time I will spend with my family.
I also enjoy my job, so I'm lucky.
I always try to enjoy the hard work, and the drudge work, though I'm not always successful.
I do have cycles of relative lowness, and constant battles to improve myself, but I enjoy a good portion of my life.
 
*hugs Drug Wench*

What? like there needs to be a reason?
 
awww libs ur a sweetie *hugs back*
despite all the goings on however i am strangely happy most of the time
although i hav a foul temper at times.....
 
I have a foul temper too lately, it's wierd coz certain things get me all riled up really easy, either really mad or really excited and overly enthusiastic and giddy, but in general, and certainly moreso before coming clean, I think I have grown to accept my misery lol, of course there are happy times too, I just mean, I'm unaffected by my unhappiness, like I really dont care that I'm unhappy alot of the time, it doesn't bother me lol.

All my happiness comes from the boy though.. I'm super clingy, I don't mean to be.. but like the most painful part of my existance, is waiting for him to come over, and super-listening to every little noise to see if it's him coming down the street... it really is quite painful, I get really obssessed with the listening lol, it's like.. if it gets louder it's coming towards me and could be him, so it's like, a noise? oohh.. damn it, it didnt get louder.. or oooh oohh that sounds like.. oh no, that's a lawn mower.....and there are constantly noises, so i'll be always obbsessing while I wait thre's no break, and you know how boys are, who knows if you'll be waiting 2hours or 4 hours, and then if they call and ask to switch it to tomorrow instead, and it's like for fucks sake, i showered and washed my hair, and shaved my legs my arm pits and my snatch,m put on deoderant AND perfume ANd spayed my snatch with femfresh, blowdryed, straightened and styled my hair, tried on 10 different outfits, did my make up, moisturized, put firming lotion on my ass, paced around the lounge for 4 hours and all for nothing?!

Ahhh my insanity, it's just laughable really, not upsetting.
Sometimes I almost get upset if I think too long about the fact i have sex with people for a living for the past 8 years, but then i'm like, fuck I'm just spoilt, I get $120 for lying on my back and smiling and nodding for approx 10 minutes... Oh life is so hard man, haha.. not really, don't feel sorry for yourself haha.

OK I really am upset about Skoota died last year. But I try not to think about.
Kinda hard when i have a tattoo on my arm in memory of him (why why why? Im such an idiot)
and when people at work or whatever ask about my tattoo, I always make upo lies about him and stuff, I think just so i dont have to think about him and missing him, make up make believe stories instead, they shouldn't fucking ask anyay, rude bastards.. if someone has a tattoo that begins 'in memory..' it's obvious someone close to them died, dont fucking ask questions if you are a stranger.
 
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its ok to hav a foul temper and b a bit swingy and unhappy (and clingy with loved ones too) wen kicking meth - all totally normal
i assure u it comes right ;)
 
Ok I thought long and hard about your statements Libby and was surprised to read such simple logic and slightly upset with myself for not seeing things that way.I definitely appreciate your thoughts as you have helped me grow if even in the most minuscule way.Growth is still growth right.

But i would have to say that none of my friends ever misjudged me as being happy ever.
And these guys, my friends have grown up in that island environment and have the mentality of everything's good and when its not good it will be soon.

Maybe I AM misjudging them but i feel i know them well.Part of the reason why i have a small select group of friends is so we can trust each other and rely on each other.
I feel like a friendship is an investment and i give all i can even tho when it comes to women i have been shit on in countless long/short term relationships.
Also i like to take at least one good quality from anyone i consider a good person and adopt that into my life.
sorry Rambling again.
 
I just thing it's very easy to say others have it easier, or others are happier, but you dont really get to know how they really feeling deep down. Grass is always greener sort of thing.
Life is tough for everyone.. You know you get home and it's like fuck I had a stressful day, but then you go, so what the whole world had a stressful day, and you feel better, well I do anyway.
Haha, I just reminded myself of that foamy cartoon, this episode, I can post it here because this one's about drugs.
click me
 
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