FIRST THOUGHTS AND SECOND CHANCES
I got a load of this when it first come out and initially found it quite interesting, but there were things about it i weren't too sure about. As i said at the time theres something quite psychotic about it, far moreso than K. After a few mad sessions on it, i came to the decision i'd learnt all i could about it, i felt it lacked a lot of the depth of a good K-hole and the lingering after effects were just a little too long and annoying. One-trick-pony I think I called it and stashed it away somewhere lonely and ignored.
Anyway a few months ago I thought I'd give it another chance, bit of a K drowt, that dodgy shit will do. I told myself not to go too crazy this time and whadya know, i found some new love in it (mixed it up with Butylone, good little combo, see my post in the appropriate thread). It seemed i was wrong to dismiss this interesting multi-faceted sneaky little fucker!
TAKE IT EASY, AND IT WILL BE GREAT
There are some drugs i have major respect for: Acid, because its a serious commitment, DMT because its so full-on, benzos in general cos of the dependency (I'm sure you have a few drugs you could nominate here for your own reasons). But most of the time i just go fuck it, sniff it, see what happens today, Coke, Drone, Ket are all good examples of this.
I've realised now that MXE (Mox as we call it round here) is one to be respected. Nice reasonable size lines are good, but rather than every ten minutes I try to give it an hour between em. Soon enough i'm gently/messily finding myself in a world of much peace and happiness, with a fair bit of the good old wobble-wierd for entertainment. In many ways it reminds me of when I used to do K almost 24/7. Some kinda make-believe world that feels so good where i can do anything and its all kinda great, somewhere i never want to leave.
The loved-up feeling i get from mox is unlike anything else, sorta like that first E but not, different in a slightly ketty-everythings-great kinda way. Both me and my Mrs have really taken a magical rediscovery of this. The psychotic edge seems to have subsided (but i know its there, its had a few minutes in the spotlight) but taking it all slower seems to help.
Of course it aint for everyone, i've heard of bad experiences, think i even heard the usual "blue knees" story resurface. But I think its important to respect this drug. Etizolam seems to be good for easing it all off a bit if you do find it too much.
ADDICTION?
I'm certain this is addictive in much the same way as Ketamine, everythings so great on it and seems so horrible when you come off it that all you wanna do is stay moxified. Like I said I've been there with K and went through "withdrawals" (might have worsened since i'd built up a minor Valium habit which i kicked the same time),so I really do know how hard it is to come off something like this. Emotions are sinking, wanting to scream, fight, cry or whatever it is you do when you're this low. You go outside but the real-world seems a million times worse in every way, its all so fast, people running at a thousand miles an hour...for what?! Everything is in your face, everyone is in your space, society is full of idiots and arseholes, and no-one else knows or gets it cos they haven't been where you've been and seen how it really is. They're all ignorant, but you know, you can't articulate it but you know it, so fuck them. Let them have their little life, never questioning, never wanting to know. You've seen/felt more than any mortal should see/feel. That makes you pretty fucking magical and I know you wanna go back for more but not today. Hopefully not tomorrow either.
Sadly the real world is shit but you'll get used it again.
I admit I've drawn more from my own K withdrawal experience (which followed several months of every day) and my own feelings following a few Mox benders. With a little bit of my own bad attitude thrown in. But for those hooked and trying to get off this I'm sure your experiences are not all that different. If it does seem at all similar I won't lie and say its easy but it sure aint impossible I can't tell you what to do next, theres different ways to deal with it, and its a personal thing, you have to find the right solution for you.
On a happy note remember with respect and reason, an occasional Mox/MXE sesh with someone you love or people your close to can be amazing, life-changing even, but not if its everyday.
