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Self-harm support thread v. 3

Sykoknot said:
I'm curious if anyone has cut when not dealing with emotional issues? Just cutting or self harm because it feels good?
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Yep definitely. I have cut in the past just because it felt good. And I have also cut just because it was "the done thing" for me at that time in my life, just a habit.

And sometimes I cut when I was really really super drunk and the thought would just pop in to my head and I couldn't think about anything else until I'd actually done it.

Also pretty fucked up.
 
I ended up doing it as a habit for months, and when I actually did it for a reason I just cut deeper or more and just made it worse.

Hurting yourself drunk is so much worse I think, obviously it's even harder to stop yourself as I found out, but it dulls the pain and you don't realise how much you're actually damaging yourself. Again, as I found out :/

Edit: Not attacking anyone who hurts themselves while drunk by the way, I've done it myself many times. Just pointing out how much more dangerous it is.
 
had a really rough night last night.

Woke up this morning to more and deeper cuts than I realized.

I've made the decision to throw out my razors. I can still find other ways to cut of course, but it will take a lot of the easy access out of the equation when I get a strong impulse.
 
That's always a good start :) I took all the knives out of my room and that really made me slow down with it. Good luck :)
 
kc that is a really good idea hun.
It sounds like you need to perhaps make a plan of action for when you feel the urge to cut. Without your razors you will need to use other coping mechanisms whenever you feel stressed or upset. It will be hard at first but it really does get easier with time.
I'm just running out the door at the moment but I'll PM you soon so we can discuss it, if you like?
Take care hun <3
 
the move to get rid of easy access cutting tools is a very important and effective step, if you manage to do this, congratulations. i gave my blade to a ... friend to hold. there are still sharps around the house, but breaking the cycle is a definite breakthrough.
 
Hey guys, haven't been around lately so I thought I'd drop by & let you all know I'm alive & doing well. I haven't cut since my last post so I'm at around 6 weeks, maybe 8. I'm proud of myself for that.
Everything seems to be heading in the right direction & life is pretty fucking peachy on my end.
Thanks to everyone for supporting me & I showing me they care. I care about all of you guys too, even if we are just strangers outside of BL. I hope everyone is doing well & getting through life easily.

xx
 
^^ Hey hun, it's so great to hear from you!! And it's awesome to hear that you're doing so well. Much love, and take care :) <3
 
id be cutting myself up now yes :) but i worry about infections later... :\


haha no other bluelighter has less then 4000X4000 posts.

leave me with this, cool?!?
 
^^ Well I am really glad you're choosing to not go down that road man. For whatever reason, it's not worth it. Hang in there okay? <3
 
I burned myself for half a second last night with a lighter. It was strange. I was like "wtf, this hurts?!" and quit.
Guess it just isn't a coping mechanism anymore.
 
It's been about three (?) years since my last cutting, and for some reason I burned two dots into my arm with a cigarette back in September / October, no idea why. But now, I think it'd be repugnant to do that.
 
^^ So good to hear you moved on from cutting Ramirez. Was there something that you did to help you get through it? Or did you just, well, move on from needing to do it?
 
I haven't moved past it...Don't think I ever will...Its related to the autism...It'd be like asking an autistic person to stop biting there arm or banging there head on a wall until raw...It just won't happen...:|
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ So good to hear you moved on from cutting Ramirez. Was there something that you did to help you get through it? Or did you just, well, move on from needing to do it?
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I kind of just stopped. I can't pinpoint a specific day, but I know it was during the summer of '07.
 
^^ Interesting. I remember the first time I stopped cutting, it was the same type of thing. I just.....stopped one day. I just didn't feel the need to do it anymore.

The other 2 relapses I've had over the years were much MUCH harder to overcome though. I guess it's similar to most any addiction, the more times you relapse, the harder it becomes to quit....
 
i was the same too. I went to rehab for drugs, and while I was there, I didn't injure. I got out of rehab and used, but I am pretty sure I didn't injure. Not for any reason, it just feel out of my coping skill repertoire for some reason. I started back about a year and a half later.
 
I always thought it was strange that I couldn't ever remember a date when I quit. I'm not?
 
I can kinda relate jack, but I'm still in the relationship, its just really tough to maintain because my girl is in inpatient rehab for another month in another state. We got over the ODing a while and stuff has progressed for a better in some ways thankfully, but I still havent gotten over the cutting though, so many damn scars... But if I could go back, man I would definitely done better, not made things so messy.
 
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