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Self-harm support thread v. 3

Cutting or other ways of self-injury is a way some people cope with experiences and strong feelings associated with them.

why?
-provides a way to express difficult or hidden feelings
-to express anger, sadness, grief and hurt when normal methods, such as crying, offer no relief
-a way of communicating to others their need for support and/or help
-to prove to themselves that they are not numb or they are even still alive
-to have control, control over feeling or their body when there seems to be no other control.

Cutting can provide one or all of these things for the person.






I'm having a bad day. I feel like cutting, knowing I won't though. Sometimes its good just to say that I FEEL like it though. Its like an addiction...well it does provide chemicals to the brain that make you feel "better"... it keeps running through my mind. I know it won't help but I hurt and I feel alone.
 
Awwww :( I know the feeling. Especially when I ride on the transit system I feel that way, cuz everybody seems so depressed and dark!

I know its tough, but cutting probably will just make things even scarier. I hope your feeling better soon. Sometimes, I have learned, the best thing to do is just grit your teeth and wait for the pain to pass. Ive been in constant pain for the last 10 years. Relief here and there yah know?
 
Its 2 years sense Pierre passed...and I'm going on 3 months without cutting...Its difficult...I'm autistic, and it would be equivalent to an autistic child not biting the back of there hand until blood is drawn, or banging there head until its bruised...Nearly imposable for someone in my shoes to obtain from the ridged repeated thought patterns of wanting to slice and dice...as my dad so eloquently describes my SI...all of this is to say...I'm taking it a day at a time...<3
 
Made a real mess of my arm tonight, and added some cigarette burns to complement the cuts.
 
Why Sweet P?? What made you do that hun? I really wish that whatever happened, it didn't come to that :(
 
^ Just more crap being thrown my way. I rear-ended a car at an intersection and can't afford to pay the damage because I'm totally broke, one of my closest mates is going to jail for breaching his sentencing conditions, and I'm due in court for my sentencing next week.
 
I havent cut for about 1.5 years, and it was real bad at one point. I rarely think about it now, and when I do, I just do what many others have said, and distract myself.

If you ever get the urge, just think of say a 5-8 word phrase or sentene abpiy something you really like, and keep repeating it in your head, or out loud if it helps more.

People cutting does not make them stupid, retarded or anything else. Someone who gets through it and stops, has more to offer than somebody who's never had to face up to problems. Dont put yourselves down guys, good luck with it all ;DDD
 
it's been years since i've cut myself. i guess i should consider it an accomplishment, something to be proud of- but i don't. i haven't cut myself only because i would then have to explain myself to my fiance who doesn't get it. he thinks that anyone who partakes in self inflicted mutilation is just doing it for attention. i don't mean the kind that some may actually be seeking either, i'm talking the kind that people do sometimes cut for, but more like for attention from peers, or to be considered "cool." it's rather irritating too. i don't feel like the people in my life these days understand at all. my friends in michigan are the only ones who do and i've been relocated to florida for quite some time now.

my fiance once asked about my scars and i didn't try to make excuses. i told him, but he thought i was crazy. i just kind of laughed it off and told him it was the "thing" in high school that we were all experimenting with. which is true, i just left out the part that it kind of stuck with me. though, i haven't cut since 2007.

i've had strong urges to cut for months now. the urges come in waves it seems. i think my current opiate addiction has a lot to do with it, as well as the loss of my job, being a full time student, which in turn means i am absolutely broke. it's really stressful. lately i feel like i've just dug myself into this deep hole. i cry a lot, but it doesn't do very much for me in terms of making me feel any better. cutting was a way for me to concentrate my emotions in to a single "neat" area instead of being all over the place. it also meant that i was in control of atleast one thing in my life. and when i do cut, i can focus on the pain i'm feeling in that moment, rather than any emotional bullshit.

i don't know. i don't really know why i'm posting this.
i just stumbled upon this thread and felt it was something i could relate to.
is it really so terribly wrong for me to admit that i miss it?
 
Feeling full of rage (probably partly fuelled by meth) and ended up cutting down the side of my face... it was either that or a window smashing spree. It looks so fucking horrible though. And to think I've gotta appear in court in 2 days time. Argh!
 
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^^ Sweet P, this is heartbreaking to hear. Not your beautiful face :(
Please please take care of that wound, to reduce scarring. Make sure you clean it and dress it every day to avoid infection.
Is it just the stress of your courtcase? Or is there something else stressing you at the moment? Are you able to see your cousellor sometime soon??

hellocatastrophe said:
cutting was a way for me to concentrate my emotions in to a single "neat" area instead of being all over the place. it also meant that i was in control of atleast one thing in my life. and when i do cut, i can focus on the pain i'm feeling in that moment, rather than any emotional bullshit.
Click to expand...

I can totally relate to this. Thanks for sharing your story with us hun.
It's not uncommon for people to "miss" their self-harm, as it is with any addiction. It meant so much to us for a period of time in our lives and more than likely got us through some really tough times. So it's natural to miss it, to some extent.
But what you have to realise now is that you're not that same person as before. You're older and wiser, and stronger. You've got coping mechanisms that you've learnt, that you didn't have before. You don't need cutting.
Please take care <3
 
n3ophy7e said:
^^ Sweet P, this is heartbreaking to hear. Not your beautiful face :(
Please please take care of that wound, to reduce scarring. Make sure you clean it and dress it every day to avoid infection.
Is it just the stress of your courtcase? Or is there something else stressing you at the moment? Are you able to see your cousellor sometime soon??
Click to expand...

I know... and the worst part is that a facial wound is almost impossible to conceal. In the pic I posted in the photo thread, my hair is covering it. But when I'm out and about, it'll look pretty obvious. I'll take care of it over the next couple of days with dressings and hopefully I'll be able to conceal it with makeup when I appear in court. I've got a lot of stresses going on at the moment. The court case is a major one, but there are others too which I'd rather not talk about on a public forum. :(
 
things had been going ok, had been feeling alot more positive and hadnt selfharmed in about a month, then recently someone close to me died. I have been drinking alot and using benzos to help me get thru. i have also started to cut again because i was feelin so overwhelmed, i just want to wake up and realise that this has all been a bad dream and that everything is still ok.
 
1: n3ophy7e
thank you for your response. it seems like lifetimes ago when i was experiencing the deepest stage of my cutting. i was in highschool, having difficult family problems (particularly with my father), moving around alot, experiencing my first same-sex relationship, and trying to cope with my first heartbreak. when my mother caught me in the act one day, her words verbatim were "get over yourself, this isn't girl interrupted." so cold, right!? she then forced me to see shrink after shrink, which was worthless &a waste of her money at the time. i felt like i was so 'misunderstood,' i was going through that whole teen angst sorta thing i suppose. it was nice to discover that i wasn't alone though. it's so strange to finally identify SI as an addiction as well. i would never let myself admit that's what it truly was/is until recently. it makes me wonder if i've just been trading it for other addictions, the following being alcohol, then benzos, and now opiates. also- thank you for reassuring me of my strength. even though i don't know you personally, it's nice to hear it from others once in a while rather than trying to convince myself alone : )

2: Sweet P
i honestly from my heart do hope that the stress/triggers in your life resolve soon. it kills me to think of a person of such lovely quality like yourself taking it out on her surely beautiful face. in the event that people ask questions (which assuredly they will because people as a whole have lost all sense of what crosses personal lines anymore), just tell them it was from a pet or something of the sort. also, do try not to let it's appearance or what people may assume of it be the cause of another SI event. and keep in mind that we @bluelight are here for you whenever you may need us! again, i hope things turn around and start to look brighter for you soon my dear.

for anyone who needs to talk about anything, SI related or otherwise, or to even inquire about it to get an understanding, i'm available to lend an ear and any help that i can. try to keep your heads up everyone : )

 
hellocatastrophe said:
2: Sweet P
i honestly from my heart do hope that the stress/triggers in your life resolve soon. it kills me to think of a person of such lovely quality like yourself taking it out on her surely beautiful face. in the event that people ask questions (which assuredly they will because people as a whole have lost all sense of what crosses personal lines anymore), just tell them it was from a pet or something of the sort. also, do try not to let it's appearance or what people may assume of it be the cause of another SI event. and keep in mind that we @bluelight are here for you whenever you may need us! again, i hope things turn around and start to look brighter for you soon my dear.

for anyone who needs to talk about anything, SI related or otherwise, or to even inquire about it to get an understanding, i'm available to lend an ear and any help that i can. try to keep your heads up everyone : )

Click to expand...

Thank you... I appreciate the support and kind words. <3

I saw a dealer of mine when I was in court today and he asked what happened to my face...

I lied and told him I had a "disagreement with someone nasty." Seemed to work. :)
 
^ dang sweet pea it sucks to see how consistently you have these horrible feelings. i really hope you can break the cycle somehow. good luck x 19307

ive gone over a month without hurting myself. not to say i havenet been tempted. i think im done with this again until/if my life takes a turn for the worse in the future.
 
Sweet P,

Please do not hurt yourself like that anymore. You make me worry about you with your crystal habit as it is, and then to go cutting your pretty face is doing yourself a great disservice. You can do better than that. You deserve better.
 
^ Thanks guys. That means a lot to me. I'm now working on other ways to deal with stress and emotions... trying to recognise them and channel them into something less destructive.
 
^^ That is so great to hear hun, I have complete faith and belief in you that you can beat this <3
It may be hard at first but with time it will just get easier and easier to practise alternative methods of emotional release and coping with increased stress levels. You can do this hun <3
 
The first time i cut myself was over a girl, lame i know. And hopefully the last time will have been this morning. Locked my knife and drugs up and doing without them both for a week, i hope i leave the knife in the box though.
 
^^ That's great to hear you've locked it away man. Good luck for this week, I am 100% positive you will do just fine without drugs and without cutting. Feel free to check in here if you need support or help okay?? <3
 
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