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Self-harm support thread v. 3

^^ Hey honey, good to hear from you <3
If you feel that you would benefit from checking in to a psych ward, and if you think that's what you need to do, then just do it. Only you will know the answer to that though.
It's so good to hear you haven't been cutting though hun, stay strong okay??

crakkattack said:
But if I could go back, man I would definitely done better, not made things so messy.
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I can definitely relate to this, although when I first started cutting, and indeed for most of my cutting history, I was absolutely meticulous about the size and placement of the wounds, and the cleaning and aftercare of them. Meaning that all the scars from that period of time are rather civilised (if you will), and I've always been semi-proud of them. Like "badges of honour".
But when I added excessive amounts of alcohol in to the equation, everything got completely out of control and THOSE scars are the worst. THOSE scars are the ones I am ashamed of. They are the ones that I regret...
 
^^ I know hun, the thoughts can pop in to our heads when we least expect it. But as long as you don't act on it those thoughts <3
 
I cut myself for the first time the other night.

I carved my lovers initial into my arm. She hates it, even though she has a history of cutting.

I'm not sure why I did it, I am manic depressive, I was on valium/temazepam/booze at the time and am extremely depressed.

She made me promise me not to do it again. But I keep thinking about it. Cutting always repulsed me before... but now something inside me wants to do it again. The same thing that makes me drink too much, makes me use too many drugs, steal from people, sabotage myself, blah blah blah...

I don't know I guess I'm just looking for advice from other people because I've never done anything like this before...

Also King Crimson are fucking awesome, one day I will form a King Crimson tribute band and you should all come see our fucking cool concerts.
 
^Nice to see you back, bro :).


I don't have too much to add, except that benzos seem to make people more prone to self-harm. I know I've cut myself a little on Alprazolam before.
 
That is really true. I think RX'd doses of benzos help me to not harm, but when I take recreational amounts, I definitely lose my inhibitions and end up cutting really bad.



I've come to realize that if I do not have my tools of choice, I don't harm. So I guess if I don't go out of my way to buy those razors, I'm okay for the most part.
 
Mr Blonde said:
I was on valium/temazepam/booze at the time and am extremely depressed.
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Wow man, that is like the combination most conducive to self-harm that I have ever known. Not good at all.
I'm really sorry to hear you did this. I sincerely hope it's a one-off and that you don't develop a liking for it (for want of a better phrase).
It's really hard to see things from other people's point of view when we're depressed but please try to adhere to her wishes, and please try not to do it again. It really does not serve any purpose and doesn't lead to anything good. Of all the years I have been active in this thread, there is not one person I've read from who likes what they do to themselves, or found anything good from self-harm (except maybe when they eventually quit doing it ;))

If you feel any urges to cut again, please distract yourself. The urges subside pretty quickly if you manage to distract yourself. Your girlfriend can help you with this as well, because she has been there herself. Talk to her about it, work through this together <3

How are things with your depression at the moment, in terms of treatment? It might be worth taking a new look at that situation as well.

Please take care mate <3
 
About to cut myself

hey guys im having real big depression issues right now and im thinking about cutting myself can anyone give some harm reduction tips?

i want to cut in a place on maybe my bicep but high enough so that its not visible...optimally i would cut on my thigh area but it seems risky with all the arteries

also if theres a megathread would someone mind merging this?


edit: i've never cut before is why im making this post i'd like to try it
 
^^ I've sent you a PM so please have a read of that before you do anything.

But, in case you read this first, please do NOT do it man. Cutting does not solve anything, and it doesn't make you feel any better. Afterwards you will feel worse and you will regret what you did. It's just not worth it.

You don't need to cut. There are better, more effective ways of dealing with the emotions you're experiencing. The best thing you can do is talk to a loved one, a family member or close friend, about how you're feeling. Just getting your feelings out there and receiving support can help a lot. Exercise is another great way to release some pent-up emotion/tension. There are also non-invasive pain-related methods of dealing with negative emotions, like snapping a rubber band on your skin, or crushing an ice cube in your hands etc.

I'm going to merge this with the Cutting thread, but please PM me or reply in that thread with how you're going.
 
I cut myself last night. And this morning. I was on ritalin last night, though i don't know if that matters. It certainly wasn't the first time I'd cut. Just another relapse. My main issue is that, life is starting to get good, yet i'm feeling stronger urges to cut. Today I decided to stop, yet again, but I don't know how anymore.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
^Nice to see you back, bro :).


I don't have too much to add, except that benzos seem to make people more prone to self-harm. I know I've cut myself a little on Alprazolam before.
Click to expand...

Phenazepam made me more prone to self harm - I fell down a flight of stairs at my house and barely felt it. I can't believe some of the things that I have done/said while blacked out that day. I had to go to the ER and all of that crap....

Back on topic, the only time I've ever cut myself was when I had it bad for a girl and I was drunk and depressed. Even then they were only tiny cuts and I didn't see much attraction to it.
 
Just realised, it's been almost a month since I cut or self-harmed, which is a long time for me.

I haven't had the urge to do it at all.
 
that's so awesome Sweet P.



I had really strong urges tonight, but nothing to use.

It's good mostly, but it is also frustrating because I have all this anger and sadness to get out.
 
Have you ever considered starting a blog or even just a journal at home?

You know we are always here if you wanna rage at us-
I can dig up the old vent/rant thread if you don't want to start your own thread about it!
 
I gave in. With transitioning again and all the hate I have for my body, I semi went off the deep end and cut my...chesticles. I'm a stronger person now. I can deal with this myself. Yet a part of me wants to share my pain with someone, but part of me would be ashamed if I did. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the weak one crying in a corner again, and I can't let myself be that again. I want to go get really fucked up. I want to bleed.
 
Bob Loblaw said:
^Nice to see you back, bro :).


I don't have too much to add, except that benzos seem to make people more prone to self-harm. I know I've cut myself a little on Alprazolam before.
Click to expand...
I have a varied past with benzos (clorazapate, lorazapam, kolanapin, xanax, halcion) and 90% when I take them, even as prescribed for an anxiety disorder, I find myself saying hello to my stashed box cutter and wailing into my left upper forearm. I know my anxiety requires some sort of medicating as it badly limits my day to day function but this side to the benzos frustrates me and causes me to be concerned over what options I have left to try to control my episodes... Any thoughts guys?

In addition, I find when I get into that trance-like time-warp of cutting I always resort back immediately to my eating disordered coping mechanisms. As someone who has been in an locked ED unit, I thought I had moved past that self-loathsome hell. To cut and then purge sends me to the quietest place of numb disassociation. Does anyone experience that?
 
Yeh benzos are a double edged sword. I've found they''re a temporary solution a fucking great temporary solution at that but for me its just further avoidance behaviour so when I end up detoxing I get totally consumed in the depression, anxiety, self harm thoughts. I don't really cut myself I do occasionally I moreso heat up pieces of metal or use cigarettes. Best long term solution for anxiety is focussing on the core beliefs behind the anxiety and changing those beliefs. Also practicing healthy living, breathing techniques to regulate oxygen and co2 in the bloodstream when you are starting to have an attack. Easier said than done though aye. Its a fuckin hard reality to accept for me that I have to deal with this anxiety for the rest of my life. Sometimes don't leave the house for days only to go get on. When my parents are home I'm afraid to leave my room to even go out for a smoke or glass of water cause I have to walk past them. Im putrid at myself cause I was really getting ontop of it for a while then relapsed bad on the drugs.

I am so grateful for the wonders of the internet there is NO ONE I can talk to in real life about self harm. Even my shrink last time I seen him he asked to see my recent marks and I lifted up my shorts and he goes "woah" which just made me feel like a total freak. I come here and theres a sticky thread for it.
 
zombiesarepeaceful said:
I gave in. With transitioning again and all the hate I have for my body, I semi went off the deep end and cut my...chesticles. I'm a stronger person now. I can deal with this myself. Yet a part of me wants to share my pain with someone, but part of me would be ashamed if I did. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be the weak one crying in a corner again, and I can't let myself be that again. I want to go get really fucked up. I want to bleed.
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zap, if you are going to try and destroy you, 'as you feel you are meant to be'... i dont know what to say... you have done more work for and been through more hell then most of us know of.

youve lived so much life, a bunch of shit? yeah, me too, its fucked, but for some reason it is this way. iam physically ruined, with the odds ive hit as far as diseases, i should of hit the lottery several times, more probably.

for some reason... i know mental diseases/disorders/misfires, are just as painful, being schizoeffective. im lucky kind od because the nature of that is to come and go, you live with this beast, and its a nasty one. but you beat it with a damn bat, the best you can and its been a lot... + how old are you again anyway?!?

idk, from the bottom of my heart, please let that blade lay, and let the old scars stay where they are.
 
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