smackydowners
Bluelighter
ive no idea why, but this almost made me shit myself laughing!
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Tell a shit joke
- Thread starter THECATINTHEHAT
- Start date
ive no idea why, but this almost made me shit myself laughing!
Jesus walks into the job centre and asks the lady at the counter if there are any carpenters/joiner jobs,
The lady at the counter says "there is only two,one in london for £300 a week or one in
Jerusalem for £3000 a week"
He says you better give me the one in London, the last time I was in Jerusalem..............................
I got hammered with tacks. (tax)
The lady at the counter says "there is only two,one in london for £300 a week or one in
Jerusalem for £3000 a week"
He says you better give me the one in London, the last time I was in Jerusalem..............................
I got hammered with tacks. (tax)
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
Need to lose weight? Try Diet Coke.
For better results, diet and Coke.
For better results, diet and Coke.
what is forrest gump's email password?
[spoil]14S1[/spoil]
lol.
alasdair
[spoil]14S1[/spoil]
lol.
alasdair
smackydowners
Bluelighter
^^^ i dont get it.
why does michael j fox make the best milkshakes??
because he uses the finest ingredients.....
(anti-joke)
why does michael j fox make the best milkshakes??
because he uses the finest ingredients.....
(anti-joke)
conscious-observed
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 12, 2015
- Messages
- 89
How do you feel in one word?
Poop emoji
Poop emoji
Sadie
Bluelight Crew
Most of you who know me have heard this one before but I'll lay it out here as it's my all time fav shite joke.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken!
smackydowners
Bluelighter
aaaah dont geyyt tituh??
Drench
Bluelighter
Hmm...I think I'm liking my beard now...it's grown on me!
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
BecomingJulie
Bluelight Crew
Q. What's a misogynist's favourite RC Benzo?
A. Dudebromazolam.
A. Dudebromazolam.
Drench
Bluelighter
Q. What's a bakers favourite Benzo?
A. Twomarzipam
A. Twomarzipam
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
A man walks into a bar.
Ouch.
Ouch.
Sadie
Bluelight Crew
You're too young to be telling dad Jokes Sprout!
Pink Pigeon
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2015
- Messages
- 518
Why pick up your dog shit when he /she doesn't pick up yours. 8)
bogman
Bluelighter
Alcohol free larger.
Like licking your sisters fanny.
Tastes the same, just doesn't feel right!
Like licking your sisters fanny.
Tastes the same, just doesn't feel right!
Sprout
Bluelight Crew
But I have so many shite jokes!
A horse walks into a bar, the barman asks 'why the long face?'
The horse, by virtue of being a horse, is neither capable nor understanding of human speech and humour.
Confused and bewildered by its surroundings, the horse turns back and gallops out of the bar, knocking over two tables and three disgruntled patrons in doing so.
Saturday afternoon anti-jokes.
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
A duck waddles into a job centre and goes up to the guy at the desk... "Excuse me sir, I'm looking for work" he says.
The guy nearly falls off his chair with shock. "Fuck me!" he thinks, "a talking duck. I could make a fortune by exhibiting him all over the world". So he says to the duck "Have you ever considered going into showbusiness?"
Duck says "No, never..."
Guy says "Why not? With a talent like yours you could be rich and famous!"
Duck says "Because I'm a plumber by trade..."
The guy nearly falls off his chair with shock. "Fuck me!" he thinks, "a talking duck. I could make a fortune by exhibiting him all over the world". So he says to the duck "Have you ever considered going into showbusiness?"
Duck says "No, never..."
Guy says "Why not? With a talent like yours you could be rich and famous!"
Duck says "Because I'm a plumber by trade..."
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Q. What do you call a pirate who paints pictures?
A. An aaaarrrh-tist..
A. An aaaarrrh-tist..