Thanks for the feedback.
I ended up taking about ~20mg yesterday (2.5 8mg films). ~12mg Weds night (1.5 8mg films). Last opiate was 8pm Tues eve.
So, last night I slept OK. Not great at all, but probably 5 hrs max. Woke up feeling fine, much better than yesterday morn. So fine that I didn't take anything this morn. Had bfast w family, took off for work (had to visit a client, work from home - field ENG).
Anyway, didn't even take any before the visit (and I always used to blast before heading in), and was in-plant for about 5 hrs dealing with issues, dealing with other ENGs, handling business. I just decided I was going to see how I did and I felt great. I assumed there was a lot leftover flowing thru my veins from the 20mg I took yesterday, but overall I had no WD feelings and felt great. Was very inspired and encouraged by the way I felt today, like I might actually be able to not take Subs too much and ride this out pretty quick/painlessly.
So, get home tonight and decide to take 4mg around 8p just to chill. I am chilling, but I don't feel 'high' really, just a little more relaxed. I think I will sleep much better tonight than I have the past two. Anxiety WAY down, no mind racing, no physical ills, etc etc. I have W/D fully 3 or 4 times since early 09, and this time I've been at it daily/all day since mid-November.
I don't know, maybe I have my hopes up and the Sub is working more than I am aware, but I am now hopeful that maybe I can use these 30 x 8mg Subs to taper over the next 45 days or so. Do that rather than getting on a 90 8mg/mo script which is the direction I feel the Dr wants me to go, or I guess, is the direction I know I can go if I want. I started this whole Subx thing fully intending to just switch my high and keep going (((legally & prescribed))) rather than off the streets, but now I think I may just give it all up. I have been giving all of this a lot of thought over the past 9-10 days leading up to me seeing the Sub Dr on Mon.
Plus, my insurance is only covering a small amount until I eat up some deductible, so I am thinking I might just get about 60-90 8mg total and use them over the next few months to come off very slowly, rather than just switching to Sub full-time, which is what was in the back of my mind. Even tho I have the $, Don't know if I have the desire anymore. Think the desire to just be done is emerging more and more the more I mull over this whole situation. Been off and on for about ~5 yrs, with much more time ON. Think it might be time to consider my exit strategy, and put this shit to bed once and for all, using this Dr and these Subs to do it.