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The Suicide support thread

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Ah okay, good..

I'm really sorry things aren't looking up for you. Does anything seem to help? How about friends?

<3
 
Try to find something that inspires you.. Maybe deliberately take time away from drugs to build
interests, habits or relationships in that distant land called reality lol..

I know it seems like a distant and difficult place for me sometimes.. One that,at times, Id much rather not be in.
The thing I have begun to like about it is gardening.. it gives a kind of rhythm to my life that I like. When Im planting bulbs or seeds Ive always got something to look forward to in the garden..
Its a good delayed gratification workout!

Maybe give a couple of hours a week to a charity shop.. Voluntary services have plenty of jobs in your community Im sure.. It would undoubtedly be good for your self esteem and
youre bound to meet a whole new set of people who aren't druggy at all.

Anyway.. I do hope that gives you some inspiration Mr Flowers.. Youre in my prayers..

Peace n Love xx :)<3
 
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Hah I think a lot of people would agree with you there. However, rich does not necessarily equal happiness! Look at all the celebrity divorces, drug problems, even suicides.. lack of money can definitely exacerbate unhappiness, but I don't think money itself can create happiness.

YPDH has given some excellent advice in her post :)
 
Yes, thank you YPDH for yet another excellent post :) <3


mrflowers I sometimes think that too. It would be nice to not have to stress about money, like, ever. But effie is right, all the same problems could still be there even if we had all the money in the world! Or, maybe not all the same problems but different ones.
I am trying really hard to teach myself to stop wishing that things were different, and instead trying to MAKE things better in the life that I'm have. I have wasted too much time and energy wishing that I was different, or that my life was different. So now I'm spending that time actively doing things that will improve my situation.
 
What about working in a soup kitchen or something like that, just a few hours a week (as YPDH suggested). I know you have issues with pain but even just an hour here or there, of working together with other people, whilst helping homeless people, might really help to lift your mood. You never know until you try it <3
 
That sounds brilliant :) good luck!

I think having something positive like that to focus on will really help.. plus it's a great opportunity to meet new people :)
 
for le suicide thread

My eating dosorder has completely consumed me. Therapy is making me feel things again and it is completely unbearable. I'm back to crying on the bus and what not. On the top dose of prozac now and it's (obviously) just not cutting the mustard any more. I have felt suicidal before, but I've never felt such a risk to myself. I managed to not buy razor blades on the way home to self harm - I haven't self harmed for nearly 10 years.

I know in my heart of hearts I won't kill myself, but the desire not to be is so intense.
 
have you informed your therapist of these returning negative impulses and feelings as of yet? I think that is a very important thing to tell your doctor. If s/he is unaware of the negative sides of therapy that are hitting you, then they will continue on and things may get worse for you.

Your doc most definitely has alternatives and secondary treatments available for scenarios like what you are describing.

Feelings can be super powerful at times. You don't need to go through all of that alone. If you don't have anyone IRL well, you have us <3
 
I need to make an appintment with the doc, fuck knows how long that will take. Got lot's of support, hardly anyone has full disclosure. I saw my therapist on Thurs so she's pretty up to speed. I'm lucky really.
 
it just seems like the last 7 or 8 years ive been caught in this contenual decline. it just seems like the only logical way out is check out. i just cant seem to make the decicion.
 
If my grandma wasn't still alive I would kill myself right now... I hardly ever feel like this but I definitely do tonight >=(
 
glitter_kiss said:
it just seems like the last 7 or 8 years ive been caught in this contenual decline. it just seems like the only logical way out is check out. i just cant seem to make the decicion.
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The reason that you can't make the decision is because deep down inside you actually don't want to die. Suicide can sometimes seem like the easier option out, but you would definitely regret it. Whatever method you used, as you were taking your last breaths, you would regret it. Please remember that.
glitter_kiss, I know you've had a hard time in the last few years, but it is still possible to turn things around. Please believe that <3


MagickalKat777 said:
If my grandma wasn't still alive I would kill myself right now... I hardly ever feel like this but I definitely do tonight >=(
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Honey I'm sorry to hear you're feeling this way right now. It sucks. I know because I've been there many times. But this feeling WILL pass. The darkness will clear, and you will feel happy again.
Have you got a friend or family member who you can talk to about how you're feeling?? Is there anything in particular that is going on for you to make you feel this way?
Take care hun <3
 
Lately my life has gone completely array. I've been on subutex for 3.5 years now. About a year ago I started injecting the pills. This, obviously is slow suicide. And I don't care. I've tried several times to stop, and have come to realize lately that I am completely powerless over this addiction. I'm okay with that. Not thrilled, but okay. However, I'm fortunate enough to have one really good friend who also goes to the same sub doctor as me, who simply can't look the other way and let me do this to myself. Well a few months ago he gave me an ultimatum to stop injecting them or he would say something to my doctor and get my kicked out of the program. I have not been able to stop, and frankly don't want to. I was in a really bad car accident a few years ago and broke a lot of bones, including 7 vertebrae in my upper back. I live in constant pain and the subutex really takes the edge off, especially when injected. I have gone nowhere in the last few years, and the fact that I'm slowly filling my veins with corn starch and headed toward death really doesn't bother me anymore. It used to, in fact I used to be very against this and bought micron filtering equipment when I first started. Lately I've been too broke to do this. So now it's come down to I either go to rehab or get booted out of this program and go back to doing heroin. I already hate my life so much I can't fucking deal with it. I have chronic prostatitus since i was 17 years old, making it constantly difficult to piss and makes me have to piss way too often. It's not the buprenorphine either, I have taken a 3 month break off all opiates after going to jail; no change. I'm definitively severely depressed and this is the last straw. My friend is under the impression that it'd be safer for me to go back to shooting dope instead of pills. If every dealer cut his dope safely, maybe he'd be right, but that's a fantasy. I don't think he realizes what he's doing to me. After I go to rehab if I don't blow my head off before then, I'll most likely end up going back on sub. I'll most likely start injecting it again. I feel as if I'm destined to die anyway. I feel like I may as well cut the misery short. I could probably be on a stronger opiate too, but the subutex does the job and I prefer it. That's besides the point, but I thought someone might ask. I don't want to deal with the pain of detox again. I take klonopin too. I had to do it jail over a year ago, and I'd literally rather die than go through it again. I don't know what to do.
 
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