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The Suicide support thread

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On this date (and yesterday) last year was 2 horrible days for me.
I got in a argument with my boss of 5 years last year and I ended up drinking a pint of liquor in about an hour and then ate a bunch of benzos and opiates and blacked out. I was crying to my friend and parents about everything that was going on in my life. I spilled the beans and confessed how much I hated my life. I then told my mom I was gonna take a bunch of benzos when I got paid 2 days later and killed myself. If it wasn't for my friend telling my mom that he would talk some sense in me I would have been committed.

I also woke up the next day and was so hungover I slept all day at home by myself , missed family dinner, didn't eat for 3 days, and was overall miserable. 3 weeks later I lost my job.

1 year later I still dabble in low doses of opiates and very occasional benzo use(less then 5 times a year) and I have a good job now and overall I'm doing much better then this time last year.

All in all my message is that no matter the situation you guys CAN pull yourself out of this slump.
 
Mine did 2.. Kind a makes me mad also, its like once they're so old it's time to skip the big ordeals and just go out to eat..
 
cowboys lost and i was happy for a minuet but now the damned patriots are winning i don't like the jets but i hate the patriots but at least i'm not in that funk i was in earlier one love flowers
 
I just want to die at the moment. I have for a long time, but it's such an intense feeling atm, I can't shake it off or ignore it. I used to try and rationalise it as suicidal escapism from withdrawals. But, in my head I know I should do it, it's what my destiny is. I always knew I wouldn't make it past my 20's. The time is coming sooner and sooner. If I had enough drugs I would love to just eat them all, but I don't have enough. I know the perfect place to do it now too. I just don't want to upset my family and last living grandparent, it's not fair on them. But then again, I'm not really close.. And if I did it in a non messy way, my organs, skin, eyes, whatever can be donated to so many other people who actually want to be alive and are fighting to live, not die.
 
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An organ donor is a beautiful thing to be. So is one who cares about their relatives emotional states. As is being a rational person.

Give yourself some credit, and know, that there are possibilities that would truly make you love your life.
 
ok so i can't handle today so many ups and downs i don't know left from right and the voices are so loud and they want me to kill and i feel inclined to listen even though i know they're not real i feel like if i did what they asked of me they might stop talking so damn much ruining my life
 
Thank you Jackie, that means a lot to me. I feel better/ numb after sleeping. Glad I didn't do anything stupid. I'm getting sick of the constant battle in my head.

Mrflowers80, you gotta tell the voices to FUCK OFF. You are better than them, you know you are. Don't listen to them. You know it's not you. If you want to talk please pm me, I'm always here to listen man.
 
mrflowers00 said:
ok so i can't handle today so many ups and downs i don't know left from right and the voices are so loud and they want me to kill and i feel inclined to listen even though i know they're not real i feel like if i did what they asked of me they might stop talking so damn much ruining my life
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Buddy, you know I'm just a pm away.. U can always lean on me!!
 
thanks but i just drugged myself last night and slept a long time now i'm doing better... for now
 
Hey, mrflowers, that sounds so exhausting. Have you ever heard of this movement? They give a different perspective on it than traditional psychiatry.

@Kace--I am really glad that you didn't act on those feelings, too.

I hope that both of you, and the wonderful ms. sconnie, have some peace. <3
 
mrflowers00 said:
what movement idk what your talking about
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It sounds like Herby is talking about a certain type of therapy that has a different approach to it than traditional psychotherapy.

That's my educated guess. She's probably talking about EMDR or CBT.
 
i've done CBT don't know what EMDR is but it feels hopeless i doubt anything can stop the voices
 
i really appreciate how compassionate and caring everyone in TDS is people like you are hard to find
 
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