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The Suicide support thread

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mrflowers00 said:
i've felt this way for years it started when i was 13 to 14 and now i'm 22 and i feel like this because my life sucks due to bad choices i've made and i have chronic pain and severe panic disorder and severe depression, i'm bipolar #2, and i hear voices i'm schizophrenic and i've always been broke and i did really bad in high school so i dropped out and got my GED so i applied for social security disability and i'm thinking about going to culinary school so i can do at least something with my life and not be homeless
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I have had two short stints of homelessness due to bad circumstances, but overall, I can really respect that you are at least trying. :)

You can definitely do whatever you want to man, being a chef is a great idea. I know friends who have strived to do this in life and have really gotten a lot of joy out of it. :D

I am sorry to hear you have chronic pain; I have tendinitis which is a mild pain (I was in severe acute pain from breaking both of my arm bones in my writing arm about 9 months ago). The tendinitis is a result of having to have surgery on my arm because the first hospital I went to didn't do anything for me to reset my arm. :!

Despite all of this I am still trying my hardest to do well for myself. I have ADHD as well as PTSD so some days get very rough for me but I always manage to try to find peace and tranquility in every day.
 
well the only reason i'm trying to do something with my life is that my dad and gpa who raised me and i still live with are both disabled and poor so i need to help them out just like they have been helping me
 
mrflowers00 said:
well the only reason i'm trying to do something with my life is that my dad and gpa who raised me and i still live with are both disabled and poor so i need to help them out just like they have been helping me
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I'm sure that's a lot for you to carry, although I'm sure in your heart it feels like the right thing to do.

I know what it's like when it's a give and take relationship and everyone has to look out for each other, it's one of the better parts of humanity. You are a good person for taking care of your family members, I am sure your father and grandfather will never forget it. :)

If you ever want to talk about stuff feel free to PM me, I'm always around. I hope you're having an OK day.
 
n3ophy7e said:
Hi Serene Imp, this breaks my heart to read that you've made your decision, and I don't even know you! Don't go yet, please <3
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Change of plans, still here for now.

Thank You. You're reply helped, made me deep think a lot of things.
 
I'm really glad you changed your mind Serene Imp :) <3 Please feel free to PM me any time you want to chat, about anything <3
 
i hate only ever coming on here when i need help. its horrible. i should contribute. but i'm really struggling.

my friend is coming over in an hour and even that long seems insurtmountable. i've woken up crying the past 3 days and i promised my boyf i wouldn't turn to drink and benzos but i've had to and the quantities needed are beyond what my tolerance should suggest.

i've spent the last week thinking perservering is a waste of time. this will never get better. all i will do is cause people more pain. everything around me is so fucked. even if i and everyone around me devoted their entire lives to making the world a better place, it would sitll be fucked.

its not like i can even do anything now. none of it will kick in before my friend arrives and i couldn't do that to someone else.
 
Chinup. I think you should get to the hospital if you are feeling suicidal. Get medicated for a while..Youre seeing the world through the lense of some bad depression love.. It can be sorted out and the world isnt as fucked as you seem to think it is..<3<3

Have you taken too many pills already?
 
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no i havn't taken too much of anything i'm just going a bit fucking mental. don't really think i've taken enough of anything. i am self medicating. the nhs knows this.

i can't really think sorry. my mate should be here any minute. my fucking boyf thinks i'm gonna end up in hospital anyway if i continue like this so i'm not gonna hasten the process.
 
Its not your role to fix the world chinup.. you need to start where you are.. Look at the ways you are changing it already..
Everything you go through is meaningful.. Every pain you suffer and grow from changes
the world in some way. None of it is gratuitous

Everything about you is valuable.. Come ON girl..Youre going to be alright. Youve got a lot
of good living to do.

xx<3
 
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emotional mental or physical?

Ok I just read an old post of yours.. Gawd youve been through it mate havnt you!!.I know
what its like to feel like you just want it to end.. or pause even..

In terms of your physical pain I would be bothering my doc daily for something that is
really going to help with the pain!! Cant you get Morphine or something like that?
 
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i get oxycodone and hydromorphone but my tolerance is so high that i always run out a couple weeks early i also get xanax for the panic attacks and i've tried just about every anti depressant there is and none have helped
 
what do you do when you run out?

Do you meditate?

There is always something you can do to change whats happening. Even if its 'just' changing
your perception of the pain and suffering.

Sorry, I need to go.

Hope to hear from you again soon

Peace n Love to you xxx :)
 
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The practice of meditation alone is beneficial I think - it is the path, not the destination that is important :)

How are you doing today?
 
update: my friend is doing what seems to be better. she seems to be a lot happier than she was before, and no real talk of suicide^^ phew...
 
i don't believe in god so i think once you die thats it it's like a black out and you don't have to deal with anything
 
^^ I don't believe in god either mrflowers, and I agree with you that when people die, I think that the lights just....go out.
But that doesn't mean we can't at least try to make our living moments less painful. I know you've tried, but you just have to keep going. For the time that you're here, you're still existing and experiencing every moment, and you can't take your life right now because you can't leave your dad and grandpa, so you've gotta stick around for at least the timebeing. If you used to be able to meditate effectively, it means that you've got the skills and the know-how to do it, so please keep trying <3
 
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