His vision flooded with colors and lights, the colors and lights waxed higher in intensity and lower in salience. His attention turned inward. He perceived a great structure to all things, linking birth and death, mind and matter, man and cosmos, spirit and flesh. And all things moved as one, in a great cycle – chaotic as all things seemed, they began to relate to one another in previously-unforeseen ways, but with mathematical precision. All the entropic noise ceased, entropy itself began to be given Euclidean form, complexity had been rendered simple, all was part of a supreme lattice, a superstructure uniting all the structures and interrelationships that were in the world.
And this structure shrunk again into itself, coalesced, regressed, it became embryonic, in the final throes of a gestation whose travail would bring forth the dissolution of all the old, cobwebbed structures and meta-structures into a single, eternal, shining singularity. This was Nirvana, this was New Jerusalem, this was Moksha – this was an end to dichotomy, an end to duality, an end to category and separation and dissolution and strife and discord, and above all, of narrative time and the oscillations of the innumerable points along innumerable, convoluted, elliptical continua that defined his everyday subjective being. As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end.
But as the hours wore on, the sharpness of contrast and the neon hues and the bright lights dimmed, and everything took upon a grittier appearance. And he perceived for a moment himself, perceiving this non-dualistic singularity, and in that moment, he began to perceive it as a spiritual spectacle every much as the carnival of light and colors before his eyes was a visual one. And now, he was just very, very high. And, conscious of this, what he had just seen began to feel illusory. There was no end to dichotomy – this was dichotomy, this lay in opposition to the “other” that was rapidly overtaking him – this was a state, and a state was at the very least a point in a dichotomous continuum if not a binary variable, flipped off and on like a light-switch.
The humdrum, ordinary physicality and emotionality of context returned. Euphoria gave way to mania, mania gave way to grandiosity, grandiosity to paranoia, paranoia to dysphoria, and thus the whole continuum became clear to him, and all the divisions within. As transcendent as monism felt, the practicality of dualism was once again impressed upon him. He passed a difficult, restless night, and awoke feeling tired, with but an ill conceived memory of the Himalayan heights he head reached the evening before.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
