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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

Xorkoth

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@Xorkoth I’m not sure how low your low dose of Kratom is but I generally use 2.7g (I have a scoop that always weighs out .9g, I take 3 of those) once a day every other day, sometime I’ll take 2 doses in a day if I need an extra boost of energy. I find this routine really easy to maintain without having any withdrawal symptoms and still getting to enjoy the effects of Kratom.
I really like the effects of low dose Kratom. It just feels like a super caffeine to me. When I keep it at this low dose I don’t feel WDs on my days off. Sometimes on days I don’t take any I’ll have a shitty day or feel low energy, maybe it’s because of the Kratom, but on other days that I don’t take any I feel completely fine or even better than if I had taken some, so who knows, I just write them off as shitty days. Working out on off days helps, an endorphin high is very similar to a low dose of Kratom.
I know you’ve struggled with Kratom addiction and its a very uncomfortable thing to go through. I’ve skirted the edge of it many times. But I do believe it’s possible to use it respsonsibly with very little negative effects. The key is not using it every day and keeping doses low. The Kratom high doesn’t get that much better the more you take but the withdrawals certainly get worse. When I realized that 3g feels about as good as 2-3x that much I decided to stick to that dose. I’ve been maintaining this for around 2 months now and the days off are really not that bad. My intention is to lower my dose and see how low I can take it and still feel good effects from it.
I really like Kratom, I feel like I function better on it. I prefer it to stimulants when I need to focus on a task and get it done. Stims make me feel like I’m on a drug, I can’t eat or sleep. Kratom is pretty transparent. I’ve noticed no negative effects on sleep, appetite or libido from taking it this way.
I’m not trying to convince you to stay on Kratom. I just thought I’d share what’s been working for me.
I believe in better living through chemistry and feel like we can make drugs work for us without being enslaved to them. It just takes a little fine tuning and will power.
This post was brought to you by me, high on Kratom, YMMV.

I'm coming off of dosing like 4-6 times a day every day, so I'm doing like... 1/20th as much as I was, but my dose is currently 3-4 tsp once every other day, which is certainly more than 2.7g. Today is a day on, I think I'll try 2tsp, and also weigh it, I believe each tsp is about 2g, at least it used to be many years ago when I did kratom all the time, but the powder these days is way more micronized (used to be coarser), so it's possible it's more than 2g.

The other issue is I was using loperamide on the off days for a while and now I'm not, so my body had gotten used to having a high dose of loperamide or kratom all the time. Now most of the time it has neither.

My time lock safe has been my saving grace. When I simply can't get to it, I don't sit there and think about it. Today at noon it will open and I'll probably still try to wait a little longer and then take my dose and lock it up again.

I definitely need to start working out again, I totally stopped while I had covid and I'm feeling pretty weak, gotta get back to it.
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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I've been beyond miserable for a week now, a never ending cycle of negatively hammering on myself. Had to get shit done, didn't do it of course, can't now.
I learnt that there's a lot of underlying anxiety at play which plays a large part in many of my other problems, no idea how I'm ever going to tackle that when I'm constantly living in two hazes. I'm also a shit person in both, an egomaniac when up, worthless and lazy when down. Can't even say I've been off drugs, fuck this, every time I think I'll be okay and when time comes around I get rekt like never before
 

Xorkoth

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Hang in there, man... your twenties are rough. Even without bipolar. But as long as you keep trying, you'll start to figure it out. It's bipolar, right? Have you tried any mood stabilizers, like Lamictal?

I didn't weigh a teaspoon of kratom, but I did take just 2 tsp today and I think the effects are actually better than when I was taking more, it IS like super caffeine kind of. I redosed 1tsp 2 hours in and locked my time lock safe, but this time it's locked until Wednesday. I needed to cut an extra day anyway, since every other day seems to be prolonging things. Probably if I was to just start dosing once every other day from no dependence it wouldn't cause it, but since I am dependent, it's definitely reducing my dependence, but not getting rid of it. Wednesday is band practice and I'd like to not be having an off that for that.

In other news... fiberglass insulation succcckkkkks. My safety goggles fog up literally the same second I put them ion my face. I am wearing a respirator, but my garage is filled with fiberglass dust in the air, and it's getting on my neck and my face around the respirator, and the whole time I can barely see, I am about half done, just taking a break. I also noticed some steps on my front deck stairs had come loose, so I went around and screwed some stuff up. And waiting for the rusty bolts on my upstairs toilet to loosen up with WD-40, and will take the tank off and then the toilet base. Tomorrow my friend is going to help me install the new one I bought. I also reached out to the company that did my roof and section of siding to ask them if they gave 3-4 extra cedar shake shingles lying around that I could buy or have. I looked on craigslist but no one has any. However, TONS of people have free firewood rounds. Next year I'll probably rent a small U-Haul and pick up some rounds for free firewood.

I also noticed that someone was giving away several palettes of cedar shake shingles, which is nuts because that much of them is well over a thousand bucks. But, it's 5 hours away. It gave me the idea, though, to see if I can get a trailer for my car, and just keep an eye out for cedar shake shingles on craigslist and try to pick up as many free ones as I can over the course of a couple of years, and then either get a huge discount on re-siding my house or even do it for free. It really needs it pretty bad but I got a quote and the cheapest one was over 30 grand to so cedar shake on the whole thing. I was thinking of going with wood planks instead, which I still might, but I just paid $3600 to re-side a small portion of my siding (so that my roof could be guaranteed, they wouldn't give me a warranty without redoing that section), and I'd have to tear perfectly good siding off, unless I wanted different walls of my house to have different siding, which I don't.
 

Buzz Lightbeer

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But as long as you keep trying, you'll start to figure it out. It's bipolar, right? Have you tried any mood stabilizers, like Lamictal?
No, I insisted on trying sober for a while. Apparently Lamictal doesn't do too much for (hypo)mania which is my biggest issue, I think. Lithium was floated.
I mostly don't want to give up psychedelics, it's the only thing keeping me in touch with my true self so to say.
 

TripSitterNZ

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Stay strong buzz I can tell you now you are not a shit person. And if anybody says you are they are a asshole. My best friend is bipolar and i see him in many states but i always will understand him because deep down he has a good heart when even in hypo manic impulsive states he might be acting very ego centric.

I always learnt to accept everybody and i really do feel for those who suffer from bipolar because it is not there fault its something they have to deal with that people won't understand without having it. Sadly society still seems to judge those who struggle when its truly no fault of their own they should be grateful they don't have to suffer from such challenges in life with mental health. So fuck them you are a good person man i can tell easily. 20's is truly a rough period like Xoroth said.

We have to learn to also not judge ourselves to hard this is something i always do so hard on every mistake i make every situation i fuck up while on a crazy drug / alcohol fueled mood.

Man i always see people promoting anti bullying messages yet they bully and judge the most and if you are not in the norm of whatever bullshit standard society set then so many assholes will judge said person instead of ever reaching out and offering help for said persons struggles they go through. I see it all the time. Which is why my best and closest friends will always be those who went life with tough problems because they always the most accepting. Yet i see all the time people had their life handed on a silver platter with never a worry or anything bad judge everybody act all high and mighty.

hang in there bro and i hope you manage to find something that helps you get through life.
 

Shadow Cat

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It's not an easy life having bipolar I have been symptomatic since my teens. Some years are worse then others I deal with Maria sometimes Buzz and Lamictal deff helps it I would give it a try. Lithium interacts with all kinds of drugs including psychedelics like LSD so id be wary of it if you plan to keep on tripping. I find that the psychs help me tremendously with the depression and I deal with that pretty significantly at times. Id give the Lamictal a try before you go on something heavier, thats just my opinion.
 

Xorkoth

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No, I insisted on trying sober for a while. Apparently Lamictal doesn't do too much for (hypo)mania which is my biggest issue, I think. Lithium was floated.
I mostly don't want to give up psychedelics, it's the only thing keeping me in touch with my true self so to say.

Totally understandable. From what I have heard (from Charlie and others), Lamictal does not really interact with psychedelics. Lithium certainly does though, as you know.

You're definitely not a bad person. ♥️
 

Xorkoth

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I don't remember if I posted this in here, but on Friday I was trying to work out a complex issue at work, hoping to highly customize the programmers' workspace in our new software platform. I worked way late, on and off until about midnight, trying to get it work. Finally I gave up, and figured when I got back to it after not thinking about it, I'd figure it out. Well, sure enough, I did. I started looking at it again this morning, and thought of a new, much simpler approach, and the first attempt was a success. :) It always works out that way, it seems, with programming.

Also, Python is the shit, I'm loving it.
 

JackARoe

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I don't remember if I posted this in here, but on Friday I was trying to work out a complex issue at work, hoping to highly customize the programmers' workspace in our new software platform. I worked way late, on and off until about midnight, trying to get it work. Finally I gave up, and figured when I got back to it after not thinking about it, I'd figure it out. Well, sure enough, I did. I started looking at it again this morning, and thought of a new, much simpler approach, and the first attempt was a success. :) It always works out that way, it seems, with programming.
Thanks Xorkoth. Perfect example of how a lessening of resistance enables thigs to happen. The path of least resistance is how to let the answer in. I can be a weird guy at work, when we are stuck on something I will suggest we close our eyes and take our mind off the problem to let the answer in. lol I mean every answer is right here, but sometimes trying to hard is the resistance that prevents the answers from coming through. I have often solved programs by taking my dog to the park and not thinking about the problem. Then out of the blue the answer comes and it works. :)

When I was in programming school out last project was due the next day. So it is 10:30PM in the computer lab. Lab closes at 11:00PM. 20 of us have our programs done but could not get them to execute. So I go out to my car, take a full pulls from my pipe and the answer came to me. I went back to the lab, it is 10:45PM. I try what I just thought and it worked!. Then the rest of the class was copying my screen. One guy says wow you reak man, so I cover up the screen and say do you want the answer or not? lol (freaking nerd) We all passed the next day.

I hope everyone is feeling and staying well. My favorite Robert Hunter statement: Don't let the bastards steal your heart along with your hat and hand bag!
 

TripSitterNZ

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going to sign up to the gym today. Got myself creatine and protein powder and a meal plan. Jacked dude on roids at the shop was really chill and helpful.

Going to start mostly with free weights to build my strength up first to a decent level. i really need to work on some tricep strength.
 

Xorkoth

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Thanks Xorkoth. Perfect example of how a lessening of resistance enables thigs to happen. The path of least resistance is how to let the answer in. I can be a weird guy at work, when we are stuck on something I will suggest we close our eyes and take our mind off the problem to let the answer in. lol I mean every answer is right here, but sometimes trying to hard is the resistance that prevents the answers from coming through. I have often solved programs by taking my dog to the park and not thinking about the problem. Then out of the blue the answer comes and it works. :)

When I was in programming school out last project was due the next day. So it is 10:30PM in the computer lab. Lab closes at 11:00PM. 20 of us have our programs done but could not get them to execute. So I go out to my car, take a full pulls from my pipe and the answer came to me. I went back to the lab, it is 10:45PM. I try what I just thought and it worked!. Then the rest of the class was copying my screen. One guy says wow you reak man, so I cover up the screen and say do you want the answer or not? lol (freaking nerd) We all passed the next day.

I hope everyone is feeling and staying well. My favorite Robert Hunter statement: Don't let the bastards steal your heart along with your hat and hand bag!

So funny how that works, isn't it? :) My usual solution to a programming problem is to take a shower, or else smoke some weed. But I have too much baseline anxiety to smoke weed recently. Also that can backfire, sometimes, making my thoughts too disorganized. But weed does tend to work quite well. Also microdosing is really good for it. Actually I should microdose, it's been a long time since any psychedelic has touched my receptors at all (a long time for me anyway, like 3 months probably).

I just installed a new toilet, my friend came over to help me. Everything fit fine, it doesn't seem to leak. Only problem is the water tube is like 3 inches too short, I failed to measure the height to the tank. So I have to replace that. I also fo8und out my shower is leaking down into the garage a bit. It's definitely some part of the shower. So I need to fix that. Then I need to patch a spot in my siding... gotta do all this before Friday when the appraiser is coming.

Then, after that, I need to get the same friend to come back and we're going to build a roof and some extra support posts into my deck balcony. So much work! But it's a good kind of work.
 

TripSitterNZ

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when i was doing my math double major i would always smoke weed then do the assignments. Every time i did a calc 3 assignment while stoned i got 90% on it.

Cannabis is really amazing tool for math and programming i reckon. Thats why in 1960s computer programming classes at universities where filled with weed smoke inside they made a new rule only to smoke out side because they could not see shit anymore with how cloudy it got.
 

Vastness

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Definitely sympathise with the reluctance to give up psychs, @Buzz Lightbeer, and whoever else said that recently, if anyone. Since deciding to try out an SSRI that was one of my main concerns, but it's perhaps easier for me since I already knew I was abusing them in a way, by which I mean, not getting much useful out of them anymore, usually combining with stims and/or dissos... also had already decided to embark on a planned 6 - 12 month phase of total sobriety to see if my life improved so thought in the absence of fun drugs I may as well.

For the record though if it's any consolation to anyone struggling to stick to their own substance-oriented resolutions, my own efforts are becoming more and more farcical. I made 60 days sober as a nun, days 60-80ish started to dabble in some noots like racetams, eventually the better ones like Semax analogues, etc, which tbh still seems fair enough sober to me. Then day 80-100 started on the odd valium, just 5-10mg to sleep now and then... then maybe phenibut sometimes in the day... then just last week I drank 4 beers in a fit of depressed, likely SSRI-induced unsettledness and since then have been stacking PPAP HCl, Flmodafinil again, and diazepam occasionally in the daytime now... does this still count as sobriety? 😄🤔

Arguably, definitely pushing it. Am a long way from the dangerous proximity to benzo dependence I was like 6 months ago and in my defence I think this sertraline has really been fucking up my mood for the worse the last week or so. Hopefully it levels out and I'll just quietly wean myself off the stuff I'm currently using to keep myself afloat... would be nice if a doctor could prescribe me a benzo and a stim for a short time just to assuage some of that inevitable substance (ab)user guilt from augmenting my own prescription but, unlikely enough that I probably won't even try.

At some point in the next few months I may well be unemployed, and oh my god sweet jesus I cannot wait, I know this is a weird sentence to say but anyone who paid attention to my occasional rambling dissatisfaction at my unsatisfactory partnership I've been trapped in for the past 5 years plus might remember me constantly vacillating between various degrees of stress related to this. Absolute best case outcome would be that we sell the company for a solid sum that would give me some real breathing room to decide on the next road to take in the tapestry of my life... and even in the worst case I'll be free. It could still drag on for maybe 6 months yet but... please god, finally, light at the end of the tunnel, it's gonna be over... if sobriety, however brief, gave me anything, it was clarity about what's really important in life, and the ability to take action towards that.

Anyone else having a difficult time - trust your own judgement. Things might get better and I hope they do. If you trust yourself, even if you're wrong, you'll usually be right in the end. I have no idea if that paragraph actually makes any sense so please noone pick it apart too much if it doesn't sound right to you lol, but if you can find any positive meaning in it - just ignore the rest! 😄
 

Img_9999

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Weed and math, or any other school assignment, never really worked for me. I feel dumber for sure while high haha, I never understood the people that were able to study while on cannabis.



Damn, guys, this weekend there was a story on the local news about a guy that got busted importing 5-MeO-DMT and Methallylescaline. I got really sketched out because the package was a really small one, 1.5 grams in total. They made a whole sensationalist piece about it, and the fuckers even showed the name of the website lol, I guess that was just a mistake from them but a really dumb one.

I'm kinda worried now, because I used to think small packages were literally impossible to identify and seize by customs. And even if they did, I would have guessed they would put no effort into tracking down the one importing it. But this news story breaks that narrative for me. The poor guy got arrested and everything. I had a package seized a couple of years ago (which contained 2C-B-FLY pelletes, I assumed they were bulky enough to be detected at customs and were the culprit. Guess not necessarily?) , and got a notice but nothing came out of it. This busting sketches me out because I know if I get a package seized again I can possibly face consequences. Scary stuff. Guess I'll stay away from ordering for a while. Fucking cops, why won't they just let us explore our minds and be high ?
 
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AutoTripper

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Weed and math, or any other school assignment, never really worked for me. I feel dumber for sure while high haha, I never understood the people that were able to study while on cannabis.



Damn, guys, this weekend there was a story on the local news about a guy that got busted importing 5-MeO-DMT and Methallylescaline. I got really sketched out because the package was a really small one, 1.5 grams in total. They made a whole sensationalist piece about it, and the fuckers even showed the name of the website lol, I guess that was just a mistake from them but a really dumb one.

I'm kinda worried now, because I used to think small packages were literally impossible to identify and seize by customs. And even if they did, I would have guessed they would put no effort into tracking down the one importing it. But this news story breaks that narrative for me. The poor guy got arrested and everything. I had a package seized a couple of years ago (which contained 2C-B-FLY pelletes, I assumed they were bulky enough to be detected at customs and were the culprit. Guess not necessarily?) , and got a notice but nothing came out of it. This busting sketches me out because I know if I get a package seized again I can possibly face consequences. Scary stuff. Guess I'll stay away from ordering for a while. Fucking cops, why won't they just let us explore our minds and by high ?
I was a smart cookie myself. Upon re-entering the psychedellic universe, January 2019, I saw way ahead what was coming. I spaced big orders over 1 year, good stock to make absolutely sure I could go fully crazy eventually or any time lol!

All orders were a total success, to UK. Then the best gang of all, Dutch, serving me phenomenally well, an awesome range and array of top quality goodies, all the lysegamides available, tryptamines like 4-aco, the god molecule 5 meo good good prices and service, 3 MEO PCP other dissos, loads benzos, Stims etc.

After last January, before even actual Brexit finally, Border Force took authority, free movement of goods within the EU was no more, I had two orders seized.

1st was 100 micropellets of 1cP. Clearly labelled at 150 ug each.

The company voluntarily reshipped me 50 tabs. Labelled 1cP-LSD 100 ug each.

Professional Border Force said I tried to import 50 GRAMS of 1PLSD!

Wrong compound, and WRONG amount.

They called my 50 trips, Half a Million Trips, apparently without any clue.

There was no legal threat. Just an invitation to contest it in court, paying legal costs if I lost, or accept forfeiture of the goods.

I think they called it goods as well, on reflection now I see- they got ONE thing right haha!
 

Img_9999

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Professional Border Force said I tried to import 50 GRAMS of 1PLSD!

Law enforcement are fucking idiots everywhere. In the report of the bust I mentioned on my last post they said they found "concerning amounts [of methallylescaline]". But it was only 0.5 grams lmao. And then there was a cop saying that the stuff was active in sub milligram amounts.
 

AutoTripper

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This work load is alot. I might acutally have to restort to taking some ritalin to keep up with it. I only have 6 pills though and i need to use them very wisely.
I can imagine it’s tough, tiring and head gruelling. I did find studies a lot, but I just barely tried and scraped. I attended all lectures in my 1st year at Uni, always very high on weed vaporizer (even in 1999), buckets, etc.

I took notes of every single comment. 4 full dense scribbled pages per lecture- barely legible.

But this was a technique. By making my brain, whatever functional part of it, stay focussed, visually interpreting and jotting down, to my own eyes and hands at the time, feeling so good and so high, I was really encoding everything into my subconscious visual memory network.

I scraped the essays etc. Exam time, June 2000, I had just regun taking Ecstasy, as some otherworldly pills were in the accommodation village. Green Limes. No scoring, blank, concave on both sides and as tall as wide, very well made, STINKING of wonderful Saffrole, except I’m sure they were MDA, they were a trip and a half.

No cheap thrill. A real experience, magic, wonder and mist.

Plus two of the top 3 proper, proper skunks I’ve ever had emerged, as well as the best Purple Haze, dark, sticky, real trip! The CEV’s on those Green Limes, after a huge blunt of Purple Haze, still the cleanest and most captivating I’ve had I think.

That’s it! MDA. As well as more enhanced tactile sensation being one of the lesser known differences to MDMA, way better CEV’s with MDA.

It has it’s draws for me.

So for exams, I guessed two topics for each exam most likely to come up.

On exam day, zero revision prior, I drank strong black coffee 8.30 am, to leave at 9 am for bus to uni.

I smoked huge blunts of pure sensational Skunk, listened to Pink Floyd.

I selected an essay for one topic, and in those 30 minutes, smoking, higher higher, I encoded the essay, line at a time, into my head.

Well, 3 lines. I said the 1st 3 lines until I could repeat them precisely with eyes closed.

Open. Same again, except line 3,4,5. Then again. Line 5,6,7.

All the way through, each time the second I recited the 3 lines with my eyes closed, next 2 on top of the 3rd, etc, etc.

It worked. I encoded the essays very quickly into my non over revision-taxed head.

The plan was- straight away in exam room, quickly Scribble the learned essay out for that answer, then use the remaining time to write the 2nd answer from a limited selection of topics.

On leaving my wonderful accommodation 9 am for bus ride, higher than high on skunk and life, I carried all my scribbled lecture notes on topic two I picked to “revise” lol.

I skimmed right through them, walking to bus, on bus, up exam stairs until last second, presuming it would all reverberate around my short term memory to put an answer together.

I was so stoned in the exam room I had to chill 15 minutes at times, gazing at the fan, before pen to paper.

It worked to a tee! To many’s surprise, I passed all, very well.

Just an old tale of sensational MDA and weed, and the power of the mind and how that specific revision technique worked like a typical hundred hours of revision, no exaggeration.

Quite remarkable really.
 

AutoTripper

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Law enforcement are fucking idiots everywhere. In the report of the bust I mentioned on my last post they said they found "concerning amounts [of methallylescaline]". But it was only 0.5 grams lmao. And then there was a cop saying that the stuff was active in sub milligram amounts.
If those people actually knew anything, they would never have entered law enforcement to begin with, IMO.

Sadly that applies to many high profile sectors of work or positions of power.
 
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