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Women calling men creeps, is it sometimes about attention?

polarthedog said:
I completely agree with you, women seem too hard on men, and they put more importance on their emotional needs being met than our sexual needs, as if men are dirty because we think about sex every 7 seconds.

It’s definitely hurt my confidence in the past, especially when they complain behind your back, then you can’t even talk to them to try and work it out, or ask them how you could have done differently
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For most women sex and emotions are intricately tied together- if our emotional needs aren't being met its hard to be interested in sex. Also personally speaking there's nothing as unsexy that makes me lose interest quicker than a man whining or complaining about not getting enough sex.
I do agree with you that complaining behind someone's back is bs and pointless- if someone has a problem it's always best to get it out in the open and talk about it.
As to the original post creepiness is all about vibes- some people just give off a bad vibe or come off as ingenuine which gives creepy vibes.
 
ztevoka said:
some people just give off a bad vibe or come off as ingenuine which gives creepy vibes.
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This is something I struggle with.

My first impressions, if I'm not trying, can come off horrible because I won't smile when the other person does, or I'll say something monotone, ect

The trick is, know that you are who you are, and own it. Commit to who you are and then don't harshly judge it. When we second guess ourselves we can come off creepy/inguniene too. Same with paranoia, things like that, sort of just kill vibes.

We all fluctuate between confidence and doubt. Totally natural and necessary to develop. So just don't be harsh on yourself. Or others, because they're going through it as well
 
azzbatshitazzOzzy said:
This is something I struggle with.

My first impressions, if I'm not trying, can come off horrible because I won't smile when the other person does, or I'll say something monotone, ect

The trick is, know that you are who you are, and own it. Commit to who you are and then don't harshly judge it. When we second guess ourselves we can come off creepy/inguniene too. Same with paranoia, things like that, sort of just kill vibes.

We all fluctuate between confidence and doubt. Totally natural and necessary to develop. So just don't be harsh on yourself. Or others, because they're going through it as well
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Are you autistic too? I feel like autistic people get thrown under the bus with this whole subject. We should get a free pass in that area of life.
 
ztevoka said:
For most women sex and emotions are intricately tied together- if our emotional needs aren't being met its hard to be interested in sex. Also personally speaking there's nothing as unsexy that makes me lose interest quicker than a man whining or complaining about not getting enough sex.
I do agree with you that complaining behind someone's back is bs and pointless- if someone has a problem it's always best to get it out in the open and talk about it.
As to the original post creepiness is all about vibes- some people just give off a bad vibe or come off as ingenuine which gives creepy vibes.
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Don’t you think your just as bad as a guy who might be more likely to emotionally neglect a woman because they “talk about their feelings too much”

Their need for sex and your need for emotional stimulation should be equal. If you complained about your needs not being met, would it be fair for them to ignore your needs because they consider them distasteful for some reason or another?

If your significant other complains that your not putting out enough, and all you do is turn it around on them, then I for one, would not want to date you no matter how attractive you are or how many other good qualities you have.

The fact would always remain that you marginalize my needs and prioritize your own, So I would resent you 100% of the time, most likely emotionally neglecting you in the process.

Men NEED sex in a definitely more intense way than woman do, if you love a man, then you have to care about ALL their needs, you can’t pick and choose, if you do, expect them to do the same
 
@polarthedog i think your points is valid but also maybe ztevona may have reacted to the title of the thread which might be an unfair assumption for some women. I have a kneejerk reaction to defend my gender as well. Sounds like we all may.

I post and tag you mostly so that I can answer your question - I relate to lots of autistic traits yeah but am not diagnosed autistic. I am diagnosed dysthymia (before bipolar which isn't as relevant to my temperament) which is a constant but mild depression. I grew up shy, introverted, learned some things about how to coexist with people, but ultimately still feel it's forced with the majority of people. Probably not neurotical, but also not probably clinically autistic, though when I interact and sometimes seem to miss the emotional context I might as well be labeled that to help others understand that I don't intentionally deglect or dismiss emotions and in fact try very hard to do the opposite. I believe I have a fine emotional life however sometimes I am entirely confused by people's reactions to me.

As for my response to your comment about a free pass, no I mean I personally don't think those of us who may struggle a bit socially, are introverted, a bit blunted or confused or what have one should have a free pass that you mention. Im not sure exactly what this free pass would be on in your mind, but again I think unfortunately we just have to do our best, or at least take the responsibility of explaining our situation and knowing not everyone will understand it. Trying to explain it when needed, adapt when needed, to be respectful, is important.

However I am not 100% aware of the struggle of having a disorder such as autism so obviously this is just my thoughts
 
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azzbatshitazzOzzy said:
@polarthedog i think your points is valid but also maybe ztevona may have reacted to the title of the thread which might be an unfair assumption for some women. I have a kneejerk reaction to defend my gender as well. Sounds like we all may.

I post and tag you mostly so that I can answer your question - I relate to lots of autistic traits yeah but am not diagnosed autistic. I am diagnosed dysthymia (before bipolar which isn't as relevant to my temperament) which is a constant but mild depression. I grew up shy, introverted, learned some things about how to coexist with people, but ultimately still feel it's forced with the majority of people. Probably not neurotical, but also not probably clinically autistic, though when I interact and sometimes seem to miss the emotional context I might as well be labeled that to help others understand that I don't intentionally deglect or dismiss emotions and in fact try very hard to do the opposite. I believe I have a fine emotional life however sometimes I am entirely confused by people's reactions to me.

As for my response to your comment about a free pass, no I mean I personally don't think those of us who may struggle a bit socially, are introverted, a bit blunted or confused or what have one should have a free pass that you mention. Im not sure exactly what this free pass would be on in your mind, but again I think unfortunately we just have to do our best, or at least take the responsibility of explaining our situation and knowing not everyone will understand it. Trying to explain it when needed, adapt when needed, to be respectful, is important.

However I am not 100% aware of the struggle of having a disorder such as autism so obviously this is just my thoughts
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No your probably about right, the vague free pass I mentioned would probably be abused by autistic people, I guess I’m just getting a bit emotional about it since it’s something I’ve had to deal with my whole life, and it seems like a fair amount of people just think I should be treated the same as everyone else, which personally I think is bs. Okay, maybe not a “free pass” but some sort of middle ground

Also Society still seems to think of promiscuity and sex as dirty, which needs to change
 
good people, communicate your needs and find what the people who are you intending to start relationship with, want. One can not just assume these things.
 
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@THECATINTHEHAT

I don't love the tone of polar's post but I think calling him a nutcase is worse.

I don't think men need sex more than women. Women are less likely to be satisfied by their partner so (often) probably less motivated to have sex... but women are actually super horny if you're meeting their needs.

Having said that, I agree with the idea of sex on demand (within reason).

Some guys I know tolerate a lack of sex because their wife decides when and if they fuck. That's bullshit. It's manipulative and I wouldn't tolerate it for a second.

If my partner doesn't want to regularly have sex with me, I'll find someone that does. I don't want charity. The other person has to be into it. If we're not sexually compatible, so be it, I'm leaving.

I have sexual needs. Those needs must be met in order for me to be satisfied in a relationship.

Women demand that their emotional needs are met. I see a lot of men catering to the sensitivities and demands of women... It needs to be a two way street.

Give me an enthusiastic blowjob and I'm more likely to return serve.

I think this is largely what polar is saying about the double standard.
 
THECATINTHEHAT said:
This is the thinking of a nutcase.

Serious incel vibes.
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I’ve been in a relationship for the past 4.5 years, because my girlfriend sees sees sex as a need(I see it as the same for her) our relationship is much better than it would be otherwise. It’s my duty as her bf to meet her physical and emotional needs and vice versa. What’s wrong with that?
 
nothing, I just don't experience it like that, deep down, which is also reason I doubt I ever will start monogamic relationship. It felt little off how you generalized this in some sentences, but I am glad you are happy with each other that way.
 
polarthedog said:
Don’t you think your just as bad as a guy who might be more likely to emotionally neglect a woman because they “talk about their feelings too much”

Their need for sex and your need for emotional stimulation should be equal. If you complained about your needs not being met, would it be fair for them to ignore your needs because they consider them distasteful for some reason or another?

If your significant other complains that your not putting out enough, and all you do is turn it around on them, then I for one, would not want to date you no matter how attractive you are or how many other good qualities you have.

The fact would always remain that you marginalize my needs and prioritize your own, So I would resent you 100% of the time, most likely emotionally neglecting you in the process.

Men NEED sex in a definitely more intense way than woman do, if you love a man, then you have to care about ALL their needs, you can’t pick and choose, if you do, expect them to do the same
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So would you really want to have sex with a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you at the time? Would that be satisfying at all when you know she's not into it?
 
@ztevoka

Would it be satisfying at all?
Sure. Absolutely.

A mouth on my dick is a mouth on my dick.
Similarly, I can satisfy a woman when I'm not in the mood.

If my partner asks me to eat her pussy, I'll say yes unless I have a good reason not to.

...

I'd have a problem if my partner said too often they weren't "in the mood".

Once in a while is fine, but if I'm sexually frustrated all the time what am I supposed to do?

Catering to the sexual needs of your partner is an expression of love. An ideal relationship should consist of both parties catering to every desire the other person has (within reason).

Some women are super manipulative when it comes to sex. They use it to control men. It's all about when they want to fuck and how they want to fuck. Well, fuck that.

So would you really want to have sex with a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you at the time?
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Consensually, yes.
Not if it is rape.

I don't want to do the dishes sometimes, but I do them.

People are too precious about sex.
 
ztevoka said:
So would you really want to have sex with a partner who doesn't want to have sex with you at the time? Would that be satisfying at all when you know she's not into it?
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Depends how horny I am/is it consensual?
Also, if we’re talking bj? Absolutely(you know, as long as it’s consensual, I’m not a rapist). the “hotness” of the girl, and how I felt about them emotionally would factor into that decision too, plusWHY is she not into it, is she just sleepy( in which case I can do all the work) or does she have a uti or some general vaginal soreness problem(I mean in that case, blowjob?)

I’m sure there’s a reason that she could have that would make me be like”ima wait till tomorrow” like if she was injured or something idk

I would eat her pussy even if I wasn’t 100% into it, it’s not that hard, and it makes her so happy, I’d feel like a dick if I said no without a good reason.
Idk what guys are talking about saying their mouth’s get tired, I just keep going until she tells me to stop.

I EARN that bj

Personally, if my partner is into something enough, it usually gets me into it and vice versa.
 
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Pissed_and_messed said:
nothing, I just don't experience it like that, deep down, which is also reason I doubt I ever will start monogamic relationship. It felt little off how you generalized this in some sentences, but I am glad you are happy with each other that way.
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I don’t understand, do you mean you don’t experience love like that?
 
Frog Dreams said:
@ztevoka

Would it be satisfying at all?
Sure. Absolutely.

A mouth on my dick is a mouth on my dick.
Similarly, I can satisfy a woman when I'm not in the mood.

If my partner asks me to eat her pussy, I'll say yes unless I have a good reason not to.

...

I'd have a problem if my partner said too often they weren't "in the mood".

Once in a while is fine, but if I'm sexually frustrated all the time what am I supposed to do?

Catering to the sexual needs of your partner is an expression of love. An ideal relationship should consist of both parties catering to every desire the other person has (within reason).

Some women are super manipulative when it comes to sex. They use it to control men. It's all about when they want to fuck and how they want to fuck. Well, fuck that.



Consensually, yes.
Not if it is rape.

I don't want to do the dishes sometimes, but I do them.

People are too precious about sex.
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Agreed, that’s okay for them to use their pussy as a means to control instead of to love, and then act like they’re different from men who lie to a women about being in love with them in order to get in the women’s pants.
Two sides of the same coin, no worse than the other
 
I guess dunno I feel little confused

I've not had much intimacy since psychological trauma anyway, I don't really form new relationships and don't meet people often, I don't know if I would change my mind in some other circumstances.
 
Pissed_and_messed said:
I guess dunno I feel little confused

I've not had much intimacy since psychological trauma anyway, I don't really form new relationships and don't meet people often, I don't know if I would change my mind in some other circumstances.
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Aren’t you lonely though? I mean if your ideas of love don’t match mine, i would think you could find someone who thought the way you did who’d you be comfortable with
 
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