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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Which drug caused you problems?

Cigarettes. I smoked a pack a day for about 18 months, tried quitting umpteen times before I finally made it stick. I'm still not sure why I started OR stopped.

After that I'm just very careful with all drugs; if I start feeling the craving, I quit fast. The only other drug I've abused to the point of w/d's is kratom, and kratom w/d's really aren't that bad -- like Xorkoth, I successfully used phenibut to get through them.

The vast majority of the problems in my life (and there are a lot of big ones currently) were not caused by drugs. They may have been exacerbated by drugs, though. I am pretty firmly of the opinion that drugs -- at least the typical "recreational" drugs like weed, alcohol, opiates, benzos, speed, coke, etc. -- have no positive life value at all. Yet I keep using them.

Why? I'm not sure.
 
Benzodiazepines - So so many stupid ideas that seemed like brilliant ideas at the time, spent alot of time in jails during the early years ( especially alprazolam ) Withdrawl is hell. If i run out i become a social hermit, rarely venturing out even for the most basic things.


Alcohol - Dumb ideas, injuries, you name something dumb i've done, alcohol was probably a factor in it.
 
Marijuana gave me the worst panic attack of my life even though I smoked it everyday for two years before this happened. It was a totally psychedelic/out of body experience and I had terrible flashbacks. I had taken lots of psychedelics before but this was worse than even the worst bad mushroom trip. The general consensus is that it was laced with PCP but I think I just got way too high.

The marijuana flashbacks led me to seek relief in opiates. The opiates cured my anxiety and made me feel like just being alive was ok, something I hadn't ever felt due to several traumatic experiences as a child. After I was arrested I started to use opiates heavily since I had a prescription for them so I could test positive on my urine tests.

Actually, as soon as I tried oxycodone I knew I was going to be an opiate addict. Opiates make me feel normal. It's like my brain was missing the endorphins or something. I like taking small doses of opiates more than I like getting high on them. Opiates are the most powerful antidepressants/anxiolytics I've ever taken. I've used almost every drug out there and opiates were the only drug I ever had a problem with (got addicted to). Opiates have taken more money from me than any other drug, by far. I started suboxone today.
 
Drugs which have caused me problems:

Alcohol: After a 3-month nightly rip at it, I started having my first panic attacks.

Dextromethorphan: After many years of semi-frequent use, depression developed.

Anti-depressants: Only made depression worse and made me psychotic a few times... fuck anti-depressants.

5-meo-dipt: After taking an insanely stupid high dose my first time (~125 mgs), I ended up in the hospital riding out a nasty trip until someone shot me up with some shit-ass anti-psychotic. Life has been better since then since I always have that night for a reference point in what I can bear in life. Then again I'm too afraid to use any tryptamines since then.

Clonazepam: Was put on this shit to cease a drinking habit. Well... of course the drinking didn't stop until I was forced to wean off of this after 4 years of use. Still have no idea what I'm in for when full-withdrawals hit, or what the after-effects of it all will be, but hey life can be worse.

________________________________________________________
Drugs that have helped me:

THC: Nothing helps me out a deep depression quite like a good supply of weed. Also it tends to make me face myself and can help when I'm in a creative rut.

LSD: Brings back the beauty that life used to hold when I was very young. Never had a bad trip with lsd.

Opium/Laudnum: I love my opium. Nothing else synergizes life quite like a good bowl of some sticky opium.
 
Pretty much all stims in the end. Just couldn't keep it together whenever I took them at the worst point. So I gave it all up. Have been stim clean since early June. Still love to drink but thats about as crazy as it gets for me these days. I value my sanity too much.
 
hydros, liked em better then h or oxy

and took way too much x (binge after binge not sleeping) Im still recovering from damage from em
 
Drugs that have caused me problems:

Weed.
Keeps me sane. I have a bad temper, and tendency to over-think situations and totally start freaking out. Weed is my reward for getting through all the bullshit (thats why it sucks when I can't smoke at least once a day). It's taken a huge hit to my wallet..and, just has a grasp on me in general. It makes my anxiety worse (since I'm not a high-all-day-everyday stoner anymore, that's when it just "chilled" me out, I guess I had a "good" tolerance at that time), so I get more anti-social and paranoid than I used to get with it...but even with those negatives..I still use it. Because if I don't, I'll just move on to something else. I'm one of those people that don't really enjoy being sober..especially for long periods of time.

Cocaine.
Thank god I don't have the money for this shit anymore. Since it's so expensive, I can't believe all that money was just going right up my nose. I wouldn't binge (since I had school and work and whatnot), but I still used it everyday whenever I could whenever I had it. I could never save it. Used it 11days in a row, and my nose was royally fucked. Man..I've never fiended so hard for a drug in my life...coke comedowns suck. I haven't touched coke since July sometime.

Meth.
This one is iffy. It would've caused a fuck ton of more problems for me if something didn't happen which ended up with me losing my connection for it. I absolutely love the high of this drug. I love so many things about this drug. As with coke, I would use it if I had it. Always everyday. I just loved that feeling..that AMAZING fucking feeling! I haven't touched it since february..but, guess what..someone I know just told me he's got a connection for it..so we'll see what happens. I plan on using it as a tool for school..but you never know..

Opiates
I love painkillers. I started dabbling in these in the latter part of grade 10.. Ended up splitting an OC 80 with my gf (first time for us, stupid without tolerance, I know..but I still didn't get sick, weird). Anyways, summer came, found a VERY (and I mean V E R Y) reliable connection. Basically could get that shit whenever I wanted, and I was in that house like 3 - 6 times a week (not always there to buy drugs, but they were always there if I wanted them). I even got discounts. I started off buying 20mgs. Then I would buy 2 20mgs, just to make the high last longer. I could get 40's for even cheaper, so I started buying those. Through grade 11 I started to use more frequently, then by the summer going into grade 12, I was buying that shit 2 - 4 times a week. I knew I was getting a problem, but I always told myself "I'll fix it soon". My GF started noticing I was buying them way more than I used to, and I would be buying 3 40s at a time, because I wanted to be doped up for 3 days straight. Then came the time this summer where I used for about 8 days straight, and withdrawals hit me like a tons of bricks. I had experienced little withdrawals before after 3/4 days of using (runny nose, tired, back pain, etc.) But these were tough. My back hurt so fucking bad, and my shins KILLED. But figures, I would go about 3 or 4 days without using, and then pick up again, use for 2 days, get minor withdrawals. This went on for a while, until I went on vacation and was basically forced not to take any, and that ended my downward sprial. Although, I still use oxy every weekend..now that I think about it..it's possible I've been using oxy at least every week for a year now..wow. This is actually going to be my first weekend without it (cant go home, got a weekend midterm (GAY)).

Anyways, stimulants, opiates, and weed. Problems.

I always wonder what I would've been like if I hadn't discovered drugs..
 
Been through many addictions through the years. started off with meth then coke then ex. Right now trying to battle opiates in the form of 120 hydros per month that I'm scripted for severe back pain, been doing well lately with tapering my dose and taking only the number of pills i'm prescribed..its really tough
 
Tripped mush consistently for years then tried acid and had an amazing and pleasant trip. The only problem was the effects never really stopped. After one time I ended up with HPPD for 6 months and noticeable a year after. It being so rare, it was kinda like i hit the jackpot but in a really bad way. It Really sucked. On a day to day basis it was mostly problems with depersonalization (kinda like i was watching my life like as if it was a movie) with some mild some tracers and halos, somewhat like a low dose of a psychedelic. Dont know what kinda acid i had or why it caused the HPPD, but it was a really weird time of my life. Tripped on mush since then and had no little to no problems. Constant visuals seem like theyd be fun, but after a while its not. Couldnt smoke nuggets for that time either because it made the effects so much more difficult to deal with, amplifying them exponentially. Im not sayin acid is bad, lol. I have a lot of friends who love it and have no problems with it. People just react to drugs in different ways. Never had any other issues with psychedelics, MDXX, pot, or other drugs used since then.
 
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Only drug that i feel is bad for me is adderall. i take 60 mgs of dex one day out of the week. usually every wednessday. it just makes my body feel dirty (while im like crashing later in the day not at all during the rest of the week).

Do you guys think this is bad for me in the long run?
 
Technically (psychological damage), it'd be:

i. MDMA + 5HTP + DXM = serotonin syndrome (severe. Too many people equate serotonin syndrome with feeling like shit the day after whilst the potential reality is far FAR worse).

A month later, I had my first grand mal seizure. Then, over the next 5/6 years I had a half dozen per annum.

ii. GBL. Only Drug to directly result in seizures AND, in terms of beneficial effects, it was shit. I took it a few times without combining but ultimately had to take it with my third problematic drug...

iii. Methylphenidate (prescription). Thank fuck I've changed the mind of my doc who will soon be prescribing something else. The extended release version initally delivers a small dose via the outer coating. Even though the effects of ritalin were always shit, sublingual dosing with the extended release version provided a fast buzz that didn't get crappy for 30 minutes (then got really crappy, really quick).

iv. Methlyphenidate + MAOI. We've all read about the dangers of mao interactions, the reality was worse than I'd imagined. A week of drinking myself to sleep with alcohol because my brain was permanently running through explanations for the creation of the universe, whether I wanted to divert my mind or not. Day 3/4 and I was wondering whether I should voluntarily have myself commited to a mental asylum or run down the stairs and throw myself headfirst into the wall.:(


Things have changed a little since I got my hands on ketamine. In comparison to the potential of that drug, opiates, stimulants, benzos etc. seem to have the equivalent significance of ibuprofen - plus the appeal of drugs that are simply blissful or euphoric but don't further my personal understand of everything and 'it', has waned.


*ok, ok - oxycodone and ecstasy are incredible but where I live, oxy is practically non-existant and ecstasy - well, when was the last time that any real percentage of ecstasy pills in production were MDMA and nothing else? I don't mind swallowing dust/concrete/sugar but I resent spoiling a MDMA buzz with nasty amphetamine (dextro-amphetamine wouldn't be so bad a cut I guess).

pocket393 said:
On a day to day basis it was mostly problems with depersonalization (kinda like i was watching my life like as if it was a movie) with some mild some tracers and halos, somewhat like a low dose of a psychedelic. Dont know what kinda acid i had or why it caused the HPPD, but it was a really weird time of my life.
Click to expand...


Yeah, HPPD is fucking scary/irritating. Never had it for a prolonged period of time but definitely had it:

i. Out of the very corner of my eye I would see a movement
ii. I looked where the momement was but...nothing
iii. I'd check for possible reflections off other surfaces
iv. I'd realise I'd been the victim of a bona-fide hallucination.

Post ketamine, I've seen visual disturbances that lasted several minutes and would ultimately have led me to suicide if they persisted for several days. Glad you're ove them.
 
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addiction

For me all drugs lead to addiction. I know i have an addictive personality. there is never enuf. Addiction is worst than any other illness that i know. For all the users out there all drugs lead to addiction than thats the end of the story. I have already wasted over 60K in treatment in hazelden. and other halfway houses and ect. it will kill you and loss everything. in my experience.
 
I should've added a real beast of a problem drug/combo:

Temazepam + Alcohol, aka,

Neighbour - I hear some crazy guy was roaming the streets doing loads of crazy shit last night

Me - I didn't hear anything. I just a had a couple of beers and....

<then realisation hits you and those cuts and bruises from hurdling gates, climbing onto cars>

Or, if you're lucky, you just wake up in your living room and find a cigarette in your hand that burnt right down to the filter.
 
my drug of choice is obviously oxycontin!!! i AM DEFINENTLEY AN ADDICST. bUT BETTER YET, I AM AN ADDICT IN RECOVERY!!! i HAVE USED OPIATES FOR ABOUT 2 YRS NOW AND I HAVE BEEN CLEAN FOR 3 WEEKS AND IT'S KILLING ME!!!
 
Tiesto said:
I always wonder what I would've been like if I hadn't discovered drugs..
Click to expand...

me too. once you've been high for such a substantial part of your life can you even say with confidence who YOU are? i'm not sure that i can.
 
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