What the hell am I dong wrong? (Dating websites)

[gr33n3y3z]

It doesnt, but it doesnt make a good first impression if your first correspondence makes you seem like a 15 y/o either.

I just L M F A O

l 0 l8)

 

[bass face]

lol an average looking girl on ok cupid will get 75 messages a day. These sites are nothing but a place for average at best women to get put on a pedestal but thousands of white nights just like you. You better be in the 95th percentile for aesthetics or have a shit load of money.

I've gone out on a few dates with girls off there and hooked up with a few randoms but on average it takes less effort to get it in IRL.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

wow I see that we been cleaning out posts left and right. It's cool though my post was viewed by plenty no not by plentyoffish <--- or whatever its called. But plenty of BL'ers.

My posts were not that harsh were they? Mods feel free to Pm me

 

[justinsayno]

OP.
I used to have a fairly good luck on the dating websites.
I'm in my 30s with kids so was chatting to 30 something single mums. That may be a factor, the younger girls may've just made profiles for something to do or a laugh. The younger girls are also more likely to be clubbing and what not so another reason they may not be as committed to the process.

Not sure what advice I can give.
but... join more than one sight. If your only looking locally it doesnt take long to exhaust your options.
Only write to people when you're in the 'the zone'
I used to warm up by chatting on FB, if i felt that i was having a witty day I'd log into my dating things. If i was tired, run down and not full of witty comebacks i wouldnt bother.

I know how you feel, like 70% of women seem almost offended or at least disinterested... I'd be like "eh wtf are you doing here if random blokes saying hello bothers you so much?"

I guess they're just getting a lot of messages so just judge quickly to sort the wheat from the chaff, so your opening line needs to be a killer.

When you find something that works, your 'style' i guess, stick with it. [ thats one of the reasons i got bored of it - found myself telling the same jokes again and again - it got boring ]

So in nutshell;

Warm up on fb or a chat room [ if they still exist ]
Dont beat yourself up if you dont get a reply, theyre probably twats anyways
Join more than one site
A few of your commets above mention the way they look, i'd probably try to avoid that, even if they are supermodel material doent mention it, coz you can be sure everyone else is.
Be polite, dont stress over it - just see it as a passtime.
Try to stand out from the crowd but be yourself
Be patient
Dont boast
Hit the gym [ or get wieghts and work out at home ] - i worked out like a fool just to look good in my profile pics... a fairly stupid reason to do it, but it does boost confidence and energy levels. Dont worry, once you have worked your magic you cna let the weights gather dust and get back to playing video games and smoking weed again.

Good luck ol' bean

Dudes who would otherwise lack the balls to talk to a chick IRL all of a sudden have an avenue towards their attention.

This isnt always true. Some people just dont enjoy pubs or clubs. Some people have kids and work long hours so meeting people offline is difficult.
The idea that internet dating as a means of making that first contact is only for loosers doesnt really apply in 2013. The irony of people banging on about what social butterflies they are in a forum never fails to make me smile


oh yeah - one final thought. OP if you can go on a subscription site for a few months, the people that have paid cash to be on the site are more likely to actually be looking

 

[nuttynutskin]

wow I see that we been cleaning out posts left and right. It's cool though my post was viewed by plenty no not by plentyoffish <--- or whatever its called. But plenty of BL'ers.

My posts were not that harsh were they? Mods feel free to Pm me

I don't know what your beef is with me but I started this as a semi-serious thread, not to be insulted with memes you found off the internet. You're being rude for no reason and not just to me. If you don't have anything meaningful to post how about not posting anything at all?

 

[nuttynutskin]

lol an average looking girl on ok cupid will get 75 messages a day. These sites are nothing but a place for average at best women to get put on a pedestal but thousands of white nights just like you. You better be in the 95th percentile for aesthetics or have a shit load of money.

I've gone out on a few dates with girls off there and hooked up with a few randoms but on average it takes less effort to get it in IRL.

I'm not sure what makes you think I'm a "white night". Think you're getting being nice confused with that. I'm not looking to save anyone. I mean hell I pay just as many compliments to the guys I know at the gym as any dating site. The rest I more or less agree with you tho. It's kind of stupid there's such an imbalance of women getting mail as to guys.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Honestly, online dating is for the birds. It's retardedly skewed towards a female bias. Every girl has like 20 messages daily from everyone guy on the planet because it's 10x easier to handle rejection when you don't PHYSICALLY walk up to them --- all you do is press 'submit' and that's it. Dudes who would otherwise lack the balls to talk to a chick IRL all of a sudden have an avenue towards their attention. If you want REAL advice, start talking to women in real life and forget about that website. Otherwise, read Droppersneck first rule and also never forget that it's a numbers game.

This isnt always true. Some people just dont enjoy pubs or clubs. Some people have kids and work long hours so meeting people offline is difficult.
The idea that internet dating as a means of making that first contact is only for loosers doesnt really apply in 2013. The irony of people banging on about what social butterflies they are in a forum never fails to make me smile


oh yeah - one final thought. OP if you can go on a subscription site for a few months, the people that have paid cash to be on the site are more likely to actually be looking

Yeah I don't think it's got anything to do with lacking balls anymore (at least not for me), although Max did have some points. But right now my case has got more to do with convenience and on some factors currently limiting my social life. I think another part of it is it's just becoming harder to meet people nowadays and everyone is becoming more and more self centered. I mean everyone's so wrapped up in technology with their cellphones and material things talking to their friend about how their last meeting with their shrink went while sipping a Starbucks cappuccino, how is anyone really supposed to meet? Although I guess me using a dating site to try to meet people kind of makes me a hypocrite.

Oh well, right now I have nothing better to do anyways, so if nothing else I might learn something. And I may look into a pay site since members might be more serious, but right now I'm broke besides what I have in savings.

 

[Belisarius]

There are lots of sites out there that tell you how to spruce up your profile. Something that's worked for me is to say what you're *not* looking for. That is, don't say "I'm looking for ___", say "I don't want ___," or "Don't be (a) _____." Male or female, everyone has something to prove, and they like to prove or disprove it. I don't mean "No fatties," more like "Sure, you like to read, but you do read *good* books? Suzanne Collins or Laurell K. Hamilton don't count." Call it negging, but it gets the blood up in subtle ways, and it works.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

This is such a sad thread. Please message me when you find a girl in your area. I will create the messages for you.

 

[footscrazy]

First, stop using "lol" when corresponding. I know its the Internet and all but showing some sign of grammatical intelligence will help you stand out. Save all the text lingo for texting (or sexting) later on.

I agree with this. I think it makes your comments look insincere and a bit flippant. I think a few of the examples you provided can be read that way too. For example,

Ok I just have to ask, what the heck is environmental services at a hospital? lol

This comment could be intepreted as somewhat critical and belittling. Also, I can imagine someone being not too impressed with the following -

Hey how are you? Was looking at your profile, you shouldn't say you're not as pretty as most, you have some nice features

I don't know, some nice features just doesn't come across as a great compliment.

This is just what I would think if I received comments like that. IMO, I think being straightforward and courteous would work better than going for the quirky, funny approach. I think that kind of thing is heavily dependent on delivery and doesn't translate well to text.

 

[nuttynutskin]

This is such a sad thread. Please message me when you find a girl in your area. I will create the messages for you.

Hahaha that bad huh? Thanks for the offer but don't worry I'm not taking any of this shit seriously anymore. And besides, I'd rather fail miserably on my own than be someone I'm not.

 

[nuttynutskin]

Also, I can imagine someone being not too impressed with the following - I don't know, some nice features just doesn't come across as a great compliment.

This is just what I would think if I received comments like that. IMO, I think being straightforward and courteous would work better than going for the quirky, funny approach. I think that kind of thing is heavily dependent on delivery and doesn't translate well to text.

See... this is what I mean, even in real life I am sure. I say something meant as a compliment and it comes out like an insult. But in all honesty there is two meanings to what I said. The one you pointed out basically would be implying "You have some nice features but the rest of you is shit", or what I was TRYING to say "You have some nice features period". I mean if someone says "You have some nice eyes" it doesn't mean you think the rest of them is garbage. Oh well, I do not have a way with words. lol

 

[gr33n3y3z]

I don't know what your beef is with me but I started this as a semi-serious thread, not to be insulted with memes you found off the internet. You're being rude for no reason and not just to me. If you don't have anything meaningful to post how about not posting anything at all?

You see I don't have "beef" with you, but you have ragged on me to in the past.

This is the internet right? okay. Most of these replies are probably what you receiving one dating sites.

Look I just don't get it why can't you find a chick out side in the real world?

If you really insist on dating sites, you might get lucky and get a desperate tranny you two can have a hot night out on the town.

My final say before this thread burns down and gets closed. That jpeg I put up was pretty funny I'm actually laughing ATM.

And one more thing use the search engine. There have been shit tons of these threads made already. Look through em'.

 

[rickolasnice]

Look I just don't get it why can't you find a chick out side in the real world?

If you really insist on dating sites, you might get lucky and get a desperate tranny you two can have a hot night out on the town.

Why? You on there?

NSFW:

Jokin

Peoples assumption of everyone on dating sites being desperate is just.. ignorance of the whole thing..

I could say a girl getting dolled up and dressing in revealing clothes to go and pull at a bar is desperate.

 

[gr33n3y3z]

Well maybe it's because I've never had problems getting dudes in real life (not trying to come off cocky).

But dating sites are full of weirdo 99% of the time I would imagine.

 

[rickolasnice]

But dating sites are full of weirdo 99% of the time I would imagine.

My point exactly.. you're guessing based on an assumption based on nothing.

There are many reasons why people would join a dating site other than being a "desperate weirdo".

 

[gr33n3y3z]

Well it is my opinion and ill stick to it.

Anyway do you frequent these sites?

 

[rickolasnice]

Nah..

But i know people that do (well.. have).

 

[alasdairm]

I'm starting to think that any sort of communication isn't my thing. Things I say come out wrong or creepy when they were totally not intended to, people don't get when I'm joking or not. You name it.

maybe. maybe not. but maybe there's a lesson there?

Honestly I think you're reading into things a little too much.

maybe you're not reading into things enough?

there's a lot of aggression in your responses - you asked people for opinions and you're getting bent out of shape when they give you one. perhaps you should have outlined what you wanted to hear and asked people only to give you opinion which agreed with you? maybe there's some thinking to be done here too?

there's also a lot of self-pity in your responses. for many, that's a very unattractive quality and, even if you're doing it subconsciously or subtly, women will pick up on it. have you considered that you may just not be ready for dating right now?

Okay rule one: being overly nice is gay and will get you no where just get to the point of what you are looking for and cater to no ones feelings
2) post good pics of yourself doing things like climbing, playing gigs, picking up copperheads, form fitting shirts that show you arnt a pussy(dont go with shirtless shirts as girls dislike it for some reason)etc
3) dont give a fuck you are online and who cares. I sent a message to a hot man hating style girl that had a bitch profile that hated on men, I messaged "yikes" and got into a big convo and I still messaging her at atm.
4) Express apathy to the whole online dating thing on your profile and talk about how you really just want to find someone to connect with but you are not sure you ever will.
5) never say anything sexual when texting and be funny via the interwebz as best as possible
6) Rep your status, job, education and if your sisters have kids talk about how much you love spending time with them and watching them grow up.
7) In your photos have pics of yourself with some less attractive female friends
8) dont sweat shit. If it is meant to be it will happen

I am curently chatting with this chick that is a toyota mechanic and hot using the current tactics. She sounds awesome. I am able to talk to her about cars and what not!

and what if this is not who he is? how long does he have to keep lying (because, let's face it, that's what you're suggesting)? when the veneer starts to wear off and he can't remember how to be your model of a 'great guy' what advice do you have to help him explain to this girl who's fallen for 'him' that he's actually not at all who he said he was when they met?

alasdair

 

[alasdairm]

But dating sites are full of weirdo 99% of the time I would imagine.

i would imagine you're quite wrong. internet dating is very much in the mainstream now. a lot has changed in, say, 10 years and the taboo of finding someone online seems, for the most part, to have disappeared.

There are many reasons why people would join a dating site other than being a "desperate weirdo".

indeed.

alasdair