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Vent/Rant Thread vs. 2 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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Fuck those headaches! I should prepare my lessons for tomorrow, but this pain is keeping me from doing anything productive. It's not enough that I'm tired from the last weeks, thank you universe! Maybe I'm overdoing it recently. Already trying to wind down a bit, but with varying success. Sucks though.

And fuck those happy couples creeping out of their holes just because it's springtime. Everytime I see them I feel the urge to turn into Charles Manson. :X
 
Wow just found out while picking up my script i have a drug test to take. pretty weak. i mean i havent done any drugs besides buprenorphine and what im scripted... hope to god the bupe doesnt set it off.
 
hmmm... well im getting my script wrote out.... def not gonna mess around with my script or use subs cuz i ran out a few days early. thats a fast track to losing them. i was scared ax xhit.
 
BrahamCracker said:
I can't stop eating holy shit. I ate three times already today and its 2 pm, shit happens when you're bored i guess.
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I'm having the opposite problem. I'm having a lot of trouble getting an appetite and then actually eating.

Apparently you need to eat, so it's been difficult.
 
Just back after a week off work and don't think I accomplished anything. I didn't get any appointments with my doctors and barely managed to relax. And now that I'm "back in the swing of things" I feel more out of swing than ever. I want to go out and have fun with people, because even when I feel the shittiest, at least going out with a crowd usually distracts me for a minute...but now I go out and all I can find myself doing is biding my time until I can leave and not look like a complete douche. I'm sick of talking to my friends about anything in my head since they can't fix it either and I feel like I'm just pigeon-holing myself as the fucked up kid in the group. So it leaves me feeling unable to talk to anyone at all because I'm so sick of the surface shit and I'm ever more sick of this existential crap and generally feeling like shit. Just feel overcome with this pervading fatigue and malaise.
 
I did try to, but I've found out it's pretty damn hard to get a hold of doctors when it's most important. I called 3 days and left messages and never heard back (and still haven't) from my doctor. Went to the clinic and we agreed maybe a 3 day stint wasn't going to do much for me in the long run, but the soonest I can get in is 3 weeks from now. I'm definitely not upset with the doctors at all, though. I know from seeing the waiting rooms and scheduling that they have a lot of people who they're trying to help.
 
rangrz said:
That`s nice, but I`ll continue for my part, to judge the female gender based on each person and not make a sweeping statement declaring my hate for roughly three and a half billion people.

Im just posting to say I fixed the problem in my previous rant. :D
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Well since women are better than men I'm not surprised your opinion is positive and mine is negative :D. But I thought this was called a "vent/rant" thread? Where we can just get stuff off our chest? Obviously I don't hate all men on the planet, but I thought this was a place where I could just express my anger without getting a lecture....
 
J.Wallace said:
Hope this part is a joke. You don't really believe women are better than men, do you?

Not that men are better than women, just that you're statement is one of a dramatic generalization.
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Does the word HYPERBOLE mean anything to you? I thought putting a smiley face next to my statement would make it clear I was being facetious but apparently no one around here has a sense of humor...
 
So my sister called me tonight and told me she wants me to move back to connecticut. She told me our dad wants me to move in with them. I told her that I don't want to and she doesn't understand why. She doesn't get why I can't leave pennsylvania and all my friends because I can just make new ones.. Also she told me that I should because our dad wants to help me not just financially but in other ways too. I was like wtf? Why now? It makes me mad that he's trying to help me out now after all this time and at this point I don't even want to it. I was stupid and drunk one night and wrote I love you dad on his wall on facebook.... I thought it was funny at the time but ugh now he thinks I do... I even called him for his birthday and he was like I love you and I had to awkwardly say it back.... The truth is I still kind of hate him because of the past and also how he didn't take me in when I was homeless this summer/early fall... Instead I was trapped in a placement and now I'm living in transitional housing. So all I can say is fuck them and most of my family.... Even now I'm not sure if I can deal with my mother!! I'm busting my ass trying to get money to move out and I give her all my child support which my father still sends (its to her account but I never make her give it to me)... And now I find out she possibly has a warrant for something I will not talk about because I don't want to say anything incriminating. I'm just so mad at her and I no longer can handle all this shit...

I'm trying so hard to stick by my mother but she's bringing me down. I mean she's done so much for me but things just have been going wrong. I can't do it anymore but I don't want to live with my father either. At this point my family won't help me because they don't want to give my mother any money... And they always think it has to do with her which is so dumb. So now I'm going to try and do this college thing on my own for as much as I can and then see if I can manage to get help with a loan... After I'm settled on my own. My sister was like our dad can help you with college and I should just put up with living in connecticut and going to UCONN. I don't want to live there again and I don't want to go to UCONN... She thinks I'm dumb for that and I'm going to just end up with a lot of debt but honestly I think my happiness is more important. I rather be in debt and happy than be without debt and unhappy.... What's the point of living life if you aren't happy? I think if I lived with my dad I would end up going insane... I already was kicked out of his house during summer this one time. We mad amends now but I still can't stand him or his wife... My sister tells me dad is getting old and has heart problems so we should try to get to know each other now. Well what happened to all those years he could of gotten to know me his?! His first daughter the one he so wanted to have but oh he just walks out when I was in 4th grade and never comes back. I shouldn't have to get to know him now because he's in his 50's and whatever... I shouldn't have to do anything. It makes me mad that he actually thinks I have to depend on him. It makes me mad my family wasn't there when I needed them. So fuck them all... I don't need anyone but myself and my friends to keep me sane. I'm not going to change my plans for anyone else....
 
this kony sensation is grinding my gears.
completely oblivious are they all to the bloodshed and pointless slayings happening all over the planet.
it just takes one greedy millionaire to capture the hearts of everyone through a video and create a large frenzy of social ~activism~
like i've been saying all day.
YOU DIDNT CARE MUCH WHEN PEOPLE FROM YOUR OWN COUNTRY WERE GETTING WIPED OUT BY HURRICANES, SO WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING EVER SO HARD TO CHANGE THE WORLD NOW???
people said they were gonna change the world after seeing videos of 9/11
people said they were gonna change the world after seeing videos of the japanese tsunamis
people are saying they are gonna change the world after watching this money making video.
get a grip.
try doing something for humanity without being forced to by the media!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
/rant
 
Can you rant here about happy things or just about how disappointing the last few months have been?

I'm hoping I can start getting my shit together now. I'm feelin ready
 
Need to go to the bank... So now I have to catch the bus at the crack station, I mean bus station... I just wish I had a car. I love how I don't even have my license though let alone my permit.
 
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