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Vent/Rant Thread vs. 2 (POTENTIALLY TRIGGERING)

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n3ophy7e

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The last thread reached its 1,000+ posts quota so here is the new vent/rant thread. The previous thread is here.

The purpose of this thread is for you to vent your current woes and frustrations. Please note that while ALL other threads in The Dark Side have a strict "No triggering content" policy, we are a little bit less strict in this thread because, well, yall gotta have somewhere to fully unleash, right?!

I would also like to remind everyone that you all have a Blogs function on your profile, so please feel free to utilise that, as well as this thread :)

Take care everyone <3



Here are the last two posts from the previous thread:

Mariposa said:
^I understand, badfish - I am grateful that self-harm is one addiction that never caught me. Wishing you and yours the best.

My rant: I'm totally creatively blocked and my soon-to-be-former house (moving) lacks insulation and proper laundry. I have already cleaned up one flood with brand-new towels. The people are very nice but not the right situation. Last place lacked thick enough walls (thankfully, they were insulated) but contained a high-maintenance individual aside from me, plus associated family. No grudges, even watched a creepy show on FX with present housemate. It was surprisingly normal.

I need to find a fucking studio, stat. Parking free and bedbug free (went through that years ago :|).

I booked my ticket home for the holidays. As Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I may have the funds to travel/invite others (won't know till closer to then), I'm wondering what the blank I will do this year. My ex and I were supposed to spend it together.

Further rant: The pressure is building but I have this odd quirk where I give off a calm vibe when I feel like I want to throw things as an infant would do.

The universe can stop shitting on me anytime now.
Click to expand...

panic in paradise said:
and i am not far off or joking now the fucking FDA is saying that, people who took what i did, about 30 months ago, are 30 moths later getting a weird type of blood-cancer, that attacks susceptible tissue, like the colon and bladder etc etc etc


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmM7mfFAj-k
^ the Damn Breaker
Click to expand...
 
fuckity fuck!
haha

finally,,,,fucking way too much scrap MMJ, and Turmeric Honey and milk, and i got my stomach cooled, for now...
 
Fuck I hate DVI they can suck a dick! I need to get out of transitional housing or else ima commit suicide on these bitches....going ham on these motherfuckin nazi's. Seriously they came into our apartment today and looked through EVERYTHING...even in our fridge. Wtffffff, and omfg at least they didn't come into my room since my mom lied and said I was sick but I was actually hiding our two cats in the room. Fml my anxiety is at an all time high and I'm paranoid. Damn, we had no other choice but to hide our pets or else the shelter was going to take them and put them down. So now my mom and I are looking for a place to take in our pets temporarily because its too stressful here. Especially knowing that they do surprise checks and can come in even if we're not here as long as the woman is with someone else. Fucking domestic violence victims get treated like shit, we mine as well go back to our abusive homes while we're at it.
 
i'm quitting tramadol for the umpteenth time. i don't even really get any positive effects from them any more except a little psychosomatic stuff involved with taking *something* whenever I wake up. the withdrawal I get from this stuff is terrible though, I'm on day 3 with zero minutes of sleep and it is really starting to get to me. I can deal with all the other symptoms but the complete lack of rest makes everything else a bit more unbearable.

on top of that, this is my third october in a row bitching in TDS about how I need to get clean. it's just the same old shit.. I'm starting to think I have more of a drug problem then I'd like to admit because whenever I kick something I just go get on something else.

shrug

ssdd
 
villian said:
on top of that, this is my third october in a row bitching in TDS about how I need to get clean. it's just the same old shit.. I'm starting to think I have more of a drug problem then I'd like to admit because whenever I kick something I just go get on something else.

shrug

ssdd
Click to expand...

i can relate to some of this.....on day 5 of a similar WD ....nearly out of weed ....no money.... stuck in a room....wish the depression would lift...thats my worst symptom
 
villian said:
on top of that, this is my third october in a row bitching in TDS about how I need to get clean. it's just the same old shit.. I'm starting to think I have more of a drug problem then I'd like to admit because whenever I kick something I just go get on something else.
Click to expand...

I can COMPLETELY relate to this.

Fall of 2007 I spent 2 months tapering off of suboxone
Fall of 2008 I tapered off of sub again (2nd week of October)
Fall of 2009 I tapered off of sub for a third time (3rd week of October)
Fall of 2010 I tapered off of oxy/dope/sub (Oct. 31 was my last day of WD)

And hey look at that! It's fall of 2011 and I'm trying to taper off again. Hopefully will be clean again soon and will have once again gotten clean in October. This addiction has consistently ruined the summer and fall months for me.
 
Cannot wait to get in, smoke a joint and take a temaz to stick two fingers up to this day truely. Fuck. This.
 
It did compel me to Google Samuel Becket, though. Quite an interesting character
 
^
Google answers most of my questions

I'm kind of glad I at least went through elementary school and most of middle school where you actually had to look shit up to get an answer. That was a lot harder. You had to find a book that might be on the subject and then you'd actually have to read some of it to find your answer. Now I can type my question in google and my answer will pretty much instantly pop up.
 
Aye, PiP, I am so sorry and so sad. The system of "health care" in this country is criminal. :(<3
 
<3...<3

thank you thank you !~ but, no no no, im not sad, please dont be sad <3 i am fucking inspired to live this life full-on-lividly.


Aum Ketave Namaha

GaM
 
Busy week. And still 3 more days . Sometimes I wish I had somebody, just so that's how I could spend my rare off days. You know, with someone important, doing something, not just me coming home and sitting around either on my computer or getting stoned by myself or with friends. Don't get me wrong, both are fun, but only to a point. It doesn't bother me that much, just kind of on my mind right now. Right now, life isn't meant to be dealt with alone. At least not for me.

On a brighter note, my depression has been recurring less and less often. That's a nice change.
 
Im 24 going on 60 I feel like im cheating myself. I tell myself atleast im not snorting pills anymore and have turned to rc's as a semi-legal alternative.
!
My shrink knows of my past with opiates. I used mdpv to combat w/ds from 60mg cymbalta +150mg wellbutrin. I only take zyprexa for stimulate come downs.

I went from pills of known origin to sketchy vendors. Im not happy sober. God damn bible bashing idiots. Idiots everywhere id like to kick the shit out of you people

Help me help me! To much dxm and salvia.. damn idiots with keyboards everywhere.

Thanks
 
Mother is in a really bad mood, kind of just throwing out everything that I do that's wrong. All I had was an opinion about why I don't feel school works, and she literally blew up on me, and then comes home and takes it all out on me. But I've learned. If I'm going to kick this stupid depression, its time to start thinking with a clear head and not let these things get to me. I simply told her I'm dropping it. I'm done, I'm not going to argue this because there's only one way that it's going to end, so the smart thing is to drop it and let the steam blow off. Of course she blew up on me again, but honestly I don't care. It feels good to let this all get past me. Much better way of handling things, ignoring all the accusations I know in my heart are false, and whatever else she wants to take out of context. No need to let this stupid shit get to me.
 
Sounds like another instance of the kid being more grown-up and parent-like than the parent. Hang in there, Bad.<3
 
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